So glad to have found this site - and to find like-minded people who will understand. I pray someone will offer support to me.

In the space of a few short months, I lost my entire kitty family. I have been struck with such grief and pain, that coping with the world has been very hard for me.

I moved to the mountains many years ago with my husband, bringing Little Girl with us. She met Big Bo, a mountain wild cat, who started a family with her. I was exstatic to watch a litter of kittens born - and raised a liitle female, Hairdu, and her twin brother, Roentgen with the parents. Together, we created a real family, as I did not have children of my own, and my only human family is my sister.

When my husband divorced me and left, I was able to stay on the mountain alone, because I had a kitty family to support me emotionally. We scrambled and worked hard, and their love made the effort worthwhile.

A few years later, I married again, and he asked me to move the kitties outside. I did, moving them to another building on the property that did not have heat. Each day that I fed and watered them, I agonized over my cruel decision, especially during the 2 harsh winters we had. But the kitties still loved me the same without question. They were always happy to greet me, and still offered their counsel and support.

Husband #2 left us alone and departed, divorcing again - the good part was the kitties were brought back inside and we were joyous beyond belief. The kitties never held a grudge, nor thought any the less of me, so pure was their love.

My cats were more than friends and companions. They slept with me, trusted me. Bo was a watch-cat - letting me know when a bear was trying to get in the house, or something was in the woods. Roentgen was like a puppy - following me around, "helping" me to do my work - Each one of them brought special talents and gifts to our home, and each one loved each other, and they loved me. Pure harmony - It was as close to Paradise as I will ever know here on Earth.

Bo lived to be 18 - Little Girl followed him in death only 13 days later. Their daughter Hairdu (her markings looked like she had a little hair-do on the top of her head) had died the November 2 before they passed - they were so close that they all passed away in such a short span of time.

But Roentgen, the first-born and most loving of all of them, hung on for me. He grieved like I have never seen an animal grieve - we grieved together - and still had each other to comfort. I knew when Roentgen died, my world would shift.

One day at the end of sunmmer, Roentgen brought in a baby bunny. I picked it up and put it back outside. Two weeks later, I became violently ill - they finally figured out what I had - I had contracted Tularemia - Rabbit Fever - from touching the bunny which had been infected. While I was in hospital, a doctor asked me if my kitty was sick, as he probably would also have the disease. From that moment on, I checked myself out of hospital and drove home as fast as possible, only to find that Roentgen was indeed, very sick too with the same thing.

Roentgen spent over a week in isolation at the vets. Then, for the next month, we were both so sick we could barely make it. But we did. For awhile.

After missing lots of work, I finally returned. But Roentgen did not get stronger, in spite of the vet's attempts with fluids and medicine. He continued on a slow, downhill slide, finally stopping eating because he was so ill to his stomach all the time. But he would still stay close to me - no longer sleeping in my bed, but being near whenever he could.

When it became so painfully apparent that Roentgen was not going to make it, I took him for his last trip to the vet. He passed exactly the same date as his sister did - November 2.

Coming home from work each night has been agonizing. Roentgen used to always meet me on the driveway, and run ahead of the car, coming up to the door of the car to greet me, then leading me inside in the dark, with his little white and black body acting like a beacon to me. The only thing that eases the pain are my memories of these wonderful friends of mine.

I pray you all will find as much joy with your friends as I did with my family, who are now gone. I miss them beyond words.

God Bless my Big Bo, Little Girl, Hairdu and Roentgen. Pure love. There will never ever be another family like them.

I'm so so very sorry for all your loss! Big Bo, Little Girl, Hairdu and Roentgen, were your family. You must miss them so much. Pure love, that's the best. I wish I had the right words to support you the way you need.

Not to have a kitty waiting when you come home is so hard. Our Moose, who has been gone almost 3 months now, always waited for his daddy in the window. My husband is always so sad when he comes home and there is no black and white face waiting in the window.

If you have pictures of your babies I would love to see them.

Thinking of you, Big Bo, Little Girl, Hairdu and Roentgen.
Lori

Oh, I'm so very, very sorry for your losses. There really are no words or easy plat*itudes which will help you through these times, sometimes the easiest things to do are just to feel like curling up in a ball and crying till you can't cry any more - and those feelings can last much longer than you'd ever think possible. I'm just so very sorry.

You had a very special relationship with each of your kitties. Those types of relationships really know no bounds. Although the physical loss feels like a tearing apart - which it is - it's always been something of a comfort to me to know that in a way, the relationship has really shifted focus. I don't have a furry pet to feel on my feet or purr against my hand or feed his smelly food anymore, but I have a memory and a spirit that he is with me and knows what I'm going through and hears me when I talk to him. And one day, and I do know that others feel differently about all this, I will be with him or her again, and it will be as if no time has passed at all. Meanwhile, if I can make this physical life easier for another soul I think those who've gone ahead would approve.

