Last night my cat Ralphie crawled into the dryer. He has never done this before. I started the dryer and did not realize he was in it. I heard a noise like tennis shoes but I didn't realize for twenty minutes that it was my baby in there. When I did realize that I hadn't seen Ralphie in a while I got such a sick feeling in my stomach. I pulled him out and I thought I heard him make a sound. He was hot and limp. I tried to listen for a heartbeat and I thought I heard one but I think it was my own. I tried to give him CPR all the way to the emergency hospital but he never woke up. His skin was bright red. The vet said his neck had been broken and I hope that means he didn't suffer but I cannot deal with the fact that I killed Ralphie. He was a sweet and loyal boy for ten years. I don't know how to get through this.

Dear Denise:

Please, realize that this wasn't your fault.
It was an accident!!

I am so very sorry, really that this has happened.

Ralphie..... you & he shared a very special love for 10 years-
Nothing will ever take all your happy memories away!!

Please remember that.... It was an accident...
You did not kill him!

My sister-in-law had this same tragedy happen when she was doing laundry.
Their kitten just happened to crawl in, and she didn't know it....
She did go through a lot of grief, and it took some time for her to feel "better".

But, please, Ralphie is at Rainbow's Bridge right now....
I will say a prayer to my Ernie-Bird, that she welcome Ralphie, and show him around.

By now, I'm sure, she has earned her "Angel wings".....
(she's been there for just over four months, now)..

Please, come here often, read.....write..... Do it all!
It's the only place that has helped me, really.

You will be going through a very tough time, no doubt about that......
And, I hope you will KNOW IN YOUR HEART, that IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT..
Accidents happen, and that's exactly what this was....

I will light a candle for your Ralphie, and also for all the other furbabies who have
departed this EARTH life, to go on to a better life.....

Please, be kind to yourself, Okay??

God Bless you!!
Love, Denise

Thank you so much for reading my message and responding. I really appreciate it. My husband had to go to work today and I have been home alone with my five month old daughter. I have been trying not to cry in front of her but I ahven't been very successful. I am so sorry to hear about your Ernestine and your sister-in-law's kitten. It is so hard to get usedto the reality that I will never see him again and that he must have suffered so much and been so afraid because of something I did. I took him away from his brother and sister, too. I will try to keep writing as it has been one of the only things that has made me feel any better. Thank you and bless you for that.

Denise,

I am so sorry!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror... and the excruciating pain you are feeling.

As Denise said, what happened was a mistake. We all make mistakes--every single day, each one of us. Most of them don't amount to anything major, but certain ones turn out to have heartbreaking consequences, as in your situation. But Ralphie knows your love for her and that what happened was a mistake. Her pain is over; she is feeling absolute bliss from now on (and it's so blissful where she is that even those who have left families behind don't want to come back). There is no physical or emotional pain at all.

The only pain now is what YOU are dealing with. Your kitty knows that your soul will be here in your body for some time to come, and she wants you to be ok and to eventually be able to move on from this tragedy, because you have a life ahead of you. Remember that love is a 2-way street and that her love for you means that she wants the best for you. Ralphie would not want for you to torture yourself. If the roles had been reversed and she had made the mistake that ended your life, you would not want her to suffer. You'd know she had just made a mistake. And you'd know that making a mistake doesn't erase the love that's there. You'd want her to be comforted and to be okay, not to be paralyzed with grief and guilt. As time goes on, when you start to be able to smile again, Ralphie will be smiling too.

Speaking of mistakes, a woman I had grown up with was killed 2 months ago in a car wreck because another driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and his truck had drifted across into her lane. His mistake killed a 42-year-old woman, leaving her boys motherless. I hear that he is having just an awful awful time of it. He is only human, and he made a mistake. As tragic and horrible as these things are, they are still mistakes, and a certain percentage of the mistakes we make will turn out to have devastating consequences.

I am so sorry for your loss! Please keep coming to this group, and write any time.

With heartfelt support and love,

Kathy

Dear Denise,

I am so sorry about your loss. Please don't blame yourself. The shock and pain you are feeling are coming through in your post. Please take care of yourself and let yourself grieve, and, in time, heal.

Denise, Kathy, and Steph,

Thank you so much for your replies. My husband and my mother have been trying to comfort me but they don't really know what to say. I am sorry that you all have gone through similar losses but your words have made me feel somewhat better (no small feat after twenty-four hours of crying). Thank you all.

Denise B

I am attaching the link to an album with pictures of my cats, dogs, and rabbit. Ralphie is the black cat:

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=jrbtydz.14tat...f&x=0&y=-4ewwjf

Dear Denise:

The crying will continue for a long while.....and, sometimes when you think things are getting better,
the tears start flowing again.....

