My sweet little Yorkshire Terrier Miss Ellie has been suffering for nine months with heart disease and kidney failure. Her poor little heart just couldn't keep up with the failing kidneys and she died at 1:00 am Dec. 26th. I am so heartbroken that she is gone although I know she was suffering in the last day of her life and is now resting at peace.

However the emptiness in my heart of losing my beloved companion at the holiday is almost more than i can bear. My heart is broken and i miss my loving little dog so very much. I am now alone in my home with no echos of pawprints across my wood floors. I know time heals all wounds but right now this pain and aloneness is unbearable. Hence this post to this board to purge the pain from a heart that is grieving as much as it loved.

I know I have to eat but can't seem to even do that. My stomach is tied in one big knot. Nothing seems to be easing this pain and i didn't go to work today as I can't quit crying. I am packing up all my little girls clothes, blankets, beds and baskets and it's killing me. Thought I would try to get through the process before going back to work. I believe companies need to add the loss of a family pet to their bereavement benefits. So glad i work for myself and can take time off when I need it as I need the day off today.

Oh your Miss Ellie was so beautiful! You must miss her so much. While no time is a good time, this time of year is so bad for losing your little girl. I'm so sorry for your loss and in fact for you. I hope you can come here and not feel quite so alone.

We lost our Moustache kitty two months ago. We did the no eating thing too. I know that stomach knot only too well. The first week is the worst. Watch over yourself, you can't bring her back by getting sick. If you can't eat, at least try to drink water. (even that took us two days). The stomach knot comes and goes so eat when you can. I still get it sometimes. It's good you can have some time off, really you need two or three days if you have them.

Maybe you want to keep some of her things? Make kind of a memorial for her? We did and it helped us a lot. I had to stop my husband from putting the whole house in the memorial, anything Moose had touched.

How old was Miss Ellie? Poor baby sick for so long. You gave her wonderful care and loved her through her last day. She is at peace now and in no pain. You are a great mama. You guys were so lucky to have each other.

Love
Lori

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost two cats this year and can sympathise with how much pain you're feeling right now. Just remember Miss Ellie (what a cute baby!) will always be with you. Please take comfort that she's no longer in pain and suffering. Your bond -- and love -- endures, always remember that.
Lisa

I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of Miss Ellie. I don't think there is anything more painful than losing a pet. They are a true example of unconditional love, they are our constant companions, and their loss tears a hole in our hearts. It is that big.

I commend you for taking care of yourself and taking some time off. For many of us, it's hard to admit to anyone (including ourselves) how the loss of a pet has uprooted our lives. The love between a person and her dog is unparalleled, and should be celebrated every day, and genuinely mourned when our companion leaves us. And it's so painful when they leave us.

I have had a lot of pets my whole life. Sometimes I feel like I wish I didn't have any, since it tears me up inside when one dies. My only way to cope is to create something that honors them, that means they were here, and that they were your world. I suggest you go out when you can and plant a tree or get a special plant for Miss Ellie, something that lives on in her name.

Just a suggestion.

Take special care of yourself right now, and don't judge how long it takes for you to grieve. I feel your pain; my guinea pig died yesterday, and while it's not on the same level as losing a dog, it sure is hell to say goodbye.

Take care,

Katie

Thank all of you for your kind words of comfort. This is really hard. I lost my beloved feline Smokey in Oct. of 2005 it took awhile but the pain with Miss Ellie seems worse for some reason. I think because we were so much closer.

Smokey was aloof would never use anything I bought for him, wasn't the most comforting feline. While Ellie would gladly play with a new toy, or sleep in a new bed I made up for her.

She was almost 10 when she died a day ago but I was her second owner. Her first owner had to go to a nursing home and I adopted her when she was already 5. She was heartbroken when I got her and i felt so sorry for her losing her mama.

I knew I missed half her life and tried to cram as much activity and togetherness in our short time together that I could. We both fell in love with each other and she was always by my side. We would kayak together on the lake and have lakeside picnics, she loved the water and to swim.

I have a pet cementary where we buried Smokey and there is a spot for Miss Ellie. However I was out of town at my son's house when she passed so I took her to be cremated. I think I would like to buy and urn locket and place some of her ashes in it to keep her close to my heart. I will also place a headstone in the pet cementary for her and plant a nice minature rose bush in her memory this spring.

I don't know about getting another animal it is so hard to lose them. If you have never let yourself love a animal you really are losing out on some of the best feelings in life. Could just live without the feelings of loss when they are gone. I do have two cats, one named Hope that Miss Ellie heard crying out in our boat. Miss Ellie kept barking and led me over to the boat where I heard Hope crying, she had someone gotten into the engine box and the mama cat couldn't get her out. Hope was only a week old when Ellie rescued her. She was covered in engine oil and I bathed her several times in Dawn to get it off. Anyway knowing Miss Ellie found Hope brings me some comfort when I hold the kitten.

