Do you have Rememberance Sunday services in the U.S.A.?
It is meant to be a rememberance day for all those servicemen & women who have died in wars, but I have also always treated it as a day to remember the dead people I have known. My mum & dad & brother, & so many others.
This Sunday my best beloved Furry was first in my thoughts - since she left us on July 23rd I have been suffering, but have been coping, but now I seem to be drowning in grief again.
The autumn leaves are the colour of her fur, so everywhere I go I see her.
I am tormented again with all the what if's & I feel that I should have & could have done more to keep her alive. When I read about the attention to detail that people have taken about their furbabies treatment's I think that I didn't try hard enough. We only went to see the specialist once & after that we didn't take her to the vet's unless she was poorly. If she we had taken more often perhaps they could have tried something else?
I miss her so & know that I will never care for anyone or anything as much again in my life.
I worry that she didn't know how much I loved her & curse myself for all the times when I could have been with her but was out doing other things instead. I never really thought she would die, even on the last weekend when she was so ill.
My husband doesn't want to talk about her any more & friends all assume I'm over losing her by now, or are too embarrassed by my grief, so this is the only place that I can say how I feel.
Furry I love you so.
Judith

In the U.S. we have Memorial Day which is observed the last Monday of May.

I have learned that the grief process can repeat itself and sometimes the order in which the process occurs is not the norm, Denial, anger, guilt, sorrow is the typical way grief will manifest it's ugly face in our lives but that is not always the case. The forum administrator has some wise words which I still contemplate from time to time. I will quote

"while all people here help each other, there are times
where an advanced degree of help may be needed.
if at any time you feel overwhelmed or consumed
by grief, it is always best to seek professional help"

A common denominator is apparent during any grief that I have had when it comes to people or animals I love that die. It has presented itself with the untimely death of baby Chase. It will not go away now that she is buried in the backyard. There is a reason for this and I intend to find it. I may and probably will have to use the above described method to "facilitate a cure" if, in fact there is one

My Chase died on November 10th. I am a 15 year veteran of the Canadian Forces. That day on the 11th I mourned all who fell in battle...and my Chase.

My you find your peace

Judith

How beautiful Furry was! I understand how much you miss her.

We have memorial day here in the U.S.A., in May and veterans day on Nov 11th. I guess we kind of split them up.

Grief is rough, it's a rollercoaster. You have a while and think you are coping, and then wham, right back into it. The first year is very hard, not all the time but some days that are symbols to us of our loved ones and holidays are OMY. You can try to brace yourself but it doesn't seem to work much. For you it's not 4 months yet! The people who say or assume you should "be over it" are just plain wrong, you shouldn't. You are NORMAL. I'm glad you found this place where you can come and talk

It's 10 years since I lost one before this, and I can tell you you never "get over" it. You just learn to live with the pain. When someone dies, your reality changes. Things are never "the same", you don't go "back to normal" you just learn to live in the new reality. It takes a while to learn to live there. It feels so unstable for quite a while.

You had to live your life, and sometimes you weren't there or didn't do "everything", oh I know that feeling. You did your very best, no one can ask more of you than that, not even you.

As for taking her to the vet or the specialist more, you did what you felt was right. I've asked myself the same questions. Look at it this way, she was where she wanted to be, home with you. They could have done things that hurt her more or kept her for a night or more, in my mind she was happier home. Be gentle with yourself and try to find things that give you comfort. I'm thinking of you and your Furry.

Love
Lori

Judith,
I have always celebrated that day because my grandmum was a Brit and she instilled the meaning of that day in all of her grandchildren and great and great-great grandchildren. So it's always been a special day for my family too.
Please don't think you didn't do enough or love Furry enough -- you did and she knew it. She knew how much you loved her and STILL love her. Even though we lose our pets, it doesn't diminish the love we had for them while they were physically with us. Love goes on through anything, it can never die or be taken away. Neither can the bond that I keep reminding everyone about. I still have a bond with all of my deceased family members and pets as well. Precious' bond with me remains VERY strong. I know the upcoming holidays may be a bit tougher than usual this year because he is not here but it doesn't mean he won't be a part of it. He will! I believe that our furry friends stay with us and watch over us while we are on this earth. When we leave it, and when we're reunited again, it will be such a sweet day.
Lisa