Well, OMG, I can't believe it's happened AGAIN! Last night, by chance (long story short) we suddenly ended up at each of 2 neighbour's houses, one at which they were having a holiday get-together (to which we hadn't even been invited, we noted) and decided to stay awhile. I should have known better! Right after the food was done, 'IT' started up again....the usual banter about something derogatory about animals and their place in the world. This time, the all-too-common refrain about how someone 'hates' cats (if you'll notice, no one EVER dares to say the same out loud in public about dogs...really...try noticing this!...cats now have little 'status' compared to dogs in this world, generally-speaking, even tho they've been 'around' humans for even longer than canines...think Egypt, when they were revered). Anyway, this one clout started it all off by asking "Aren't cats just here to be run over?!" Naturally, everyone but us laughed....sickening!!!! Even one other neighbour who I'd JUST been talking to about both Nissa and other animal concerns...she laughed, too...and she and her husband LIKE cats and just lost their last one recently! Me and my H left right away. The hosts MUST have heard about Nissa dying this year, yet neither had asked us a THING (just made veiled references to not having seen us out and about for the last 5 months or so)...then this....this abomination of an excuse for conversation!! People truly make me want to become a hunter....of THEM! You can't tell me that NO ONE noticed that for the past 2 hours, I'd been regularly patting, talking to, kissing and otherwise socializing with the hosts' last 'pet'....a cat! (me and another neighbout suspect they killed their dog a few months ago strictly for convenience, or an easiest way out...I haven't wanted to ask yet, lest I end up punching someone!!) KNOWING that all animals are sentient (AND have perfectly fine hearing, too!), I felt even worse for their cat than I did for myself, as she was sitting right in the room when this horrid comment was made. The "owners" (and I use that term deliberately in this case) themselves didn't even protest! Oh, I wanted to start yelling and cursing at them ALL!! Here I'd been fighting back my own tears all night, especially when conversing with their sweet cat (I know her a little) and thinking this would be a nice impromptu diversion for a couple of hours...and coming off the tail-end of the anxiety that was created by visiting our other neighbour's kidney cat..the one who's skin and bones, being slowly starved to death. Well, WRONG!! AGAIN!! FOR THE UMPTEE*NTH TIME!! Generally-speaking, I've said it before and I'll say it again.....I REALLY HATE SOUTHERN ALBERTANS AS A RULE!! ( huge exception given to Leighann....you're a rare bird, in MY little corner of this Province!) This horrid 'joke-fest' was STILL going on, and getting worse and worse, as we made our beeline for the door. Maybe I should have just started bawling and made them feel like the low-life scu*mbags they really are!

So when we left, I decided we ought to make a quick stop-over at our other neighbours' place, as I KNOW they care about cats (have 2 themselves and helped me and another woman search for her lost cat awhile ago)...so we got some nicer, kinder and, in MY books, more NORMAL and well-adjusted time with both their cats (one a newer kitten, so lots of playtime) and them. These folks are even taking their 2 kidlets with them when they go away next week for a few days...made sure they found animal-friendly accomodations. PHEW! If we hadn't gone over there afterwards....yet still...my mind wouldn't stop reliving this other horrid talk when I tried to go to sleep later. Gawd...it's SO depressing. I'd thought I'd pretty much made it through the holidays somewhat intact...only to be subjected to this cruelty yet again. So it's become terribly apparent that no matter where I go, this risk of being subjected w/o warning to these disgusting types of people is a real and present danger and the only way to really guard against it, is to never go out in public again! And that alone fills me with resentment - why should I have to remain a prisoner in my own home when, if you ask me, THEY are the ones who ought to be penalized and locked up!! I'll tell you...I was wishing I could round up all of you here, march right over to their house and demonstrate to them the strength in numbers from the OTHER side!!!

And what this really does to me inside is put me in a really BAD frame of mind for our little trip....what and who is going to assail me there while I'm trying to RELAX?!?!!? I think we should have planned on heading off to B.C. instead!

People can be so cruel sometimes. I've never encountered a conversation where someone said a cat is good run-over, that is really heartless!
I hope you start new friendships with more intelligent and sensitive people in the coming year. I don't know how you can stand being around such cold, soulless people. I couldn't take that, I'd have to either say something really caustic (example: "Could you repeat that so I can tell you how really insensitive you are?")
or I would do like you did, turn around and leave. It pains me to even know that people hunt animals for sport and where I live, they carry dead deer on their cars and trucks like trophies. THAT is really sick!
Just know there are people who care in this world.
Lisa

You know...after some of the posts you have written, and you always seem to be at these awful places where these pitiful excuses for humans are...I have decided that it is a good thing we don't go to parties together. There would be an awful lot of people with broken noses this Christmas if that was the case...( oh oh...there's that rage thing again )

In my neck of the woods, people are so concerned with political correctness, that you rarely hear these types of comments, although some people let their true feelings slip out.

