Last week was NOT a good week! On top of my other problems, my girl's casket finally arrived via parcel post...and they didn't pack it properly this time (we used the same company that made Sabin's casket years ago). When I opened up the parcel, one corner was a bit damaged and some of the wood on the backside was a bit warped. They also didn't include the closing clasp we'd ordered with it and now we'll have to go looking for one ourselves. So the only thing that was right-on was the pink 'satin' lining I'd asked for. It's also deeper than we need, as my H forgot to specify the depth. I'm so upset about all of this!! We waited longer than usual for it to be built, and now it's full of problems and my girl deserves much better than this! They never said they'd replace it, but just gave us a small amount of money back. We now have until spring or summer as the ground's already too frozen, so I don't know if we ought to complain more and ask for a replacement, seeing as we have months now before we need it. It was just such a blow, as we'd had really good service and product from this company before. Now it just seems so disrespectful of them to get so many things wrong, especially when it wasn't cheap, either.

In the same week, I also had a 'former' friend email me after over a year of silence from her....wanting sympathy, I suppose, for a health issue she's presently going through. I gave her some, but also informed her of our loss (she knew Nissa and had seen her about a year ago when she and her family stayed with us one night during their vacation)...but do you think she even had the decency to write back with her own expression of sympathy for me??? Gawd, no! She's dumped me again...I suppose because she found out I wouldn't have the strength to support and uplift HER and HER needs, seeing as I'm dealing with my own grief. People!! Is is any wonder I always liked animals better?!?!?!

I'm so sick of the lack of support and understanding from most of those 'out there'! Since Nissa's loss is the very worst one for me in so many ways, yet I'm not getting much more support than I got for any of my other losses to date (precious little to none, in all previous cases, in addition to active opposition to my sorrow)....I'm becoming bitter and cynical about the whole thing now.....and afraid. If I were to also lose my H (since he's the only one left to me now), could I also expect the same garbage from people? Probably. I guess it was pie in the sky dreaming, but I never expected my girl's passing to end up being complicated by all these kinds of things. I'd just gone through this kind of nonsense with my Mother's and brother's deaths, and now this....I give up on humanity!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with so much frustration and lack of support. It's not fair for people to seek out support from you, and then not reciprocate when you need it most. Times like this have really shown me who my real friends are, and I'm sorry to say, they are not many. But don't give up on humans. There are a lot of good folks out there, understanding folks who know how you feel and want to help.

As for Nissa's casket, if it were me, I would send it back and ask for a replacement. You were very particular in how you wanted it made, and you have the right to expect that it be done right. THis is something you want to do for your baby, and you should feel good about it. Also, why can't the company send it by better service than Parcel Post? That's like the slow boat to China. Tell them you want a shipping upgrade- maybe it will be handled more carefully.

Again, I'm sorry for everything you and your husband are going through. Take care and God bless.

Diane

Thanks for that, Diane. I've left a message for my H at work telling him I'd prefer if we at least try to fight for a replacement (though I'm sure he's not gonna be happy about having to deal with yet another battle!), as I'm fairly sure that if a funeral home got a complaint about a human's casket, they'd do more than just offer a pittance of money back.

I know it's far too common for those who've lost someone to find out who their real friends are, and like you, ours are few and far between, and even then, the ones we're left with leave much to be desired. Sigh....there's one who, to her credit, calls me every week, BUT it's apparent it's more for HER desires than my needs. She takes great delight in going on and on about the 3 cats in her home (only one of them is hers, the other 2 are her son's)....how cute they're being, what they're up to while we're talking, etc., etc. I'm afraid I'm going to have to be the 'bad guy' (what else is new?) and speak up and tell her it's not helpful for me to hear all about these frisky and ALIVE babies, when I'm busy missing my OWN girl every single second of every single day and night. It's also distressing to hear about how much she disregards their health issues and never remembers a single thing I've told her about what she might try for them. After having fought so long and hard for every aspect about Nissa's life, this disregard is what I'd consider as a form of animal abuse...but this woman thinks she's more than a doctor, so won't listen to anybody, even one with lots of experience with cats and their problems. And it's always more about the money than anything else. It's all such an uphill battle, when I'm least able to handle even a tiny fragment more.

Another friend actually got mad at me for 'forgetting' to call her about some gift party she'd invited me to...despite me telling her and everyone else for months now that my memory is terrible again with the grief. I'd told her at the beginning that it wasn't likely I'd attend as I don't care for the particular product line anyway, but if I wanted to come just for an outing and some company, I'd let her know beforehand. I was so busy with stuff regarding this stray cat we'd found, that it slipped my mind. But everyone seems to be expecting me to be acting at 100% levels and no one seems to be actively listening to what I say in the first place, either!

I've been wishing for YEARS, particularly since my losses began, that I could find some local people who are more like all of you on this and other grief boards. Gad, if there are so many of us feeling the same ways, you'd think it wouldn't be so hard to find such others all around us! Maybe I need to start crashing psychologist's conventions to find those with bigger hearts and an understanding of the grief process!? But until the Universe decides to put some of them right in my path here, THIS is where I need to be! You're all a God-send....now "if only" God would send some of us to the same locations!