Okay. I had a fairly decent day, all things considered, until I checked my mail this evening. There was an envelope from Schtoobing's vet. They MAILED me a bill for his final bloodwork and the cremation, and I don't even have his ashes back yet! I have issues with this.

I thought Schtoobing and I were more than just a customer number to these people. They have been very supportive and kind to us all along. I even brought them gifts last week, to thank them for being so good to Schtoobing. I was not expecting something as impersonal as an invoice. I have always paid our bills in person, at the office, so I was expecting to pay the final bill when I picked up Schtoobing's ashes.

Paying the bill is not the issue. It's the fact that I have been calling almost every day for over 2 weeks, waiting to get my baby's ashes back, and they keep saying they are not back. But they send me a bill for cremation anyway??

I'm really upset. I think it was really inconsiderate of them to do this, because they all know me and Schtoobing, and as a vet office, they should be more conscious of people's feelings. They all know that I am really struggling with the loss of Schtoobing, and this feels like a slap in the face.

What do you guys think? Is this how vets usually handle things like this?

i am so sorry that happened to you. maybe they did not realise that you were planning to pay the final bill upon recent of the ashes. it could have been computer generated and was sent out .
you can request what crematory was used and get the phone number and place a call to them to see why it is taking so long. most places require 7-10 days for the cremation.
i know when kitten was cremated i paid for the bill(services) before i left the office therefore i did not get a bill and had less stress when they called to say that "my special furbaby had arrived". it was much easier on me.

i am sure it was not meant to be sent out to you like that. i am so sorry . i have had a bad day myself today and have been weepy. i keep looking for my babies.. its hard. i did feel better when she was finally home with me again.
i did drive like a maniac to go get her from the vets office..i just couldnt let her be there one more day with out me..i know how you feel. i'm sending hugs and prayers your way

luv
michelle

((((((((((((((Schtoobing's mom)))))))))))))))))


I am so sorry... I am sure that they did not mean for that to be sent to you like that. I know that with Jake we paid for everything right then and there when we arrived, before he was PTS.

I wish that there was something that I could say that would make you feel better. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Sandi

I am sorry they have been so inconsiderate of your loss. They just don't think. A few weeks after my baby left me I had to take my other baby to the vet. He has been sick with ringworm and upper respiratory illness. A tech at the vet tried to get me to "look at two kittens" she was fostering. I said no. Then a couple of weeks later, when I brought my baby back, she tried again. She was very pushy that time. So I mentioned it to the vet and stated I am not ready to replace my baby. People just don't think and some don't really feel that deeply. I don't think it was intentional. Try to find out where in the process the ashes are. Tell the vet how you feel. Don't let this upset you further.
Please let us know what happens.

Michelle, Sandi and Booboosmom, thank you for your responses! I haven't contacted the vet office yet, because I'm still thinking of how to handle it. I have calmed down quite a bit from the jolt of last night, and I have to believe that the invoice was sent out by someone who didn't know my situation. I'm sure that when I explain how it made me feel, they will feel terrible about it. I just want them to be more careful of how they handle final bills in the future, and to be more sensitive to other pet parents who are dealing with the death of their furbabies.

Something nice did happen last night, after I started this thread. I came across a hand-held tape recorder, that I used to use for taking notes. I didn't know what was on the tape, so I rewound to the beginning and pressed 'play'. It was a recording of me and Schtoobing, having a conversation! He used to sleep under the covers on the bed. I would find this little lump and lay down next to him. He'd wake up and make these little purring 'grunts'- so cute. Then he'd make his way out from under the covers, like 'surprise! It's me!'. I have about 5 minutes of this on tape, of me giggling and talking to Schtoob, and him talking back. It made me so happy to have that vivid memory of how close we were.

Sorry to hear about your problems... I hate hearing stuff like this... Like others have said, I would definately get in contact with the cremation service and find out what the deal is. If it is something unreasonable then I would tell the vet they might want to consider finding another cremation service to work with. To me, anything over 2 weeks is inexcusable. These cremation people should know how deeply we feel about our babies and delaying their return is beyond unacceptable.