It doesn't make it easier in the short run. Grief knows no rules, and the losses and the memories no timetables. The last days and months haunt us sometimes forever, and maybe they should. And the aloneness is frightening and indescribeable, when it's an only pet who's gone. My heart just tears for you for that. If I could ease it for you, I would in a heartbeat. As you know and suspected, your world will shift, and I understand, because when I lost my cat, I know mine did, and I felt no one understood. Life is no longer the same, it's like it all moves on a different axis. But also know this, by sharing your thoughts and feelings, you will come to understand, and begin to focus on how this can change you in a way that can make you a stronger and more empathetic person. You'll have days with a shadow over your head whch will seem to press on you all the time, but it will begin to lift at some point. I wish I could tell you when, but it's different for all of us.

Again, I'm so very, very sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing your story. Please come back and let us know how you're doing, because we care. So you take care - Barbara

Karen,I cannot express my sympathy for all of your losses.It must be so hard for you to cope without them.You were indeed a family and I know it's so painful to try to go on without them.I wish there were words I could say to comfort you.You've had a tough life but those sweet kitties always gave you hope that things would get better.Now you must try to think that they are all together,at the rainbow bridge.They will wait there for you until it is your time to pass on.I know that doesn't help you feel any better but at least you can know that they are all together,safe and healthy.I cannot imagine how much pain you are in right now.I can only hope that we will be able to help get you thur it.I know what's it's like to lose a beloved kitty.My boy Sox had to be put to sleep back on Oct. 13th and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.I miss him and think of him every day.Whe your up to it I would love to see pictures of all of your family.Tell us a little bit more about each one of them.They all sound so special and unique.I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I hope it helps to know that you are not alone in your feelings.May God be with you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Bless you, dear e-friends (Lori, Barbara and Sox's Mom) who responded to my story. It helps to know that I am not alone in my suffering and challenges. Your conforting words, each one of them, were as beautiful as I am sure you are. Because you have given your heart and shared your life with an animal, you are a great human being, capable of compassion in a way that non-animal types can never know. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You have really helped ease my pain. I wish I did have electronic photos of my family, but all I have are snapshots - so thank you for letting me share, and for sharing your wisdom and experience with me too.

Your love is felt through this marvelous tool, and I am sincerely grateful that you replied.

Karen

I'm so very sorry for your losses. You have indeed come to the right place. I have never heard of the rabbit disease and I'm glad that you made it through, even though your beloved kitties did not. My Alley also died of a disease that I had never heard of before and it has been just over a month.

I know that no words can take away your pain. Just know that we are here for you and will cherish any memories of them you care to share with us.

Paula

Oh Karen,
I am sorry sorry for all you've been through. I'm a 5 cat mom myself and can't even bring myself to imagine losing the whole family in such a short time.

But I do understand the feeling of sadness and loss that comes with the passing of someone who's been with you through so much. Copper and my cats Nina and Magic saw me through a difficult divorce and it felt like I was losing my support system when they were gone. After Copper's passing on New Year's Eve, I've been completely paraniod about the health of my two older cats that were a part of all that also.

If there were magic words that could take away the pain, I would have already have given them to you. Know that all of us are here for you to understand and offer what comfort we can.

Love,
V

You know, if there's one thing that can be learned from Karen and Roentgen's tragic story, for which I again express my deep sympathy because a multiple loss such as Karen's is a terrible one, is that it does inform people of a disease which a lot of people haven't heard of or had experience with. If that fact alone can keep someone's pet, somewhere, from suffering through this type of debilitating disease, then both Karen and Roentgen have taught us all a real lesson. I've had cats bring me baby bunnies - outside cats which were semi-feral - and if the bunny wasn't injured (and a surprising number weren't) I had no hesitation in picking them up and taking them to where I'd seen the cat bring them from (and then put the cat in a crate for awhile to keep it from doing the same thing again.) I never thought at any time that I could be putting myself, the cat, or anyone else at risk. I always wash carefully and change clothes when I come in to be sure I take no unknown or unwanted germs or parasites in to my indoor kitties. But it takes a story like the one Karen shared to bring home to me what a danger that can be, to any animal.

Again, Karen, thank you, and deepest condolences. Your story, and the story of your cat family, will be with me for a long, long time, and if you don't mind, I'll keep you all in my prayers. Please keep sharing and let us know how you're doing. Take care - Barbara

Coming home tonight was a real challenge.

Although it's been 9 weeks, I still miss Roentgen meeting me on driveway, and coming in to the house is tough - it' so empty - without life. And as I looked at the kitty door, I swear I caught a sight of his sweet little kitty face - for a moment - it was as if he were on his way out to greet me. And then I looked, and that image was gone, it was only the markings on the kitty door that appeared to be him. (Bad housecleaner!)

Have you caught a glimpse of your beloved departed?

