Well today is finally here, it has now been 1 year since I held my darling boy Homer. It seems to have gone by so quickly, but yet it seems like an eternity since I touched him. Here is Homer's story:
Homer came to live with me when my roommate picked up the last of the 'free manx kittens' ad in the newspaper in 1994. When I moved out, I took Homer with me as my roommate was allergic, and Homer loved my other cat Poon. Shortly after I moved, we discovered a small bundle of fur one blizzardy night, which also came to live with us, which we named Baby. We were now a 3 cat strong family. Poon went missing in 1997, and we never knew what became of her. I frantically searched, but nothing. We were devastated. The not knowing tears you up inside.
I moved away just 2 months after Poon went missing, to a bigger house with a yard for Baby & Homer. Homer was loved by everyone. Even so called cat haters loved him. He just had one of those spirits. Always curious, always social. I warned people if they came over with elastics or scrunchies in their hair as Homer would hunt them, and rip them out when you weren't paying attention. He also learned to play fetch, which was his absolute favorite game. Him and Baby were the best of friends. They were so close in age, and you could tell they were soul mates. They belonged together.
Homer started slowing down around 2001-2002. He seemed to be in quite a bit of pain moving around. We did x-rays, and discovered his spine was fusing. He also had pretty bad arthritis. My vet said it is pretty rare in cats, you generally see it in dogs. He said, best case, Homers spine would fuse, and he would be less mobile. Worst case, one of the 'spurs' could grow and damage his spinal cord. I didn't know what to do. My vet said theres not too much point in operating as the spurs would just grow back, and putting Homer through that much pain for nothing wasn't high on my list of things to do. In the back of my mind I thought, this is what is going to take my Homer. I felt after that news, my time may be limited with Homer, so I treasured every moment.
Homer was still the happiest cat despite his pain. I opted not to drug him, I tried to go as natural as possible, unless he had a real bad day, then we would give him some stronger stuff. We massaged him, which he loved, but every now and again he would jump away in pain. He started walking with a sway, and it was getting hard for him to jump, so I made little stairs to get up on the bed, and arranged furniture in a way to make it easy for him to get to his favorite spots.
I started taking Homer to a physical therapist early 2005. He loved his treatments, and it seemed to relieve him so much that he was fairly normal for a week or two afterwards. All the time Homer just enjoyed life. He was such a happy cat even still. Then December 17 2005 happened. I was going to work, and before I left, I took out the laser, and ran Homer around the apartment. Went to work my short 5 hour shift, got home and Homer was sick. Rushed him to the vet, and he figured he was constipated, gave me some laxatives, and we went home. By the night of the 18th, Homer was worse. I took him back to the vet on the 19th, when they discovered he had diabetes. I started injections that day. Homer started losing control of his back legs, and by the 22nd, couldn't use them. He started having trouble breathing, and spent the night in the vet clinic. I went on the 23rd to see what we can do, and my vet said our last option is to take him to a specialist and do a myelogram - where they inject dye into the spine while taking xrays. Homer had to stay at the clinic that night too, and the vet called me in the morning to give me the worst of news. Homer had a bleeding tumor, and was now having trouble breathing, we only had one option left. I called my regular vet and he said he would come to my house around 530. I picked Homer up and spent the next few hours holding him and telling how much we all loved him. He purred up until his last second.
Life changed forever at that moment. We took him straight to the pet cemetary and had him cremated, I just didn't want him spending Christmas in a freezer at the clinic. I went through all the 'what if's', all the 'take me insteads', and all the 'why's?'. I only ran into a couple of insensitive people, like a guy at work said "So your cat died eh?" But generally, everyone understood my connection to my cats, and knew I lost more than 'just a cat'. I vowed - no more cats.
When Baby started getting depressed, I changed my way of thinking. For her - anything. I didn't want her to be alone in the day, so I thought, well..if its meant to be it will happen. It happened in February 2006. We named our newest little one Nuku-Nuku. I felt guilty, but knew that Nuku cant replace Homer in my Heart, because the Homer part of my heart is still overflowing with love. My life has changed in this last year, and I have become much more spiritual. I talked to a pet psychic, and she said Nuku isn't Homer, but sometimes Homer comes through Nuku...which I thought to myself before I talked to her. Nuku resinates Homer sometimes, and I am amazed every time I see it. Nuku has now started fetching, just like Homer, and she always puts her toys in the same weird places that Homer did. Sometimes she looks at me the way Homer used to as well.
My house seems so full now with Homer's spirit, It almost feels like he's always here. It's weird but life seems almost normal again. I got a beautiful card from my mom for Christmas, with a little cat angel. It is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. The card reads:
Amid the season's hustle and bustle,
a warm, quiet place is reserved in my heart
for remembering your loved one and thinking of you.
She also wrote in a poem:
They are gone from our sight, but never our memory,
Gone from our hearing, but never our hearts,
Gone from our touch, but their presence is felt,
and the love he gave you, never departs
I truly feel things happen for a reason, and feel that Homer taught me love, happiness, and life when he was in his physical body. He is now teaching me spirituality, I also know he is just as much a part of my life now as he's always been. He was just too large a spirit for this world.
All I have to say is he better get rest while he can, because once I rejoin him, I will never let him go.