I think I am going tomorrow to pick up my Molly's ashes (my little pug). I don't know how I am going to feel tomorrow doing that. I'm sure it will be very hard. Hopefully I will feel that feeling of peace of being back home with me. I looked at the urn sites and I think my Mom is going to custom make a wooden box for me. I'm going to have her little bone that she chewed all the time put in a shadow box on there and her picture. When she died I brought her home with me in a box coffin and I was going to bury her and then I started thinking about it more and I decided to go back to the vet that same afternoon and get her cremated so I could keep her with me at the house.
It has been so hard this past week without Molly. Everytime I had free time I would be thinking about her. Driving on the way to work and home was hard because I was thinking so much and crying.
Last night I had a dream about her that she was left on the side of the road in a field and I went back to find her all worried and she was still there running around doing her thing and she was just fine. Maybe that is telling me that she is okay with where she is now.
The house seems so empty without her. Not meeting us at the door when we come home and I miss her so much when I am through eating and she used to get a little nibble of what we were eating or lick the bowl. I opened a piece of cheese tonight and she used to love that, and tuna (she loved the cans). There are so many things.
I keep thinking back on the weekend it happened (weekend before last) and just thinking how quickly it happened and then she wasn't here anymore just like that.
I wake up in the morning and she is not on the end of the bed like she usually was. One end of the couch was hers and it is strange looking at that without her.
I miss going outside with her. I don't go outside as much now.
Well I hope tomorrow is OK. I'm sure I will cry but hopefully I will feel better having her home with me. Molly's Mom

Dear Molly's Mom, I am so sorry for your loss, it is awfully soon for you, give yourself time....I am also waiting for my dog's ashes, they are being sent to me from the vet who took care of him in the end, its horrifying yet also comforting, I don't know how I am going to feel, my husband is not here right now, just my seven year old daughter and me, I hope I won't freak out. It seems like the reality will hit when its here....I know how you are feeling, I also always gave my boy at least one bite of dinner or lunch, it doesn't feel right to throw out the pizza crusts, something he loved more than anything. I understand all those places you are looking for him. I hope your day is better and mine as well. This is hard

Peace to you, Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Dear Hrudey's Momma,
I know what you mean about the pizza crust. It doesn't feel right throwing them away or just putting a bowl in the sink without her licking it. We actually had pizza the night after she died. When are you expecting to get your baby's ashes? Any time now? Hopefully it will bring peace to you too that he is back home with you. Molly's Mom

Molly's Mom:

Hang in there girl. It's such a wild, emotional road to go down. AND it's so true that everything you see reminds you of something she did or liked. She was an intrical part of your life.

I pray that you will find comfort. I'm in the same place. My cat of 17 1/2 years passed away on Monday and I feel in such a fog. It's habit to except to see them where they were every day when you left for work or come in.

Cry your tears...even though the pain is deep, those tears are healing. I so understand.

Sherli...Sable's Mom

mollys mom, i am so sorry for your loss. i too lost both my girls 2months and 7 days apart. hardest thing i have ever been thru in my life. both i had to have put to sleep. one fell ill suddenly and there was no cure or anything we had to put her to sleep to end her suffering the other one was well 18, she had asthma and i think her kidneys were failing ..made the very hard choice to put her down.

i had both of them cremated. after all they were both indoor girls and spent their very long lives inside with me. i never felt funny about going to get thier ashes(weird i know)..but what hurt the most was they were away from me.. so when each place called to say they were back..i was like a mad woman driving to get there so they would not spend another day without me. somehow i feel comfort that they are in the house with me..i still cry often but sometimes i laugh at the things i think of that they used to do.
i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..
michelle

Molly's Mom

For me, getting the ashes back was a good thing. My baby was home, safe with me. My hubby and I went together to get them and I held the box close to my heart all the way home. I can put it in his favorite places, like in the window in the sun or in the bedroom when we sleep. When I am really lonely and sad for him I still hold him close to my heart.

