Well,tonight I am writing with a heavy heart.Today marks 3 months since I said goodbye to my boy Sox.It doesn't seem possible that he's been gone that long...Every friday is hard because it forces me to remember that awful friday when he got so sick and his kidneys started to fail.We took him to the vet but there wasn't anything they could do for him.It broke my heart to have to tell them it was okay to put him to sleep.I remember crying so hard it gave me a bad headache and so many mixed up thoughts ran thur my head.I didn't want you to go,I wanted them to be able to make you better but they couldn't.I felt like my heart would break as we brought you home from the vet's for the last time and buried you in our backyard garden.I visited your grave today when I got home from work.It made me sad to think that I will never see you again in this world.You brought your daddy and me so much joy and happiness.We never had kids so to us he was like our only child.I still think of him every day and miss him so much especially at night when the house is quiet and still.His passing has left an empty hole in my heart that I am not sure will ever heal.I know that I must move on but it is so hard to do that...Christmas wasn't the same without him,playing in all the wrapping paper,so curious all the time.Sox,we miss you so much and we will never forget you,sweetie.I hope you will all send me lots of good thoughts tonight,I will need them. Gosh,it is so hard to say goodbye....Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Hello Renee,
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and sharing in your deep sadness of this night. It has been 10 weeks tonight since I last held my beloved T.C. and kissed him and told him how much I loved him for the last time. I remember how I wrapped him in a blanket because he was getting cold but I just couldn't cover his face, like you I was hoping for a miracle. Maybe I thought that if I tried to keep him warm his life force would come back,sounds pretty silly of me doesn't it? I haven't posted here for a long time but I wanted you to know how much I felt the words you wrote. Please take care Renee and know I am thinking of you and Sox and like T.C. he will never be forgotten.
A Friend in Spirit-Kathi

Kathi,thank you so much for your kind words.They mean more to me than you'll ever know.I think of you and T.C. so often and wonder how you are doing.I also include you in my prayers every night.I don't think it's silly that you tried to bring the life force back into T.C., you loved him and you wanted to try anything to bring him back.I know that both Sox and T.C. are at the rainbow bridge and we will see them again.It's a sad day for both of us and my heart goes out to you as well.Thank you for writing.It helps to know that I'm not alone in my feelings.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom forever)

Dear Renee and Kathie, I thinking of you both tonight, it gives me hope that I can still be managing as well as you both seem to be doing, after 3 months...it only be over two weeks for me....you are both in thoughts and prayers, and both your cats are darlings...we had an orange tabby, Frank who left us four years ago, I loved that guy and miss him all the time...be well you two...Tory, Hrudey's momma

Renee,
I'm sitting here staring at my computer screen wishing I had the right words and there just aren't any. I know how much you loved Sox and my heart goes out to you.
Thank you for being my friend during my time of loss too.

Peace&Love
V

Renee - I didn't get a chance to post last night, but wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and your gorgeous little Sox last night on this sad anniversary for you. I just passed my 1st month anniversary for Alley and I understand how you feel about "every friday" because for me its every saturday morning. I look at the clock and think "3 weeks ago at this time she died" "4 weeks ago... etc.".

There is nothing I can say that will take away any of your pain. Just know that I am hurting with you and I am here for you.

Renee,

Thinking of you, and the very handsome Sox on the day following this sad anniversary. Hope you made it through ok.

Sox' picture makes me smile; he looks like hes's dressed for dinner.


Take care,
Dayna

Oh Renee

I know how hard fridays are for you, for me it's mondays. This one was a big one, 3 months! It doesn't seem like they can have been gone so long, does it? Like a bad dream we just can't wake up from. The holidays without them were so sad.

I know how much you love and miss your son, Sox. Honey I'm so sorry for you and your husband. I'm sure somewhere Sox is watching you and loving you. I'm thinking of you.

Love
Lori

Tory,V.,Alleys Mama,Dayna, and Lori,thanks,you guys for the kind and comforting words.They help more than you'll ever know.Last night was a sad night but I managed to make it thur pretty well.I brought out Sox's scrapbook and photo albums and looked thur them even though it made me cry alittle bit.I am trying so hard to stay positive and remember that he is no longer suffering or having to deal with everything he had to go thur.In the few months before he died he went thur alot.He had to get 2 insulin shots a day and be tested for keotones once a day.He couldn't eat any of his favorite foods and lost a lot of weight.It was heartbreaking to watch because he had always been such a healthy boy and always love to eat. It tore me up inside not to be able to give him all of his favorite foods as he was on a very strict diet for the diabetes.So,for that I am grateful....but, I sure do miss him.It never bothered me to have to care for him or give him his shots,etc. I just thought that was what you were supposed to do when someone you loved was sick.I would have done anything to be able to keep him with me but it was not meant to be.It was his time.Now I am left here to grief for him and miss him more than I ever thought I would after this much time has passed.I know you all understand the pain I am going thur because you are dealing with it yourselves.My heart goes out to all of you,especially you,Lori,for our boys died around the same time and you have been such a good friend to me.Thank you everyone.I hope I can give you the same kind of support when you need it.Thinking of you all....Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom forever)

Renee

Our boys did pass close together. I like to think of them together, all dressed up in their tux's and out on the town.

My baby couldn't eat what he wanted either, almost everything made him vomit. So they are out, eating whatever the heck they want! Nothing makes them sick now. Maybe they can get Denis to help them get bacon! (Bacon smelled so good but Moose just couldn't eat it, it made him sick. I'm sure it was not on Sox's diet either. We had to stop eating it, so he wouldn't want it).

The pictures make me cry too, that I get. I'm still so grateful to have them.

Talking care of then was not a burden, I understand. You just do what you have to do, it's just normal. Like you I would have done whatever forever. I often cry when I don't have to do something. Silly but true.

