Thought I would seek out some opinions on this subject.
My Precious has been gone three weeks this morning. I visited a cat shop (where they sell pet supplies and are also a no-kill shelter of sorts, they take in strays and place them in good homes) and saw a six-week-old kitten that almost resembled Precious when he was a baby. Not seeming to get too interested after handling the kitten, I asked the owner if she had heard of any pet loss support groups in my area. She said there weren't any and asked if I had recently lost a pet. I explained that my cat had died almost three weeks earlier. She stated that it would be good to adopt a new kitten and to give it a good, loving home, that it would help ease the pain of the recent loss. I told her the pain was still too fresh and that I was still in the grieving phase and she understood but also pointed out that since I had adopted Precious as a stray kitten so many years ago, the best thing to do would be to carry on the tradition again.
There is much more to adopting an animal than just adopting it; it's a lifetime commitment. Plus, I haven't gotten over losing my right arm -- I feel like a mental amputee!! So many swirling, conflicting emotions. Since most of you adopted recently, what are your feelings and views on the subject? I am so torn between giving my heart to another cat but still honouring the one I recently lost.
Lisa

The only reason I am delaying adopting another dog is because I have a son who is too young to appreciate an animal companion. He loves animals, but being only 13 months old, he doesn't really know how to pet nicely. Daisy, who was with me long before him, knew how to avoid him, but it doesn't make sense to bring a new pet in now.

Otherwise I would not have waiting very long. That being said, I feel that this is a deeply personal decision. There is no right or wrong time. Some people cannot stand an empty house. Some people need more time to mourn without the presence of a new pet. Some people feel that they are betraying their pet by getting a new one - although I can't think of a better tribute to a beloved pet than to adopt a homeless animal.

In short, you can honor your beloved cat by waiting a "respectable time" or by adopting now in her name. Neither choice is inherently wrong. If you are ambivilent, it might be better to wait a little bit anyway and see how you feel - as you say, getting a new pet is a lifetime commitment.

No pet will replace Precious in your heart - but since our capacity to love has no limits, there will be plenty of room for a new pet, as well as for Precious.

I am sorry for your loss
Daisy's Mommy

I think you will know when it is time to get a new furkid. When that happens, it will bring much joy to both you and the adopted one.

All the best,
Ken Albin

I know the pain you are feeling, as I was there, and am still recovering. We lost Scooter 6 weeks ago. For some reason I found myself at the local animal shelter, not intending on adopting, as the pain was so new. I just went to give love to those that were homeless. I found myself visiting two kitties. One was Mooky, a 13 year old cat. He ended up getting sick, and they had to put him to sleep, and I cried over that too. The other one, was a little guy they named Marcel. I resisted because the pain of losing Scooter was so new, and yes I felt guilty, like I would be dishonouring his memory.
But, somthing just told me, to adopt Marcel. I had my doubts at first, as we have 3 other cats, and they too, were mourning the loss of Scooter.
We've had Marcel for 2 weeks now, and the introductions with the 3 other cats are going better than I expected. Marcel has brought laughter back into our hearts again. While we are still mourning Scooter, he knows we will always love him, and never forget him. We still have tears and just wish we could hold Scooter again, but, that will be for another place and time.
You will know when you are ready for another pet. At first, I think I went to the shelter looking for a cat that looked like Scooter. Marcel looks nothing like him, but after we adopted him, we discovered he has the same cute little beard at the bottom of his chin like Scooter did.
The way it felt for me was, I had so much love to give, it just felt right to bring another furbaby home to care for. I wondered why I was doing it, because like you said, you are opening yourself up to more pain and heartache, but you are also opening up your heart to let the love that you have, continue on.

Just take your time to make your decision. I'll be thinking of you, and I am so sorry for your recent loss. I pray that your pain eases and that you find comfort here.
Trish

Hi Lisa,
So sorry for your loss of Precious. I lost my 2 furbabies one day apart last Sept. My friend rescues and fosters kittens, so she decided to bring 2 new kitties to me(that I had met the day before after my 1st cat had died)the day that I was putting down my 2nd cat. Well my reaction was this is much too soon. But I kept them both. And I am not sorry. On the one hand it was hard to adjust to kittens after a 9 and 10 yr old. And in the beginning they were sick with eye infections. But you know what it kept me busy. And my daughter is away at college and I live alone. So instead of coming home to an empty apt. every day after work(Tink used to greet me at the door EVERY DAY, and they both slept with me every night) I came home to my two new little kitties. And it didn't take long to totally fall in love with them. And even though its been almost one year that I have them, I still miss my other furbabies. But I never felt that I was dishonoring my them by loving the newbies. They will AWAYS be in my heart. And recently I adopted the 2 siblings of one of my new babies. So now I have 4 and I am referred to as the Crazy Cat Lady!!!! So take your time and know that you will make the right decision for yourself. Take care, we are all thinking of you.
Deb

Hi Lisa,

I competely understand where you are coming from. I lost Pugsley 1 month ago today. Last week, we went to the Humane Society and looked around. Well, we found not one, but two kitties (a 10-week old kitten, and a 6-month old) to adopt. We picked them up the next day.

It is not the same. It never will be. We still miss Pugsley so much, and think about him every day. The hardest part to understand is that there will never be another kitty like Pugs. But, these 2 new kitties deserved a loving home, and that is what they got. Our other cat, Fester, is adjusting ok. He doesn't understand who the 2 new ones are, but he is slowly adjusting.

I did have a hard time at first, feeling guilty for loving other kitties. But, if Pugsley could, he would tell me to love another kitty the same way we loved him. I do feel little pains of guilt every time I kiss them, but they have helped me get over the grief a little bit. I know I will learn to love them both the same way I loved my baby Pugsley.