But, believe it or not, (please, believe it).....at some point, your tears will be replaced with smiles
and laughter over the happy times that you & your Ralphie shared.......

By the way, HE WAS A VERY HANDSOME BOY............

I looked at your whole album, you & your husband have a beautiful "fur-family"!!!!!

God Bless you All!!!!

You're in my thoughts & prayers....

Love, Denise J.

Denise, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. But as the others say, it WAS an accident. I know that you feel terriable and hurt, if there was something that I could do to take away your pain believe me I would. My Mantha kitty does the same thing and I always have to drag her out of the dryer. She also loves the washer. When I open it and start the water going she's right up there to play with the water, so I have to watch that she don't get in the washer, she's not affraid of water. I'll say a prayer for you and Ralphie tonight.

Dear Denise,

I am so sorry about Ralphie, He is a beautiful cat. I saw your story on another website and it just broke my heart. I have been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my wonderful cat, Solas, on Thursday June 10th after 16 years together. He and Ralphie could be brothers, they look so similar.

I have two children, ages 6 and 4 and I wondered about letting them see me cry too. When I get going, I really lose it and start sobbing. I don't want to frighten them, so I tend to do it while they are away at camp or in bed. I hope you find a safe place to let your tears flow, because they need to come out.

And though your heart is in so much pain right now, I want you to know the good that you have done by sharing your story. I never would have thought to look in a dryer before starting it, but I will now, and I'm sure many other people will too. We still have an inquisitive kitten in the house. You may have just saved his life. Earlier today I closed my dryer door and thought of you and the pain you are going through. So I'm sending you a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Let's light a candle for Ralphie and Solas up there at the Bridge.

Ariel

Denise,

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to Ralphie. Like EVERYONE else has said, it was an accident. You did not mean to do it. I realize you know that, but that probably doesn't alleviate your bad feelings right now. This is something that in time you will be able to accept, I believe. For the time being, you will just have to acknowledge your feelings and feel the grief and sadness because you are HURTING so much, I know. But you are not the first person nor will you be the last who has accidentally done something like that. You are human. We do the best we can do. You would never have intentionally hurt Ralphie. Remember that. Mistakes and accidents happen and there's just nothing we can do.

When you are ready, you might want to order a book called "Saying Good-Bye To The Pet You Love." It has lots of stories dealing with grief, guilt, "Horrible Images," Terrible Thoughts," etc. Know that you are not alone. You are not alone in your grief or your feelings of guilt. Please, please try not to be hard on yourself. Just keep remembering you loved Ralphie and it was an accident.

I am so sorry. I know this will hurt an awful lot for awhile. Keep posting here. You are safe to say whatever is on your mind. We will be here.

How are you doing today?

Hi everybody,

I want to say thank you again to all of you for your postings, emails, and prayers. You have helped me so much when no one else knew what to say. I am so sorry that all of you had to lose your babies but I am grateful for the compassion you have shared with me.

Last night was rough. I ended up calling my mom at 2:30 am and she kept me on the phone for about a half an hour. After that I was somehow able to fall asleep until 6:30 am. I don't remember dreaming about Ralphie but somehow I felt like he had been with me during the night. When my father died in December 2002, my sister told me that sometimes we can feel our loved ones around us at night because we are more open to them then. I woke up feeling much more at peace this morning and I am thankful for that. I am still so very sad but I was able to get through the day. I even distracted myself for a while by playing dress-up with my daughter Nicole. (I am attaching my NEW favorite picture of her!)

Again, thank you so much for listening and for your prayers and suggestions. You are all so wonderful.

First let me say how sorry I was to read your post. What an awful tragedy. How comforting it must be to feel Ralphie's presence with you. Secondly, your daughter is absolutely beautiful! What a sweet face! I have a young daughter as well and feel as though she is helping me go on after the death of our dog, Jordan. At first it was unbearable. I felt as though I couldn't be a good mom for a few days because I was so incredibly sad and needed to just cry and miss my boy. But, I know that by talking about Jordan's passing and crying in front of her that we were helping our daughter learn that grieving is a natural and important part of life. So, good luck to you and know that you are not alone. Take good care of yourself.
Love,
Jordan's mom

Hi Denise,

Let me start by saying what a beauty Nicole is! She must bring you so much joy.

I have been thinking of you and telling other people of your story in hopes that Ralphie can save some other poor kittie. How are you doing? I feel conected b/c we lost our pet about the same time. Solas, my cat, died on 6/10. It is hard, but it seems to be getting better. I get a lot out of coming here.

So I hope it helps to know that people care and remember your fur baby.

Hugs,
Ariel