Love
Lori

Renee,
After being without Precious for five months and Tigger for only a month, I can be very honest and tell you that it's true about the old saying "time heals". I miss both of them so much but knowing they're safe, happy and in a better place makes me feel better. I'm not crying much anymore, so I must be healing as well. There will always be an empty place in my heart but Patches is trying his best to make his own spot...and he has accomplished that! If I didn't have him I'm sure I would be sadder but life seems a little brighter with my new black and white baby.
Lisa

Lori,that is soooooooo funny what you said about our boys all dressed up and out on the town together.I get the best mental picture from that! Maybe they did hook up and manage to nab some bacon....No,my boy wasn't allowed to eat any of his favorite foods after he got diabetes.It tore me up to not be able to give him the things that he so loved,and he loved alot of different things.He used to love to eat,of all things, cheetos! Can you believe it?Once when he escaped from the house the only thing that would get him out from under the house was a big ole bag of cheetos.He had ran under the house after my dad left our backdoor open by mistake.He also loved yogart and anything diary.He was a real trip.We used to call him Mr. Mooch as a joke because whenever you tried to eat something he wanted some of it.I hope now that he is eating whatever he wants at the rainbow bridge and has gotten all fat and happy! Thank you,Lori,for putting that picture in my mind.It made me smile to think of my boy hanging out with your boy Moose and all the other kitties and dogs there as well.I hope they all know how much we miss them and love them still.Take care,my friend. Sincerely,Renee

I'm trying to let myself use the word enjoy without feeling guilty but I really did enjoy the stories of Sox and Moose being out on the town together. It was cute! When I moved from Florida to Montana I had rigged up a baby gate between the front seat and the back of the car. I had put the back seat down so there would be room for the cats to move around-I couldn't stand to lock them in carriers. I hadn't driven much more than 75 miles when I saw T.C.'s face in my rear view mirror! Somehow he had managed to get the baby gate down enough to squeeze over the top of it. I pulled into a rest area and got the gate secured again-pretty good I thought, but by the time I got to Georgia he made it into the front seat again! After the third time I gave up! So if the bacon, Cheetos and other goodies are locked behind a babygate, Sox and Moose can just ask T.C. -he's good with gates! Thanks Renee and Lori for giving me a a chance to finally laugh
Kathi

Renee

Oh now that's funny, Sox coming out from hiding for a big bag of Cheetos! Moose liked cheese popcorn. They are such a trip. Moose used to beg for lots of things that smelled so good to him, but if you fed it to him, he just puked it up. So now, at least, he can eat anything he wants. I'm sure Sox is eating his head off, like you said, fat and happy.

We talked with an animal communicator after Moose passed, she said he did know how much we loved him and that he loved us back. I'm not sure how much I believed her or believed in what she does, but for what it's worth, that was very nice to hear. I am sure they know how much we love them, that I'm just sure of in my heart.

Kathi

You can use the word enjoy, and joy without feeling guilty. T.C. loved you and wanted you to be happy, didn't he? Didn't he hate it when you were sad? So you can enjoy things for him.

You are welcome for the laugh, anytime I'll be sure to let Moose know that T.C. is good with gates, great info, ya just never know. Moose was a low rider, bad with gates. He depended on his sister, so now he'll have to look up T.C. BTW if I haven't said it before, T.C. was so handsome!

Love
Lori

Lori and Kathi, oh,you two are so funny..........I love sharing stories of our kitties with one another.I like to think their all hanging out together at the rainbow bridge getting into all kinds of trouble.Sox always like to find way up high places to sleep.It was the funniest thing.....Once when he was a small kitten he somehow found his way up to the top of our refrigerator! He couldn't have weighed more than a few pounds but yet he managed to climb all the way up there.My husband and I looked for him for 30 minutes before we figured out what he had done.We thought maybe he had escaped from the house.Then in his middle years his favorite place to sleep was the top of my closet shelf! He also had this really cool kitty condo that had 3 floors but the only one he liked to hang out on was the top floor.I could go on and on with this subject......Where did you guys kitties like to sleep best? Did they have favorite toys and what were they? Sox had this old gray mouse that had a rope tied to it and he loved that ole thing,he used to drag it around the house all the time and it was so funny to see him with that thing in his mouth.Anyway,I must go for now.Please share your own stories with me if you want to,I'd love to hear them.They make me smile and it's nice to be able to do that again.It's good to remember them when they were in their prime too.Thanks to both of you girls for being such good friends. Take care! Sincerely,Renee (Sox's crazy mom)

I haven't posted for a while but it is so comforting to hear Denis and the bacon still being talked about, 'being remembered'.

I'm now beginning to think that any new arrivals at the happy hunting ground will be going "Hey, who is the guy with the bacon then, they all are talking about that down there on earth", and everyone who was already up there before Denis' arrival were probably saying " Oh it's you is it, we have been waiting to see who this infamous bacon stealer was, welcome, there is bacon aplenty here, raw, cooked, sandwiched, whatever takes your fancy, and for the more varied appet*ite, we have Cheetos, cheese popcorn, and even our very own cake shop around the corner!"

Today I am going to plant some daffodil bulbs on Denis' grave in a hope that they come up in the spring, it is still quite mild here in the UK so hopefully they will take, spring always gives me renewed hope so these will also symbolize my renewed hope in life when they flower.

It will be 4 weeks on Thursday since his passing, it seems the days are shooting past so quickly I can hardly believe it, but you will always be in my thoughts Denis.

Keep the storys coming, it's good to smile for a while...

E.M

I do love the stories we come up about the crazy adventures our furbabies our having on the other side! You know, the Rainbow Bridge is nice and all, but our stories top it by far!

Kathi,
Don't feel guilty for one moment about enjoying these stories. I find them quite comforting. Laughter is the best medicine after all. I've got a quite a few cats holding a meet and greet party for the new arrivals. There will be Cheetos, popcorn, bacon, and mice on the menu. (In case you didn't know, cat heaven is mouse hell.)

Well, now thanks to Sox and Moose it's a black tie event. My Rowdy Thomas was a tuxedo cat too. The rest are just going to have to go shopping...

Love,
V

EM

I don't think any of us will ever forget Denis and his bacon! Alley never liked people food, or most cat food, or anything else, she was so picky! Now and then she would have a little lick of chocolate ice cream from the bowl though, so maybe she can have that instead of the bacon.

The daffodils sound like a beautiful idea and will be a fitting tribute to your wonderful Denis when they bloom.

Well Denis 'bringing home the bacon' is just too funny! I think I'm gonna remember that for a very long time. Yep Moose, Sox, Schtoobing and Rowdy Thomas would make any party a 'black tie' event. My black cats at the bridge want to join the poker party, Pywacket, Bast, and Anubis.

Moose was a 'low rider", he had short legs for a cat. So high places just weren't for him. They sure are for my Autumn, we call her the 'up' kitty. He slept under the Christmas tree when it was up, but he liked the middle shelf of the cat tower. It put him right in front of the window, so he slept there day and night. He loved to watch the birds in the feeder just outside the window, it was a 3D TV for him. Sometimes he liked the bed, it's amazing how much room that cat could take up on the bed! We had to buy a king size bed to get any room at all! LOL

Moose's favorite toy was a ball, any light ball. If you rolled it to him he would bat it back, over and over. He and his daddy played fetch for hours, but the switch was, daddy was the one doing the fetching!

