It's been four months now, and the hurt unfolds fresh every day. At first grieving was hard, I felt that I didn't deserve to hurt because I was the one who put my beloved Jake down. Maybe now the honest grief is here, maybe I will actually get through it, but as hour flows into hour I feel like all I am doing is getting through the hours from one endless day to another. It is inconceivable that I will ever feel anything good again without my Jake.
Does this ever get better?
Dawn
Full Version: My Boy Left
Dawn,
Grief really is a spiral, full of twists and turns, but ones that sooner or later get smoother to navigate. Even at almost 6 months after my own girl's (Nissa) crossing, most days I feel just like you do at 4 months.
The fact that you didn't really allow your grief to unfold near the beginning would play a role in your journey, just as my early and quite long period of shock and numbness did for me. Grief is patient, and will sit and wait for us to get down to the nitty-griity work of it, whether that be weeks, months, or for some, even years down the line. The sooner it is felt as deeply as possible, the sooner we can mend ourselves, but often that doesn't come quickly. Sometimes we can only allow tiny bits of the deepest feelings of sorrow in at one time.
But generally-speaking, even 4 months isn't long. The grief experts say that the average mourning period is anywhere from 2-5 years for any type of loss, depending on the individual, so you needn't feel like you're unusual if it seems to be dragging on and on. But I know it's so debilitating to feel so terrible every single day, for so long. Griefwork takes a LOT out of you.
We usually start by feeling tiny bits of pleasure from things again, here and there, sometimes so fleetingly that we don't even really notice it, until one day we're almost surprised to be feeling fairly normal...in our NEW normal mode. But the length of time this takes varies from one person to another. I know it's hard, in the meantime. I'm still in that state, too, but even impatience won't speed up this internal work, so we need to practise acceptance of our feelings, hour by hour, day by day, and give ourselves compassion and be as non-judgemental of ourselves and our grief as possible. I know it's hard, and I'm as sorry for you as I am for myself.
Grief really is a spiral, full of twists and turns, but ones that sooner or later get smoother to navigate. Even at almost 6 months after my own girl's (Nissa) crossing, most days I feel just like you do at 4 months.
The fact that you didn't really allow your grief to unfold near the beginning would play a role in your journey, just as my early and quite long period of shock and numbness did for me. Grief is patient, and will sit and wait for us to get down to the nitty-griity work of it, whether that be weeks, months, or for some, even years down the line. The sooner it is felt as deeply as possible, the sooner we can mend ourselves, but often that doesn't come quickly. Sometimes we can only allow tiny bits of the deepest feelings of sorrow in at one time.
But generally-speaking, even 4 months isn't long. The grief experts say that the average mourning period is anywhere from 2-5 years for any type of loss, depending on the individual, so you needn't feel like you're unusual if it seems to be dragging on and on. But I know it's so debilitating to feel so terrible every single day, for so long. Griefwork takes a LOT out of you.
We usually start by feeling tiny bits of pleasure from things again, here and there, sometimes so fleetingly that we don't even really notice it, until one day we're almost surprised to be feeling fairly normal...in our NEW normal mode. But the length of time this takes varies from one person to another. I know it's hard, in the meantime. I'm still in that state, too, but even impatience won't speed up this internal work, so we need to practise acceptance of our feelings, hour by hour, day by day, and give ourselves compassion and be as non-judgemental of ourselves and our grief as possible. I know it's hard, and I'm as sorry for you as I am for myself.
Dawn
I does get better, it can take a while. All you can do is take it day by day, or hour by hour. You know your feelings are different now than at first. Keep looking at how they are changing. It's four months for me also, I still cry every day. Just not all day like a first. Each little thing that seems better I try to hold onto. My Moose kitty's birthday was just 3 weeks after he died. I was thinking of how bad that day was, how bad the day he passed was, and I KNOW I'm doing better than that.
There is hope, love and joy in the world. You will find it again.
Blessed Be
I does get better, it can take a while. All you can do is take it day by day, or hour by hour. You know your feelings are different now than at first. Keep looking at how they are changing. It's four months for me also, I still cry every day. Just not all day like a first. Each little thing that seems better I try to hold onto. My Moose kitty's birthday was just 3 weeks after he died. I was thinking of how bad that day was, how bad the day he passed was, and I KNOW I'm doing better than that.
There is hope, love and joy in the world. You will find it again.
