Well, it is my turn to join this forum. Although, my Kiowa did not have to go so early. She was a beautiful and playful Siberian Husky, just two years old, who was maliciously poisoned while I was away from the house for just 2 hours.

At first, the pain is truly unbearable, I felt completely in a daze...and, then I went through my angry phase immediately, because one of the neighbors had complained about her howling.....I'm sorry....My doggy loved me! She didn't deserve to be poisoned.

After reading a few of these posts, I find myself trying to be strong, yet wanting to be weak. I've always had a hard time dealing with death, but I find it strange I hardly cry for family members, and this is tearing my whole world apart. I don't want to eat, I can't rest, and I'm doing the What If game...What if I had been a better owner, what if I had brought her inside instead of leaving her in the yard.....what if....And, I know its wrong...but during the idle times I dwell on her and how much I miss her...especially those wet kisses and licks to the ear.

The 4-5 mile runs weren't so bad....but, did she have to get so fast so quick? My goodness, I could hardly keep up and she was only 2. We were gonna have so many good years running together. And, she was so loving to my daughter, who wants to know where her daddys "snow dog" went...

This is painful....seeing my baby suffering was rough. Her eyes pleaded to me when I first detected the symptoms..Save me daddy, save me. I tried, baby. I really tried. But the toxins were too strong, and the medicine was weak.....I love you Kiowa...

I hope you are running in Doggy heaven, and showing all the other dogs thats how we do it! You are still my Champion.

Love,

ME- Just wanting to be whole again...

I am horrified by what happened to your baby. My heart goes out to you. I can only say that she knew you were there and that you loved her. I understand the not being able to sleep or eat. My thoughts are with you and your family. I wish I could say something to ease your pain.

I am so very sorry about your loss. That was a horrible thing to do. I also understand and know what it is like not to be able to sleep or eat. Your baby knew that you loved her. Please know that you are in my thoughts.

Sandi

I am so sorry about what happened to Kiowa. I understand the 'What If' game- please don't beat yourself up though. You had a special bond with Kiowa, and she will always love you- she is certainly in 'doggy heaven', and is not in pain any more.

God bless you and your family.

I am so sorry your baby was taken from you like that. No animal deserves that, no matter what. I believe that whoever did this will pay for it. Maybe not in this life, but they will definately have some explaining to do in the afterlife.

The "Eyes of God" thread comes into mind when I read this.

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=3287

Although the police probably can't do anything because it would be hard to prove, I think you should make a report. This way the neighbors would know that there is a report about them, and perhaps be nervous to do such a thing again.

People so evil might harm other pets or children. The police should know about them. Who knows, there might already be other reports.

While your beloved dog is now happy and safe in God's care, your neighbors, if they are responsible, will never get to know that joy.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Daisy's Mommy

i am so sorry for your loss. i agree with the others do file a report with the police. make the people who did this nervous. i would also go about the neighbor hood and inform other pet owners that your dog was poisoned. not mentioning any names or accusing.. but word of mouth also may get back to the ones who did actually did this horrible crime and then they will know they have been found out about without actually confronting them . like by saying "keep an eye out for your pets we dont know how or who did it but our furbaby was poisoned" we need to keep our pets safe from harm..people talk.. so maybe it would get back to them and they might slip up and admit they did it then you would have what you need for the report.
is there a way to prove it was them to actually get justice for your pup? did the vet determine what type of poison it was? all this should be on the police report. just so you have a record of it. people who take animals away from their loved ones so viciously should pay for their crime. i'm sorry i am so outraged by this crime. and i am so sorry for your loss i wish there was a way i coud take the pain away..
take care
michelle

I am so sorry for your loss. It was so senseless. I just don't understand why people can be so cruel.
Take heart that Kiowa is in a good place and will be waiting for you to be with her someday. I know the pain is great right now but know you have friends here to talk to, many kindred spirits who have gone through loss and grief.
I will be praying for you. Please take care!
Lisa

Thank you all for your support and kindness. Today was much better at work, and I really felt I was doing fine. But, then I turned onto our cul-de-sac....and that was all she wrote...