I used to kid Moose that he went out during the full moon and danced. Now he doesn't have to wait for the moon. I hope there is a lot of tuna, his favorate food which he couldn't eat, there too. Yum! Oh and chocolate ice cream for Alley.

Thank you Renee for being a good friend.

Love
Lori

This has been wonderful for me! My heart feels so much lighter thanks to all of you. T.C.'s favorite place to sleep was on the bed-he was a burrower. Even if it was warm he loved to tunnel under the covers and sleep. Even though I live by myself, I had to get a queen size bed years ago just so I would have a place to sleep! So Lori, I know what you mean about having to get your king size. Between T.C. and his fur brother and sister, they knew just how to position themselves so I would have as little space as possible! T.C.'s favorite toy was a catnip stuffed little dinosaur. He had it for close to 10 years so it was starting to look really bedraggled. There were several times at night I would hear him making this horrible unearthly howling and I thought he was really sick. I would pick him up and he seemed to be fine. It seemed so frequent I thought something was really wrong with him-he sounded so sickand it was after I went to bed. One night I was at the computer and he started howling again-here he comes down the hallway with the dinosaur in his mouth! I guess he was just announcing he was bringing me his toy and wanted to play. He did that for many years and it took me a long time to get used to it. I think he figure out too that I would get up and give him some attention even it it was the middle of the night! In his 23 years he trained me pretty well. The night he crossed I tucked it in with him so he could take it with him. I can just picture him carrying it around and yowling and keeping all your babies awake.
Visla and Lori you are so right, I don't have to feel any guilt over enjoying and laughing about the antics of everyone's furkids. They are very healing to me. It just took me a long time to be able to know that I can mourn and yet be able to see how much joy my little furangel has brought me and can still bring to me.
Oh yes, T.C. really liked Cheetos and popcorn and Alley better guard her ice cream bowl!! Denis won't have to worry too much about T.C. trying to nab his bacon-he was more of a chicken man so long as it was dark meat!

Oh,my god,you guys are cracking me up! I just love these stories.....I'll never forget the story about Denis and his bacon either,it is too funny to forget! I can just picture him and Sox and Moose and T.C. and all the rest of the furbabies at the rainbow bridge having a heck of a time.....They can eat all the junk food they want to now...That story about the little dinosar is so precious,I just loved it.Sox did something like that all his life.He would be howling away in the kitchen like he was in agony and when you went in there he would just look at you like hey,what took you so long.We tried for years to catch him in the act of doing it but I was never successful.Being a manx he was able to make some very strange sounds indeed.....Sox also had this feather thing that was on a stick and when you would bring that out his eyes would get huge and he would play with it for hours and then he would be so tired that he would just fall down on the floor and sleep where he landed! He would hiss and growl at that feather like it was alive.My husband and I used to laugh so hard at him,it was soooo funny.I really miss playing games with him and watching all his crazy antics.I hope the next kitty I get will be half as fun as Sox was.He was definately an original.Sox was also a burrower.We live in florida and it doesn't really get that cold here but if it got even alittle bit cold you would find him up under the still made up bed.He looked just like a little lump...if you lifted the blankets to see him he would give you this look like,hey,do you mind,I'm trying to get some rest here...Did any of your all's cats ever sleep in shoe boxes? Sox would try to fit his big ole 20 pound body into a shoebox.I even have a picture of that somewhere.It was so cute.Thanks to all of you for helping me feel so much better and for the trip down memory lane.Keep on posting your funny and sweet memories,I love hearing about them.And Kathi I'm glad you feel like it's okay to laugh again.Your baby would want you to be happy again.When we remember them we are keeping them alive in our hearts and our minds.Thanks again to everyone who responded.Can't wait to hear more of your stories and memories.Take care all and thans too for being such good friends to me.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom forever)

Ooooppsss,I forgot to mention...thanks to Tory, and V., and Alley's mama, and Dayna, and Lisa, and E.M. for responding to this post.I have loved hearing about your beloved pets.It helps so much to know that I am not alone in my feelings.It makes me feel better to know that I'm not crazy for grieving so much for an animal.They were all so much more than just animals,they were family members.E.M. I'll never forget the story of Denis and his famous bacon...I hope he is sharing it with all of the others at the rainbow bridge.Can't you just picture that??I bet their all dressed up and having a grand ole time together (Sox and Moose already have their tuxedos on so they are ready..)haha Take care everyone and thanks from the bottom of my heart.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's some what crazy mom)

No Worries Lori!

Copper, being the cat lover that he is, will give him a boost until he is done installing the elevators! I can just picture Copper now -- wearing a hard hat and tool belt.....

He loved all my cats so much. We used to call him the "cat referee". If the cats ever started fighting with each other, he was right there breaking it up. Once the neighbor's dog got in our yard and chased one of the cats who was outside. Copper got rid of him in a hurry! Copper will make a great body guard for all our cats during their adventures.

And I KNOW he's just going to LOVE Denis most of all!

Love,
V

Oh T.C. and his dinosaur! I love that story. 23 years is such a long time to have one, I had one 22 years. My Butch went to the bridge 10 years ago. It's hard to lose any of them. When you have had them for so long, it seems there is not a memory in your life that didn't include them. I'm so happy, Kathi that you can laugh and find joy again. T.C. won't just be okay with that, he'll be joyful.

Your guys who were burrower's that's so cool. Moose liked to 'help' change the sheets on the bed. Of course chasing the sheets and blankets isn't too much help but it was so funny! It always amazed me that he could find the edge and get out even after he got 'made up' in the bed. (yes we were very careful not to leave him under long, and yes the bed looked like hell, but who cared)?

Moose loved any kind of box, he loved to lay in a box and rip pieces off and fling them all over the house. Now Autumn did indeed try to fit into a shoe box, she is about 14 pounds so she kinda fit. It did look like a big meatloaf stuffed into a small pan, LOL.

Oh and thanks Cooper! Moose the 'low rider' will be sure to look you up! Oh how we used to laugh at that 'low rider' thing. We put chairs up to counters and things so he could get up anyway


All kitties are fun, he'll be as much fun, just not in the same way. Like you said, Sox was an original. My new kitty, Majik, is a hoot. He does something that makes me laugh every day. He is very smart, and loves to figure things out. He watches everything we do. He puts his little head on one side and then the other, you can almost hear him think. He has learned to turn on the water in the bathroom sink, and get his own drink of 'wild water'. He had been and outside kitty, so didn't know about inside stuff like furniture, but he got that food came out of the fridge after we opened it and got him something one time.