When my Daisy passed away, most people who knew me expressed sympathy, because at least if they had never felt that way themselves and even if they thought it was weird, they understood that I loved her. I even got a few cards. Now months later, I spoke to a friend who hadn't spoken to in a long time. He asked how Daisy was and I said that she had passed away. He is not an animal lover, but he said "Oh Anne, I'm so sorry. I know how much she meant to you." I felt that he sincerely felt sympathy, even though he hasn't had the joy of loving a pet. I said that the only difference in my feelings months later was that I could now say she was gone without crying.

I miss her terribley and feel sorry for those who can't understand that.


Daisy's Mommy

I was at my sisters house for Christmas and there was alot of people there. She has a cat named Bella and she came out to investigate what was going on. Of course there was one jerk (on my in-laws side of the family!) that kept making hissing noises trying to scare the cat and make it run away.

Alot of people were trying to get close to her to pet her but she wouldn't have any part of that and would run the other way. I felt very special when she spotted me sitting on the floor and came over to me and crawled on my lap and let me pet her. It was like she knew I wasn't going to let anyone scare her anymore.

Hi, All,

I'd forgotten to reply to this thread as we'd had to leave a day early for our holiday trip and I didn't get time for the board again.

Lisa,

I'm going to try to remember your idea for a caustic comment:
...because I think with these types one has to fight fire with fire...besides which, I'd LOVE to see them possibly go red with embarrassment (if they even have any real blood vessels in them)!

John,

Oh, what I wouldn't give to have an ally like you next to me at one of these encounters! I dare say these people would never repeat their callous mistakes again! My problem is, when I'm grieving, my mind goes blank in my anger, indignation, shock and hurt. All I might come up with is expletives, which wouldn't serve me too well, I'm afraid.

Daisy's Mommy,

Well, this is the first time I've ever heard of a perceived benefit to all of the political correctness of the day! You're very fortunate to have had such good experiences with those around you. Although it's not like I didn't have any of that, too (I did get 10 condolence cards for Nissa's passing, plus some flowers), but these were people who I either didn't even know, or some neighbours who I DO know don't value their animals highly....so I imagine many of their friends are like them. The bad thing about this is that....almost all of them are teachers, so I hate to imagine what kinds of values they're passing along to their young students!! The male host actually just became one of the Vice Principals of his highschool, too. God help the animals, is all I can say! This guy also likes to bug me relentlessly about eating vegetarian. I was prepared to tell him to STOP!!! should he go there that night, but the cruel comments didn't come from him...although I'm sure he was hooting along with his guests...I left the room entirely before I could find out.

Simba's Daddy,

Isn't it great when the furred and feathered (and scaled, etc.) souls recognize us as kindred spirits? It eases the pain and consternation of having to deal with those who are SO out of touch with the animals' sacredness. Like your story, these people's cat (Hannah) came to us for some affection, despite the female host warning us that she was likely to suddenly turn on us....nothing of the sort happened and she graciously accepted our 'bum scritches', rubs and kisses throughout the short time we were there. I felt like our duty was to show this woman that she simply required the correct atti*tude and emotion to respond warmly back...something I'm sure this poor cat never gets much, if any, of around that household. I talked to Hannah a bit about how lonely she must now be, without either her other feline or canine (the one who we think was killed for convenience) pals there with her, and I swear I saw the sorrow in her eyes when I mentioned it....so I gave her even more kisses and told her how I was hurting and lonely, too, w/o Nissa here either (she knew her, somewhat). These were the only really pleasant moments in that place. I've told my H that I no longer ever wish to talk to these people, as much as I can help it. If he wants to visit them on his own, he can feel free, but I'll be staying at home. I'd always hoped to influence these people into thinking of animals differently, but I see that they're a lost cause, unlike one other man who's changed his mind quite unexpectedly, to my great delight. I always figure that if I can effect a change for the better, it will help make the life of at least ONE animal that much richer and kinder.