Blessed Be
Thank you for your kind and wise words. I just want to die and go be with my boy. I have had many close friends die, and I have never known a grief as deep as this. You all give me a little hope, though, that I will get through the grief some day. Your understanding means a lot to me. I think most people in my every day life feel like I should just get over it.
Someone suggested to me that I should write a letter to Jake. I think I will do that when I am ready to cry a lot, and burn it in some kind of ceremony. I have a picture of him on my altar, and I light candles and talk to him.
Dawn
Someone suggested to me that I should write a letter to Jake. I think I will do that when I am ready to cry a lot, and burn it in some kind of ceremony. I have a picture of him on my altar, and I light candles and talk to him.
Dawn
Dawn,
Yes, try whatever suggestions you like, and if those don't help, try other ones. We all have to find whatever happens to work for us, so it's often worth experimenting with all sorts of things and incorporating them as we see fit.....that's all part of the griefwork.
So, too, unfortunately, is that wanting nothing more than to just go and join our furkids. I felt that way for both Sabin and Nissa....but not when my Mum passed, despite the anguish of that loss, too. I consider it entirely natural to wish to be with my kids, over anyone else who's been in my life, because I'm a parent to them and parental feelings are among the strongest ones we can ever experience. Those who prefer others to 'get over' grief.....either haven't experienced a major loss, or are among those who can't even imagine grieving over a species other than their own.
So it might also help you to view the interviews I'd just posted HERE , in another forum. There are 3 newsclips on pet loss to listen to that will help you see that what you're feeling is not unusual at all after losing a beloved furkchild. Not unusual, but just not as widely recognized as it should be yet. This newscast may help with that, though! You might even want to check out Marty Tousley's many articles and books.....she's a good resource for pet loss and even offers an e-course on it that's inexpensive. (see Healing Expressions website for the course, or her main website, Grief Healing for that and other articles and resources for pet loss)
The picture, candles and talking to Jake are all good things to start with and to continue for as long as you want. I, too, light candles for my Nissa every night I'm home, talk to her some thru the day (tho not nearly as much as when she was here to reply, or to start a conversation herself), kiss her pictures every night, and think about her almost every second, in one way or another. We've also been busy scanning into our computer every single pic we've ever had of our kids...even the ones I hadn't kept prints of, cuz now we can use Photoshop to improve them some.
Yes, try whatever suggestions you like, and if those don't help, try other ones. We all have to find whatever happens to work for us, so it's often worth experimenting with all sorts of things and incorporating them as we see fit.....that's all part of the griefwork.
So, too, unfortunately, is that wanting nothing more than to just go and join our furkids. I felt that way for both Sabin and Nissa....but not when my Mum passed, despite the anguish of that loss, too. I consider it entirely natural to wish to be with my kids, over anyone else who's been in my life, because I'm a parent to them and parental feelings are among the strongest ones we can ever experience. Those who prefer others to 'get over' grief.....either haven't experienced a major loss, or are among those who can't even imagine grieving over a species other than their own.
So it might also help you to view the interviews I'd just posted HERE , in another forum. There are 3 newsclips on pet loss to listen to that will help you see that what you're feeling is not unusual at all after losing a beloved furkchild. Not unusual, but just not as widely recognized as it should be yet. This newscast may help with that, though! You might even want to check out Marty Tousley's many articles and books.....she's a good resource for pet loss and even offers an e-course on it that's inexpensive. (see Healing Expressions website for the course, or her main website, Grief Healing for that and other articles and resources for pet loss)
The picture, candles and talking to Jake are all good things to start with and to continue for as long as you want. I, too, light candles for my Nissa every night I'm home, talk to her some thru the day (tho not nearly as much as when she was here to reply, or to start a conversation herself), kiss her pictures every night, and think about her almost every second, in one way or another. We've also been busy scanning into our computer every single pic we've ever had of our kids...even the ones I hadn't kept prints of, cuz now we can use Photoshop to improve them some.
Dear Dawn ~~
I totally understand what you mean about wanting to see Jake again, in the next life. I often think about this same thing, with my Caesar. It's funny, but sometimes, when my mind is in some sort of alpha state, for just a second, I see places... places I've never been to, before. Beautiful places, places I feel I've always known, and there is Caesar. So many words it just took to describe a split-second vision. I don't know if anyone else ever experienced this or not, but it's so beautiful. Like you, I have known the passing of loved ones before, but nothing compares to what I'm feeling now. After 16 years with my Caesar, I simply can't even remember what kind of person I was before that. And now, I feel like I'm a different person, again. Not worse. Not better. Just sadder. Different. The innocent way of looking at life is gone, if that makes sense. I'm heading into five decades old, and now I realize that my Caesar made me feel like a little girl. He was my first pet I ever had.