Oh yes chicken at the bridge! A must have. We had gotten so that we bought Moose a rotisserie chicken every Saturday, he so loved them. I haven't be able to go past the counter at the store, let alone eat one since he passed. So I'm thinking there are rotisserie chicken's, with garlic, at the party at the bridge. It's cool for T. C. too, 'cause Moose was a white meat guy, so they can share. Oh and the other thing that just has to be there is lots of catnip, to roll in, to eat, yummy!

Love
Lori

Alley loved to sleep in the windows but the ledges were pretty narrow and she was pretty wide, so she didn't fit very well. Many times she was sound asleep and went to stretch or roll over or something and fell out!

She also loved boxes like Moose! Any kind of box, if you put one down, she'd be in it minutes later. When she started getting a little older, and more 'settled' she decided her place was smack in the middle of my bed and although she would spend several hours a day sleeping in the closet behind storage boxes, or under the bathroom sink, at night, she always came to bed. Alley didn't like making the bed though. She would hop down to the floor, sit there and glare at me until I was done so she could get back up and sleep!

Oh my goodness...we could go on with this forever, and I hope we do.It is so enjoyable to read the stories everyone keeps posting every night.They make me remember such good times with Sox.Tomorrow it is friday again and that makes me sad to think that yet another week has passed without him in my life.I miss him so much but it is getting easier to remember the good times instead of the bad.When Sox was little we lived in a very small house downtown and he would hide behind corners at night and when you got up to go to the bathroom he would attack your feet....we used to get so mad at him for doing that but now when I think back on those nights I just have to laugh about it.He took it so serious.I would hear my husband screaming his name out in the morning when he was up getting ready for work and he would get attacked...I would just chuckle to myself and think how funny it was....We used to have a manual typewriter and whenever one of us would use it he would get up on the table behind you and watch your fingers hitting the keys.I even took a picture of him one time actually perched in front of it and it looked exactly like he was typing himself! We put this funny sticker on one of them that said Hey,where's the paper?? How funny.....Sox,I hope you know how much we miss you and think of you and all the other furbabies that are with you at the rainbow bridge.I hope they have popcorn because when he could eat it it was his all time favorite food.He would hear the microwave running and smell it cooking and he would go bonkers! We would always end up giving him his own little bowl just so he would leave us alone long enough to eat it.I know you guys are right about a new kitty being different than Sox and that is okay with me.I know Sox was one of a kind and the new kitty I pick will be an original too.I can't wait to get another baby boy.This house is way too lonely without the antics of a kitty.Sox would want us to give our love to another.People who are animal lovers can never go long without one in their lives.Did your all's pets ever knead dough? What I mean by that is kneading their paws on some soft surface.Sox did that all the time and it was so cute.Our new girl kitty Miss Mini did it so much when we first found her that is why we named her that.Her full name is Miss Mini Baker (ya know,mini baker,kneading her dough)I hope everyone will please continue to share as many stories and memories that you have of your pets.I love hearing them and they make me smile.Take care all and thank you for being such kind friends to me.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Renee

Alley used to knead like that when she got in bed at night. Sometimes I would have to move her because she seemed to like doing it to my arm! ouch! I know that there will never be another Alley, unless someday she is reborn into another kitten, which is a belief I've been trying to grasp lately, not sure if I think this really happens or not. I'd like to think so though, because then someday my Alley might come back to me. I can't imagine going much longer without a cat. I have always had one in my life, for as long as I can remember. They won't be Alley, but they will have their own special qualities and I just can't help thinking that there is a little guy out there somewhere who needs a happy home that I know I can give him.

I was talking to my brother on the phone last night and my 5 year old nephew got on the line to say hi. He asked me when Alley was going to be done sleeping in her box because he didn't get to play with her for a long time and he wanted her to play with him. Of course, I started crying like a baby and had to have him get my brother back on the phone so I could hang up. In a way it made me feel good after a while though, because it was just a little thing, knowing that I'm not the only one in the world missing her. he doesn't understand what happened really, he just knows she is "sleeping in her box under the rosebush" and he is waiting for her to wake up and play. Oh how I wish...

Oh yes, Moose made bread, in fact pretty much all kitties do. What that is, is when they are kittens, they have knead around the mommies nipple, to get the milk out. It becomes a way to say I'm soooo happy. So when they grow they still do it, when they are comfortable and happy. They usually purr as they are doing it. I so love to get them making biscuits. Most will do it on a soft surface, like your tummy! LOL, but not always. Some will do it anywhere.

Miss Mini Baker, now that is a cute name for a kitty. Loved your story about Sox and the typewriter too!

Majik attacks feet and ankles. My husband does what I call the 'Majik dance' every morning. He giggles and does the dance and Majik 'gets' his ankles when he gets out of bed. This morning we gave Majik a few pieces of ham, OMG. He knocked the all over, pounced on them and 'killed' them before he ate them. It was too funny. See you need a new baby to make you smile too .

Love
Lori

Moon Cat used to knead WITH his claws out on a couple softer spots higher than the belly - if you know what I mean! OW! Not so much a fond memory there, sorry.

Most of mine were little bread makers too. Buddy Boy used to keep me up all night kneading my neck and purring really loudly into my ear. The rest weren't so obnoxious about it. It's their way of saying they're having flashbacks to being a safe cozy little kitten when the world was perfect. The weirdest example I have is MicMac, one of the Tabby Brothers here. He lays on his back and kneads all four feet up into thin air while you rub his belly. I have never seen such a thing!

Alley's Mom, that's hard hearing about your nephew. I agree, it is comforting you're not alone in missing her. It's too bad your brother didn't explain it better to him better than sleeping though. My boys have gone through quite a few losses themselves starting at an early age. Dealing with the loss our our pets together helped us prepare for when the time came to deal with the loss of their grandfathers. The ideas of death and grief and mourning weren't new to them even though they were young. So it wasn't a complete shock to be surrounded by the entire family grieving. Not that it wasn't easy, but it did help a little. My youngest was 8 when his dad's father died and he was the one who pointed out that "Grandpa is in Heaven with Toe-B and God." Everyone loved how he gave our dog top billing.

