Although it's still driving me crazy not having received what I would consider a 'fool-proof' sign from Nissa, I did get something else that I think is a sign from her a couple of weeks ago, partly because it just keeps repeating itself in my head so often when I'm missing her the most. I usually avoid music like the plague when grieving, as it just makes me hurt too much more, so that's why I think this was indicative. While driving on the highway one day, my H turned on the radio. Up 'til then, he'd kept it off for my sake. Some song I couldn't hear anyway for the tire noise, was on. Then a second song came on which caught my ear, because it wasn't being sung by the original artist, Cyndi Lauper, so it took me a few seconds to recognize the song. I'd forgotten some of the words, but the chorus was clear as a bell and was the first thing I really heard. Suddenly it struck me that Nissa had sent this for me to hear and since she'd worked thru her Daddy once before ( had to? ) to get a message to me, it was fitting also that he'd been the one to facilitate this one as well. It went through my head all afternoon and when we got home later I pulled out the words, to check them ALL out. I was immediately struck by the sense that this was just like a conversation between her and me. Noteworthy is that bedtime is the hardest part of every day for me, without her to cuddle with anymore, AND that I'd been severely worried that she somehow didn't 'make it' to the Other Side:

ME:
lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
caught up in circles confusion -
is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after -

NISSA
sometimes you picture me -
I'm walking too far ahead
ME;
you're calling to me, I can't hear
what you've said -
Then you say - go slow -
I fall behind -
the second hand unwinds

all below, NISSA:
if you're lost you can look - and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you - I will be waiting
time after time

after my picture fades and darkness has
turned to gray
watching through windows - you're
wondering
if I'm O.K.
secrets stolen from deep inside
the drum beats out of time -

if you're lost you can look - and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you - I will be waiting
time after time.......

( Cyndi Lauper and R. Hyman )

Really interesting, too, is that the chorus could be said by either of us, to each other and it would still fit....and equal to how me and Nissa thought and felt alike in so many ways.

My girl, my Love-Dove, my little darling-pot.....Mommy thanks you SOOOO much for sending me this....always taking care of me, just as I always tried to do for you. I love you endlessly.....always have, always will.

That is so sweet of her to send you a song that is gentle and reassuring, and I'm glad you recognized it as such. I will never hear that song the same way again

That's a really good song to send a message! I love the lyrics, it always makes me cry.
Precious sent me Love by John Lennon. He loved The Beatles too!
Lisa

I picked a song for me and Shadow too...

Far Away by Nickleback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

One my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving
you any more
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Am I nuts?

BOO,

No, of course you're not.....no such thing! This song speaks so eloquently of how so many of us feel, about our incredibly loving bonds with our furbabies, about how hard it was to make that decision to let them continue on back to spirit....it brought me to tears....

Precious' Mom,

Did you know that Paul McCartney's song, "Martha, My Dear" was supposedly written for his beloved dog?

Linsey,

Thank you. I'm so glad Nissa has touched your heart, too. That's my girl.....

BOO,
That is too weird....I posted just a short while ago how I heard that song and how I immediately thought about Sasha and how deeply it touched me. Here is the link to that post where I put the link to the actual song if anyone wants to hear it...reading the lyrics are great, but it just doesn't have the same impact as when you hear it !

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=3089

F's Mom,
This post came at a rather unusual time (coincidince?). Just yesterday, I was out at the barn 'winterizing'....getting out the horses blankets to launder so they will be ready when the cold weather arrives, etc., and I came across Sasha's blanket that she always wore when she went out to the barn with me during the winter months. This is the third winter I have pulled it out, the third breakdown I have had because of it, and the third time I put it back in the trunk because I still can't let it go. When I saw it, I pulled it out and buried my face in it as my tears just flooded it. It still has her hair in the lambswool liner. I said outloud 'I'd give anything to have you back my 'mo seet' (nickname...don't ask )'. It was at that very moment, 'her' song came on. The song that played when I got into the car from picking up her ashes, a complete basket case, and it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard...'I Believe' by Diamond Rio. From that moment on, it was Sasha's song, that I'd like to think she sent to me when I needed it most. It is an older song, not played much anymore, and I rarely hear it, but at that moment yesterday as I was curled up on the floor crying while I held on to her blanket....I heard it start playing from the radio. Coincidence? maybe. I would like to believe otherwise...
Here are the lyrics


