Ok Everyone,

Now I'm suddenly in this panic mode! I suddenly have this paranoia that my two old cats are going to just die at any minute. For that matter, I'm also convinced my husband has lung cancer.

Buckwheat is 16 and I've had him longer than I've had my human kids. I think he's in good health. He had the same problem with crystals in his bladder that Lynda was talking about with Atticus, but that was over 10 years ago and he's been on special cat food for it since with no reoccurence. Other than that, he lost one of his front teeth a year ago. You know how you love them all but sometimes one is extra special. Well, that's him.
Spooky's 14 (I think) and obese. She's about 18 lbs and the vet's been after me for years to get her to lose weight. Well, it doesn't matter what I do. She's an overeater! The cat food is put up out of reach of the dogs so she has to be able to jump to get it at least.

And I'm worried about the new dog Marley too. He's still puppy-ish and starting to chew things he shouldn't. What if he ends up with an intestinal blockage like Patton and dies?!?!

I was looking through a box of photos for puppy pictures of Copper. I found some of the Black Cat Gang and that's when things just hit me. Two of those 4 are gone plus Nina a gray cat that I don't know if I even have any photos of because she wasn't with me very long.

Here's Moon Cat and Spooky. Moon Cat is gone now. He was a ferral cat that a rescue org. took in. He turned out to be a real sweetie and lived with me for 3 years before he left and didn't come home. He's the longhair who's sitting.

Here's Magic. She crossed over 2 1/2 years ago.

And Buckwheat, when he was young. I'm so afraid to lose him!!!

Moon Cat looks so much like my Alley.

Beautiful pictures of beautiful cats. Has Buckwheat been to the vet lately? Even if he seems fine, it wouldn't hurt to have him checked over good to make sure he doesn't have any "senior" issues.

Give him hugs for me please!

v-angel

Oh my, all your babies are so beautiful! What great faces they all have.


Well I'm sure everyone is doing okay, so hang on. If anyone needs the vet or the doctor take them, but it's you that needs the help right now.

I'm not a doctor but it sounds to me like panic attacks. I have had a lot of problems but never had a panic attack until my Moose died. It was so sudden and such a shock. I think the way Copper passed has put you in much the same place. I'm not sure what to tell you to do, my homeopath was the most help to me. Sometimes it helps to know what is going on. Maybe you need to see someone?

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. While no one can promise you anything I think you have time with your babies.

Thinking of you
Lori

V,

It's understandable, given the shocking way you lost Copper, that you would be nervous. After Mackie died, I found a lump on Birgas' hind-quaters and another one on her neck, and I had read how prone G-sheps are to the same disease that took Copper and Mack. I made the vet aspirate them twice and send the samples off to two different pathologists before I was satisfied that they were benign.

One thing is very clear to me about you. You are very knowledgeable about your pets, and you take very good care of them. Having said that; I know that you will probably need to have them checked out before you are satisfied...and even then.

It may be that you have PTSD, also. Something that happened to me some years ago: I was downtown and I could see a fire burning in our condo complex, and I knew the dogs couldn't get out, triggered anxiety and panic attacks that I still struggle with, ( even though M and B were fine). The fire was next door.
I sometimes have to check the stove and the iron, and feel the walls for heat four or five times before I can leave the house.

It is very hard to be responsible for the well-being of so many innocents, ( husbands included ). My policy towards vets is, and I love ours, trust with verification. I know schools' starting again, and things are hectic, but I think I would get the kids, and then myself checked out.

Take care,
Dayna

V-angel,I agree with Lori on this one.It sounds just like panic attacks.I have suffered on and off with them for years.Once I had one so bad it sent me to the hospital.I thought I was having a heart attack but in reality I was just experiencing a terrible panic attack.They put me thur all kinds of tests but they didn't find anything wrong with me.Anxiety can also cause all kinds of weird side effects.Both my mother and I have suffered with that over the years.If it will make you feel better take all of your animals to the vet for a complete checkup.Make your husband go to the doctor if that will ease your mind.Why do you think your husband has lung cancer? Does he have any symptoms? Grief can cause all kinds of symptoms and everyone who experiences it does it different.Worry can also cause you to experience anxiety and stress.Please go see someone if it will help you.There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help.You may not need to do that you might just need to give youself a break and understand that you've been thur a very tramatic experience.It's going to take some time before you go back to normal (if there ever is a normal....)Just try to concentrate on loving your remaining pets and your husband and try not to focus so much on things going wrong.If all of your animals (and your husband) get a clean bill of health then count yourself blessed and concentrate on loving them while you still have them here.No one knows what might happen in the future,all we can do is concentrate on living in the now........Oh,by the way,the pictures of your kitties are so awesome.They are just adorable.Take care and be good to yourself. Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Thanks Everyone,

All 5 cats are due for rabies shots and Marley has his pre-neuter exam, so we have 2 batches of vet appointments this week. Buckwheat & Spooky are going with Marley the dog tomorrow. Thinking about the possibility of her catching something with one of them is what probably set me off. I'm always a little nervous since they've hit their senior years. But you guys are right, after what just happened, I am very tramatized.