Love,
V

Alley's mama,Lori,and V., you guys are just the best! I absolutely love the stories you tell about your kitties.I think it's neat how they still make bread even when they are grown up.It helps you to know when they are the happiest.Miss Mini does it all the time,not just at night.I've even seen her doing it while she was walking up a sidewalk!She's a trip and she makes us laugh and we're glad to have her.Well,it's friday again and you guys know what that means...another week has come and gone since my boy passed on.It's hard to believe it's been 3 months and 1 week since that awful day.Driving home from work tonight I was thinking about that day and how bad it was for us.I hope my boy knows how much I miss him and think of him.I stopped by the humane society shelter on my way home and visited with the kitties.They had a beautiful black and white kitten (9 weeks old) who was on hold but the lady that works there said sometimes people put them on hold and then change their mind so I gave her my name and number and she's going to call me if they do.That kitty Brownie that I talked about in an earlier post had been adopted.I was sad not to see him but I was so happy that he found a new home.They had several kitties there that I could have taken home,sure wish I had a big ole farm then I would adopt a whole bunch of cats.It's a nice place though and they treat them well and they are never put to sleep inless they are ill.Oh, I forgot to mention,did any of your all's cats ever tear up toilet paper? Sox loved to get on it like a treadmill and tear it to shreads, it was so funny but at the time I would get mad at him (ya know,toilet paper ain't cheap) but now it is a very fond memory that I have of him.He did so many funny and interesting things over the years.It got so bad with the toilet paper for awhile we had to shut the bathroom door when we weren't home so he wouldn't go in there and ruin every roll we had!One time while my dad was visiting he escaped from the house when my dad went out to buy a newspaper.It was a cold and rainy morning and when I discovered that he had gotten out I was hsyterical...I grapped my coat and went to the backdoor to go out to look for him and there he was,sitting on the lowest step,covered in cobwebs! We think he went under the opening under the house to get warm.He wasn't out there long but once he got out he knew he didn't like it one bit.He had a few adventures over the years.When he was just a kitten we lived in a house that had a screened in back porch and he used to slip thur this tiny little tear in the screen and escape.My husband would patch it up but he would just rip it open again and again.We had to stop letting him out there, we started calling him an escape artist.....So many fond memories.I am missing him tonight so much.I sure wish he was still with us even though I know in my heart that it was his time to go.Forever wouldn't have been long enough to have him in my life.There will never be another cat like him and I hope he knows just how much he is sorely missed.I'll be thinking about all the stories you all have shared with me tonight.It does help to remember the good times we shared,doesn't it? As long as we remember them in our hearts,they never really truly die.So,come on now,let's hear some more tales about your wonderful furbabies......Take care all and you will all be in my prayers tonight.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Hello Renee, I am thinking of you and Sox tonight and I can't believe how the time has gone by either. It will be almost 3 months that T.C. has been gone but it sometimes seems just like yesterday. The memory is so vivid. I have been so fortunate to have my other furbabies to help me through. I don't know if I have ever told you about them or if you've read about them in another thread-I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. My now oldest one is Sara. She was abandoned at my workplace when I lived in Florida. She had been staying around for about a week. There was alot of constuction and traffic so I was really fearful for her. So I decided to adopt her, took her to the vet and had her checked. I wasn't sure how she would get along with T.C. but they seemed to tolerate one another! After while she became a fun play mate and company for T.C. About a year later Shadow came into my life. He was a tiny wild kitten who started hanging around the house. I started to leave food and water out for him but he wouldn't let me get close to him for almost 3 weeks. He finally started coming up to me I knew I would fall for his charming ways and he probably did too! So I made another trip to the vet to be sure he was healthy before I introduced him to T.C. and Sara. He immediately latched on to T.C. he followed him everywhere and they became really close. He would snuggle up to T.C. to sleep-it was so cute.I've had Shadow for just over 8 years and during that time he and T.C. were almost inseparable. My kitty family was growing! Seven years ago we all moved to Montana (Sara and Shadow assisted T.C. in that terror trip across country!) with my sister. I thought, no more kitties but I know I could be suckered!! A year ago last August a cat was hit by a car in front of where I work now and just left to die. I couldn't stand it so I took him to the vet so see if he could be saved. His jaw was fracture and he had bitten through his tongue and it was almost severed. He had a brain injury that caused him to drag his front leg. I talked to the vet to see if he could be saved and they told me his injuries were severe but there was a chance. That's all I needed to hear! He came through his surgery pretty well but it was still iffy. I was able to take him home a few days later and he gradually began to improve. I was so worried having him at home by myself! The vet called me every night for a week to see how he was doing-I was so grateful for that. The feeling in his leg started coming back after about a month and he could walk on it. He's doing really well now-he still has a limp but he can run through the house and manage to jump up on the kitchen counter! I am so proud of him. He's all black and fluffy and I named him Midnight Louie after a cat in a series of books I read. He will always be my little miracle baby. I guess I've rambled enough but I wanted to share my other furbabies with you. Thinking of you always, Love, Kathi

Kathi,thank you for sharing your stories,especially the one about your miracle baby.Wow! What a fighter he is! I bet he is one great cat.I like hearing about all your cats.You sound like this friend of mine who always seems to end up with the cats who need a home the most.She has 4 cats right now but I'm sure if another one came along that needed a home she would make room for one more.That's just the kind of person she is,she loves animals.She also has 2 dogs and a bunny.I've always had cats my whole life.When I was a child we had 2 kitties,Sugar and Honey,who were brother and sister.I loved those cats so much.We had Honey for 23 years and he even got his picture in the paper when he turned 20.Then in high school we had Sousa and her baby Sqeaky (who was the last of a liter of 6 kitties that we couldn't find a home for so we kept him).Then when I was about to finish high school I got a siamese kitty named Nosey.He was a terrific cat and I loved him so much.When I moved down to Florida years later I left him with my Mom because she loved him too and I was moving in with my sister Lori and she had dogs at the time.It broke my heart to have to leave him and I still think of him now and then.He went to the rainbow bridge a few years later.Then of course there was the famous Sox who you know plently about since I ramble on about him so often.We had him for almost 17 years.I guess once you have cats you find you can't live without them.I always dreaded the day that Sox would pass away but I never thought it would happen the way it did.It broke my heart to watch him struggle so and be so sick.I would have done anything to save him.And now I have Miss Mini Baker who's about 1 year old and cute as a button.I'm also looking for a new baby boy,maybe I already told you about that.Sorry if I'm rambling on...I think it does help to go down memory lane once in awhile.I hope you have a nice weekend.Is it cold where you are? Oh,duhh,I guess so since you told me you live in Montana now.When you lived in Florida where about's did you live? We live right outside St. Augustine (it's the oldest city in the U.S.) It hardly ever gets cold here,maybe for a night or two but that's about it.Well,I guess I will go for now.Please continue your stories of all your wonderful pets,I love hearing about them.It makes me feel better to remember the good times and not focus on the bad times.Thanks for being a good friend.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Renee,

MicMac, the kitty I have here that kneads bread in thin air, also likes to rip up toilet paper like Sox did. He also likes to grab full rolls of paper towels and wrestle them to shreds. And he enjoys pulling all the kleenex out the the box too. Maybe after he's gone it will be a fond memory of one of the cute little things he did. Right now it's just annoying. Would you like me to mail him to you so you can borrow him for a few weeks? Just until I can stock up paper products.

