My sweet baby Miss Giz was hit by a car and taken from me on the morning of 10/23. She was almost 12 years old and such a huge part of my life. We don’t have children and loved this little girl as our child.

It was a morning like any other – my husband took the dogs out front for their morning pee when suddenly the front door flung open and my husband was screaming for me to put some clothes on and come outside. I instantly knew what had happened. I ran out the front door in my robe and saw my sweet little girl lying there in the street. My husband again yelled at me to get dressed. At that point I thought we were rushing to the vet so I ran inside and frantically got dressed. By the time I got back out there he was holding her in his arms and shaking his head no. He had knelt down to pet her and tell her to hold still and she bit him. She was probably in so much pain that it was her instinct. He didn’t pull away from her and said that she died immediately after that. I’ve got a tremendous amount of guilt. She was so loving, so forgiving and I failed to protect her. Rather than going to her immediately I wasted time getting dressed. I wanted her to know that I was with her when she took her final breath. I know dogs should be kept on a leash at all times!!! She always listened so well, we thought that it was ok to let her out front early in the morning and late at night when there was no real activity going on in the neighborhood and we were ALWAYS with her. There are other dogs in the neighborhood who roam free day and night unattended and this happens to my baby!

I can’t concentrate at work, I cry all the time, and I hate going home. I constantly think of all the what if’s – even though I know I can’t change a thing. I miss her little face so much and I’d do anything to have her back. She was my best friend, always there for me.
We have plans on moving to Denver and now I have this horrible feeling that when we do we’ll be leaving her. I was so excited about moving and now I’m dreading it. I’m having such a hard time finding support from people that can relate to this tremendous loss.

Please leash your dogs no matter how well they listen. I’ve learned such a hard lesson.

I am so sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You have come to the right place, we all understand. I just wish I could do more than offer a shoulder.


Mark

I am so sorry for you! We lost our baby, a kitty named Moose, the same day. You took good care of her, you did your best, no one can ask more of you. I know you always did what you thought was best for her.

It's easy to drown in guilt, but it was just a stupid accident. Please try to be gentle with yourself.

I understand about moving, we have been looking for a new house too. Now I never want to move from here. I understand the "why did I get dressed and not just hold her?" So many questions, did I remember to tell him I loved him that day? Hey we did what we did, and it was our best and done with endless love.

Take the lesson but not the quilt.

Love
Lori

I am so sorry for your loss.There are no words to make you feel better but I want you to know that what happened to her was not your fault!! It was an awful accident and it couldn't have been prevented.You did the best you knew how and she knew that you loved her.Please don't let guilt get the best of you,it's not going to help if you keep blaming yourself.Try to remember that she loved you and you loved her and remember all the good memories you have of her and all the good times you shared together.We understand your pain here because we've been thur the same thing as you have.I had to put my 16 year old kitty Sox to sleep alittle over one month ago because his kidneys were failing.I had tremedous guilt afterwards,thinking I could have done something about it had I known he was sick earlier.Come here when you need to let your feelings out and we will try to be as supportive as we can.We know how your feeling and the pain is very very real.If others don't understand that then that is their problem.You can't change people or make them be more compassionate.I will add you to my prayers tonight and I hope you will soon find peace knowing that you and your husband did everything you could for your sweet girl.My heart goes out to you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)

Thank you all so much for your replies, it means so much. I wish I could fast forward to the day that I only remember the good things. I've tried to make a list of good things to focus on but the bad just keeps popping in my head.

I need to be able to forgive my husband as well. I know he loved her just as much and feels awful but I can't get past the what if's...

Has anyone here sought professional help? Do you think that I should allow myself more time before I seek it out?

I too wish I could fast forward to the day when all those feelings you describe will cease to dominate my life. May God give you the strength you need in the days of darkness that loom ahead. I have talked to a "pro" in the past after a traumatic incident I experienced in the army. If you have already thought of that...what could possibly be the harm in doing it. It certainly can't hurt! Go ahead pick up the phone...these folks know what they are doing. We are responsible for our own recovery and asking for help of any kind anywhere, anytime is OK

John and others have said it so well. I'm so sorry to hear about this. I'm still grieving my baby too. We are here for you.

I'm so sorry about the tragic loss of your sweet baby. Please don't feel guilty. I hope you find comfort here, and come to realize that you did the best you could for your loved one.

I. too am waiting for the time when the good memories push away the bad ones, and I will not feel the guilt of not being with my baby when he died. God bless you and comfort your heart.

I think I've got her pic attached to my profile now?

My kitty died after being hit by a car, and I felt guilty for a long time that I'd like her go outside. But we live an a deadend street where there is very little traffic- there are only seven houses on the street. It's so hard to shake that guilt, though. I hope you can remember that it wasn't your fault.

Magdalene