I was also unpleasantly surprised by the wife of my H's long-time friend when we had dinner with them during our time away, and now that friendship is on the rocks for me as well. She alluded to her real feelings about my values regarding the animal kingdom (and therefore, also my relationship with our kidlets), saying, with a noticeable sneer in her voice, "Oh, yah...right.....I forgot who I was talking to!!" when I'd said that I'd never go to a zoo for 'entertainment' during any future travels. If her eyes didn't actually roll, the tone in her voice certainly implied this inwardly. I was instantly enraged and felt SO betrayed, as she'd been one of the few who seemed to respect my feelings, even if she doesn't go as far herself with her own animals. They also never asked us a thing about our Christmas, nor did they respond to my H's request to write something nice about Nissa to include in my stocking this year....and she was one of the few who actually KNEW Nissa, shed a tear for her loss and adored her diminutive size, plush cheeks and shy demeanor. But to do something for me, her grieving friend...I guess that was just asking too much. People are cold, heartless and selfish.....and they've made me BITTER. Now, more than ever, I want to lock myself away with only animals by my side....anyone know of an undiscovered island teeming with wildlife anywhere????

Furkidlets Mom, I cannot believe the att*itude of people around you. I actually found it difficult to believe your story when I read it. God forbid anyone should speak like that around me - I'd let them have it big style, with expletives just for added value, incase anyone missed my point.

I have to admit though, when you said you wished you were a hunter, it made me laugh out loud like I haven't since Shep's passing - I can really hear the passion in your words and it matches my own. How utterly appropriate - I wonder how fair they'd feel it was if they were out in the garden lounging around and you decided to take pot shots at them from your bedroom window.....for the sport of course!!

You are on a higher plane than these plonkers, as are their pets who I am hoping will savage them in their sleep sometime soon and then leg it somewhere better. In Scotland, I haven't really encountered that kind of att*itude to domestic pets, but unfortunately we do have our fair share of "hunters for sport". We have fox hunting here but our Scottish government has banned it here. However, it still goes on...foxes torn to shreds by packs of dogs inthe name of sport. The sad reality is these idiots really think it is their God-given ent*itlement to do this. The need extraditing to the Planet of the Apes for a dose of their own medicine.

I can tell from your writing that you are still really hurting over the loss of your baby Nissa, but I'm delighted to note the fire and passion that you are still able to convey. Maybe next time you will have recovered enough to give them it "double barrelled" and enlighten these ignorant individuals.

Take care & keep writing.

Debbie
Sheps mama

Furkidlet's Mom,
I'd like to know who these people are & where they live! Street addresses please. I'm still showing my grief with anger a lot and would be happy to take it out on someone.

I'm missing my wonderful boy Copper the dog. Thank God for my Penny dog and 5 cats: Buckwheat, Spooky, Koda, MicMac and Patchee. It's the cats who comfort and care for me. If I'm laying on the couch, Buckwheat acts as a "teddy bear". If I'm sleeping too much, Patchee smacks me in the nose with his oversized paws until I get out of bed. If I'm at the computer, Koda is on my lap. If I'm crying really hard, MicMac is my big furry kleenex. And Spooky takes care of the other cats. We always did call her "Auntie Pooky" She cleans the tears and snot off MicMac when I'm done crying on him. She lets me know when the water or food is low, or the litter box is starting to get dirty, and keeps everyone's ears clean -- including the dog.

So HOW DARE ANYONE say ANYTHING bad about cats! I feel sorry for these cat "owners" who jumped right in the cat bashing-fest. It reminds me of teenagers giving into peer pressure so they can fit in. Good for you that you can be your own person! How sad for them that they can't. Quite the sign of immaturity and insecurity on their behalf in my opinion!

My heart goes out to you.

You poor thing, I just read this note and felt I had to reply, I was always a dog lover and didn't know cats until I lived with my then boyfriend now husband who had a wonderful tabby fellow named Frank, well the love fest began, and I am proud to say I fell for the furball. He was 22 when he died, yes 22 years of age, and a fighter to the end, a real alley guy, always had a smudge of grease on his head from sitting under cars, we lost him over four years ago, I held him when he went, the first hardest day of my life, I still cry for him, and miss him like crazy. It is amazing how creepy some people can be, well lets just say they are uninformed and inexperienced and aren't we lucky people to have loved and been loved by those little buddies of love. Hold on to your blessings in life, and caring for cats and dogs is one of the absolute best. Take Care, Hrudey's mom, until we are together again.