What you said about putting a picture of Jake on your altar, I also have on my altar a picture of Caesar, and the Yuletide tag of a present that he helped my husband find for me, when he left two weeks before that. I also light candles and just talk to him. Blue candles to symbolize the water his breed loves so much. I talk all the time to him. Sometimes, pouring out all my grief, and other times, I talk to him just like he was still here, even in a carefree way just like I always used to do. About writing a letter to Jake, do that! I think that's an excellent idea, and then burning it, allowing the ashes to drift on the winds to where he is.... I wrote a letter to my Caesar, before we laid him to rest, and then put it with him, along with a pink rose quartz crystal for love. I could have sent him on his journey with a host of things, but love was all I could handle, at the time. Love conquers all. I believe that now, more than ever before. Write the letter... the words on paper do help. The Moon is waxing. Allow this time of growth to take your feelings and love to him. *Thinking of you.... blessed be*
I totally understand what you mean about wanting to see Jake again, in the next life. I often think about this same thing, with my Caesar. It's funny, but sometimes, when my mind is in some sort of alpha state, for just a second, I see places... places I've never been to, before. Beautiful places, places I feel I've always known, and there is Caesar. So many words it just took to describe a split-second vision. I don't know if anyone else ever experienced this or not, but it's so beautiful. Like you, I have known the passing of loved ones before, but nothing compares to what I'm feeling now. After 16 years with my Caesar, I simply can't even remember what kind of person I was before that. And now, I feel like I'm a different person, again. Not worse. Not better. Just sadder. Different. The innocent way of looking at life is gone, if that makes sense. I'm heading into five decades old, and now I realize that my Caesar made me feel like a little girl. He was my first pet I ever had.
What you said about putting a picture of Jake on your altar, I also have on my altar a picture of Caesar, and the Yuletide tag of a present that he helped my husband find for me, when he left two weeks before that. I also light candles and just talk to him. Blue candles to symbolize the water his breed loves so much. I talk all the time to him. Sometimes, pouring out all my grief, and other times, I talk to him just like he was still here, even in a carefree way just like I always used to do. About writing a letter to Jake, do that! I think that's an excellent idea, and then burning it, allowing the ashes to drift on the winds to where he is.... I wrote a letter to my Caesar, before we laid him to rest, and then put it with him, along with a pink rose quartz crystal for love. I could have sent him on his journey with a host of things, but love was all I could handle, at the time. Love conquers all. I believe that now, more than ever before. Write the letter... the words on paper do help. The Moon is waxing. Allow this time of growth to take your feelings and love to him. *Thinking of you.... blessed be*
QUOTE (Amarna @ Feb 22 2007, 02:13 PM)
The innocent way of looking at life is gone, if that makes sense. I'm heading into five decades old, and now I realize that my Caesar made me feel like a little girl.
....along with a pink rose quartz crystal for love.
....along with a pink rose quartz crystal for love.
Amarna,
This is me, too, although that innocence was lost to me after Sabin crossed, before Nissa. That alone was gut-wrenching. Though I'd loved hugely and lost 2 budgies in my youth, as an adult, the loss of the vestiges of that innocence was even harder to take. And of course, it's never returned since.
My kids, too, kept the youth in me alive. While I know that it was always an inherent part of who I happen to be, they brought it out and helped it SHINE! I feel terribly old now, in so many ways (I'm around your age, too), so it's like losing yet another part of me as well. But this, I feel, WILL most likely return at some point, unlike the innocence....but I don't know who I'll be able to share it with now. And if it doesn't return....oh well, I guess I'll just 'die' younger, and see my kids that much sooner. So far, I don't really care if that happens, except for the suffering beforehand.
I LOVE the idea of the rose quartz crystal! Thank you for that! I'd also been using crystals for both me and Nissa, and rose crystal was always top of the list, for exactly the same reason - LOVE. Since I have one for her and another for myself, I'll now be adding that to the list of things to go with her when we bury her body in the spring. And I'll request of my H to add MY crystal to my cremation when it's my time...sort of like those 2-part rings that join together to make one that some people get as couples.