I will say that I have noticed little mannerisms in the younger cat that are similar to Pugsley. My mom thinks that Pugsley sent him to us. That helps too. Nobody can ever replace him. But Jake and Elwood are going to try their hardest.

Take care Lisa. I understand your pain. You will know when it is time to get another.

Leslie

lisa,
i'm sorry for your recent loss. bringing a new family member home is a very personal decision. don't let anyone pressure you into adopting or make you feel guilty if you don't...they probably have their own agenda. you are absolutely right in that adopting is a lifelong commitment and not to be taken lightly. listen to your heart and you will know when the time is right.
take care.

IMHO, i"m looking forward to having a new canine friend and buddy.

But I won't rush it and i'm not looking for "Jackson the 2nd".

My dog was one unique boy. I am not looking for his clone or another dog that is like him. I may find that I'll adopt a similar breed (Border Collie Mix), but i'm looking for a four-legged friend who is all unique and distinct a canine person.

IMHO, I think you should allow a little more time to heal. There are many pets in this world that will need a loving home when you are ready. If you are ready now, great!

But it sounds to me that you just need a little more time to get real with the situation and prepare for your next furbaby life partnership.

Thanks, everyone, for responding to this post!! It's helped me a lot, to the point where I can look at a cat (real and on film) and not cry or feel sad. I have an appointment to look at one this weekend. His name is Patches, he's two and looks very healthy. He looks like a mixed breed, there's definitely some Turkish Angora there but I will decide when I meet him. Don't know what Tigger and Snookaroo (my dad's two cats, the "rent-a-cats") will do if I adopt him. Wish me luck because I feel positive about this!
Lisa

Good luck Precious's Mom. I hope all goes well for you this weekend. Keep us posted.

Dugan's Mom
Krissyo

I met Patches this past Saturday. He is so sweet!! He looks a little like Precious but has intense green eyes and is black and while. He's very sociable and did somersaults over my handbag (which smells like three cats!). He even did a "Precious sprawl" in front of me and ooh that was scary but comforting. I did not adopt him just yet. The forster-mother gave me his x-rays so my vet can confirm that he is healthy.
Wish me luck, I have a great feeling about this! Today would have been the nine****th anniversary that Precious adopted me as his mum. I can feel his presence around me, especially this morning, so we're celebrating it together. I still believe the cat-human bond is so strong that even a cat's physical death can't stop it! I hope all of you can feel your baby's presence too because it is very comforting!!
Lisa

Dear Lisa,
I am so happy for you that you seem to have found a soul mate in Patches. It is a great comfort to take another furbaby home, but they can never replace the one we have lost & miss so.
I wish that I could feel Furry's presence as you do Precious's, but I haven't felt her near me at all.
Patches will have a lovely & loving home when he comes to you.
Judith

I hope he'll be adopted-- just wonder if my vet will find anything out of the ordinary!
Oh, nothing and nobody could replace Precious. He was one of a kind and was the sweetest baby anyone could want to have as theirs! I hope you can regain Furry's presence; it may come unexpectedly in the form of something else (dragonflies and butterflies are Precious' form of choice, it seems!) or you could just wake up one day and feel her presence. She doesn't want you to grieve a lot for her; she knows that you are sad and unhappy because she's no longer here physically. Give her time, she'll probably surprise you like Precious did to me, and it's very, very comforting. Hope you find out soon!!
Lisa

UPDATE!!!
Patches checked out fine and will be adopted in a few days (Friday)! Today marks the month anniversary of Precious' death so this good news makes today a little easier to handle. I miss Precious so much but think he would approve of Patches as a new "little brother". I really appreciate all of the support all of you have given; I couldn't have gotten through this difficult time without it.
Cheers to everyone!
Lisa

Dear Lisa,
I'm so happy for you & Patches. Will he be an indoor cat? My adoptee, Bella is becoming much more setlled & her character is showing after a couple of weeks with us. I still miss Furry so, but am glad I could give Bella a living home.
Judith

Judith,
Just like Precious, an indoor cat! The foster mother told me he has never been outside. I'm looking forward to leash-training him (I did that to Precious when he was three months old). I hope Bella is helping you through everything right now. Patches will, and I keep telling my family and friends that he is *not* a replacement for Precious, just his new "little brother".
This weekend will be fun -- I hope he adapts well!! (He's four years old so still a young man!!)
Lisa

Its been almost a month since I've lost my Panda bear and within a week someone gave me a shelter dog. I've been wondering too, is it really okay to get another pet? I feel that Panda might be wondering why we adopted another pet so soon that replaced her. Its also pretty upsetting to see tht my new puppy share common chracteristics as Panda.

I think your baby would not like to see your suffering because of the loss. Mine was a "number-one son", very jealous of any other attention given to any animal, but I think he would give his blessing on my adopting Patches. Precious meant the whole world to me for nine**** years, and now I would like to give another cat that chance.
Don't feel guilty -- you have a lot of love to give, and the new baby will gladly accept that! Knowing you saved a dog from a life in a cage should be of some comfort. I hope everything works out!
Lisa

Also -- think of "added to", not replaced. Nothing can replace what's gone!!
Lisa

Patches came home this afternoon and after some tenative encounters with the rent-a-cats (ooh those hissy fits!), he has proved he is a new member of the family! He's started to eat (I was worried but he's still adjusting to his new home) and because of a bad storm dived under my bed and is there for the time being. But he is such a love! I am smiling and laughing for the first time in many weeks.
I think Precious arranged me to find him. It was too good of a fit! So many similarities yet so many differences and that's so good. Patch is his own cat (I'm still saying Precious when I talk to him, oh dear!) and hopefully will have his own spot on the bed tonight (with Precious it was always the other pillow, so let's see what initiative Patch takes).
A new adventure begins!
Lisa