Sorry if this poem is a bit long. I wrote it less than a week after my childhood friend and pet Tia died. I had returned to my job as a one-on-one writing tutor at a local university and I had no students that day so I was sitting alone for really the first time since Tia died (at home I was always around some family member or another) and I was really depressed having all that quiet alone time to think about my loss. So I wrote this...
The earthy musky scent
of fur, scuffed paw pads
soft but worn like old leather
wet nose against my hands
your warm body lay lengthwise by mine
we breathed in unison
I turned, you turned
your tiny feet touched my back
Deep brown-black eyes
so full of love
opened each morning to see me first
Sometimes you remained in bed
unwilling to give up sleep so soon
I remember both our childhoods
first cradling your tiny body
trembling, so full of hope
I vowed my life for yours
we were connected
long childhood summers we ran
Fall we scattered careful piles of leaves
Winter snow never concerned you much
Spring rain was an inconvenience
you required my head to get wet first
I didn't mind, I never did.
In storms my first thought was your safety
we huddled together under chair cushions
Every return home was a parade
you ran great floppy circles
in joyful exhuberance, your ears flew in the wind
Sometimes you pawed the air
reared up on your hind legs
like a wild horse
Every time I left I dreaded leaving you behind
every vacation you filled my thoughts
your greatest joy was to be at my side
this was my joy as well
for being near you I felt the warm contentedness
of a mother holding her child to her chest.
Since everything living must want to leave, someday,
I dare not begrudge you your choice to go
But sometimes I wish I could have followed you.
This life without your constant presence
seems devoid of color, blank
not a canvas, which suggests possibilites,
but a black page, upon which no color can leave a mark
I'll forever miss your warm smell
the smell of childhood
and the easy sleep that came
from the lullaby of your breath beside me.