When Copper started going downhill a week after his surgery, my other vizsla Penny got very upset. She laid next to him and kept him warm and kept licking his face. We took him to the Animal ER and had to come home until we could get ahold of the vet that did the surgery because the ER didn't do blood transfusions. I stayed up with him all night and so did Penny. She stayed by his side. Anytime he'd start breathing heavy, she'd get up and start barking excitedly at me like she was saying "Do something!"

I fed him pork chops and brought him water all night. She didn't even want to share the pork chops because she was so upset. Thank God the vet found the notes we left on the door of the clinic because it was New Year's Eve and they weren't supposed to be open. But Copper's tumor turned out to be an aggressive, incurable cancer. Even though he was feeling better while we were there, we knew it was temporary and did the most loving thing for him.

When we brought him home, we let Penny see he was gone. (I've had one dog survive another many times before and found this is best.) She sniffed and licked him for 10 minutes, whined, and hid for an hour. We wrapped him in a blanket and put him in our shed because it was raining really hard and couldn't bury him. Later that night I went to let her, the gate was open -- 12:30 New Year's Eve! -- and I couldn't find her. I was so sure she was going to get run over by a drunk. I drove around for I don't know how long bawling my eyes out looking for her. When I finally came home, she was in the driveway.

The next morning, my husband let her out when he got home from work and he couldn't find her but this time the gate was closed. It turns out, she managed to open the door to the shed and was laying next to Copper's body. Even after we buried him, she kept figuring out a way to open the door and would go in there and lay down where he was. We rigged the door so she couldn't open it, so she started scratching at it. Now she won't even go in the back yard.

It's been 3 days since Copper crossed over. Penny came to us from Vizsla Rescue. She was a really tough case -- not the kind of dog that they let just anyone have. She has fear agression, sound phobia, and a lot of distrust of people. She had a mild ear infection, but you couldn't even touch her ears, or her feet for that matter. Copper, on the other hand, trusted people 100% and showed her the way. He was her mentor and her savior. Any time she was unsure of a situation, we'd call in Copper and he'd show her it was safe. He proved ear drops were no big deal. He showed her that people here only wash dishes, not throw them.

Watching her miss him the way she does breaks my heart. I want to hold her and tell her it's ok but I can't. She's still the kind of dog that you have to show complete confidence around and she's growled at me for trying to comfort her. When Copper was sick, she bit me because I showed weakness. All I can do for her is suck it up and play the games her psychologist recommended. That makes her happy. But as soon as she goes outside, she's back at the shed.

This is really tearing me apart.

I haven't really had anything happen to a pet where the other was left grieving, so I really don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I'm sure Penny feels as lonely and sad as you do, and that like you, she will work through it in time. The only thing I know of is to make sure and give her lots of extra attention and pampering. My heart goes out to both of you.

V-angel,

Since this might be a more complicated case than usual, and because it's obvious you not only take your parenting very seriously but have gone the extra mile for your babies, I'd like to suggest a couple of well-known experts who you might contact for help. I don't know how booked they'd be, but it might be worth a try.

I'd suggest either Sharon Callahan of Anaflora Flower Essences, who is also a well-known and highly-respected animal communicator, or Teresa Wagner, who also is a communicator and another who uses flower essences for animals. Sharon developed her own line, just for animals, and Teresa uses 2 or 3 lines, plus has just put together a combination for all animals who came from abused or abandoned backgrounds, which covers a lot of emotional issues that these animals often suffer from.

Either one of these fine ladies might also be able to speak to Penny &/or Copper and be of service in giving Penny (and you!) both messages from Copper to calm her down &/or counselling directly to address her emotional concerns....plus the suggestions, based on the communication, for which flower essences Penny could use. Nissa's distance Reiki pract*itioner has often used this type of approach for her own companions when one has departed and they've been having some emotional troubles. Often the departed one will have sage advice for a remaining furchild, which is then passed along to that one via the communicator. In her experience, this has often resulted in fairly rapid adjustments and more peaceful conditions for her babies.

Nissa grieved quite badly over her brother, Sabin's death, and became quite anorexic for a time. Had we had the extra funds then, this is the route I would have taken for her...but her extra vet bills right after Sabin's crossing left us pretty short for cash, so I had to make do on my own. Some 'experts' say that one should keep things as normal as possible and NOT 'reward' the remaining one with too much attention....but I don't buy that, as I believe there's nothing better than Love to heal every malady under the sun! So that's what my gal got!! In spades!! One other thing that did help immensely though, was envisioning her feeling well and playful and full of zest for life...and she 'complied' w/i a few short days of me doing this...but I had to be certain I could put forth that much committed FEELING into that envisionment and feel the lightening of my OWN heart in the process. But it worked wonders.

Furkidlets' Mom you are so smart!