I'm glad you found that tape. That must have been a real nice surprise to be able to hear Schtoobing again and know you will be able to whenever you want

Hope you get your baby back very soon.
Keep us upated.

oh my.. to hear your baby's voice again. that is so sweet that you have that. you play that anytime you need to!! make copies of it so that you have extra's.

i wish i had something like that . both of my girls were very verbal.
the funny thing lately though i have the intense urge to pet my girls..wierd feeling i think its because i know i cant touch them again and i need to. just to feel them one more time.. its a really intense feeling..i can't explain it. today i found some of my girls fur in the place they both used to sleep..i saved it. not as soft as they were but still worth saving.....
my best to you...
michelle
i wanted to add ,your story about your baby and how you got him touched my heart, very sweet and loving.

Your finding that tape is wonderful. I have Boo Boo's meow on one of the picture frames that will record for a few seconds. My baby talked a lot, like michelle's kitty. I kept thinking I should buy a video recorder and tape them. Now I wish I had.

I am happy that you found that recording. It cheered me up.

Does anybody know how long it takes to get your pets cremains back? It had been since Nov. 9th and I am starting to wonder if they have lost his ashes. Is 20 days a long time? It seems like when I had Shelby done back in Feb, it only took 4 days.
I will just die if they have lost them. I have not received a final bill yet BUT I have also not receved him back. Should I call and ask? What are my options?

Yes vets need to have standards for dealig with such matters. I payed for everything ahead of time so there was nothing to worry about after he passed. I don't know how long it takes to get the ashes back, I would think no longer than a week, but it may depend on the crematorium. Zack came back to my within a week, although his paw prints could take up to a month or so.

I am sorry you are having to stress out about this, I would call your vet and explain how you are feeling. Ask about his ashes, that goes for you to Sherman's mom, if you need to ask for the number of the crematorium and talk to them in person. Worst case go to the crematorium but I would think your vet should be able to work everything out.

Stay strong, much love Jazmin

It may vary from vet to vet because most send their "clients" to outside cremation services (the one my vet uses is called Faithful Friends) so it may take some time depending on the backlog of cremation orders. Precious died on 06 August and I received his ashes on 14 August. The seal on the bottom of the urn stated that he was cremated on the 9th so that was pretty fast.
I paid for his cremains when I picked them up. I had been their client all of Precious' life (almost 19 years) so they knew Precious and I very well. I take Tigger and Patches to them too. It depends on the vet how they handle business matters; I just wish yours had waited until you picked the ashes up. A little thoughtless of them to send a bill knowing you'd be there when the ashes were delivered to their office! I'm sorry you had to endure that.
Lisa

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the frustration you are feeling. The University Hospital where they cared for Yoda for 5 years would not release his ashes until they had received payment in full and the check had cleared. I guess this isn't so unusual after all, though I find it cold and uncaring. Prayers and hugs.
Theresa

Thanks everyone, for the kind words and suggestions. I haven't contacted the vet office about my concerns yet, and I'm sort of glad I didn't fly off the handle like I wanted to. Last night I received a very nice sympathy card from Schtoobing's vet.

If I don't hear from them today, I will call tomorrow and check on the status of his ashes. I'm trying to be patient. *sigh* I just want Schtoobing back...

Wow, I am sorry to hear about this stuff you are having to deal with. As if mourning wasn't enough. I do think that receiving the invoice before you received the ashes is careless, tacky, inconsiderate and bad business. I really think that it should have been evident to them that you were still waiting for the ashes and that they should not have mailed the invoice even if that is what they typically do after a certain amount of time has lapsed since the last visit. Unfortunately it seems like any time I have ever spoken up to a Vet's or Doctor's office about something they did that bothered me, there would always be some sort of lingering att*itude afterwards from some of the staff involved. So I try to choose my battles wisely.... But certainly I hope that they treat you with the utmost respect and compassion if you do decide to say something. And you certainly have every right to be upset about this and to say something about it.