I'm freaked out about hubby because he's got this horrible cough that's been hanging on for quite some time now. He's a smoker. My dog just died of cancer. His mother is a lung cancer survivor. Even though I've begged and cried he won't go to the doctor and insists it's just something he picked up at work -- he's a nurse. Oh, and he was exposed to TB a few months ago too. Dwelling on lung cancer is the lesser of the two in my book.

I respect what you guys are saying about the PTSD. I have a sleep disorder and even with the heavy duty sleep meds I take there's still problems -- just look at some of times I'm posting. I'm taking your suggestions to heart and will get ahold of my doctor to discuss all of this. Even though 16 days isn't that long for healing, this really is starting to take on a life of it's own.

I really do appreciate all your honesty about the situation.
Love,
V

Hi V., I just caught your last note... and it sounds like you are on the right road to getting the support you need right now, I just wanted to say I completely understand, I am paranoid of my daughter being hurt or run over by a car right now, I run around her like a herding dog to keep her from any kind of harm...yes and I look crazy too, I feel that panic sense as well. and I have a husband who survived lymphoma in his 20's and cancer in his family, and won't get a check up as he's nearing the mid century mark, I panic about that one too....is it a weird maternal thing, I guess I feel like I have to take care of everyone....

well, anyway I am off on a tangent... take it easy, I agree the vet is the best person to ease your fears, I don't have any answer about the husband.....and do what you always do for your gang of animals, I know they are in the best of care possible...

All the best to you.. Tory, Hrudey's Momma

V, I know you are on your way to being able to handle these stress situations but remember that you are still grieving so please take it one day at a time.As for your husband not wanting to go to the doctor you might want to tell him my story.Last year I was having some bad backaches and my husband begged me to go to the doctor's but I just kept saying it was from over working it,etc... well,long story short when I did go to the doctors to have it checked out I found out that I had kidney cancer.I'm only 43 years old and I hadn't had any other smyptoms other than that nagging backache.I had surgery to remove my right kidney and thankfully (and by the grace of God) they were able to remove all of the tumor and I was completely cured.I didn't have to go thur radiation and chemo because the cancer had been caught early.Well,now I know this isn't the same as thinking he might have lung cancer I was just trying to make the point that if he did indeed have lung cancer the earlier they caught it the better his chances of being able to do something about it.Burying your head in the sand does not make it go away.I'm not saying he has cancer I'm just telling you that you have to keep bugging him about going to get that cough checked out.Don't give up until he agrees to go, whatever it takes.You would think that since he's a nurse he would be more open to the idea of getting someone to look at him.But then again it might just be smokers cough and that can be a very nagging problem.I'm glad your feeling better and I hope we can continue to help you when you need it.Take care,my friend.Sincerely,Renee

Buckwheat got his rabies shot yesterday. The vet said he was in great shape for his age and there was nothing to worry about. Spooky was nowhere to be found but she's going in tomorrow with the other 3. Marley looks good other than a case of ear mites.

A different vet clinic did the surgery on Copper and she didn't have the final report on him. Probably because that last visit wasn't an actual "appointment" -- the clinic was closed and the vet was the only one there. I told her everything he said before we made that last decision and she said that we made the right call. She also said she's seen a lot of moms and dads get worried about the rest of the family after losing one. Since everyone except Penny has to come in for shots anyway, she agrees with you guys that this will help. She asked about how Penny's doing with her emotional problems and was happy to her about her progress.

I did talk to my doctor and he's changing some of my medications around. Straighten out my sleep patterns should help things too.

Thanks for your concern and help!
Love
V

V-angel

I'm so happy that so far things are going good with your guys! I think it will be okay with them all. Poor Marly with the ear mites, but not a big deal.



No 16 days isn't long, and I never meant to suggest it was. There is lots of stuff going on now, and I well know that emotionaly tender place you go to when you lose a loved one. That "I can't stand anymore" place. The "omg everyone I love is going' place. After Moustache died, my husband was out in a snowstorm and I had to call his cell phone when he was just 5 minutes late. Piff I'm not that nervous usually.

