Today is a very hard day, my Moose kitty has been gone 4 months. How could it be so long? How can I make it day by day without him? For 10 years everything was about him, he needed so much care, we loved him so much. I hate this.

Ten years ago I lost my best friend and kitty cat, Butch. I almost followed him, sometimes I wish I had. I know this time it's not an option, I have to stay and take care of the family I have. Hubby, Autumn and little Majik need me. In a way it's nice to know I'm past the half-way mark. I'm 55 soon, I don't have as many years left as I have lived. Sometimes that's scary and sometimes it's a comfort. I know I can go and be with my boys.

I also know tomorrow will be better. I want to give you all out there hope too, even if I'm not feeling it much today. I AM doing better, I can look back and see how far I've come. While I do cry every day some, I don't cry all day anymore. There is joy and much love in my life, I can see it now. I can reach for it now.

I know when Moose passed he filled the universe with his love, he was so full of love. I'm selfish I know, I wanted it all for me for a while longer. When my Butch passed he took some of the light from my life, and Moose took more. Maybe that is what life and death are, we live and our losses make life darker and darker till we can't see anymore. Oh I'm am such a downer today, I'm sorry.

Moosie I want to see your little face so much baby. I want you to yell at me and love me and be with me. I thought we would have more than ten years buddy, I really did. I miss all of you, but most of all your love.

You had such a huge soul, you filled anywhere you were. The house is so empty without you in it. Mommy is so so sad without you. it's so hard to look at your pictures, and so hard not too.

I do have love and joy in my life, I was crying so Majik kitten came and asked for attention, by poking me in the bum with his sharp little claws. When I picked him up he licked my tears, which only made me cry harder. He is so soft and small and has such a precious little body...he's just not Moose.

Mommy will love you forever Buddy

Oh, Moose Mom, I'm so sorry. It's not fair that they take our light and leave us in the shadows. I know the temptation to follow them. Believe me, I know.

At least the love goes deep enough to hold the pain, and hopefully the pain will give way to slivers of joy some day.

I'll be thinking of you.

Dear Lori,oh,I have been thinking of you all day.I knew this day was drawing closer.You and I found this site just about the same time.I lost my boy on Oct. 13th.I am sorry your so sad today but I hope you know that you are in my thoughts tonight.I miss my boy too and sometimes I wish I could join him at the bridge but yet we know that our place is here.We have families to care for and kitties to love.I know your Majik will never replace your Moose but I am glad you have him in your life to give you support and love.I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my new boy Smoky to give my love to.I hope your feeling okay tonight and I pray you will have a better day tomorrow.Your right,time does help some.It doesn't take it away completely but it does give you time to learn how to deal with it.You are such a special person and you give so much insight to the people who are in pain on this website.You have a beautiful soul and I am glad you share your wisdom with all of us.I am thankful to know you and I pray you will be better soon.Sincerely your friend,Renee (Sox' mom)

Please don't worry about giving others hope right now.....your heart and soul are aching for your baby and I expect mine to be doing the same when Mo's 4 month mark comes. And you're not a downer. I often wish I were older than 35 (although mentally I feel about 75) so that I wouldn't have to wait so many years to be with my babies. Why would we want to wait?

What an amazing mom you are.

Dawn, Jakes mommy

When it comes right down to it I know that the joy is great and the pain is small, some days it's just so hard to feel it. The love is huge and that is what matters most. He was so full of love his little body just wasn't able to hold it anymore, it had to expand and fill the universe. I just miss him so much. Blessed Be.

Renee, Sox's mom

Thank you so much. I'm so grateful you were here to talk to and to read your posts. You are so special and you have helped me so much. You are such a bright soul. I'm so happy you have your beautiful Smoky. No Majik and Smoky aren't Moose and Sox, they are their own special little selves. Sometimes it's just hard.

I hadn't noticed before, maybe I'm slow, but you did the same thing we did in the name of the new one. Started it with an S, we used an M. I didn't think about it when we named Majik, it just fit him. Do you ever find yourself calling Smoky, Sox? I call Majik, Moose just too often. It's painful, another time I would think about that. Ah well live and learn. Sending good thoughts and love your way.

Mo & Maisie's mom

I lost my best friend and kitty cat, Butch, 10 years ago. He was 22. It seems so long now since I've seen him. Sometimes I wonder if he is still waiting for a Mommy who is so dang slow. In my head I know there is no time where he is, buy my heart has trouble buying it, you know? Thanks for saying I'm an amazing mom, I think you are too.

Love

Moose Mom,

All these anniversaries seem to be creeping up on us all round about the same time don't they?

I don't think any of us here can really believe we have made it this far without them.

All our lives have changed and all of us have taken great courage and strenght to get us through the days and nights without them, so with that thought I think we should be 'congratulating' ourselves for having come this far on such a difficult journey.

Our emotions are like a never ending see-saw, one day up, one day down, but always the same difficult balancing act to master.

As the old saying goes - it's better to loved and lost than to never loved at all.


THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE THAN LOVE ITSELF.....

Take care

Debbie

Debbie

Thank you. They do seem to come around together. We help each other through.


So very true.

Love

Lori

I'm so sorry that its your turn for an "anniversary". They never seem to get any easier do they? I'm glad little Majik is there for you and I really think Moose sent him to you. He is lucky to have you, as well. You are a wonderful mom to them all. I know wherever they are, Moose and Butch are both looking down on you with love and they are content to wait until they can be with you again someday.