But on the bright side, it's so wonderful that you found that video. It sounds so cute and loving.

Sandy

I called this vet this morning, to ask if Schtoobing's ashes were back. They put me on hold to check, then came back and said, 'Yes, he's here.' I said, "How long has he been there?' and they said that the ashes had been dropped off 'sometime this week'. I have been calling and calling, and patiently waiting to get my baby's ashes back, and he's been sitting at the vet's office for who knows how long. So I called the crematorium place. They said it takes 7-10 days after they get the pet. They didn't say anything about a 'backlog'. It's been 17 days since they picked him up!

I drove right over to the vet’s office. The front desk ladies were very nice. They said that they have several pets in the office, and that they must've missed when Schtoob came back. I didn't say anything about how they messed up. I didn't feel like raising my voice and getting angry. I just wanted my baby back. They handed me a white bag with a letter and a small white rectangular container inside. I took it out to make sure it was really Schtoobing. There was a sticker on it, with his name. I think the ladies were expecting me to break down or something, but I did not allow them to see me upset. I paid the bill, said thank you and left.

I put the bag with Schtoobing's remains on the passenger seat and read the accompanying letter from the funeral home. It said:

"Schtoobing was individually cremated at Forever Faithful Pet Memorial Gardens and Cremation Center at 6pm on November 20, 2006 with the greatest amount of care and dignity. Please be assured that the remains returned to you are the actual remains of your loved pet. We, at Forever Faithful, are proud to guarantee the highest level of death care for your pet and stand at your service during this difficult time."

I just don't know what to think or feel right now. I'm upset that it took 10 more days after cremation, for me to get Schtoob's ashes back. I think that was too long. I hate the thought of his remains sitting on a shelf in the vet's back office like that. I take comfort in the fact that I finally have him back, and that he was handled with respect at the crematorium. I'm considering writing a letter to the vet office, telling them how this has affected me, but I will probably just let it go. I don't have the emotional energy to spend on these people anymore. I just wanted my baby back home with me, where he belongs.

I am glad to hear that your Schtoobing is back with you where he should be. That is the main thing.

Whether or not you send a letter is up to you. Maybe give it some time and then do it. But someone in charge should know about this mishap so maybe something like this can be prevented from happening to some other person and their baby in the future.

I'm sorry the Vet's office had to leave this kind of impression with you. It' a shame since you seemed to have a good relationship.

But the main thing is that you have your Schtoobing back with you and the note from the crematorium is so comforting. So reassuring.

It's been 1 month for me today since Taco passed. It's a sad day.

Take care and be well,
Sandy

Thank you so much- it's so nice to come here and be understood. Yes, the letter was a comfort. I have taken it out and read it several times now, and will probably read it several times more. I am trying not to let the recent frustration cloud my entire experience with this vet office. They really are good people, but I think I will take the advice of Simba'sDaddy and see if I can help make the next person's experience a little better.

Sandy, I know your heart is full of love for your Taco, especially today. I wish I could say something to comfort you, because I know how much you must miss your sweet baby...

I am glad to hear that you got your Schtoobing back at least he's home now with you and you know for the most part he was handled with dignity. Try and put the vet behind you, people make mistakes it is just to bad that they happened to you and at this time.

We are all here for you and I send you my love at this trying time.

xxJazmin

I'm so glad you and Schtoob are back together again! I know he's in another form but he is with you in so many other ways as well. I hope the bond you shared with him brings you more comfort as time goes by.
Precious sent me something very sweet this past Friday while I was at work. I was holding the line on the phone and the song True Colours came on (Cyndi Lauper) and at the same time there was a magnificent rainbow that appeared right outside my office window. Talk about a HUGE sign from my baby boy!! (He was never the subtle one!! LOL)
Lisa