I just found this site, which is such a good thing since Whiskers p^^ed on to Heaven Monday. I had her for 16 years (she was about 6 months old when we found her as a stray) and she was my heart. She was my only companion as I moved to a new town and she has been with me since. If she was alive today she would be licking the tears that dont seem to stop streaming down my face. She went from about 9 pds to 7 in just a year or so. We went to multiple vets, and she was given medication and things seemed to get better for a while. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed she was becoming weaker and less balanced, but she ate well and was as loving as she had ever been. Monday, my father took her to the vet. He called me to come up there and I knew why. She had multiple tumors in her belly and she would not survive chemo. If we had taken her home, which in the last few moments of her life I begged for, she would have died a slow painful death. I held her as closely as I could and drowned her fur with my tears. I was the last one to hold her and that moment seems to be engraved in my mind. I have never felt such a loss as this one. She was my heart and my soul and now she is in a beautiful urn, but everytime I walk by it I just start crying. I have another cat, that I dearly love, that I adopted a year and a half ago to help make this pa^^ing easier, but nothing is easy now. I have a daughter, work, and go to school full-time, but I can barely seem to get out of bed in the morning, much less making it even half a day without bawling. Is there any advice you can give that could help make this process easier? Right now I just want to make it even a few hours without crying.

This was a picture of her taken in April.

Hello,
I am so sorry for your loss & the way you feel right now. When Furry died on 23rd July '06 I felt that my heart would break from the grief. I still cry every day for her, so I think you are doing well to be coping with daughter, work, & school. Couldn't you get a few days off to stay at home & rest, as such grief is very exhausting.
I think that only with the p^^ing of time, will the crying become less frequent.
As you said, she was your heart, so nothing can change that.
You can take comfort in the fact that you looked after her through her illness & gave her the best veterinary care, which let her live a full 16 years with you. Also, at the end, you were strong enough to make the right decision for her & not let her linger on in suffering & pain. And you were there with her at the end, so she knows how much you love her. I know that you must have been really strong to do that, because I didn't have that strength, so let Furry suffer too long. That will haunt me forever.
I found that it helped to make the memorial in the garden for Furry & to look at photo's & D.V.D's of her. But nothing can take away the pain of such a loss, so you just have to take as much time as you need to grieve.
Coming to this site & getting the support of others who understand the way we feel is the best source of comfort I have found, so please keep writing.
Judith

I am so sorry for your loss of Whiskers. She was very beautiful. I had to put my beloved 17 year old "little boy" to sleep on 8/19/06 from cancer as well so I understand your heartache. It will be two weeks this Saturday and I was laid off before Dugan got sick so I am lucky that I can be home for awhile. I cry everyday and still look for him, as you said he was my heart and there will be a place in my heart forever that is his alone. I believe with all of my heart that I will see him again but it sure is lonely down here.

Someone said that you grieve not only for the loss of your animal but the life you had with them as it is now so different. They love you unconditionally and the time when you REALLY need that unconditional love is when you are grieving over them and sometimes people don't know what to say. This place has been a life saver for me. It is a safe place to open your heart out as we are all hurting and missing our babies.

Take care of your other cat as he/she will probably grieve also. Be kind to yourself. Someone also told me to let the pain flow because if you try and stop it the pain will be worse. I know that this is easier said than done.

I realized when Dugan got sick that I had a million pictures of him but we did not have a video camera. We were looking into getting one when we lost him but I discovered a way to do a 30 second video on my digital camera. Only was able to get two 30 second videos and I have just about worn out the computer playing them.

You are in my prayers.

Dugan's Mom
Krissyo

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I can emphathize with you very much. I still cry frequently since Yoda p^^ed in August. Sometime at the most inoportune times, he just pops into my head. I pray that you find peace and acceptance as I am trying to do. Don't forget to give your other furry lots of love as he may not understand what is going on. Just that his firend is missing.

Theresa

My heart goes out to you!! I lost my Precious on 06 August. He had just turned 19. I did the very same thing and still cry at times but with time it is getting a little easier. I miss Precious very much and I felt I made the right decision. At the time I had no other choice as he was dying and it would have been a matter of hours.
Do not feel guilty! That's one of the things you will be going through. Lord knows I beat myself up over it, and in some ways still am. But know all of us have gone through recent losses and will be here for you in every way.
Praying for you and your baby!
Lisa