Last Tuesday my wife & I had to put our little Flakey cat to sleep. She lived over a year with kidney disease, and then hyper thyroidism. But then heart disease set in, and she just fell apart. Our regular vet heard her heart "galloping" and x-rays showed fluid around her lungs. She recommended I bring her to an animal hospital, a very good one in long island where they could do a blood transfusion (her anemia was also getting much worse) and they could possibly drain the fluid around her lungs.

I brought her in on Saturday. The doctor called me late Saturday night and told me I had better come in right away, because I might have to say goodbye. It was so hard because my wife was away on business. She was OK by the time I got there - very calm, scared & helpless, but OK - she had pulled through the fluid draining procedure.

We went to see her on Sunday, and they put us in a quiet room alone with her. After a few minutes, she calmed down & she was even walking around a little, looking out the window at the birds. I really thought she was going to pull through. But then Monday she took a turn for the worst, and they had to keep her in an oxygen cage. The doctors tried everthing - blood transfusion, plasma, something called oxyglobin, but in the end she just couldn't breath without the oxygen.

Deciding it was time to put her to sleep was one of the hardest things we ever had to do, besides putting Butch to sleep a year and a half ago. Butch was a mean old female kitty - mean to everyone but us! She was really just a big sweety inside, but Butch is another story. Flakey was sweet inside & out - a cute little black & white with kind of long hair.

When we put Butch to sleep, we still had Flakey to mourn with us, console us, & cheer us up. We could just pick her up and cuddle her. But now they're both gone, and our appartment is so lonely & quiet. This is the first night my wife has had to work & I've had to be home alone. The cats were our kids. Losing Flakey has made me think alot about Butch too. They were both so funny, and they would make us laugh every day!

I've been reading some of the posts here for a few days, and I am so sorry for everyone here. I can really feel your pain. Thanks for reading my long post. It really felt good to "talk" about all this.

I am sorry for the loss of both Flakey and Butch. I think I speak for all of us when I say I totally understand the quiet and emptyness. Its something we all have experienced. Flakey is out of pain now and running free at the bridge waiting for you to be reunited. I'm sure she knew how much she was loved ... hold on to the good memories they will help you through the dark days ahead.

Hugs,
Beth

I'm so sorry that you had to put Flakey to sleep. She sounds like she was a wonderful cat. At least she's not in pain anymore. You probably have some wonderful memories of her, hold on to them.

I am sorry to hear about Flakey, and Butch too. You certainly did everything you could to save little Flakey. I haven't even mentioned on this site, but Hannah and I used to have a cat too. Actually, I had that little old cat (Phoebe) for 17 years and had to have her put to sleep. This was about 10 years ago now. She had hypo-thyroidism and was on meds, but Phoebe was SO sick. I came home one day, and she could barely walk. There was no question that it was time for her. I haven't really thought about it much for a long time. I had my little Hannah to comfort me and grieve with me then. It's so difficult when you're all alone.

I do have a bird still, a ##ateil named Babe that I hand-fed, and he's always wanting to be around me. For me, it's not the same, but he is some comfort. He even went with me to visit a friend the other day and got to spend the night away from home with me. I'm trying to pay more attention to him. He sang a little song for Miss Hannah the night before I took her to be put to sleep. He KNEW she was sick. It's lonely for me now too, even when I go in my car because I always tried to take little Hannah wherever I went, if I could.
I never did like going to the grocery store much, but now even that is so sad. I just can't bear to walk down the pet food isle!

How is your wife? I'm glad you have someone at home to share your feelings with. I know it is doubly lonely when she has to go to work. I also had another cat a VERY long time ago when I was married. My husband and I cried for a month every time we looked at each other after that cat (Fritz) died.

I'm glad you found this site. Keep posting here. Everyone here feels your pain, and we will do our best to help. This is a rough road we are all walking right now, but it really helps to see there are others out there who understand and care. My thoughts are with you.
Marcia

I too am so sorry for your loss. I have much empathy for you, as it was just a short month ago that I had to put my 16 yo cat to sleep. Knowing she is out of pain doesn't take away my lonliness and emptiness in the house. I live alone and now it's REALLY lonely.

Grieve...I tell everyone to just GRIEVE...it is so healing even as painful as it is. There are no words to "make us feel better" I have to feel the loss and the grief to get through. I imagine that's just the way it is for all of us. We understand, so use us!

Sounds like you gave your babies a lot of love and companionship as well. God only "loans" them to us for a time, so until we can meet them again....I will light the candle as I do each night for all our babies to find their way to the Bridge.

You too, have my utmost sympathy and compassion.