Every little bark, yelp, whine I heard from the other dogs reminded me of her. I waited for her to come running to me in the backyard...but, to no avail.

I think I will pursue the police report, just so I have a piece of mind. I don't know so much that I'd be the most diplomatic person to go door to door trying not to be suspicious of everyone..So, my wife will have to do that. I don't have any primary suspects...but, I'm suspicious of everyone.

What really bothers me the most is that it happened in our backyard, next to our childrens playground....

I miss her so much still, but I did eat better today, and really tried to focus at work...Hopefully this will only continue to get better..

When I get the energy to look at her pictures again, I'll send some on to you all. She was amazingly beautiful...big blue eyes, grey and white fur...and so lovable. She was my big baby....

Getting sad again....

Please, please, report this and follow up on it. Make sure they take you seriously. Make sure YOU take it seriously! Someone who is capable of murdering a Husky is dangerous.

I am so, so sorry to hear about this. Why do there have to be such people in this world??? Please do report this to the Police, maybe even contact the local news to put out the word and increase your chances of someone coming forward with information.

I'm so sorry,
Sandy

I'm so sorry ...

I was so sorry to hear your story! Yes, please send me a picture of your lovely huskey when you're up to it! Our babies are still with us...

I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Husky. Please post a picture of her so we can all put a face to her name. I know you will miss her desperately especially when you run.

I know the helpless feeling you have after your pet gets into something toxic. I can't say anyone poisoned Miss Ellie but I do know she got into something a month before she died that make her so, so sick. She puked and had diarrhea for a few days shook like a leaf, but got over it. She was never the same, then her kidneys shut down.

I went through the guilt of thinking I didn't watch her close enough when I was raking leaves. Not keeping her in her small exercise pen that she hated and let her explore our new place at the RV ranch. I never dreamed someone would have something out that she could have gotten into but it happened.

Could it be your dog might have simply gotten into something? No one poisoned my dog but I believe she found some insectide or something toxic on the ground that made her sick and ultimately caused her kidney failure and ultimate demise.

If someone did do this intentionally they will pay the price if not in this life, in the afterlife on judgement day. I believe people who abuse animals are demons on earth.

Hello.Like the others I,too,am so sorry for your loss.No dog should have to go thur something like that.It's just awful what your neighbors did to her.I agree with the others that you should definately file a police report and also go around to all of your other neighbors so they can be on the lookout for anyone acting supicious.Anyone who would do that to a dog might also be capable of harming a small child.There are so many awful people in the world and they need to be punished...if not in this lifetime then they will certainly be in the afterlife!When you are up to it please post a picture of your beautiful boy so we can all see what he looked like.Your right about him not getting a fair deal, he should have had a long life but someone chose to take that away from him.In the short time that he was here at least he had a good life and a good home and a family that loved him.My heart goes out to you and I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.I hope by knowing you are not alone in your pain that it will help you just alittle bit.We all know what your going thur in your loss because we've all been there.I lost my boy Sox on Oct. 13th and it is still painful for me to think about it.Bond together as a family and you will be able to get thur this.I'd like to say that it gets easier to deal with but in reality it doesn't.You just get used to it and with time it does get alittle easier to bear.My thoughts and prayers are with you and please come back whenever you need a friend.We care! Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

A very similar thing happened to my sister some years ago. She desperately wanted to let it go, and put it behind her, but she couldn't.
She hounded the police and nagged the sheriff. She leafleted, and pamphleted, and postered. She installed surveillance cameras in her own, and her neighbors backyards. She started a neighborhood watch group that included some members of the local outlaw-biker gang, who patrolled the night on their Harleys.
This went on about 10 months until, one quiet afternoon, when most people were at work, one of the bikers caught some one in his back yard.
Imagine the monster who poisoned my sister's dog being confronted by a 350 lb color-wearing biker.
Long story short he went to jail, where he was murdered by one of his fellow inmates. Good riddance!
I am so sorry for what happened to Kiowa. The others are right you, must report what happened.I would call the metro desk of the paper, and the local tv station. With luck, you may keep someone elses angel from harm.

