I am glad I have found this board. My best friend and first child had to be put to sleep over the holidays. It has been horrible for both my husband and myself, I can't seem to get the picture of him laying on his Froggie toy at the vets office as he died.

We had him almost 8 years, we found him as a stray at fixed him up. He was my best friend. Both my husband and I revolved our life around him. He was more "doglike" and would run to the door and have pretty animated conversations.

We knew for almost 4 years that he was elderly, he had been on IV fluids once or twice every week, plus everyday medicine for hyperthyroidism. But his checkups and quality of life were so positive, I guess I thought he'd be around a few more years.

He stopped greeting us at the door 2 weeks prior, and by the week before we thought he was deaf. We said something to the vet when we went to pick up his supplies, and we brought him in. She orginally said it was just bronchitis, but further testing the next week revealed cancer. We made the decision to put him down that day.

To compound the pain, my friends and babysitters refused to even acknowledge his death. Those who knew how close we were to Misty seems uninterested. Not even one "I'm sorry." This makes me miss him all the more.

I sit home looking around at empty spots, thinking of all the fun times through the years and not believing they are gone.......

Thanks someone for listening.......

Misty's Mama

Sorry to hear about Misty. It's such a shock when you think you have so much more time left with them, and then it's taken away so quickly. It sounds like you cared for Misty very well, and gave him a good life. He was lucky to have you, as you were to have him.

I know exactly what you mean about looking around at the empty spots. I keep expecting to see my Bobby in all the places he used to like to sleep. It's hard, but like you said, it also reminds you of the good times.

I'm glad you found this site, and I hope it helps you like it helped me. I'll be thinking of you, and Misty.

Take care.

Christian

Hey you, I hear you! When things creep up on us, when we least expect them sometimes, when we think one thing and then are told there's something else too...the shock of it can be so terribly hard to adjust to. In that moment we have to do the best we can, or at least try to. As far as people who just don't or can't understand what we are going through...they're not like us, maybe not yet. On this board I have found some people who understand completely, who have been there, who know what it is I am feeling and to be honest even some of my closest friends haven't been able to see how hard it can be and they say they loved Tan so much.

Stick around hun, this is a place that helps to heal, helps to listen, helps to help! Sometimes it wont be easy, sometimes it will hurt like hell, sometimes it may get less, sometimes it may not. You are already one of the good ones for loving Misty the way you did, he was one of the good ones for loving you right back.

I'm fairly new here but rest assured we are all here for you as no doubt you will be here for us and others too. Allow yourself your feelings hun. I think I cry on the hour every hour.

FurDad

Misty's Mama,

I'm glad you found your way here, too. This place is a blessing when we're wracked with sorrow over our furkids. It's been 5 months for me and I'm still here.

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Misty, your dearest friend and first child. He sounds like a wonderful boy, just as you and your H were wonderful parents to him.

I, too, know what it's like both to revolve our lives around our kidlets...did it for almost 20 years....and to have that huge loss disregarded, disrespected and ignored. (In fact, all of my losses have been treated mainly like that.) I truly know how much extra grief this adds to the already-heavy load, and still haven't gotten over the anger and hurt about it all myself. While everyone may have their reasons or excuses for disregarding a loss, and I've tried to be as understanding as possible (for me) about that, I know it's also so hard to not take it personally. I still think that if they truly cared about us, as grief-stricken people, they could just as easily disregard their own biases in fav*our of helping out more with something that's very important to us. So believe me...I 'get' how it makes you miss your guy "all the more". Our fur-kids would never have treated us like these other people do, so it only adds to our pain and loneliness.

Our feline son was very "doglike", too, and even very 'humanlike' (the good kind of human!), while our feline daughter was more cat and human combined. They were both extremely vocal and I know how silent our house is now...it's a nightmare, for sure.

Our girl, Nissa, had kidney failure plus high blood pressure/glaucoma that killed one of her eyes, plus a few other things, yet also had good quality of life and although we knew she was slowly fading, I was still shocked when she suddenly became much sicker and w/i a little while she had to be euthanised. We honestly had thought she'd make it to her 20th birthday, she was always such a sturdy-girl and a trooper. (her brother passed from cancer, quickly, a few years before her) So I know how that feels, too.

But you won't find insensitivity here. And we can all relate to "not believing they are gone..." Five long months later and I'm still rather 'shocky' about it all suddenly being....over. You're welcome for listening, and thank YOU for writing.

thanks you guys for the support, I never would have imagined it would be so hard to find. It really compounds the pain and made me isolate myself the last few weeks, I hardly answer my phone. Both of Misty's babysitters didn't acknowledge anything when I frantically called them, and changed the subject. It made me feel like he was nothing.

I still cry a little everyday, somethings trigger tears more than others. The house just seems so empty. My husband has rearranged furniture, lamps, etc. in attempts to make things feel right, but the bottom line is he is not here.

Last week was hard because I thinkI hit the realization point that he isn't coming home, REALITY has set in. I guess both husband and I thought that maybe he'd come hoem afer the holidays in the back of our minds. Of course, we know that's not true, but it was a way of helping the mind I guess.

I know things will get easier, but it sure is hard right now. Thanks for the support, everyone.......you don't know how much it was appreciated.


