Yesterday afternoon we went up to Michigan State to put Ziggy to sleep. I will see those beautiful brown eyes of his for the rest of my life. I whispered to him to take care of Nicky and my Mom. I know the 3 of them are together now. Benji and my Dad are so lost. This house is so quiet and depressing.

Ziggy looked so frail and totally out of it, but he did appreciate us comforting him. I knew we had to do it but my husband just kept asking if there was other things they could try. They told him, yes but it would be hard on him and even if they found out what else was wrong, his heart probably couldn't take it. I had a hard time getting him to just accept it and I thought I would pass out in the room. Finally we went into a conference room and after crying for a while he said okay I'm ready. I told him I'd go with him, but I'm glad he didn't want me to because I don't think I could have taken it. I hate that I'm such a whimp. He held Ziggy on his lap and asked him to give him a sign that we were doing the right thing and Ziggy whined and then tried to crawl back into the oxygen cage where he knew he could breath better; that was the sign.

I know Ziggy wasn't mine, but he's always been a part of our lives and with him living with us for over a year, he was an important part of our family. My Dad is very depressed, but he is hinting for us to get a puppy soon for Benji's sake and to liven up the house. I'm not ready after losing Nicky just 4 weeks ago today, plus I don't want to train a puppy again in Michigan winter. I also dont want to leave one when we got on our trip in April. We only booked the trip because we haven't gone anywhere for so long because of all the care we had to give Nick. I feel guilty, but neither me nor my husband are ready. My Dad is 89 and going down hill fast. I pray he lives long enough to enjoy the happiness that a puppy brings to a home. If something happens to him before that I'll feel even guiltier. One of the first things my husband said to me on the ride home is if I still want to get another dog. Of course the answer was yes, but not now. I'm caught between the 2, but I know I have to do what's right for me and I really think if I broke down and did get one now, my husband might resent it at first. Why is life so hard??? I know I"ll be okay, I was doing well after Nicky's passing, put the crying and heartache is starting all over again.

This weekend I"ll post a picture of Nicky and Ziggy together. God Bless to everyone who reads this and is going through anything like this. Mary

Mary,

I'm so sorry for the loss of Ziggy. I know it is especially hard after losing your precious Nicky such a short time ago.

I would love to see a picture of them together. Such handsome fellows they were! I'm so sorry for your dad, and for his dog Benji that is also grieving. Just make sure Benji gets a lot of attention to get him through this time as well.

Sleep sweetly dear Ziggy. You will be missed.

I'm just so sorry for all of you. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Love

I am so sorry that you have lost two of your precious babies so close together.
You are in my thoughts.

Cleo1

Mary,

I'm so sorry things turned out this way for all of you, but it sounds like you all did the very best for Ziggy that you could. Please don't beat yourself up for not being able to put yourself through being there for Ziggy. You've just been through such great turmoil with Nicky and can't expect yourself to be a rock right now, for anyone. Just focus on the fact that your H was there with Ziggy, so he wasn't alone.

You're on the right track, I think, with trying to balance your own needs against your dad's. Sometimes we just can't 'save' the entire world and perfect solutions are few and far between. As some have told me repeatedly, if you don't take care of yourself first, or at least in tandem with others, you'll be no good to anybody....and then you'll regret and feel guilty for that, too! So don't add to your distress. Try to picture your dad still well and fine AFTER you get back from your well-deserved trip. You have good and valid reasons for delaying getting another doggie so soon and I think you already know it's unwise to NOT listen to your inner voice. If you explain all your reasons to everyone, I'll bet they'll likely agree. It's also not surprising this has brought your grief right up to the surface again....a month isn't a very long time to mourn to begin with.

Why is life so hard? I have my theories, but I still don't LIKE that it too often is! Rage against this all you like....it's your right as a griever.

Nicky and Ziggy will be running around together like kooks, feeling SO much freer in their now-painless state. Let that image soothe you as much as it can while you grieve. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. Give your family hugs from me, and keep one for yourself.

It's been 6 months since we had to have our Scooter put to sleep. I am really sorry for the pain you are going through, and so soon after another loss. I know my Scooter is there for your babies, and guiding them around. I talk to my Scooter every morning and evening, and have had some wonderful signs from him. Take your time with your grief and how ever long it takes. When we lost Scooter (he was only 6) and suffered from kidney failure, I went through every stage of grief, and then back again. It does get better, I promise you that. The only thing that got me through, was crying and writing my feelings here, no matter what they were. Everyone here was so understanding and comforting. Without them, I would have never made it through some of the roughest times. It would be wonderful to see your two precious ones together when you can post a picture.
My love and prayers and thoughts to you and your father also.
Scooters Mom

I am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to sweet Ziggy. You will know when the right time is to think about getting another furkid so give yourself time to heal now if that is what you feel is right for you. Life will go on and there will be furkids waiting when you are ready to open your heart again.