Another thing people can do with letters is to stuff them inside helium balloons and release them to the skies....but not with strings attached, as these can actually harm other animals or birds wherever they eventually land.
Thank you for the resouces, Furkidlets mom. And yes, dying young does sound good sometimes. It just gets to be too hard. It is comforting to me to be at the halfway mark. I hope.
What beautiful imagery, Amarna. I think I'll put a cobalt blue bottle on my altar. Jake loved the water. One of his favorite things to do was stand in his kiddie pool and pee. My partner called it his youra-peein-spa. I am going to try and attach a pic of him taking the pool down...he was so proud of himself.
Dawn
What beautiful imagery, Amarna. I think I'll put a cobalt blue bottle on my altar. Jake loved the water. One of his favorite things to do was stand in his kiddie pool and pee. My partner called it his youra-peein-spa. I am going to try and attach a pic of him taking the pool down...he was so proud of himself.
Dawn
A cool thing to do with ashes is to mix some with potting soil when you plant a tree. That way it is his tree, he grows in it.
Dawn,
I'm probably already PAST the halfway mark, so that's even better!
What a great pic!
"RRRRRrrrrrrrr!!!!".... GET that pool!! Get it GOOD, Jake!! Thank goodness for cameras, eh?
Despite having a pretty hard day, I laughed my head off at your partner's very clever wordplay!! "Youra-peein-spa" indeed!!
Thanks for sharing that, and please thank him, too, just for coming up with it! Good thought about the ashes, too. That's comforting.
I'm probably already PAST the halfway mark, so that's even better!
What a great pic!
"RRRRRrrrrrrrr!!!!".... GET that pool!! Get it GOOD, Jake!! Thank goodness for cameras, eh?Despite having a pretty hard day, I laughed my head off at your partner's very clever wordplay!! "Youra-peein-spa" indeed!!
Thanks for sharing that, and please thank him, too, just for coming up with it! Good thought about the ashes, too. That's comforting.
Goes to show how much we love them. "Oh look Honey, he is tearing down the $200.00 pool. Isn't that cute? Get the camera!
Dear Dawn-
Others have given you such kind, loving and wise counsel. I, like you, did not feel I could go on when I lost my first precious baby in 1999. People thought I was crazy. Life just did not seem worth living. But slowly it started to turn around, due primarily from the love my little girl Missy gave me. She and I grieved our loss of Bagel and helped each other. Also reading articles and books on the loss of a pet. I read that many times the grief from the loss of a beloved pet is deeper than that of the loss of s person.
My tradition has been to plant a garden in honor of my lost furbaby. It was very healing to dig in the earth and plant flowers that attracted hummingbirds and butterflies. I kept a part of their ashes and buried them in their garden.
Keep doing things that soothe your soul. When I could think of my boys (Bagel and Seymour) with a smile and a warm feeling I knew the healing was beginning. Now I will be going through the same process for Missy.
Bless you, be gentle with yourself and know that there are many of us who understand your sadness.
Lisa
Others have given you such kind, loving and wise counsel. I, like you, did not feel I could go on when I lost my first precious baby in 1999. People thought I was crazy. Life just did not seem worth living. But slowly it started to turn around, due primarily from the love my little girl Missy gave me. She and I grieved our loss of Bagel and helped each other. Also reading articles and books on the loss of a pet. I read that many times the grief from the loss of a beloved pet is deeper than that of the loss of s person.
My tradition has been to plant a garden in honor of my lost furbaby. It was very healing to dig in the earth and plant flowers that attracted hummingbirds and butterflies. I kept a part of their ashes and buried them in their garden.
Keep doing things that soothe your soul. When I could think of my boys (Bagel and Seymour) with a smile and a warm feeling I knew the healing was beginning. Now I will be going through the same process for Missy.
Bless you, be gentle with yourself and know that there are many of us who understand your sadness.
Lisa
Dear Dawn ~~
I'm enjoying your thread, here! Thanks for sharing your pictures of Jake! I love the pool picture! Looks like he did a mighty good job on taking down that pool! I'm going to try to post a picture here, of Caesar, in our pool. He absolutely loved being in the pool, (keeshondon [plural for "keehsond"] are Dutch barge dogs, bred to be on the water in Holland to guard the barges there), so he considered being on his raft as part of his job. He took it very seriously and would often launch himself on his raft if we weren't quick enough! I just hope I sized the picture, correctly. I love the idea of a cobalt blue bottle on your altar, for Jake. Jakes eyes are the most beautiful blue! And his coloring, with a bit of a mask. Is he part huskey? He's gorgeous.