Debbie, V-angel and Hrudey's mom,

Oh, I'm so grateful for your replies here! For years now, I've been griping about how so many people in this Province where we live seem to be so anti-animal, but with hearing about and witnessing so many instances like these (and far, far worse ones, too!), I was beginning to wonder if there was ANY place in the world that was any different, and if I was doomed to a life of being an 'oddity' in society. But with your stories to add to the mix, it's becoming clearer that this place really IS worse than many others! So even though I'm stuck here for now, you've given me hope that someday, whenever we finally move, I might find a gentler, kinder place to live, w/o these classic, redneck southern Albertans to continually deal with. They're always claiming they don't deserve that label, but with atti*tudes like this, how could they not?! I don't really get it, though, as so many people here are transplants from other places, not born and raised here...I think something here changes them somehow, or something. I'm sure it has alot to do with the #%!! Calgary Stampede and all the "cultural heritage" BS that the govt. spews about rodeos, etc. Whatever their excuse is, they're weak for giving into it. I only wish that we'd never brought our kidlets here, as now the bulk of my memories of them are from this place, not our home Province, where our kidlets and we were born and raised. I'd like their ashes (whenever we get that eventually done) and mine to be scattered together there, where we first met, if possible.

I wish I could give you street addresses, V-angel (!!), but I'm sure you're too far away to come over! I'll have to made do with a pleasant, little fantasy of the bunch of us heading across the street to make mincemeat of these ignoramuses. I know it's not the most noble or spiritual thought....but after too much of this lately, I admit to letting the rage get the better of me. It's so good to know I can spout off about this here, and STILL be understood and accepted! In fact, your support renewed my sense of determination enough yesterday that I'll be phoning the mgr. of a local pet supply store here (that also sells birds, reptiles, rodents and fish) to voice my disgust at their display of single fish in tiny cubes of water with one, lone plant each...meant to serve as 'ornaments'. One clerk was actually defending this practise/'product' and was trying to avoid giving me any info on when the mgr would be in.....I could have punched her...so much for the next generation here! So yes, I still have passion in my blood, for the animals...but it's a lonely battle.

It warmed my heart to hear all about the canine and feline souls who made and are still making such a difference in your lives. You all made me chuckle and cry, for all the love shown and shared amongst you all. Twenty-two is a wonderful, ripe old age...you wouldn't believe how many people have NO idea that cats not only can, but often used to live this long...they hardly ever believe me. The same clown who disparaged cats thought that 10 was as old as they ever got...idiot. Nissa got close, though....19 yrs. and 7 months...and she was a real fighter, too. I always called her my Sturdy Girl, for her dainty size yet incredible muscular and emotional strength. The vets were ALWAYS taken aback by just how STRONG she was when fighting them and their instruments off, even in her senior years! That's my gal!

I REALLY needed your posts yesterday, too, because I had a really upsetting experience at the vet's when going to pick up some food for a likely stray cat around here. There was a black cat in a carrier there, who looked like an exact cross between Nissa and her brother, Sabin....her tiny size (a very rare thing indeed!) , EXACTLY her facial features, fur just like both of theirs together, but all black, like Sabin (except no white tip of tail), and apparently as super-cuddley and lovey, and sleep-with-you as MY guys were! It was like seeing Nissa in Sabin's body. I'm thinking they put this girl there JUST for me to see, to remember them by. I wanted her, despite knowing all the wrong reasons why I wanted her...but she was a lost cat who'd been taken in by a family and loved dearly since Xmas Eve Day, and THEN turned out to already have a guardian who'd been looking for her....so she'd be going home soon to her rightful person. I was shocked at the intensity with which I wanted to grab her and take her home! And touching her....SO like touching my own two, both at once! So I came home in even more tears, missing my gal and guy so badly I could hardly breathe. So I reread and reread your posts, just to try and calm myself down again, knowing I could share this, too, and be understood....thanks SO much for listening, once again...

Hugs and Love,
F.'s Mom

It's astonishing how insensitive some people can be. People like that are best avoided.

The closest comparison I have is a guy at work, who likes nothing better than to target people's sensitivities in an attempt to be funny. A while ago, he brought a piece of paper into the office with numbers written on it, and left it on the desk of a colleague whom he knew to be very fond of animals. The "joke" was that when she asked him what the numbers were, he told her it was a tally of the number of animals he'd managed to run over in his car that weekend.

Thankfully, nobody laughed.

Unfortunately, he then felt it was appropriate to go on to say that he hadn't managed to hit any cats this time. This was days after I lost my Charlotte. I bit my lip and left the room. He didn't know about Charlotte, but that's no defence.

If he says anything similar now I've lost Bobby, I may not be able to control myself.

Oh....my.....gawd!!!!! What a scu*mbag!! Okay, that even tops what these other pitiful wastes of space have said!! (but I'm awfully glad not one person laughed...wiser people!) You're probably lucky he didn't know about your dear Charlotte, otherwise he might have gotten even WORSE! Maybe these 'jokesters' ought to be put into service as punching bags..... ....for the grieving. I sincerely hope you don't run into this guy now, after Bobby's loss.