Every now and then
soft as breath upon my skin
I feel you come back again
And it’s like you haven’t been
gone a moment from my side,
Like the tears were never cried,
Like the hands of time
were pulling you and me.

And with all my heart I’m sure
we’re closer than we ever were,
I don’t have to hear or see
I’ve got all the proof I need.
There are more than angels watching over me

I believe
Oh I believe

Now when you die and life goes on,
It doesn’t end here
When you’re gone
every soul has found a flight
It never ends if I’m right.

Our love can even reach across eternity.

I believe
Oh I believe

Forever you’re a part of me,
Forever in the heart of me,
I will hold you even longer if I can.
Oh the people, who don’t see the most,
See that I believe in ghosts.
If that makes me crazy then I am

Cuz I believe
Oh I believe

There are more than angels watching over me.

I believe
Oh I believe
Every now and then
soft as breath upon my skin,
I feel you come back again
And I believe

But for those like me who have to hear it to really feel it, here is the link to the actual song..

http://mp.aol.com/video.index.adp?pmmsid=1...587/main&mode=1

Sometimes watching the videos kinda ruins it, so I like to just sit back with my eyes closed and just 'feel' the words .

Do not worry whether Nissa made it to the other side. Animals being pure at heart, and having the perfect Guide, have no difficulty. It is only we sinful humans who might head in the wrong direction.

Also, that is clearly a sign. Nissa has reached out to you, so now try to be happy for her sake. Daisy reached out once after her death, and I shoud be happy with that, but I so want another visit. I am hoping for one on the anniversary of her death, but know it is unlikely.

Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy

Kim,

I actually have "I Believe" on a CD compilation we made up that I enti*tled 'Love's Remembrance'......a CD just for special dates and those times I feel I need a really honkin' big cryfest. Haven't dared even listen to it yet, though, as every time I've used it it's felt like my innards are gonna come right out of my throat!

Other treasures on this are "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban, "One Small Star" by John McDermot and "The Prayer" by Celine Dion w/ Adrea Bocelli, among others. Mine and Sabin's song is "Falling Into You", also by Celine Dion. ( sorry all, but I have no links to these ) The song Nissa sent me isn't even the one I used to sing to her so often....and which I won't even mention here yet, just in case she'll send it yet....cross my fingers and hope to die?, so I can go and sing it to her forevermore?

You haven't gotten rid of a Sasha-blanket.....and I haven't even dared move any of Nissa's things yet from where they've always been....as if, by doing so, I'll also remove any tiny chance that one day when I open that door.....this surreal nightmare will be over and there she'll be, waiting for me, as it should be.

Daisy's Mommy,

Oh no....one sign is NEVER enough, in MY books! I've had other things that I'd LIKE to believe are signs, and rather do, but since spirits SO often use radios to come through on, and ALL of my loved ones have, I trust this more than the others so far. I know after each sign Sabin sent, that it was a double-edged sword.....SOOO good, and providing so much comfort, but also making me miss his physical presence even more.....cuz when they love you, you just want to be able to hug the stuffin' outta them in return, right? Saaaaayyyy.....maybe THAT'S why Nissa hasn't sent bigger ones yet....maybe she KNOWS I'd fall apart too much for my own good right now..... Still, after the grief settles some, they become even MORE comforting in retrospect, and you're left with just the love that they were intended to bring you in the first place. So for me, I'm just totally greedy for them, and make no apologies for it, as it's one of the ways we are able to retain our relationships with them, and there's everything right about that!