let us know how you are doing,
Dayna

Your story brought tears to my eyes, what an horrendous experience...I am so sorry, that is just terrible what people can actually do in this world...it makes you so discouraged... send your energy into positive paths, but don't give up I say keep trying you never know someone might know something....remember all the good times and the love....she will help you get through this in the long run, its a strange twist but true, at least in my case. All the best to you and your family, you will be in my prayers. Tory, Hrudeys Momma..

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Snow Dog. If someone did this on purpose, they owe a debt they can never repay, and they will suffer, if not on this plane of existence, then on another. I think the others are right though, this should be reported because it might help save another innocent life.

Please know that you are not to blame in any way. You cannot possibly have known that your baby was in any danger in your own back yard. Someone who would do such a thing just could not have been expected or anticipated; you could never have known that anyone like that was close by. You've mentioned that there are other dogs in the neighborhood...and that you hear them making their sounds...you could not have known that anyone felt like singling out your dog because she made dog sounds. In fact if I were in this neighborhood you describe, I think I would assume I was pretty much surrounded by people who loved and appreciated dogs. (And hopefully this will be helpful in getting the word out that there is danger.) Please try not to suffer with guilt, there is no way you could have prevented this.

I'm terribly sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I, too, am so sorry this horrible tragedy befell your beautiful Husky and you. My heart hurts so for you!

I agree with how lynda put it, but her reply also made me think of another possibility, as something similar happened to our neighbour's cat a few years ago, though he survived, but with some kidney damage. Is it at all possible that your doggie got into something either on your property, or adjacent to it? I'm thinking of things like antifreeze, windshield-wiper fluid, or some other household or yard chemical....a mere teaspoon of antifreeze can kill a feline outright, and this substance is what was suspected in our neighbour's cat's case. Animals can simply lick a bit of something like this up from a garage floor or on the street, in a puddle, or wherever, completely unbenownst to us. And just like a case of deliberate poisoning, we might not have been able to predict, or even entertain the notion that something like this could happen. I'm not trying to suggest you were possibly to blame, but just that perhaps this was simply an accident that no one could have foreseen. But if there's any possibility of this having happened, awareness of the risks of many commonly-used, but dangerous, man-made compounds might also avert another tragedy in the future, as much as can be managed.

But if it was indeed something deliberate, I agree with everyone that word should be put out there, in whatever way you can handle. I do know this happens, and much more frequently than we like to know, or hear about through the news, where it's often not even reported. Our beloved animals must be protected as best we can, and often the highest good for all can be achieved through outrage from the public.

Regardless of cause, though....your shock and sorrow must be huge and I wish I could wave my magic wand and turn back the clock for you. I'm so sorry....

I find it hard to believe that someone could do such a thing. I reckon you should be suspicious and trust your instincts - it may prevent another dog being harmed in this way. Know you are in a place here where we all feel the same as you and take some comfort in the fact that her 2 years with you were great.

Debbie
Sheps mama

I'm so sorry about your Kiowa. It makes me so angry that someone could be so cruel and heartless to hurt a defenseless animal like that. Nothing that happened was your fault though and you can't blame yourself. I too play the "what if" game. If only Alley hadn't been allowed outside, she'd never have got the parasite that killed her. If only, if only, if only. It never ends but it doesn't change anything. What happened, happened and we can't change it. I will feel guilt for the rest of my life for not preventing what happened to her somehow. But I do take comfort in knowing that when she was alive, she was well loved and taken care of. Your Kiowa was also and knows this and would never blame you for what happened. The blame lies with the moster that did this to her and if there is any justice in the world, someday that person will know the same pain.