Thinking of you and Moose today.

Paula

Paula

Thank you. I'm very sure Moose had a hand in picking Majik for me. I asked him for help. Thanks for saying I'm a good mom, I know you were and you will be again, soon.

Love

Hey,Lori.I do catch myself calling Smoky Sox all the time.....my husband does it too.I guess we just had our Sox for so long that it became old hat to yell out Sox like a million times a day so it is taking time getting used to saying Smoky instead of Sox.We've already given him a few nicknames as well, Smoke,Double G (what we like to refer to as his rap name,short for Gray Ghost) Ghostie Boy and just plain ole sweetbaby.He's such a cutie pie and he does bring much joy to our lives.We are lucky to have him.I hope you are doing better today and that your not so sad.Thanks for the nice things you said about me.I'm glad I could help you in any way possible.Take care and I'll talk to you soon.Sincerely,Renee (Sox' mom)

Just wanted to thank you for your kind words. Just remember the kindness comes back to you 10 fold. My heart aches for you and missing your baby. I miss Nikki every day! Both our furbabies are in a better place, with no pain, playing and running in the Lord's shinning light.

Moose Mom
I'm glad Butch and Moose will be waiting for you when it is your time (a long time from now, I hope), and I'm glad your Majik brings you such love and licks your tears away. (I have a Mitts cat that does that too - isn't it amazing that they know to do that? It always brings a smile through the tears).

When we all first come here, we're almost positive we won't make it through the agony, but somehow the sharing and comfort of others here helps soften the pain. It's such a giving community, and all inspired by our blessed furbabies. I think in some way they guide us here, to find each other and help each other. They just keep giving.

I'm praying for better days for you, and I know Butch and Moose are too, and so many others. Take care - Barb

Hubby and I have been crying all weekend, and talking about our baby. He loved to he held and carried around like a baby, with his tummy being rubbed. Daddy would do that for him for hours. Who is carrying him now? We made fried chicken last night and he wasn't there for his share. No one yelling how long is this gonna take? I'm HUNGRY! No one sitting on the table, waiting for the serving plate so he could have first pick. First time I have had the courage to even try to make it, since he passed, it was hard to eat it. I guess I need to wait a little longer for that.

Renee

Gosh I love all the nicknames Smoky has already, it's funny how that happens. I call Majik, Punkin so often he's gonna think that's his name, lol. Punkin, Punkin Pie and Punkin Butt.

I think I need an orange cat, named well, Punkin! LOL.

Ramona

You are welcome for anything I may have said that gave you comfort.

Barb

I'm so happy you have Mitts! It is amazing, they are amazing. They make you smile when your heart is breaking. I agree our bridge babies guide us here. Somehow, with each others help, we do make it.

Love

We had a impatient, very vocal cat who loved chicken My husband misses not having him around while he is cooking up some chicken. Those memories come flooding back and hurt in simple moments like that.

Majik's middle name could be punkin... we had multiple middle names for Leo..and he answered to all of them

macgrl

It is the little things that get you, the big ones you can look forward too and prepare for. The nicknames we have for them...Moose thought anything with 'boy' on it was for him. It was of course, pretty boy, silly boy, buddy boy, lover boy, good boy, he would start to purr as soon as you said boy...

I'm happy you guys have the new one, they make you smile through your tears.

Love

Ah, Lori, my heart broke when I read about your tearful weekend with you and your husband. How well my husband and I can relate... What you said, when you asked "Who is carrying him now".... That's exactly the same thing I said, after picking Caesar up, time and again, when his arthritis in his hips made it so bad he couldn't even take a couple of steps without falling down, and forever picking him up, all hours of the night, all hours of the day... Who's going to pick him up, now, I remember saying and thinking, and it broke my heart. I remember looking at my husband after we said goodbye to our precious Caesar, and saying, "Who's going to pick him up now".

I five days, it will be three months. If only I could turn back the hands of time. Just once. I would give anything to have the honor of picking him up just once more.

Amarna

I guess the biggest question is, 'who is talking care of them now'? I keep saying it and my husband keeps telling me, he can take care of himself now. My head believes it, my heart doesn't I guess. I keep thinking of all the things he needed and wanted, everything we did, with joy, for him.

When we did his memorial I asked Pan to please carry him and rub his tummy sometimes. It's so hard to give them over into the Great Ones care. For comfort I read the chapter in 'The Wind In the Willows", 'The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn".

Blessed Be

Dear Lori ~~

I know what your husband means, that they are whole, again, and don't need us as they did when they weren't quite themselves, anymore. But especially soon after, after going nights and nights without sleep, keeping him on his feel long enough to do what he had to do, even to eat, to drink, etc, and when I no longer had to do that, my body must have been in some sort of shock. I was actually changing, physically. I was hardly eating and hardly getting any sleep. After he was gone, until very recently, I couldn't even sleep during the night because I was used to not sleeping. I only could think of, literally, who was going to pick him up, now. I would do it all again, for him. My baby.

I'm sure Pan is carrying Moose and rubbing his tummy! Pan loves animals and he, I'm sure, is frolicking in glen and glade with Moose. I bet your memorial for Moose was lovely. It's been four months for you? On the eighth of this month, it will be three months, for me. I just miss my furry keeshond-baby so much.... I will look for his face in the face of the Full Moon, tonight and tomorrow night.

Blessed be ~~