Lori,
I know how you feel. Most days i just lay in bed, crying, or talking to my sweetheart...I HATE getting out of bed, but i'm trying to take care of myself for Oreo.........she wouldnt want me to "go over the edge," nor would your Moose, you..............
i have "sane" times and crazy times too........iys like my brain is in a war-against itself.........
"Dang I know Moose wouldn't want me to grieve so much I make myself sick, but I can't seem to stop it"........i feel the exact same way
i also dont want the holidays - if i had my way id CANCEL them, but my parents are like "nothing is going to ruin our holidays"..........;'( they are all CHEERY about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! little do they know they are STABBING me in the heart and gut (the little i havce left of them) to me the "holidays" willl be like any other day - just trying to survive and force the food down my throat
you are blessed to have Autumn........6 years ago, when my precious sweet bunny, Baby, passed away, we had had Oreo for a year or so, and little did i realize how MUCH she comforted me during the intense grief,,,,,,,,;'( now that she is gone, there are no more furbabies in the house, and its so horrible.........back 6 years ago, i realize NOW i mainly kept going for Oreo............but now what is there???? i feel like - whats the use in getting up each day........im going through such a time that part of me wants my parents to adopt a dog.........i dont REALLY want a dog, i just want my babies back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am just lonely, not sleeping, and hanging off a cliff by the ends of my fingernails, and i know my Oreo understands all my reactions - crazy or "sane".........
thank you for saying my baby is so beautiful

she is, isnt she???? her soul is even MORE beautiful (if you can even "build" upon PERFECTION!) Your Moose looks beautiful and sweet too!!!!!! our black and white PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS BEAUTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We also didnt leave Oreo......she too had health problems and needed her FAMILY, plus we COULDNT be apart from her, our love.........we snuck her into hotels ALL the time!!! she loves to travel......i miss her so much.........i still cant believe, i dont WANT too
i feel guilty and angry at myself b/c for a week at last Christmas, and for 6 weeks in Feb/March.....i went down to North Carolina to visit my then-fiance......;'( Oreo was FINE, her health was FINE, and i talked to her on the phone nearly every day i was gone.................;'( when i got home from the 6 weeks though, she looked like she had been through a war ;'( ;'( ;'( although she kissed me and sucked my fingers as normal........she was overjoyed to have me home with her..........i feel terrible now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;'( was her tumor starting to grow while i was gone? did the stress of her Mommy leaving so long TRIGGER the illness??????!!!!! did she think i had abandoned her and no longer loved her??????? ;'( was she sad, depressed, lonely, ALONE without me (even though the rest of the family was home with her, and she loved them and they loved her, I was/is her Mommy, and we were/are closest and soulmates, she loved/loves me most and I her).........i want to kill myself if i put her through an INKLING of stress!!!! *weeping*
my fiance ended up being a JERK and breaking my heart........i had no idea what was going to happen with my baby...........................i am glad i was with her and loving with her practically every waking moment since i came home though.............why did i waste precious time and energy with a JERK - time i COULD have been with my precious baby??????? *weep*
I'm sorry, i meant to try to encourage you......................................
just remember your Moose did NOT want to leave........just like my Oreo didn't want too either............
*hugs* Laura, OreosMommy
I love you sweetheart!!!!!!!!