I am so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine more then 1. I just lost my baby Molly yesterday. She was my world. You were a wonderful mother to your babies. I wish I could tell you when the pain goes away but I am way too new to this. I can't stop crying. As for as sightings, I did have something very strange happen earlier. I was attaching my avatar and typing to my forum and the dining room chair where Molly always sat while I was on the computer creaked like it did when she was in it. I jumped and looked. My daughter wasn't in here. I start crying and talking to Molly telling her to keep her spirit around to let me know she is still with me and how terribly I am missing her. I felt silly but a friend said it is very possible her spirit is still in the house. I hear her bell on her color. But the chair creaking was a for sure. So the sighting just may be. Nothing surprises me. I wish I could tell you more. The more I read on here I cry. I try to type and provide support but right now the others are alot better then me. Just know you are in such a wonderful place. Everyone here has been more then welcoming and supportive. Hang in there. I know you are in pain. We all are.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I would love to see a picture of your family.
Kim

Dear Kim,
I am so sorry ot hear of your loss of your good friend, Molly. Take heart, new friend. We feel your pain. You will gain many friends here, and we are all in the same shape. This website really does help.

I know about the creaking chair - I have heard Roentgen scratching on the bed post - and when I have turned on the light - there is no one there.

I have reached out in the middle of the night and felt myself "startle" a kitty - felt them jerk in repsonse to my touch - yet there is no one there when the lights come on!

The large souls that have come in small bodies to share a part of our life are our direct connection to the Beyond - and their love stays with us forever - will never go anywhere! The love we shared with our kitties - the love you shared with your sweet girl Molly - will never die - she will be with you - somehow - for as long as you remember her.

Take heart - this pain is part of the love you STILL share together. She is with you, and will continue to let you know that as long as you are open and aware. You just won't be able to pet her soft fur and hear her purr anymore. But your relationship has transitioned, as I am learning, slowly. Feel that love.

Please let us know how you are doing. Sharing is really helping me in a way that my family or co-workers could not. Bless your heart.

Karen

Karen,

Thank you so much for your words of kindness. I just hid myself away while my daughter was doing her breathing treatment and bawled to Molly's picture and told her to please keep her spirit here with me and to give me signs that she is still here. The chair creaking really did give me comfort as does the ringing of her collar. These nights and early mornings are the worst. Olivia summed it up the best. She didn't want to come home tonight. She didn't want to come in because Molly wasn't here. I still want to see pictures of your babies when you get a chance.

Thank you again for helping me and telling me about your experiences the last couple of months. It helps.

Kim

Dear Karen, your story is so heartbreaking...I can't imagine losing so many loved pets in such a short amount of time. You obviously were a very caring and loving person to them.. I wish I had the words to give you the support you need, I am still trying to find them myself...at least we aren't alone, this web site is so wonderful and supportive, I am learning new things every day, and always getting support back from my crazy thoughts. I also thought I had a weird occurance, in the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly due to a shaking of our bed, it was similiar to when my dog would scratch at night in his bed beside our bed, it would knock on the bed, bam bam bam kind of sound, well for a moment I thought that was what is was, also thought it might be an earth quake, in CA you do think of these things, next morning, husband didn't feel anything, and no news of an earthquake, so I am not sure, but I am hoping to have an experience like that, I want to know or have a sign that he's still around...crazy I know. Well, listen you and all your furry buddies are in my thoughts, Best wishes to you, Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Oh dear our family has suffered another loss.

My sister’s cat, Miss Kitty, 18 years old, passed away yesterday. She was with our family so long, and was truly a member of the family. My sister, Treecie, is heartbroken, as this is really the first pet she has ever lost. Miss Kitty was a sweet little calico female, who was always so grateful to see Treecie walk through the door, and who would purr just at the sound of her voice. She never gave her any trouble, except near the end, when she could not walk anymore.

Treecie was at the vets with her when Miss Kitty passed away. We both feel she is now with our late mother again, who loved her very much. Miss Kitty is also with my departed family members too. And that gives us both some comfort.

Since Miss Kitty died yesterday, Treecie’s other cat, Blackie, has disappeared somewhere. Miss Kitty and Blackie were fast friends through thick and thin, and always slept on the same bed together, never going far from each other’s side. We figure Blackie must be grieving right now.

Poor Treecie. I hope she will visit this website and post Miss Kitty’s picture, as she could find many friends and wisdom here as I did, that can soothe her pain. I am sending her the link now. Thank you to all who will share with her.

Oh I'm so sorry for Treecie. Please tell her I'm sorry she lost Miss Kitty. I hope she finds Blackie soon. I'm sure he is grieving. I hope Treecie can come here.

Thinking of all of you
Lori

Oh I'm so sorry your sister lost her sweet Miss Kitty.Please tell her to come here if she can, this site can help her thur this difficult time.I know it has helped me so much and I would be lost if I had not found it.Tell her about it and let her kow there are others who feel what she's going thur.We can help her,I'm sure of that.I am so terribly sorry your family has had so many losses lately.It is never easy to lose them.My thoughts are with you sister and with you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It seems like so much to have to deal with, happening so soon after your own dear cats. please do encourage your sister to visit here and share her stories and pictures with us. Miss Kitty sounds like a wonderful girl and will make a great addition to our rainbow bridge family, along with your own kitties.