Thank you all for the kind words, I needed to hear them. This site is a salvation for us heartbroken pet owners and I am so glad I found it.

I too have had many pets..all different..all their own personality unto themselves. I feel yor pain. I know it is hard to think about another pet right now but I have read your story and as hard as it is to loose our loved ones we must consider this. WE are the keepers of these creatures. The domestic population of animals is direcctly our responsibility to look after. If you you were to never consider getting another pet in the future despite your pain now....just look at what a delightful home they would be deprived of. Lastly I am sorry for your loss

xrayspec you do have a point about another animal missing out on the love I have to give. My father who is an animal lover reminded of this fact today. Just think if I had refused Miss Ellie when my Aunt came to my door and begged me to take her for her friend who was dying, I would have missed the love and enjoyment of my pup.

I am not throwing away any of Miss Ellies things, just packing them up for now. It's like packing up my brothers clothes when he died. Maybe later on I will be able to open my heart to another canine.

They are all different and little Miss Ellie truly was the sweetest dog I have ever known. There wasn't anyone who likes dogs who didn't take to her immediately. This couple even stopped us at Yellowstone asking to hold her and explained they lost their sweet yorkie with griefstricken hearts. They just weren't ready for another which i can understand. These dogs are the sweetest little animals but they have heart problems due to the small size and inbreeding.

I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet little baby- such a cutie! I agree with you- employers should extend bereavement benefits to the loss of pets- furbabies are family too- sometimes more than your 'people family' are. I lost my cat Schtoobing on November 13, 2006, but he had been ill (that I knew of) for 3 weeks prior. I was in a fog at work, sitting at my desk crying all the time. The janitor must have wondered what was up- my trash can was always full of kleenex.

I'm glad you have Hope tho- I like that Miss Ellie found Hope for you. That is so appropriate. You are in my thoughts and prayers. May God comfort you and give you peace.

Diane

Well it's hard to control painful emotions no matter where you are and you were very brave to go ahead and work in spite of your animals death. Your cat died on my birthday November 13th. I am sorry for your loss as I know the pain you are feeling.

I want to thank each of you who responded to my post as I have finally quit crying for a little while this afternoon and got some things done. Forced a piece of pumpkin bread down for energy based on the reminder that I must keep up my strength during this time. Thanks to you for reminding me to eat as i hadn't eaten anything since Christmas Day. This is the first Christmas I have lost five pounds usually gain 5-10 over the holidays! Not much of a consellation really. Would rather have gained 10 and had my sweet Miss Ellie stay a with me a little longer.

I could have never gone to Hollywood as putting on faces is not easy for me. Hard for me to act happy when i am really sad inside so i am just staying home until the worst of this passes.

I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful and precious Miss Ellie. I too lost the love of my life my near 16yr old Bichon Raggs July 5th . It will be 6mos Jan5th and I can hardly believe it. Your pain is so fresh now and it varies from person to person how long the fresh grief last. I know for the first month I felt like I was dead inside. That terrible feeling when you awake and everything seems ok then you realize the reality of you loss. Gradually the fresh pain has left but I still have and probably always will bouts of severe sadness and overcome with grief and the need to hold my baby again. My heart goes out to you but come here and write your grief and it does help. I felt like the day I came home wthout Raggs I was the only person in the world going through this and then I found so many in pain. Not that I want anyone to hurt. But it helped to share.
The price of perfect love is to risk pain and I would do it again as all of you would
It will get better

Sincerely,Joanne(raggs Mom)

Hello.I am so sorry for your loss.I know it is hard to lose a beloved pet,especially around the holidays.There's not really anything I can say to you to make it better except that your not alone in your feelings and you came to the right place.A lot of us here are going thur the same thing that you are.I lost my beloved kitty of 16 years named Sox on Oct. 13th to feline diabetes and kidney failure.I was broken up over it for weeks and I still have days where I miss him so bad I can hardly stand it but time does make it alittle bit easier to bear.I don't think you ever really get over losing them you just learn how to live with the loss and move on because there really isn't any other option.Please try to take care of yourself,getting sick or not eating will not bring her back.Try to remember all the good times you shared and the love you had for her instead of the sadness of her passing.She found a good home with you and she was lucky for that and you were lucky to have her as well.She is safe now,no longer in pain or suffering,she is at peace and she will be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge until it is your time to pass on.Your beloved angel can live on forever in your heart and in your thoughts.My prayers are with you and please feel free to come here as often as you need to.We all understand here and we know just how you feel.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Thank you Renee for your comforting words. I woke up this morning a little more resolved to the loss. Weeping instead of wailing! You are right she isn't suffering anymore. She really did suffer the last few days of her life and it tore me up to see it.