I've been so overwhelmed with grief that I didn't even think to ask Penny's psychologist what to do. Yep, Penny has a shrink. She sees Sarah Kalnajs in Madison Wisconsin. It's almost a 3 hour drive for us, but worth it. I'm pretty sure she'll handle it by email for free. She's a friend of hard luck rescue dogs.

Even so, it's hard to watch. She needs another dog. Vizsla Rescue is on alert but there aren't any in foster care. We vizsla lovers go the extra mile for our babies after all. And when there is one, he or she is going to have to be "sane". They told me as soon as a vizsla that shows up there, I have first dibs because of the great job I've done with Penny. But a puppy is out of the question. If a dog is going to come here, it's going to be someone who needs me!

But I know it's just going to have to wait. I'm too depressed to even take care of myself right now. Having a "special needs" girl is sooooo hard at this time. I've had a puppy and 3 cats cross over while Copper was with me and he was so loving and comforting during those times. I'm lucky to have these 5 cats taking over his duties. But sometimes I just need a dog!

Thanks for listening guys.

Viszla Angel, don't you just love how Penny is showing her strong emotions? To me it seems like she just feels as bad as you do and as I have learned here, we all have to deal with our grief in our own way. I am touched by her strong sense of loyalty and I am sure that with the kind of devotion you clearly have for your babies, she will come through all of her problems in the end. How fortunate you are to have a dog with such highly developed emotions - and I know it is difficult just now but maybe she is distracting you from your grief at this time?

I hope it all settles down for you both soon. Take care.

Debbie
Sheps mama

When I lost my Sheltie and my Boo Boo dog, who died in March, survived her, he grieved badly for a week. He just sat by himself in the middle of the yard with dropped ears and grieved. He did nothing but sit there. We gave him extra attention and treats and walks and spoiled him rotten. He came around after about a week. The surviving pets really do grieve too.

V-angel,

Glad I was able to 'spark' an idea for you. (yes, I noticed your mention earlier of a doggie therapist) I also think it's wise, and loving, of you to recognize your limits of what you can handle right now ~ no need to add further stresses on yourself or another canine soul. When you're ready, you'll know and can make more plans then.

I'd still like to stress the importance and helpfulness of using flower essences, though. I forgot to mention that even w/o using a communicator, I still did this for both Nissa and myself during our shared grief, and in fact, all through her older years for any problem she encountered. (my own therapists have each suggested their use for their human patients, too) Since animals are mirrors for ourselves, it's important to treat our emotions as well as those in our beloveds, who can so easily pick ours up to show us where we're at. They want us to heal as much as they want to for themselves. That's why flower essence pract*itioners for animals often prescribe the same, or similar essences for the animal's people at the same time. There are a few lines that have ready-made grief combo's which help to take the edge off. Flower essences "cure by flooding the being with the particular virtue needed and washing out that which is causing harm." They are designed to work with the emotional causes of dis-ease, so are a good adjunct to any other treatment or therapy as well as an excellent preventive to further harm. For me and Nissa, I used not only a grief-related essence or two, but one by Anaflora called "Return To Joy", which I swear I could feel working inside myself w/i 2 days! In fact, I'd better dig it out again for myself today, as I've only been taking the Grief Relief from F.E.S. so far!! (thanks for helping to remind ME, too!! )

Good news everyone!

Penny is doing much better. We've doubled up on her "doggie therapy" games and she's getting extra car rides. And, since my husband has been working 3rd shift lately, we've been letting her sleep with us. One of the cats is even helping out and taking naps with her. I am an American Indian, so we do have many things that we do to honor his Spirit and she is involved in those also.

For the first 4 1/2 years of Penny's life, her name WAS Copper. Lucky for us, her "captors" were deaf, so she never learned that name.

Here's my pretty girl:

Visla-Angel, Penny is a babe. She has a very expressive face and I'm so glad to hear she has perked up a little bit. I hope you too can soon start to feel better. Take care.

Debbie
Sheps mama

That is EXCELLENT! I'm so glad for all of you! And I'm quite sure that those spiritual practises are key to everyone's healing. Good ON ya for that! I'd also always meant to say that I can see how Copper got his name....what a gorgeous colour his fur is! And thanks for the Penny-pic, too ~ she's also a very beautiful girl!

Oh Penny is so beautiful! I'm so happy to hear she is doing better. We included our Autumn kitty in everything we did when our Moustache kitty left us. She put her energy into the candles we burned for him, she marked his urn, she was part of his memorial. I'm very sure it helped her. I'm sure it's good for Penny and is helping her too. I'm sure with all your love and care she will be okay, it takes time for them too.

I lost a kitty to grief, it's a rough one. I wish I knew then what I know now, but I didn't know how to keep him here and he just wanted to be with his bud.

Keeping Penny in my thoughts and prayers
Lori

Actually....
His name is from the Disney movie "The Fox and The Hound"
Copper is the name of the hound. It's an old hunting dog name that refers to the copper bells they wore around their necks so the hunters would be able to hear where they were. Very popular name for hound dogs.

But it IS the perfect name for him!