I just keep thinking how much I need her. How can she be gone. I need her here with me. I need her.

Magdalene

Magdalene,

We're on the same page with this, too. (and thanks for your understanding in the other thread, about the exact length of time it's been!) This feeling grows especially strong with me whenever I have any 'people problems', and MOST especially if they involve my husband, who is the only immediate family I have left now. I NEED Nissa's extreme, tender, never-failing LOVE!!!!!! and I can't see how in the world I can possibly go on without it, nor how it could ever possibly be repeated with anyone else on this planet, ever again! After all, it was almost 20 years in the 'refining', growing and nurturing (between her and I), and I'll never have another furbaby for that long ever again as far as I can tell. Nor will I likely ever have the chance to develop the same kind of relationship with another from kittenhood, as I don't plan on ever adopting kittens again since it's the adults who are less likely to find homes.

And on and on in circles it goes inside my pain-drenched head and heart....how to fill that need w/o my girl here to fill it as naturally and hugely as she did? If I express this to my H, he gets (understandably) hurt (then angry!), as he KNOWS he can't duplicate the relationship I had with our Nis'. A Mom is a Mom forever and our relationships with our 'kids' is unique and eternally etched into our souls' very substance. So I also NEED to find a way to keep having a new kind of relationship with my girl...lest I go mad w/o it and her.

Magdelene,
I know how you feel. I need my baby so much. I keep asking how do I get him back. Boo Boo Kitty's mom