Kathi, that is so awesome of you to take in your miracle baby and help him out! That really shows what kind of person you are. If just half the people in this world could be more like you, things would be so much better for everyone.

Love,
V

Reene

I'm so sorry you feel so sad, it's so hard to move on and keep thinking one month, two months, three months. It's like a bad dream we keep wishing we could wake up from. Your Miss Mini sounds like a hoot! Kneading on the sidewalk while she's walking, too funny. I loved the stories of your babies, thanks for sharing.

Moose didn't get the tp, but I've had a couple of cats who did! One day we came home to find my Alex kitty has taken end of the tp off the roll, and wrapped all the legs of the funiture in the living room with them! He did a good job too. We keep our tp in cupboard in the bathroom, Autumn loves to get in and knock a couple of rolls out, then 'kill' them. Sometimes I try to use the roll after she is done, but she doesn't leave much, LOL. Tp is pricey as a toy. Majik had just discovered the joys of a full roll of paper towels, woo hoo. So far he can't get them himself, but oh if I am cleaning and leave one out!

I got mad at my Moosie and asked him "do you HAVE to throw up EVERY day?" the morning of the day he died, god I wish I hadn't done that. I really didn't mind cleaning it up, some days you just lose it. Bad mommy.

V-angel


Ow and LOL, sorry but funny.

Kathi

Wow what a great family, thanks for sharing. They sound like a great bunch. I'm so happy to hear that Midnight Louie is doing so well, you are special to take him on. I'm sure he thanks you too! Your T. C. was such a great cat. Sometimes it does seem like a short time they have been gone, and sometimes it seems like forever. Moose will have been gone 3 months on Tuesday. Sometimes it seems like a dream we ever had him. We keep wishing we would wake up and he would be here.

Love
Lori

Lori,I know what you mean about it feeling like a bad dream that you'll wake up from but don't... I feel the exact same way about Sox.This morning I went out to visit his grave that's in our backyard garden.His grave is so beautiful with the memory river stone and the flowers.Such a special place for a special boy.I so wish that I hadn't gotten mad at my boy on his last day either.He wouldn't eat his breakfast and because of that I couldn't give him his insulin shot.I left for work all mad at him for making me worry about him so much.Then when I came home that afternoon it was obvious that he was very very ill and I felt terrible about the things I had said to him that morning.If I could,I would take all those things back.I never minded cleaning up after him,I guess it was just a part of loving him.Now that he's gone I yearn to do those things again.I guess I just miss having him around.I have good days and bad days but the bad days are coming less and less.The nights are still hard because that's when I have time to think about him more and then I find myself sad and feeling alone.It helps so much to be able to come to this site and write down my feelings.I'm still looking to adopt another kitty but the one that was on hold got adopted so I guess I will continue to search until I find just the right one.I'll find him,I know I will.My Sox would have loved today,it's so beautiful here.The temps are in the 70's and it's sunny and so nice.He would have spent the whole day upside down out on the front enclosed porch.He loved it out there.Boy,do I miss seeing him enjoying himself out there.I will just keep thinking happy thoughts about him and I hope he knows how much he is missed and loved forever by his family.Hope you guys are having a good weekend. Please continue to share your happy times with your kitties with me,I love hearing about them and it helps so much to know there are so many others out there who love and miss their animals as much as I do.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Renee

I hear you, I think my bad days are coming less and less. Although there are still bad times. I do feel more calm, mostly.


Talking care of them IS loving them. I'm sure you, like me, were just so worried and upset FOR him, as much as at him. Cleaning up after them is just a part of it, and like you I so miss doing it. While what I said to Moose I meant, I also meant " why do you have to keep being so sick, baby". I felt so bad for him, he hated to vomit so.

I know they know we still love them, and miss the hell out of them.

Yep the right kitty will be there for you, and you will find him. Once you start to look, it just takes time. I know the special guy who will just LOVE you and your home is waiting for you.

It's 70 where you are? OMG, I have to move! LOL We have very cold temps-right around O and SNOW AGAIN. Yep I live in Denver, CO. Not a fun place this winter. It's like my mood I think, dark and depressing. We hit some kind of snow record this year, like most snow ever or something. Enjoy your sunshine!

Love
Lori

Oh I know what you all mean wishing the loss of our babies is just a bad dream but can't wake up from it. Renee, I'm so glad Sox's final resting place can bring you some comfort and it's beauty can give you a small sense of peace. When spring comes I plan to plant a rosebush at T.C.'s gravesite. It was too cold when I buried him. I'd like to think that part of T.C. will become part of the rosebush and it helps me to see him live on.
I've been going through some pictures this weekend and have found alot of T.C. They have brought back so many good memories. One of them is of him standing at the doorway experiencing his first snow. Being a Florida kitty he had never seen it so he was undecided what to do with it! He finally stepped out in it sniffing at the snow and shaking his paws the whole time. He was so funny. He decided he'd had enough of that cold stuff on his feet and ran back inside. He was perfectly content looking at it from the window! Right now there is snow on the ground, it's in the mid 30's and sunny. It has been a very mild winter so far.
I had been to St. Augustine twice when I lived in your neck of the woods. It is so fascinating to see the wonderful architecture. I lived in St. Petersburg/Largo and Madiera Beach for awhile. All the towns run together on the gulf side so you could move 2 miles away and be in another town!
I've had cats my whole life too. Sometimes it's so hard to look back and remember all our babies from the past knowing they are now gone. Your Honey was the same age as T.C.! If they find one another at the Rainbow Bridge I bet they'll have lots to talk about! I love hearing about Miss Mini and all her antics. She still has alot of the kitten mischief in her-that is so much fun! I have to go for now. I'll say a prayer for you and Sox tonight hoping each night will become a little less sad and lonely for you. Even when all my kitties are on the bed I'm still wishing T.C. was there too and burrowing under the covers. One of the things that has helped me a little is I put on an audio book when I go to bed. It gives me something to try and concentrate on so I don't have to listen to silence.
Thinking of you all, love Kathi

