john,
i just want to say thank you to you. i enjoy reading your responses to memebrs here, i think my friend you have a gift with writing and a way about you that makes people feel comforted.
i must say even though i dont post often as i would like, you have helped me in so many ways with your kind words and wisdom.

so thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel comforted by your words. you truly are a godsend and your furbabies are so lucky they have you in their life.
godbless and have a happy new year.

michelle

I am so happy for you. I have learned much fron the kind folks here. All you read from me is the essence of what I recieved from others here. This place is a "house of healing" where I can come to let my innermost thoughts & feelings out about one of my greatest fears on this planet....the death of one of my furbabies. The mere forming of those words together in the same sentence causes a tightening sensation in my throat. The death of one of my babies, if pondered long enough will move me to tears. It is tough being a guy with deep rooted emotion like this. I can never let any of this escape from my physical self & so must hide the whole thing inside. That is where this place comes in to my being. I can talk with people that feel the same way I do. I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE SO MANY!!! I thought there was something wrong with me because I feel so intensely. Now I know there are others. It has had backlashes in my life however. What I am about to speak of is difficult and don't do lightly. Because of my intense emotions I am extremely loyal and very protective. The army knew they had a live one when I signed up. In Somalia (1993) a friend of mine was killed in a land mine strike. It severed off both his legs and he perished on an african plain in the middle of nowhere as a result of those wounds. He left a wife and a little girl fatherless. I can not describe the anger and hate that I harboured for months after and searched long for his killers. We never found them. I hurt a lot of people in the effort I put forth trying to locate these thugs and I fear that someday I will have to answer to my God for that. That is my other great fear....because of my past there is no place for me in the Place of Peace where our furbabies deserve to be.

Thank You for your extreme kindness Michelle, but if it were not for people like you and others here who have spent their time nurturing me back to sanity, I would have little sanity to speak of.
Take care of yourself.

Dear Sweet John,

No one knows really where any of our souls go when we die. We only have faith and believe. No one has come back to tell us all, not even our furbabies. Not one person on this earth is free of sin nor of death. Could your deep and unending grief of losing furbabies and friends haunt you because you feel u will never see them due to your past? Do not do this to yourself John. We are told in many religions the higher power is forgiving, believe that. Forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt and ask for your high power's forgiviness.

You have helped so many with your words of kindess I can't believe you wouldn't be rewarded with an eternal life of goodness and your loving furbabies.

Hugs to you for helping all of us John!

Michelle,I totally agree with you.John is such a wonderful person and his posts are always right on target.He is a caring man who knows too well about the pain all of us are feeling.He has grown so much in the time since he found this site.I remember when he first came here and he was in such bad shape over losing Chase.It broke my heart to read his posts and know how much pain he was in.It was just awful....but since that time he has grown so much and now when he writes it's with the knowledge that goes along with losing a beloved pet.He helps so many others with his words while still enduring the pain.I,too,want to thank you John.You have helped me with your words of comfort.I will be forever grateful to you.I am so glad you found us here.It is a blessing to know you.My prayers will always be with you,John.Sincerely,Renee

John, when I read your message I felt really moved. You must not worry that you won't meet your furbaby again because of something in your past. I believe that if in looking back at what you have done, you realise that you were not "in your right mind" at that time because of pain, grief or anything else, and you now regret what you did, then you will be forgiven regardless of how big a deal this is in your own mind.
Your words have comforted me and i believe those words come from a truly emotional, sensitive and honest person. Don't be so hard on yourself for the past - the man who never made a mistake never learned jack!

Debbie
Sheps mama

Yes John

A man as sensitive and caring for life as you are will be with the furbabies he loved so much when he goes. As you have said to many others "DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF".

Yes you have done things, but everyone who has lived has done something. First forgive yourself. Whatever it was you did back then you have made up for it in so many ways.

I know the people you have helped on this site, I'm sure there are others in life. It's all balance, karma. None of us are black or white, we are all shades of gray. Please listen to all the people in the other posts, they are right. We all find you a very good man. Deserving of so much. Your love always shines through.

I'm so sorry you lost your friend that way. I'm sure there were others, as always happens in war. I'm sorry for all of them and their families.

Love
Lori