So I am at PetSmart this morning and I see a magazine about German Shepherds...I decide to buy it just for kicks. Once I get home and start reading through it, I come across an article about DM (Degenerative Myelopothy which is prominant in Ger. Shep.) which is what ultimately cost Sasha her mobility and then her life. At the time she died, it was said that nothing could be done except one of those doggy wheelchair carts, and we knew that wouldn't work for her. Not only would she have been miserable in it, but due to her age and her severe arthritis, the vet really didn't think she would have the body strength to pull it along. So anyway, I'm reading this article about DM and it is saying how there are some new drugs now that are showing some promising results in certain cases (whatever that means), and it also went on to say that it is being found that many cases are wrongly diagnosed (since there is no real 'test' for diagnosis, it is diagnosed symptomatically), and that a lot of cases have been found to actually be tumors in the vertebral column and they can be succesfully removed, so forth.
I don't understand why I am letting it eat me up since even if I would have had these options available to me then, she was still so old that I don't imagine any vet would be willing to risk surgery even if that would have helped her. But those options just weren't available then, and heck, even if she was a healthy dog and I hadn't put her to sleep when I did, the chances of her still being alive (she would be turning 18 years old on Oct 1) for these new treatments is nearly impossible anyways! There will always be medical strides, and I know this, but I just wish I would have had more options available to my girl while she was still here...I feel robbed somehow...does that make sense??? Sometimes I feel like my thought process is just so rediculous....

Kim, Your concerns are understandable, and in my opinion, normal. We all love our babies dearly and we tend to second guess our decision to help them cross over. I think that grieving, besides mourning a deep loss is also a process in which we try to reconcile our hearts with our heads, which in these cases are more than likely very conflicted. Long after the terrible pain has transformed itself into loving acceptance, it is I believe, still natural for us to think..."what if'..."

Be Well,

Mark

Dear Kim,

Just like with humans, there are medical advances all the time and even in the human medical profession, it is near impossible to keep up with them. Don't rob yourself of good memories and happiness. You did the best that you could at the time. We can only hope that it will help another furbaby in the future. Though we all wish we could turn back the hands of time, we can't and we need to come to terms with our guilt, myself, as well as anyone. You gave Sasha a wonderful life for 17 years, which is more that many dogs can even hope for. I wish you peace and acceptance.

Theresa

I really wish cats and dogs had longer life spans! Then they could be with us much longer. A friend of mine has an Amazon Grey parrot that will probably outlive him!
Lisa

Kim, I know what you mean. I think we all second guess ourselves. When we first found out Dugan had cancer, the pathologist recommended that a specific area be removed. The other vet in my vet's office told me this. When I spoke with my vet, after he returned from being out of town, he told me that he thought he had got it all when he did the surgery. He told me that the area that the pathologist was recommending meant he would lose his leg. Since he was approaching 17 years of age and was always really active we decided against removing the leg. We could not do chemo because of his kidneys. The tumors came back bigger and faster and now I wonder if I did the right thing. All I know is if I had the leg removed and the cancer still came back I would feel worse than I already do, if that is possible?

I just pray and talk to Dugan that I did the best I could, which never seems like enough. There are so many things that I have learned here in the past 4 weeks from everyone, that I just didn't know before.

I saw this and I really liked it:

"Beginnings are Scary...
Endings are usually Sad
But it is what's in the MIDDLE that counts the most.... "
-Hope Floats


Oh how I wish we were in the middle again!

Dugan's Mom
Krissyo