Furkidlet's Mom, I surely know what you mean about feeling "old", now. Physically and mentally. This is the snowy season. We have snow on the ground, now. I always enjoyed snow. But now, I can't even see that glitter that seems to go with snow so well. The glitter is gone.
As for the rose quartz, you now gave *me* an idea. I never thought of having the partner to Caesar's rose quartz crystal go along with me, when it's my time. What a lovely idea.... Thanks! And I will have to talk to my husband about this, as I know he'll also be receptive to the idea, when it's his time. You started something, Furkidlets! : )
Caesar now would like to say "Hello", in his own Caesar-pup way, to everyone here.. : )
I'm enjoying your thread, here! Thanks for sharing your pictures of Jake! I love the pool picture! Looks like he did a mighty good job on taking down that pool! I'm going to try to post a picture here, of Caesar, in our pool. He absolutely loved being in the pool, (keeshondon [plural for "keehsond"] are Dutch barge dogs, bred to be on the water in Holland to guard the barges there), so he considered being on his raft as part of his job. He took it very seriously and would often launch himself on his raft if we weren't quick enough! I just hope I sized the picture, correctly. I love the idea of a cobalt blue bottle on your altar, for Jake. Jakes eyes are the most beautiful blue! And his coloring, with a bit of a mask. Is he part huskey? He's gorgeous.
Furkidlet's Mom, I surely know what you mean about feeling "old", now. Physically and mentally. This is the snowy season. We have snow on the ground, now. I always enjoyed snow. But now, I can't even see that glitter that seems to go with snow so well. The glitter is gone.
As for the rose quartz, you now gave *me* an idea. I never thought of having the partner to Caesar's rose quartz crystal go along with me, when it's my time. What a lovely idea.... Thanks! And I will have to talk to my husband about this, as I know he'll also be receptive to the idea, when it's his time. You started something, Furkidlets! : )
Caesar now would like to say "Hello", in his own Caesar-pup way, to everyone here.. : )
Yikes....that was way too big...I apologize! *splash*!!
What a beautiful picture of your boy! You can feel his joy coming through the picture.
Jakey did have a great time taking down the pool. He was oh so very impressed with himself.
I don't know what breeds he had in him. His mom was a wild dog, she was shot by a farmer when she killed a chicken to feed her pups. I suspect he had a little wolf in him.
I want to thank you for your comforting words, and your stories. They have soothed me. And thank you for commenting on my picture. I can do one of Caesar, if you like.
Jakey did have a great time taking down the pool. He was oh so very impressed with himself.
I don't know what breeds he had in him. His mom was a wild dog, she was shot by a farmer when she killed a chicken to feed her pups. I suspect he had a little wolf in him.
I want to thank you for your comforting words, and your stories. They have soothed me. And thank you for commenting on my picture. I can do one of Caesar, if you like.
Dawn
What a great picture of Jake 'talking down the pool" that and "youra-peein-spa" made me laugh. I treasure the times I can laugh so, thanks. Yes we don't care how much it cost, as long as it's making our kids happy.
We have a statue of Bast on our altar for Moosie. Sometimes it gives me comfort to think of him with Her.
Amarna
Oh what a great picture. Hello right back at you Caesar-pup!
Blessed Be
What a great picture of Jake 'talking down the pool" that and "youra-peein-spa" made me laugh. I treasure the times I can laugh so, thanks. Yes we don't care how much it cost, as long as it's making our kids happy.
We have a statue of Bast on our altar for Moosie. Sometimes it gives me comfort to think of him with Her.
Amarna
Oh what a great picture. Hello right back at you Caesar-pup!
Blessed Be
Thanks Moose Mom. I'm glad Jake is still making people laugh.
I had to write after seeing Jake's photo....he looks like such a sweet soul. What a beautiful boy.
I hope you're hanging in there....my thoughts are with you.
I hope you're hanging in there....my thoughts are with you.
Thanks M&M's Mom. This forum and people like you have helped trmendously...I don't feel so alone in my grief.
Dawn ~~
Aww, I was so sorry to hear about Jake's mom. She must have been a beauty, as well! Yup, I can see why you suspect that Jake has some wolf in him. Caesar's brother, (whom we rescued from a shelter), is not pure keeshond like Caesar, but half wolf. That's why I was curious about Jake's breed. He definitely has that wolf quality, as well.