What you were saying did seem like a bit beyond the norm. I did much the same thing and it took me most of 2 months to figure out what I was doing and that it WAS something beyond the norm, something that could get fixed. I just thought it was a normal part of grief. I'm so happy you talked to your doctor, it's hard enough without the crap we put ourselves through. While we can't fix the grief, or what we have to go through, some things can be helped. Hope the change in meds does it for you.

Love
Lori

Well the annual cat round up to the vet is over. As I said earlier, 16 year-old Buckwheat went in Tuesday and is in great health. Today the other 4 went. The 3 year old Tabby Brothers, Patchee and Mic Mac, look perfect. Their littermate sister Koda needs to gain a little weight but is in good health also. 14 year old Spooky is still overweight -- I knew that was coming. BUT, she has lost 9 oz. since last year! Usually she gains weight every year, so that's a good thing. Her health is also pretty good except I need to start cleaning her teeth.

My sleeping pattern is straightened out and that's helping too. I'm getting at least 9 hours in row (probably more) rather than 4 on and 4 off.

Lori, I certainly never thought you would mean to suggest that 16 days wasn't a long time to grieve and wholeheartily agree that it was getting out of hand. Sleep depreviation was getting the best of me. I knew that I still wasn't sleeping right but I didn't realize the effect it was having on me. I'm lucky to have good friends like all of you who are brave enough to point out that I may be in real trouble. Thank you for that!

Love,
V

V,

Your babies are so precious. They look just like my Molly. I am so glad that things turned out well at the vet's office. It is understandable that you can have some panic. I went yesterday to have my eyes checked to see if my pituitary tumor has grown at all and I kept praying the entire time. I got good news there. I am having back surgery Jan. 31st and all I think about is something happening to me and what would Olivia do if she lost me too. She is really grieving hard for Molly right now and cries alot. I only cry when she is not here. I am trying to be strong for her and melt in the mornings and at night. I do sleep but still can't eat much and when I do it makes me sick. My only comfort is her spirit in the house. I see her and hear her. It also makes me smile when I see your babies and everyone else's here and know that she has so many friends now. I just wonder how much she is hissing since she couldn't stand any on our property!!!

I hope all is well with your husband. I am just so happy your others are doing great. The 9oz loss is good. That is how Molly used to be... she was big and her weight loss was slow at first. Celebrate it.

Work on getting some sleep. I know how hard that is. It will come though. Hang in there. You are doing great.
Kim

Thanks Kim,
No, we're not at all worried about the 9 oz. loss and are celebrating it. Spooky was 17 lb 2 oz last year and she was supposed to lose weight. Buckwheat also lost a few ounces himself. Both of them have great muscle mass that that's what's important. They're probably getting more excercise since my vizsla girl Penny got here 11 months ago. It took me a few months to get her completely out of the habit of chasing the cats. But hey, Spooky needed a good workout! Hubby's not coughing anymore, so that's over with too.

I'm sure Molly is having way too much fun to be hissing at anyone. If Moon Cat hasn't won her over with his good looks, EM's Denis has become her "bacon sugar-daddy".

I know it's hard to think positive about anything, but that's what you're going to have to do about you're surgery. It's been such a very short time since Molly passed. Hopefully in the next few weeks, you'll get your appet*ite back a little and be better prepared for it. I'm sure it will all work out fine and Olivia will be okay.

Love,
V

v-angel

I glad to hear the good news, and everyone has got a clean bill of health, it must be a great weight off of your mind. I had all my fingers and toes crossed for you!

I wish I could have shared that dream that you had, that was just so cool! Why can't I have dreams like that, or do I just not remember them?

Now it is funny that you mentioned about Denis being a sugar daddy because he actually was, to our little Emily, and it was only yesterday that I just said to her out of the blue 'well at least we still have Denis' girlfriend here'.

You see, a year and a half ago Denis took a real shine to Emily and decided he wanted to 'advance his relationship with her further' and caught him and Emily cementing the relationship in the back garden. With the age difference of Emily being just under a year old, she obviously liked the older man, and since then he became her sugar daddy.

Whenever she went over to him he would always give her a wash and tidy up her fur, no matter what. I kept thinking, Denis you are too old to be looking after Emily, but he had a real soft spot for her.

Oh, and no kittens there as Denis was firing blanks luckily!

So all you lady cats up there you had better watch out because Denis is a real Casanova!

E.M (Debbie)