It was horrible to watch my sweet little friend struggle to breath and drown in her own secretions. I took her to the ER when it was obvious I could do nothing else for her. What a sad trip our last one.

I go to pick up her ashes tomorrow with bittersweet emotions. I am still so heartbroken but am going to try to work today. The client I see this morning has a dog and will understand my loss. I know they will ask about her and I will cry when I have to tell them she is gone. They will give me comfort because not only are they clients but they have turned into friends. I feel safe to go there today. Yesterday I didn't know the client and didn't feel comfortable trying to work when I was so grief stricken. I am a computer technician and webmaster. I do house calls and go around my town helping folks with computers. Miss Ellie used to go with me on house calls. I have received emails of condolences from clients. Everyone loved my little Miss Ellie and an entire community will miss her.

Hope is keeping me pretty good company and I find her presence somewhat comforting since Miss Ellie saved her for us.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have come to the right place for support. I lost my 9 yr old kitty Alley almost 3 weeks ago and if I didn't have this place to come and talk about her I would go crazy. The people here understand exactly how you feel, because we are all going through the same things.

Your baby was a gorgeous little girl and I know you miss her terribly. She is at peace now though and free from pain and that is the most important thing.

Thanks Alley's Momma for the kind words I am weeping as I type I miss my little girl very, very much. I have never lost a child but have lost a husband and my only full blood brother. This hurts just as much as their losses I am finding.

I cried just as hard packing up all the little blankets I made for Miss Ellie as she was incontinent on the lasix for 9 months and i manged it with a rubber backed rug in her favorite spot and puppy pads with blankets on top in her bed. When she wet I would simply switch the pads and the blankets. I just cut up fleece into receiving blanket size and it worked so well for us.

My client just called and cancelled our appointment. He has to take his dog to the vet! He offered his condolences about Miss Ellie too. Hence the waterworks and weeping. We all miss her everyone who knew her misses this little dog and is finding it so sad to lose her.

Here is a picture of her playing in the waves on the shores of Pelican island, I had taken the paddle boat out there to read my PC magazines and let her explore. She loved to go to Pelican Island to explore the waterfoul and play in the waves. I kept her cut short in what I called the "Pixie Lake Cut". Did all her grooming myself for four and half years.

She looks a lot like my mom's little yorkie "Dinky". He is 3 1/2 pounds and has hypoglycemia (sp?) and a liver shunt (not sure what that is) but he seems to do ok as long as he stays on a low protien diet and doesn't get too excited. He is the same coloring as your girl.

I wasn't able to be with Alley at the end, and that has been one of the hardest things to deal with, so take comfort in the fact that you were with your little girl until the end. She knows she is loved. I had to take a couple days off work also because I couldn't stop crying. I still do sometimes, so thankfully I have a box of tissues on my desk. Everyone keeps saying it will get better, so we just have to wait and see. Our pets ARE our families, so losing them is just as hard as losing a "human" loved one.

boatlady13

Miss Ellie was so lucky to have two mama's. She is with her first mama now, and not in pain. Take comfort from that.

The story of Miss Ellie and Hope was so awesome. I'm so happy you have Hope to help you now, I know a kitty head to wipe tears on is a wonderful thing.

I was happy to hear you ate a piece of pumpkin bread, you do have to stay well and it's hard now.

My first thought when Moosie died was that I wouldn't get another cat, it just hurts so bad when they go. But then I told myself that as bad as the grief was, the joy was more. We had 10 years of great joy and tons of loves from our boy. So it hurts now, so what? Would I be willing to give up that time so I could feel good now? Of course not, I wouldn't give up a minute with him. Another baby will be the same, sometime you hurt but there is such joy in your time with them. In the end the sadness is small and the joy is huge. We have a new kitten, who is bringing us much joy.

Love
Lori

Moose's Mom,
I forgot all about Miss Ellies first mother who died not long after I got her. You are right she could be with her right now happy to be reunited with her first mom. How does that work in heaven when a dog has two moms I wonder. I guess that means i have to share her something she didn't like to do with me. She was always snapping at Hope and my other cat Garfield. Hes quite a lover too. She found Garfield in our utility trailer 2 years ago. I think she liked to find the stray cats kittens! I call the stray female cat Mrs. Kitty as she comes by for food on occasion.

This small reminder has given me so much comfort. Thank you.

boatlady13

You are very welcome for anything I did, if I helped even a small amount it also helps me.


Well I think there is so much love there that there doesn't need to be sharing. We are all aware and beings of so much love. I don't really believe in 'heaven' but I do believe in a place we all go and meet. A beautiful place full of love. Concepts like 'sharing' and stuff is for the Earth, wherever we go is not so constricted. When you need her she will be there for you.

Miss Ellie was quite the cat finder! What a good girl.

Love
Lori