That's very kind of you to offer to do a picture of Caesar for me! I would *love* it, but please don't go to any trouble. What a sweet thought!! : )
You bet Jake is still making people smile. As soon as I saw the picture of him, I smiled and thought what a lovely doggie! You feel the same way as we always felt with Caesar. He always made people smile, whenever we had him out with us, or when people visited us. Everyone who knows my husband and I, also knows our Caesar. Do you have any pictures of Jake when he was a pup? I'll try to find one of Caesar when he was a pup, to post here. It's funny, but we often called Caesar, "Caesar-pup", all through his 16 years, because he always had what we called, "Puppi-tude". He never grew out of that pup-faced look, if you know what I mean. Was Jake that way, too? He seems like an adorable pup-face, in your photos of him!
Lori ~~
I think it's a lovely idea to have a statue of Bast on your altar for your Moosie. I know he's in Bast's loving arms, and appreciating your spiritual tribute to him. It must be a very beautiful and meaningful altar display, indeed.
I have to say that I have truely enjoyed this particular thread. Thank you, Dawn, Lori, and everyone else, here. The tears for me at visiting this site are finally starting to have a bit of serious compet*ition with more than a few smiles. And for that, I say thanks....
Blessed Be
Aww, I was so sorry to hear about Jake's mom. She must have been a beauty, as well! Yup, I can see why you suspect that Jake has some wolf in him. Caesar's brother, (whom we rescued from a shelter), is not pure keeshond like Caesar, but half wolf. That's why I was curious about Jake's breed. He definitely has that wolf quality, as well.
That's very kind of you to offer to do a picture of Caesar for me! I would *love* it, but please don't go to any trouble. What a sweet thought!! : )
You bet Jake is still making people smile. As soon as I saw the picture of him, I smiled and thought what a lovely doggie! You feel the same way as we always felt with Caesar. He always made people smile, whenever we had him out with us, or when people visited us. Everyone who knows my husband and I, also knows our Caesar. Do you have any pictures of Jake when he was a pup? I'll try to find one of Caesar when he was a pup, to post here. It's funny, but we often called Caesar, "Caesar-pup", all through his 16 years, because he always had what we called, "Puppi-tude". He never grew out of that pup-faced look, if you know what I mean. Was Jake that way, too? He seems like an adorable pup-face, in your photos of him!
Lori ~~
I think it's a lovely idea to have a statue of Bast on your altar for your Moosie. I know he's in Bast's loving arms, and appreciating your spiritual tribute to him. It must be a very beautiful and meaningful altar display, indeed.
I have to say that I have truely enjoyed this particular thread. Thank you, Dawn, Lori, and everyone else, here. The tears for me at visiting this site are finally starting to have a bit of serious compet*ition with more than a few smiles. And for that, I say thanks....
Blessed Be
Jake was a big goofy pup who loved to make people laugh. When we were housebreaking him and it was raining outside he used to stick his front two feet outside and pee in the house with his back half. I would always bust up laughing and he would turn around and give me a big smile.
Send a pic of Ceasar to allfiredup@outglass.com.
Here is Jake as a pup:
Send a pic of Ceasar to allfiredup@outglass.com.
Here is Jake as a pup:
He is precious! Those eyes...
Dawn
Oh Jake was the most darling puppy! I can tell he was a goofy pup who never really grew up.
I love the housebreaking story, I had a big cat that would stand with his front end in the litter box and pee on the carpet. I guess it would have made many people mad, but he was so close to where he was supposed to be, and it was so funny, it just made me laugh.
Amarna
I'm so happy to hear that you can smile, even laugh now. I know some days you can't, but when you see that you know you are going to make it. I'm there too. You know this is how your Caesar would want you to be. You are very welcome for anything I might have said that made you feel some comfort.
Blessed Be
Oh Jake was the most darling puppy! I can tell he was a goofy pup who never really grew up.
I love the housebreaking story, I had a big cat that would stand with his front end in the litter box and pee on the carpet. I guess it would have made many people mad, but he was so close to where he was supposed to be, and it was so funny, it just made me laugh.
Amarna
I'm so happy to hear that you can smile, even laugh now. I know some days you can't, but when you see that you know you are going to make it. I'm there too. You know this is how your Caesar would want you to be. You are very welcome for anything I might have said that made you feel some comfort.