Lori and Kathi, I am glad we are continuing this thread because I have started to look forward to reading your replies every day.It really does help to know there are others who are struggling with the same kind of pain as I am.Kathi,I'm sure your T.C. and my Honey are in some old timers club at the rainbow bridge.They are probably keeping all the youngsters in line.Maybe they get together and play poker on the weekends...haha.Today was a good day for me.It was beautiful here and my husband and I enjoyed the day together.We talked about Sox and I told him about all the cool people I've been writing to in this forum.He said he was glad I had found a place like that.I know that every day somewhere someone is losing a beloved pet and that just makes me so sad, but I also know that every day somewhere someone is getting a brand new baby and starting the circle of life all over again.It's a beautiful thing.Yes, little Miss Mini is a trip at times...she does the craziest stuff around the house.She is so different than Sox,their personalities are like oil and water.Sox was kind of a bully if you didn't know him and Miss Mini will love on just about anyone (when she chooses to)Sox would love at her thur the back door when he was still alive and she would go crazy hissing at him and him would just sit there and look at her like hey,chick,what is your problem?? Lori,I didn't know you lived in Denver! It's been snowing like crazy there for weeks now...what on earth do you do when the weather is like that? Yes,I love living in Florida and the weather is nice most of the year,but we do have the biggest bugs in the whole world! I guess it's a trade off for not having to deal with the snow and ice.Lori,I'll be thinking of you tomorrow,I know how hard mondays are for you.Your Moose and my Sox are probably hanging out together and I'm sure they have run into T.C. by now too! Thanks to both of you for your friendship and for helping me to feel better.I hope I have helped you guys too.Our babies will always know how very much we all loved them!!! Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Renee

Yeah I live in Denver, usually it's nice. This winter has been so different for us. We often get a 1 or 2 foot snowfall, but usually it's once a winter. This winter we got the first one just before Christmas, and it was 2 to 3 feet. Since then it's snowed about a foot every weekend. Snowed a foot yesterday and they are forcasting more for Saturday. Me I stay in . Poor hubby, he has a job that he has to drive several places every day, it's just a mess. Record snowfalls and below 0 temps, sigh. The roads are such a mess. I've been to Miami, nice and warm. I think I liked Hawaii the best of all the warm places I've been.

Hey if there is an old timers club at the rainbow bridge, my Butch is there too. He was 22 when he passed, and my best friend in the world. He's been gone 10 years and I still miss him. Somedays I still don't know how to be me without him. I would be holding him and say, 'give mommy a kiss' and he always licked my nose. It's so long, I hope he's still waiting for me.

Mondays are hard, one more week ya know. And this Monday is extra hard because tomorrow Moose will have been gone 3 months. I need a Moosie hug so bad right now.

You have helped me more than you know, Renee. Thank you. Everyone here has been such a help, I'm so greatful for this site and all of you.

Love
Lori

Lori,I am thinking of you tonight.I know your Moose passed away 3 months ago today and my heart goes out to you.I know just how that feels as I just passed the 3 month mark with Sox.It doesn't get any easier,does it?I know how much you loved him and how much you miss him.As for Butch you better believe that he's hanging out with the old timers at the rainbow bridge.And as for whether he's still waiting for you,well,over there time does not exist so for him it was like yesterday when he left you so he is definately still waiting for you.He's hanging out with Moose and Sox and all the rest of the furbabies.I can't believe the weather you guys have been having this winter.I take it you don't work outside the home? I envy you if you don't, I've always wanted to be able to stay at home and not have to work outside the home.I wait tables during the lunch shift at a seafood restaurant,I like it okay and the money is good so it's not so bad.We could never have kids so to us Sox was always like our baby.I always thought of us as a family. I know what you mean about needing a hug from your boy,I sure could use a bunch of hugs from my Sox.You've helped me more than you can know too and I sure do appreciate it.Everyone on this site has been awesome to me and they are so thoughtful and understanding.I don't know what I would have done without it! Take care and you'll be in my thoughts tonight.I know how much you miss your Moose and I sure wish I could help more than I have.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

I just wanted to add my thoughts to Lori on this sad anniversary for her. I will light a candle for your Moose tonight.

As for the weather, its been very cold here, but no snow, so I would gladly take some of the snow that you are having if you want to send it my way!

AlleysMama

Thanks so much for thinking of my Moosie, I'm so sad. You can have all the snow you want! Here is some coming your way.

Renee

You know while my head says there is no time there, somedays I get pretty crazy thinking how long it's been. Did Butch wait for me? My heart doesn't always get the no time thing. I told Moose to go to Butch the night he died, even then I wasn't sure. I'd get such comfort from thinking of them together. Butch loved kittens and he would have loved Moosie even though he went to the bridge 3 months before we got the Moose. I don't know why I can't seem to put them together in my mind.

Moose was my son and Autumn is my daughter. For me, add hubby and we had the perfect family. I can't have kids, but that never seemed like a big deal, I had cats. Now my family is broken. I keep trying to fit Majik in but things are just not right. Here I am talking about new realities, and I know someday my new family will perfect, but right now it's just messy.

No I don't work. I had a bad car accident in 1989 and got banged up pretty bad. I do okay, but I've been a housewife since. That way I get the naps I need. I have good days and bad days with that too. I prefer the physcial pain to the emotional pain I think. I'm at MMI, so I'm not going to get better. Now that was a reality change that was hard to get used to. Hey you take what life gives you and learn to live with it. Piff now if I could just apply that to when my babies die...

Thank you for remembering my Moose kitty
Love
Lori

Lori,if you don't mind me asking,what is MMI? I'm sorry you had a bad car accident and that is why you can't work anymore.My husband and I were in a bad car accident 2 years ago and by the grace of God we weren't badly injured.I'm sorry you've had some bad times in your life.I know just what you mean about your kitties being a part of your family.My husband and I can't have kids either and so for us it was always just me and him and our Sox.Miss Mini is nice but I don't think she will ever come close to being what Sox was to us.He was our son.I miss that so much! As to what I said about time not being the same at the rainbow bridge as it is here what I mean is to them it only seems like it's been just a few minutes since they left us.That's the way it is over there.I've read many books that all say this and it makes sense.My husband's dad died when he was only 18 years old and he truly believes that in heaven his dad is still waiting for him.Your Moose and your Butch have found each other.How do I know this? Because they both loved you and your husband.That means they will now be together and they will have company while they wait for you and your husband to get there to join them.I know it's hard to grasp that concept but I really do believe that is what happens.I know my boy Sox is now hanging out with all my other pets that passed away before him.I'll be thinking of you tonight and I hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Oh Renee, thank you so very very much for your post in T.C.'s special place. It's so nice to be able to talk to him there and read to him what you wrote. i just pray that somehow he can hear me and to let know that he is still with me every day. It seems like tonight I am having a horrible time putting into words what I'm feeling. I have just read the posts for Moose and Nissa and the recent losses of precious furbabies and my heart feels like it has been shredded. I'm so sorry to be so down tonight-I think reading some of the posts just hit me really hard. Thank you for listening and for always being here for me-you are really a special person.

i love reading about all thethings our furbabies do..renee, thanks for all your comforting words you have given me..when i was feeling down the othe day. i wanted to share this picture. you see i think my cat always thought she was a dog and would drink out of the toliet(i know ick but it was always clean and fresh)..so i snapped a pic of her doing just that..only thing was the dogs were neat about it. they drank and then left the bathroom.. kitten however would drink then get in get her feet wet and then walk around the seat so when you went to sit down and didnt lok before sitting you got soaked...so this one is a real gem of a picture..