There are so many things to miss about them, I'm so sorry you lost her. I really think the dream was her telling you she is all right, she's happy, not to worry.

Love

I am terribly sorry for your loss. Having your baby's remains at home will give you some peace, but at first it may be hard to think of her remains being inside the box.

But, I think your dream was definitely a sign. She is safe with God and wants you to know that she is happy.


Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy

Molly's Mom,
I am so sorry for your loss. You said so many things that I think sound familiar to all of us - like crying a lot and missing things like being greeted at the door and waking up with your baby in bed with you in the morning.
Your dream reminded me of one I had last week. My dream was that Zappa (my cat that passed 2 weeks ago) was just standing on the side of the road with a bowl of food and eating like crazy. This was ironic because towards the end, he wasn't eating, which caused liver failure and ultimately lead to his death. So to see him eating in a dream maybe was a message telling me that he's okay now. I don't think I really put it all together until reading your post just now. I remember waking up the morning after that dream and all I was thinking was "so now you're eating!?", but now I think maybe it was a sign. Thank you for sharing your story.
I hope that by sharing with one another, it will help to ease our pain together.
Thinking of you,
Jules

Thank you all for thinking about me. I'm glad my dream helped you think about your dream, Zappa's Mommy.
Well, we went and picked up her ashes today. It was real hard on the way there. I just started crying because I wanted her back so bad. The vet hospital that I went to was really nice and they took us to a side room where they brought her to us. I was okay. I do feel glad that she is home with us now. When I walked in the door I told her we were back home. It was hard today but I am okay. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I really enjoy getting on the computer and going to this site. It does help to know that so many other people are going through the same feelings that you are. Molly's Mom

Dear Molly's Mom, well the ashes came today....it was hard to see such a small box, from such a big boy...didn't seem right at first, but I finally opened to find a nice cedar box with heart cutouts on the top, some red "rose" petals inside... I was able to put some of his fur that I had kept from brushing him, in the box so you can see it through the holes, I just held it and carried it around for a long time. It is comforting and I am glad he's back with now, most importantly. I guess I am just not sure about my emotions, I am just feeling so depressed tonight, so empty...like it was all a dream..I am waiting for a sign from him..anyway, hope your night is better, PS I love Pugs, they are so cute...I remember when Hrudey was a puppy we took him to a puppy obedience class, there was a pug there, and so cute, responding to all the commands, just precious. Thanks for that memory...

I had a dream of my boy a few nights after he passed away, its the only one I can remember, I had been worrying that I couldn't protect him or make him feel better in the end because he was so sick, nothing that I did could help, anyway, afterwards I was feeling so badly about this, and I had a dream that I was hugging him and that another bigger dog was there, but that I was able to keep him away from my boy (who was always a target for agressive dogs because he was a passive guy,) anyway, in the dream it was nice because he was comfortable and warm and I was able to make that happen. I am hoping that was a sign to me that I always protected him and took care of him, hopefully even though I couldn't do it in the end. Much love to you all, its just been a month now for us, feels like a lifetime. All the best to you, Tory, Hrudey's Momma

I am so sorry for your tremendous loss. I hope things went okay picking up the ashes. We went through the same thing for over 3 weeks, looking at all the spots where our little one used to play, etc.

I hope you are doing okay and please write in and let us now how you are doing.

Misty's Mama

where do you put ashes?? we will pick up bailey next week and i am not sure what comes next. i am comforted to see that others feel better once that is done...i have been wondering how it will feel.

missingbailey,

The choice is up to you. You can buy an urn you like and keep them inside. You can bury them, with or w/o an urn. You can scatter them in a fav*ourite place, or do any of the above plus leave a little aside to place in either a treasured container for inside or in a special locket that takes cremains that you can wear forever. There are even places that will make diamonds out of ashes, though it's expensive. It's all about doing whatever will make you feel best.