We can't lock up our babies in a padded room for their safety. What good is a long life in a prison?

If I could be granted three wishes for us all; the first one ,of course, would be that our angels were safe and whole and back by our side. But failing that, I would wish to erase quilt from all our repetoires. Guilt is a useless, destructive emotion.
For a while I felt guilty that I didn't know Mack was sick sooner than I did.I thought that because I was spending alot of time with my elderly Mother, who was recovering from a fall, or working intensively with our disabled Sheltie to get her on all fours again, that I had failed to notice signs that Macks health was failing. I told myself that I had exchanged Mack's life for Sadies. And all kinds of other nonsense. I have since learned that there are no warning signs of hemangiosarcoma, and 99% of all cases are not diagnosed until the disease is in a very advanced state.
I have never seen so many beautiful, pampered dogs and cats, Beautiful Hrudley, and dapper Sox, sleek Denis and exotic Ceasar, elegant Alley and masculine Shep, I don't believe for one minute that any of you failed in your devotion them.
Be comforted, or at the very least ( here comes the tough love), get over yourselves. There are things in this world that are beyond our control, that make it dangerous for us all. "What if " we did the very best we could and our loved ones suffered anyway? I sometimes think we are more afraid of that reality than our imagined failings.

You all are in my prayers.

Macks Mom

Hrudeys mom,
I'm sorry for my poor spelling. I blame the tears in my eyes

Macks Mom,
Dayna

That is so very true. Alley LOVED to prowl around outside and in the woods. When she was ready to come to bed, she would be right there on the bed and wouldn't move for anything but when she wanted out, she wanted out. She loved to chase bugs and critters outside, she loved to sit on the roof (her favorite hiding place!) and for some reason she loved to roll around in the dirt of the driveway. With her long black fur, you can imagine the site that was, covered in dust, trying to crawl in bed with me!

Alley would have hated to be stuck in my tiny apartment here. She had nine years of freedom and I wouldn't have taken that away from her. I just wish I could have protected her better outside. I just wish I had been there with her at the end. I just wish she was here with me now.

Paula

Dayna,


That is a GREAT point....and one that deserves a lot more pondering. THANK you!

I also try to constantly remind myself that suffering happens to people who are ill, or who get in accidents, too...more often than not. So we just can't realistically expect EVERYTHING to be, or go, perfectly, in the dying and passings of our furbabies, either. It's just not realistic and sets us up for nothing but more pain.

And I also agree that an imprisoned life does not impart a good quality of life that makes life worth living....unless that individual prefers to be indoors, as some do. For me and my kids, this would never have been acceptable. I'd tried to restrict them more (especially Sabin, who loved MORE than just his yard) when we were expecting a cat bylaw to be imposed (we won the battle and it wasn't, in the end)....and he was miserable. I felt a lot of guilt over that unnecessary effort, as he spent his last summer and fall being a bit less free, then died in the winter. (I never forgave the town manager for his scare tactics about this bylaw, and helping to ruin Sabin's last seasons) I've also heard that cats, in particular, usually have a great NEED to physically connect to the natural ground/earth in order to stay whole in body, mind and spirit. I wouldn't deny any kids of mine anything I wouldn't also willingly deny myself (unless they didn't care), and if I had to live indoors my entire life, I know I'd wither away very quickly.

This whole thing reminds me of those emails you get about how those of us in a now-older generation most often survived the risks and hazards of life w/o bike helmets, etc. Our parents took what were considered normal chances with OUR lives, and even though certain things are now riskier, some things are no different, really, and we can't possibly guard against every conceivable risk, even if some things end tragically. It can happen to any or all of us, one way or another, but many factors have to be weighed in any choice and we just can't account for every single one. Hence, the saying that we can only do our best, and the rest we just have to live with, or learn from....and throw away the guilt ASAP.