i'm getting there. gradually. i even feel a bit guilty, because i'm starting to get on with things again and i'm not so utterly depressed as i was.

i made a photo album of pictures of the cats and put a nice picture of our cleo in a frame on the wall with our other cat heathcliff when they were curled up and nuzzling together like they used to do.

things at work had been really bad (i was already suffering from stress related illness when cleo suddenly died), so after cleo died and i was incapacitated by stress and depression, i made the decision to resign my job last week. i don't regret it. i think it's the reason why i've been able to start to move on. everything's been so fast, that i worry that i shouldn't be getting better yet.

i made a flower bed over her grave today, and that helped too.

husband and i have also decided to get a kitten. i know it's still very soon, but we thought actually that it was important for our family and for heathcliff's sake that we did it soon. she's too young yet, so we can't pick her up anyway until july. that's a good time frame i think. we went with a breeder this time, not the rescue centre. i'm not saying that we wouldn't in the future, but i just don't have the emotional energy right now to put into rehabilitating another abused cat. i have to be honest with myself about that. and a persian will be different enough from my lovely cleo, moggy, that i don't think i'll feel guilty like i would if i thought i was trying to 'replace' her. she was one of a kind.

i've not been here as often, but i think that's good, because it means that i've been keeping myself relatively busy, rather than spending whole days on the computer like i'm prone to do. thank you all so much for being supportive. i've been thinking of you all. thank you.

here's our new kitten, Minerva. we'll call her Minnie from day to day.

What a cute kitten! I'm glad that your getting another furry. As you said, it'll not only be good for you, but for Heathcliff too. And no, Minnie will never "replace" Cleo, but will be a whole new creation to love and care for.

beautiful kitten!! a great decision looks like--what a doll!!! happy for you