I still miss my little Pumpkin so much that I still can't look at her pictures. It has been 9 weeks and the grief is less intense the majority of the time, but other times something reminds me of her and the intense sadness comes back.
My biggest guilt was that I hadn't taken her to the vet the day she died - I had called the vet who said not to worry. I was consumed with guilt over the fact that I hadn't somehow known how sick she was.
An interesting thing happened recently that made me feel better. Both of my sons were ill and I took them to the same doctor within a few days of each other. On one visit, I was lectured for 'waiting so long' to bring him in. Not only did I not think he was that sick, my son didn't think he needed to go to the doctor. On the other visit, my son seemed extremely ill and weak. This time, the doctor implied that I was a 'major over-reacter' and that my son only needed rest.
Not only can I never tell if my sons are sick enough for the doctor ( and they can actually tell me how they feel), I never can decide even if I am sick enough for the doctor, and I always seem to make the wrong decision...
How can we then expect ourselves to somehow know how sick our beloved pets are??? We can only do the best we can, and should not beat ourselves up over decisions we have made.