Kathi,you are so welcome.It is my pleasure to try to make you feel less alone and sad.I come here for the same reasons as everyone else does,it makes me feel better.Your T.C. was such a special boy and he will always be remembered.I was honored to be able to give him a tribute.I think your a pretty special person yourself,thank you for being there for me and everyone else on this site.We are grateful to have you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Renee

MMI is 'maximum medical improvement'. Kinda what the docs tell you when they can't do anything.

I do understand the no time thing, I can get it in my head. I have no trouble with the scientific part of it. I even think that one of the reasons we are in a body on the Earth is so we can have sidereal (moving from past to future) time. It just seems so long to me that my heart has trouble buying it. I'm working on my heart here, I'm sure one day I'll get it.

Thanks for all your kind words and thoughts. Today is a better day.

KatSpirit

I'm so sorry yesterday was so hard for you. Some of the posts just make me sob. Seems like you never know what is going to hit you right in the heart.

michelles kitty

Oh too funny! To go potty and have a wet hinny! I love it. That is a great picture of Kitten's bum! Wow she had great colors, very beautiful.

Love
Lori

I just wanted to say, Renee was one of the first people to comfort me when I lost Schtoobing. Her words and the words of so many of you were so soothing to my shattered heart in those first hours...days...weeks. Despite your own loss, Renee- you have a gift for comforting others. Your Sox was such a handsome boy and was blessed to have such a great mom.

I haven't been around much, but I've thought of you guys so much. It's been 10 weeks since Schtoob died, and I still think of him and wish for him all the time. No one asks me about him any more. My mom thinks I should visit some kitties at the humane society, but I'm not ready for that. I keep thinking- I already had the best baby and any other cat is not gonna be right for me. What if I get a cat who doesn't like me? What if we don't get along? What if I start to obsess over the new baby, and freak out every time he doesn't feel well? I find myself going over and over that last day with Schtoob. How I just left him at the vet so casually, and it was the last time I ever saw his sweet face! How could I have just left him there like that? He was in a cage, in a room full of strange people and animals when he died. He should have been in my arms. I will never forgive myself.

I'm sorry to dump all this in your thread, Renee. Just when I think I might be progressing a little, all of this comes out. I know you understand.

Schtoobing's Mom

I'm so happy to see you here, I have been wondering about you. I think about you and Schtoobing a lot. Here I was hoping you've been doing so much better you just didn't need the site any more.

If you're not ready for a new kitty, you're just not. I think you know when you are ready. Of course it won't be Schtoobing, but you can and will build a wonderful new relationship with the new one. Remember it takes time, it's easy to love a kitten, but to have a relationship and a love takes time. Doesn't really matter if you get a kitten or an older baby.


If you love and take care of a cat, it loves you. Pick the one at the shelter who WANTS to come to you for love, that helps. Our new kitty was born outside, didn't know people, and was so scared of hands. He's lived with us two months and just HAS to be with someone all the time now, he loves to be loved. All cats just love attention. (Okay that's a lie, MOST cats. Some are too afraid of people, but with time and patience that can usually change too).
For a while you may obsess a bit, freak out every time it sneezes. I did, but each time I just told myself he was healthy and talked myself down again. I'm sure you can do that too.
Honey would Schtoob want you to be so hard on yourself? You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. The best you can is the most anyone can ask of you, even you. If you had KNOWN he was dying, you would have been with him. I wish they had an expiration date pasted on their bums, but I guess that would be hard too. I think of all the things I would have done differently if I had KNOWN. We just didn't and we did the best we could with all our love for our babies.

How about this? What if a new kitty brings a lode of love into your life? What if it's just what you need. Schtoobing taught you how to really love and take care of a cat. What if you honor Schtoobing and his teaching by loving another cat? I think it would be terrible if a kitty out there lost out on the love and care you would give it.

Love
Lori

Oh,wow,so many wonderful posts to respond to...first of all,Schtoobing's Mom,I am so glad to see you but I'm sorry that you are having a hard time right now.Lori's right about you just not being ready to get another kitty.You'll know when the time is right.It would be a shame if you didn't get another kitty because there are so many kitties in need of a good home and you have so much love to give one.You were a great mom to Schtoobing and you need to try and stop feeling like you didn't do enough for him.You did the best you could with the information you had at the time.None of us know when it will be their time to pass away.I felt like that for some time after Sox passed away.To think that I left him here all day alone while he was so sick and I had left the house mad at him for making me worry so much.I hate that I didn't just call in sick and stay home with him that way I could have at least had that whole day with him.When I got home he was so bad off, I don't even like to think about that day...You really need to stop second guessing yourself because you couldn't have done anything else more than you did.Yes,he was alone in a cage when he passed away and yes,that is sad but he didn't need to have you with him because he already knew that you loved him. He had such a long and happy life and I am so sorry that you are still having a hard time dealing with his passing.I know just what that feels like but I refuse to feel guilty about anything because I did the best I knew how to do and I hoped they would be able to make him well but it was his time and yes,it's sad but it's part of the circle of life.He was well loved and in time you will be able to begin to grasp the idea of loving another kitty.Your just not ready yet.Only you will know when you are ready.I'm glad you came back to this site and I hope I have at least helped you feel better.I've been thinking of you too and wondering how you were getting along.I'll keep you in my prayers if that's okay with you.Your boy was so special,he will never be forgotten.Sincerely,Renee P.S. And to Lori, your words are so true and you always know just the right things to say to someone when they are hurting the most.You are so important to everyone on this site and your wisdom is very much needed here.Thanks for everything you do. Thanks too, to Schtoobing's Mom for your kind words.I do the best I can and I try to tap into my own feelings when I answer someone's post.I am still hurting but each day it gets a little bit easier to bear.If I am able to help but one person then it will be in tribute to my sweet and wonderful boy Sox.Sending good thoughts to all of you tonight and I hope your doing better today than you were yesterday.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's Mom)