Blessed Be
I like it that we can tell funny pee stories. Our kids want us to laugh, I'm sure.
dawn
i just realised i never did say how sorry i was that you lost jakey. i might add though i was looking at the picture above with (i assume is you)you and actually said out loud what a beautiful pup.. so much that my dh had to take a look.. those eyes...the bluest i have ever seen.. he is so beautiful.
im glad you found us here.. sometimes in my "off" days i get really down and then i think of everyone here and how kind and nice and loving they are and i feel comforted by it. just want you to know i am and(we here) are always here for you anytime you need us . we will laugh with you, cry with you and give a nice warm shoulder to lean on.
i love the pee story.. he sounded like my boy coco who took a year to "get it" not to pee in the house..funny though he always went into the bathroom to pee on the floor..he got it though took time but he got it..
take care and give yourself time to heal..
luv michelle <3
i just realised i never did say how sorry i was that you lost jakey. i might add though i was looking at the picture above with (i assume is you)you and actually said out loud what a beautiful pup.. so much that my dh had to take a look.. those eyes...the bluest i have ever seen.. he is so beautiful.
im glad you found us here.. sometimes in my "off" days i get really down and then i think of everyone here and how kind and nice and loving they are and i feel comforted by it. just want you to know i am and(we here) are always here for you anytime you need us . we will laugh with you, cry with you and give a nice warm shoulder to lean on.
i love the pee story.. he sounded like my boy coco who took a year to "get it" not to pee in the house..funny though he always went into the bathroom to pee on the floor..he got it though took time but he got it..
take care and give yourself time to heal..
luv michelle <3
Dawn ~~
Thanks for posting the picture of little Jake! What an adorable pup he was, indeed. Makes you want to go up and pet that little head and kiss that little muzzle! He was such a cutie! Those sky-blue eyes of his are amazing.
Thanks for offering to make me a special picture of Caesar! I'll send you a picture of him, real soon. I so appreciate the offer. : ) I'll try to post a picture of Caesar when he was a pup at nine weeks old...if I can figure out how to do it, again. : ) I just don't seem to be able to post a picture without having it come out way too big. So I apologize, in advance, if that happens, again!
Moose Mom ~~
You are so right about the smiling part. Our beloved pets on this site do indeed make me smile. Not only for them, but the fact that they received so much love in their lives from their parents who love and miss them so.
Thanks for posting the picture of little Jake! What an adorable pup he was, indeed. Makes you want to go up and pet that little head and kiss that little muzzle! He was such a cutie! Those sky-blue eyes of his are amazing.
Thanks for offering to make me a special picture of Caesar! I'll send you a picture of him, real soon. I so appreciate the offer. : ) I'll try to post a picture of Caesar when he was a pup at nine weeks old...if I can figure out how to do it, again. : ) I just don't seem to be able to post a picture without having it come out way too big. So I apologize, in advance, if that happens, again!
Moose Mom ~~
You are so right about the smiling part. Our beloved pets on this site do indeed make me smile. Not only for them, but the fact that they received so much love in their lives from their parents who love and miss them so.
Amarna...give me your email address!
Amarna
Oh while the adult Caesar was so regal and handsome, the puppy Caesar was just too cute! Look at the little face! What eyes he had. Just beautiful.
Blessed Be
Oh while the adult Caesar was so regal and handsome, the puppy Caesar was just too cute! Look at the little face! What eyes he had. Just beautiful.
Blessed Be
Dear Lori ~~
Aww, thanks for those words about my Caesar-pup. It's funny, but I have noticed that when someone says something kind about our babies, it's almost like... I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this or not, but it's like they are visiting us again, in some strange way... like they are still giving back what they gave so well. Making people smile, and making their owners proud, yet once again....And bringing together those who are hurting, to make it all just a bit more bearable.
Dawn ~~
I'm really enjoying those beautiful pictures you made for me! But for the life of me, I can't seem to figure out how to apply them to my signiture. I must be over looking something.
Aww, thanks for those words about my Caesar-pup. It's funny, but I have noticed that when someone says something kind about our babies, it's almost like... I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this or not, but it's like they are visiting us again, in some strange way... like they are still giving back what they gave so well. Making people smile, and making their owners proud, yet once again....And bringing together those who are hurting, to make it all just a bit more bearable.
Dawn ~~
I'm really enjoying those beautiful pictures you made for me! But for the life of me, I can't seem to figure out how to apply them to my signiture. I must be over looking something.