Cindy

Dear Flakey's Dad,
I'm feeling your pain. It is so difficult to say goodbye to a loved one. My husband and I said goodbye to our black lab, Jordan one week ago today. Actually, I can't believe it, but now that I look at the clock, it happened one week ago to this very minute. Wow. Anyway, I find it very helpful to read the posts here. I also find it helpful to write and talk about Jordan, and especially so, during the first few days that he was gone. Missing him gives me such an empty kind of pain. Something Cindy said in her post reminded me that crying equals healing, not hurting.
Take care.
Jordan's mom

Dear Flakey'sdad,

My heart is breaking reading your post. I wish I could bring your kitty back for you. I found many things in what you wrote that I relate to.
My two cats were/are "my kids". So the depth of my grief is put into perspective when I consider that Ginger filled a void generally occupied by "offspring". I had never thought of myself as a "cat woman" or any of those derogatory labels for those childless with cats---but here I am crying for days on end over my "baby". With the money I spent on him over the past few days we could have put an addition on the house!! a nice addition at that--! so on top of everything else I am feeling really quite dumb over the money. I have to say I wonder if the hospital he was in couldn't have advised me just a little better. But then again I might not have even listened to them-I might have insisted they carry on despite whatever they said. I had so much hope, just like you did. In a way I guess you and I were lucky. We did get to see our kitties before the end. I loved what you wrote about Flakey looking at the birds. What an awesome memory for you. The vision of your kitty looking at the birds is like a beautiful song. Like a familiar tune that you can hum when you want to be with Flakey, you can replay that memory...what a beautiful moment. For me I will always remember how Ginger hissed at everyone (like your other cat) but when I said "Ginger, it's mommy"--he looked square at me and seemed so happy right then. I will always carry that picture of him --I know he was happy right then...because I was there.
I am so sorry you have to be here on the pet loss board--but may I say I am glad you wrote your story..because all the "real" people I know don't have any concept about how much this hurts....but you do. you do. it's so incredibly sad and comforting at the same time.
deepest sympathy,
Patti

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that you loved Flakey and Butch deeply. Please know that we do know and understand what you're going through at this moment. We're all grievers here and we all try to help each other through the process.

Dear Flakey's Daddy:

I am truly very sorry to hear about your beloved lil' Flakey cat.......

It hurts, and it hurts like hell!!! You do have a beautiful memory in that your lil' Flakey was looking out the window at the birds; Now Flakey can run & jump & chase those birdies up over Rainbow's Bridge.......

I cried forever when our lil' girl Ernestine was put to sleep........I read EVERYONE'S posts on this site, with tears just streaming down my face....
I was crying for our girl, but also for everyone else's heartache.... Because, it's HUMAN!!!

Tho it has only been 3 & 1/2 months that Ernie has gone to the Bridge, I remember that in the very beginning, I was counting the minutes, then hourly, then daily, then weekly.........until I didn't feel the need to count anymore; I'm just surprised that she has been there for 3 & 1/2 months..
I find comfort in that Ernie has a lot of new friends over Rainbow's Bridge.... ....

AND, for sure, one day, when it is our time (Ben & myself) to pass over, I know that our girl will be waiting, along with all of our other furbabies who have been there even earlier.....

Lightning Strikes..........This is a great place to be (if you have to be at a Pet Grief site, at all).....
Everyone is soooooo kind, everyone understands just "how you feel", and we all invite you to take a look at our posts, from the very beginning to the most recent......

Gives you an idea on how sadness & grief progresses.......... It helped me immensely, because I had my girl from ages 23 to 43.............. She was my best girlfriend.........

There are A.H.'s (jerks) in the world who don't know what it's like to give love and be loved by a very special creature of God.......
THEY'RE THE ONE'S MISSING OUT............... THEY DON'T DESERVE THAT SPECIAL LOVE....

We will always be here for you & your wife, whenever you feel like talking, venting, etc....

Okay?????

God Bless!

Love, Denise

Flakeysdad,
I lost my 15 1/2 yr. old tortie, Vanna, last weekend. I'm so sorry that you and your wife lost both of your kitties in such a short time. Flakey sounds like such a sweetie-pie. It must have been awful to see her go though all those health problems. Well if you guys need anything, just let us know...

Thanks, thanks so much for your posts. It's comforting to know that we're all feeling the same way.

I do have so many good memories of her, and they have been getting me through this week. It's good to remember her cute little face, her funny habits & behaviors. At first, especially the first day or two, these nice thoughts would make me smile for a few seconds, but then that would make me imediately cry, knowing she was gone. I guess those were the healing tears. I'm much better this week, but there will always be a hole in my heart where she was. It's right next to the hole that Butch left.

I want to thank each one of you for your kind words. Reading your posts, I can see that I have a lot in common with all of you - I don't have time to point out each quote right this minute (it's gettin late!) -But real quick: Gingerspal, I was following Ginger's status along with everyone else, and I was so sad to hear that he hadn't made it. And Kitty Glitter, my Butch was a tortie too! I'm very sorry about Vanna. Again, I'm sorry for all of you and your loss.

Thanks again, each of you. I'll be thinking of you all.