Thanks for letting me know that someone else has been witness to the extra pain these kinds of jerks inflict upon some of us.....not that I'd wish this upon anyone, but shared pain is lessened pain, if you know what I mean.

At least with the cessation of holidays, I can now avoid more of these uncaring people. If any one of them crosses me again, with all the acu*mulated rage sitting under the surface, one of them is going to get the whole pile-up of fury, all at once, and not know what hit them! And I don't even care anymore....I don't need to caretake the feelings of those who don't HAVE any of the finer ones anyway. I say, let there be natural consequences to those who choose to be uncaring.

Reading this thread, all I can say is that I really truly hope that "What goes around, comes around".

I said this many times and will again here...

The ones that are insensitive to animals will have to answer for it some day. I believe that God put them here not only to be our companions, but to help him judge us when our time comes.

Imagine the look on their faces when they are being judged and their insensitivities (is that even a word?) to animals come up. What will they say then? I bet they won't be laughing then.

F Mom,

What is wrong with people? I always used to say that anyone that messes with my pets better have a death wish! I know that's a little extreme but I get downright psychopathic towards people who speak of animals as fodder or worse yet, abuse animals. I am sorry for the insensitivity that you had to bear. Things like that only reinforce the deep respect I have for animals and how in many ways they seem so superior to us. Animals don't manipulate other animals for the hell of it. Animals don't make other animals suffer just to get a kick. If only people like the ones you've encountered could be reincarnated as an abused animal with the memory of their former life & their stupid comments intact! Well, that's not even a solution really because I'd rather not hope for another abused animal!

Sometimes we're not the ones that are meant to teach a particular lesson to a particular person. But believe me, they will learn their lesson eventually!

Hugs,

Daria

Reading these accounts makes me sick. Further evidence I need to be elected Dictator for Life, as animal cruelty will be a capital crime.

Mark

Mark,

You can count on my vote!

Macks Mom,
Dayna

Mark,

How soon can you take Office?! (and can I be your Second-In-Command?)

Daria,

Maybe that would be one of the best responses to these horrid types...something like, "What you just said/did only reinforces and demonstrates why animals are superior and deserve more deep respect than humans. Thanks for helping me prove my point so well!"

As for the reincarnation with memories intact idea...IF the memories could survive, too, it might still work out well, since if they were rescued and shown love and healing after their abuse....it would drive the lesson in even deeper, and we, the adopters would be blissfully ignorant about their past, so would only show love to them anyway. Who knows.....perhaps this has even happened already and some of those we've taken in had chosen to come back as potential victims, to experience what the other side of the coin is like....and we just don't know it!

Simba's Daddy,

(yes, insensitivities is a word) See the above idea. I actually believe that everyone who lived must review their life and every, little thing that we did that caused someone else grief, and that while doing so, we are able to actually feel the pain that we inflicted, as if it were our own, and that this is how we end up learning ( and planning any return trips to try, try again )....so I await that day, too, believing that if not before then, they will finally see the error of their ways in the most compelling manner.....of course, so will I, I imagine, for any responses that weren't so loving! But I think I'll take my chances on this one.

AlleysMama,

See ALL of the above!

This also reminds me of yet another story the woman who runs the no-kill shelter here told me, where a cat who'd been hit by a car here was dying on the road and bylaw called her to come out (cuz they're total idiots here, and don't care about animals as a rule anyway, and especially hate cats)....why they wanted her there is still a mystery. They should have called upon a vet instead. As she cradled this poor ( and really suffering ) soul in her hands, realizing that he was likely too far gone to save, a couple with their young child came along......fasten your seatbelts, folks....and started pointing and laughing at the cat's distress......she wanted, more than anything, to just kill them right then and there. He died only moments after. What do you DO with heathens such as these??? (I'm thinking burning at the stake might be appropriate penance...or having their own child run over while others stand around guffawing at their loss) That was one of the most singularly painful moments for me, from all her stories (and she has a mitt-ful), as I realized just how barbaric people around these parts really and truly are....living all around me/us, right in my own 'community'! The worst part is knowing that, even when we finally move away from here....all these poor animals will have one LESS voice to speak up for them, when people like me/us are needed in places like this the MOST! But I honestly don't know that I'll ever have the necessary strength and grit to take these types on, full-scale....and where would I find other allies to help me in the first place? So maybe everyone needs to move HERE!

Isn't that a sign that the child will grow up to be a serial killer? Or does it mean the parents are sociopaths?

I think it means the parents are heartless jerks. The child had to learn that somewhere right? Unfortunately, the child will probably grow up just like the parents.

I like to think that there is a special place in Hell reserved for those who are cruel to animals.