Amarna,
You've hit the nail on the head there. Yes, the joy and the pride.....they're immediately there, making us feel like so are our beautiful kids. You put it well.
Your boy was so adorable as a puppy, I can hardly speak! OMG, what a cutie-pie! (not that he lost this 'charm' when grown, either!) That look of innocence (why babies of all sorts are so universally loved so much) just leaps out at you from his picture....priceless.
And Dawn, Jake was just as adorable, too! It's always so easy to see what was so loveable in our kids once we start to see pics of them, being themselves, emitting their essences thru those pics. His eyes truly are remarkable....but then, so is his soul.
You've hit the nail on the head there. Yes, the joy and the pride.....they're immediately there, making us feel like so are our beautiful kids. You put it well.
Your boy was so adorable as a puppy, I can hardly speak! OMG, what a cutie-pie! (not that he lost this 'charm' when grown, either!) That look of innocence (why babies of all sorts are so universally loved so much) just leaps out at you from his picture....priceless.
And Dawn, Jake was just as adorable, too! It's always so easy to see what was so loveable in our kids once we start to see pics of them, being themselves, emitting their essences thru those pics. His eyes truly are remarkable....but then, so is his soul.
Amarna
I agree with Furkidlets' Mom, you did say that very well. While they were alive we were so proud of them. You are not the only one who feels that way, when someone says something kind about them we feel that feeling again. It's a good feeling that proud, happy feeling.
Moosie was a clown, like Jake he loved to make people laugh. We were so proud of how he looked, his little mustache was so precious to us. We were proud of his demanding ways, the way he always acted like a king. Maybe it's silly, we didn't have anything to do with how he looked or how he was, it was all just him. He was a most beautiful boy, I told him that everyday. Oh buddy I miss you so much, daddy is so sad without you.
They do help to bring us together, it helps to be able to talk about them. I think they gave us some help from where they are to find this place.
Blessed Be
QUOTE
It's funny, but I have noticed that when someone says something kind about our babies, it's almost like... I don't know if I'm the only one feeling this or not, but it's like they are visiting us again, in some strange way... like they are still giving back what they gave so well. Making people smile, and making their owners proud, yet once again....And bringing together those who are hurting, to make it all just a bit more bearable.
I agree with Furkidlets' Mom, you did say that very well. While they were alive we were so proud of them. You are not the only one who feels that way, when someone says something kind about them we feel that feeling again. It's a good feeling that proud, happy feeling.
Moosie was a clown, like Jake he loved to make people laugh. We were so proud of how he looked, his little mustache was so precious to us. We were proud of his demanding ways, the way he always acted like a king. Maybe it's silly, we didn't have anything to do with how he looked or how he was, it was all just him. He was a most beautiful boy, I told him that everyday. Oh buddy I miss you so much, daddy is so sad without you.
They do help to bring us together, it helps to be able to talk about them. I think they gave us some help from where they are to find this place.
Blessed Be
Lori and Furkidlet's Mom, I have to thank you for that! You don't know how close I came to deleting that message because I felt like I was rambling, not finding the right words to convey what I was feeling. So many times, I want to write something to someone on the boards, I'm so moved to do so, but during this time, I can't always seem to find the right words. So I either delete what I wrote, or simply move on. I don't know how I would have coped without this site and everyone here.
I want to thank Jake's mommy, Dawn, for creating this lovely banner for my Caesar!
And Moose Mom... about saying Moosie "always acted like a king"... Why do you think he was only "acting"?
Blessings
I want to thank Jake's mommy, Dawn, for creating this lovely banner for my Caesar!
And Moose Mom... about saying Moosie "always acted like a king"... Why do you think he was only "acting"?
Blessings
Amarna
LOL you are so right, I said that wrong. I should have said "being a king' sometimes I think he used the Royal 'Us". He was very much king of the house and king of our hearts.
Blessed Be
QUOTE
about saying Moosie "always acted like a king"... Why do you think he was only "acting"?
LOL you are so right, I said that wrong. I should have said "being a king' sometimes I think he used the Royal 'Us". He was very much king of the house and king of our hearts.
Blessed Be
Lori, you bet cha! : )
(What you said about being "King of your Heart". That's what I always say about Caesar. "King of my Heart". We named him well, heh.)
(What you said about being "King of your Heart". That's what I always say about Caesar. "King of my Heart". We named him well, heh.)
Cool thinking that all of their essances may be playing together and loving us though this sight, loving all if the energy we put into them
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