The pictures finally arrived and I'm sitting here in tears. I will post a couple. It is heartbreaking to see them. She looks so tiny and so frail in the pictures. If you compare it with the ones in my avatar, you can see the difference in her size. She was always so fat and shiny and perfect and it kills me to know that she got so sick like this. It happened so fast though. She went from about a 14 pound cat to a 5 1/2 pound cat in under 2 weeks. The 2nd picture is one of the little yorkie dogs kissing her. The grave pictures did not turn out so I'm going to have them take some more as soon as I can send her some nice flowers to put on it. I also have a little baggie they sent with a lock of her fur my mom found in one of her hiding places that had gotten caught on the edge of something and pulled out. These were taken on Saturday morning, December 9th, a couple of hours before she went to the vet to end her pain.

Oh Alley, mama misses you so much. My babygirl, my kitty, my heart. I thought I was doing ok but I'm not. I can't believe you're really gone.

This is so sad, my heart goes out to you. I find it hard enough to look at our pictures, much less with significant weight loss.

I am so sorry and hope you aren't alone this afternoon.

My thoughts are definitely with you today.

Misty's Mama

Alley's Mama - I am so sorry! What a beautiful girl. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your grief but there isn't. I hope knowing that we're here for you and we care is of some comfort.



Jan

I'm so sorry these pictures upset you. She was a beautiful girl and I'm sure she knew she was loved so much by you all.

My thoughts are with you.

Sherli...Sable's mom

Oh, Paula, my heart breaks for you! I can understand how seeing your darling Alley so uncharacteristically small and ailing would be such a shock, and so, so painful....and yet they're cherished pictures, at the same time, because they're still pictures of her. That's how I feel anyway, about the last few pictures and video we have of Nissa. Seeing images like this can really bring it all home and it hurts so very much. I can only hope that over time they will also help ease your mind, knowing you did a very unselfish, loving and kind thing for your baby by setting her free, to be whole again in every way.

It is so touching that one of the doggies gave her some comfort and love beforehand. Trust the furry ones to help their special friends out! I'm also so glad that you were able to get some of her precious fur to keep, perhaps in a locket to help you feel that she's with you all the time, or in a beautiful frame or shadowbox with one of her pictures and a special toy or something else of hers?

You're in my thoughts tonight and I'm still wishing for you that Alley will come to you in your dreams to let you know she's well and still loving you as much as she always did. I'm so sorry for your pain, Paula.

P.S. Alley was still a beautiful girl, regardless.

She did it! My girl FINALLY came to me in a dream, and boy did she ever! It was a strange dream, as they generally are, and I really don't remember much. I was in different places. First on an airplane (weird because I'm terrified of flying!), next sitting in a restaurant, next at home on the couch, just all over, too many to remember. Each time, Alley would suddenly show up at my feet meowing her adorable little meow and I would pick her up. It was SO real. I could feel her soft fur in my hands and the struggle to pick her up (she was a big girl and it was definitely a 2 hand job!). Each time she would squirm around when I tried to hold her like a baby, which she always hated, until I would hold her kind of over my shoulder. I would hug her close and pet her and I remember telling her what a good girl she was and so smart to find me all the way across the county. In the dream I was somehow travelling across country, just like I moved in real life. Then she would be gone and I would be somewhere else and here she would come again!

I truly believe she visited me in my dream. Each different scene, she would come wandering into it, everything would be different each time except her. Then in the very last one I remember before waking up, after I put her down she went to my grandmother's feet and just looked back and meowed at me. My grandmother told me what a beautiful and sweet girl she is and she's so happy to have her around. My grandmother died about 7 or 8 years ago and had never met Alley.

Yesterday was SO hard for me, getting those pictures. I spent all evening crying, begging Alley for a sign. I kept saying to her "mama needs you so much Alley, please come to me".

and I feel like she did. I also feel like my grandmother appeared at the end to let me know that she was taking care of Alley now. I'm not sure what I truly believe in, am still trying to sort that whole religion thing out, but I know that this was very real to me.

I miss you so much Alley, but grandma LOVED cats and even used to have one that looked like you, so if you are with her, I won't worry about you so much. You'll always be mama's baby, but grandma will take care of you until I am there!

That's so wonderful, Paula! Can I be jealous of you now?! Alley certainly heard you, loud and clear.....and what a message! Full of comfort and reassurance....how lovely! Don't worry about the 'religious' thing; if it felt real, believe in THAT. This is a spiritual experience and doesn't need a label. Wow....you got to hold her....aahhh....

It truly WAS a wonderful experience. I can remember exactly how she felt when I held her in the dream, the look on her face, the sound of her little voice. It was so real and so amazing. Now she has proved that she can do this I will be expecting more visits! Perhaps one that is not in a dream like some have been lucky enough to have.

It just made me miss her that much more.

FK's mom- If my Alley could finally get off her butt and do this, then I know your Nissa can too.

Alleys Mama

Oh I'm so sorry it was so hard to get the pictures. Poor baby, she did look sick, but still beautiful of course! I understand the feeling, my little Alex kitty went from 12 pounds to 8 pounds to 4. It was a killer to watch. I love that the doggie was loving her. When Moose laid down on the floor and started to scream the night he died, we didn't know what was going on, but Autumn came right over and 'said goodbye". I wish we had been as wise.

Wow what a great dream, and I know how much you wanted one! I really think you are right and Grandma is taking care of Alley now. I'd take great comfort from that. Thanks Grandma! Forget religion, what is real is real, and you know the dream was a sending.

Love

Mama could sure use another dream visit Alley. For some reason, I've been so sad today, sitting here looking at all your beautiful pictures. Even sick and tired at the end, you were still so beautiful. I keep looking at a picture that shows your long beautiful tail stretched out behind you. I remember it was years before you grew into that tail and I used to tease you about being part monkey because your tail was longer than you were! I was in a bookstore today that had a cat that reminded me of you. He was grey but had the same sweet face and shape and his meow even sounded like yours. I told the lady how pretty he was and that he reminded me of my kitty. My kitty. Like you're still here. Like I still have you. But I don't. How did this happen? You'll always be mama's baby. I miss you so much.