Misty's Mama

Dear Misty's Mom,I'm so sorry for your loss.I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet,especially when it happens suddenly.My boy Sox had to be put to sleep back on Oct. 13th and I still need to come here,mostly for support and to be among other people who feel the same way as I do about losing a family member.Your Misty sounds like a wonderful kitty and when your up to it we would love to see a picture of her if you have one.I know what you mean about people being insensitive, it happens to all of us here.At least now you know you have a place to visit where people understand the kind of pain your going thur.Write as often as you need to and let your feelings out.We all know how very hard it is to overcome such a loss.My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you find comfort in knowing that ou are not alone in your sadness.I miss my boy just as you and your husband miss your girl.Take care and let me know how your doing.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Misty's Mom -

I'm so sorry for your loss and I too understand how you're feeling, regarding insensitive people. My Alley had to be put to sleep on December 9th and I miss her so much. Like you, I kept thinking somewhere in the back on my mind that it wasn't real and that she would still be there. Only a few days after she died, I actually had one jerk of a human tell me that I should be over it already, she was "just a cat". Needless to say I don't speak to that person anymore. Alley was so much more than just a cat. She was my daughter and my best friend and I know you feel the same way about your furchild. Some people are just jerks and will never understand.

We here do understand how you feel though and that is why we are all here. We come here to talk about our babies with others who truly understand and are going through the same loss as we are. Every kitty, dog, rabbit, duck, mouse (you name it, we have it on here!) is special in their own right, but they all have one thing in common and that is how much they are loved and missed.

I would love to see pictures of yours if you have any to share with us.

Dear Radgirl

I was so very sorry to read about Misty. Misty was so very lucky to have you and your husband in his life. My husband and I said goodbye to our own beloved Caesar, two weeks before Christmas, and I can tell you that I understand what you are going through. There was no glitter in the Holidays for us, this year. Caesar was always our Yuletide glitter, as he was a Christmas preasant to me from my husband, 16 years ago. When I read what you said about the "empty spots"... how empty they are, indeed. Sometimes, I'll just lie on the floor where our Caesar used to lay, when he could no longer get up on his own, and I'll cry and hold the floor where he used to be. I'm still finding bits of his fur on our holiday decorations, as I clean them and put them away. His fur stuck to the glitter.... Glitter that he took right along with him, it seems.
Thanks so much for sharing Misty with us, here. We would love to be able to see a picture sometime, when/if you're ever up for that. Misty sounds like a very loving, special dog-child. Caesar is our first child, too. We have another dog, but we never had human kids. Our lives revolved around Caesar because we wanted it to. We wanted him with us forever.

..... It suddenly occurred to me that today is the last day of the month, and today is the very last day ever that I can say the words, "Last month, I had my doggie...." Time can be so cruel in this pain.

Last month, I had my Caesar...

Radgirl, hang in there..... you are not alone. Misty is still with you. Our beloved pets never leave us. They never could...

Amarna

Thanks again everyone for all the support. I honestly didn't think anyone would care. That was making me feel so much worse. I got the impression that a lot of my supposed "friends" thought I doted on him way too much and thought it was high time I learned a lesson or something.

But, folks, I feel sorry for people not like ourselves that never have the opportunity to enjoy a close relationship with an animal. They are the losers, because they miss out.

At age 30 I went back to school to become an x-ray tech and make something of myself. I was so scared entering that classroom. Misty was there every night, sleeping on my books, and "helping" me study. He gave me the courage to do it.

He also saw my Husband and I through buying our first house, we were nervous about leaving apartment life behind, but Misty was there to provide stability and lend a listening ear.

When I started my first job, Misty listened every night to my fears of not being able to make it. He waited for me ob the driveway so patiently, memorizing when my shift was done.

I bet we all can share some stories like these where our pets were the ones there. I know Misty is watching over us, but it sure will take time for me to work through missing our daily routine.

I was reading Alley's story......I am so sorry you lost here so young. But know that you did totally the right thing, Alley's Mom. That is love, when you give up our own needs to make sure they aren't in pain for any second longer than needed. I know my husband went through a few weeks of torture thinking if we had brought him home one more day, if only, etc....but the bottom line is ending his pain was the most important.....and same for Alley too.

Thanks again everyone......my original post was short because I wasn't sure anyone would want to hear some of this......

Misty's Mama

Misty's Mama

I'm so sorry you lost your best friend and first child, Misty. He sounds like he deserved to be doted on. It's so hard to lose one we are so close too. It feels so unreal for so long.

When we lose someone close to us, our reality changes, things never 'go back to normal' we just learn to live in the new reality, without them. It seems so unreal, like maybe we never really had them. Like it was a beautiful dream, or that this is a nightmare we can't wake up from. Our stablity is just gone.

Things do get better, for me at one week things got a tiny bet better, then at one month. It's three months now since we lost our kitty, Moustache. It was very sudden, he was only 10. We miss the little guy so much. Many people just cannot understand he wasn't a cat to us, he was our son. Our family was so right, and now it's just not.

This site is indeed a blessing, the people on it are so wonderful. We want to hear all about Misty and see him is possible. You can rant or go crazy or be angry or whatever you need to do to. We are here to listen, help if we can, or just be here if we can't.

I'm convinced that we got the house we are in now because our two cat kids wanted it. We just shouldn't have been able to afford it, and things just fell into place. Thanks again Moose and Autumn.

Thinking of you and Misty

Misty's Mom

Thank you for reading Alley's story and for your words of comfort. I am starting to accept that I did the right thing and that she would only have suffered, but I still feel such guilt that she was in that situation in the first place.

Feel free to talk about your Misty here all you like, and share any funny or sweet stories. We love to hear about them! You really have come to the right place. Sometimes it breaks my heart to read the stories on here and each and every time I can truly feel the pain behind the words, but other times, its nice to be able to talk to people and comfort eachother.

Paula

Misty's Mama, I am so sorry about Misty. Everyone on this site knows and understands exactly what you're going through.

I think this site literally was a lifesaver for me when I found it 3 years ago. Now, here I am again.

God bless you sweetie. We do care and we do understand.

Jan