First I want to say thank you to everyone who supported me on my last post...those who wrote and those who did not but understood.
This site has been so very helpful. Thank you to the moderator and to Oscar, Cleo, Sasha, Pepe, Scooter, Raggs, and JBMiller's pet. Your kind words have made the difference for sure. I can't believe Pepe lived for 23 years! What was the secret?
So when Ella and I parted company on this spiratual plane it was quite sudden and violent in my mind. Although I did my best to prepare her, I was unprepared for the lack of sedation and expected my vet to give us a few minutes. I equate the passing of my furr kid/soul mate to being jumped in an alley and having your throat slit. Anyway I know I have to get over the anger to move forward and it is leaving my consciousness slowly but surely, and I am waiting for 1 month before contacting my vet and explaining why I am finding a new one after 15 years.

But I digress. I told my dear friends and loved ones that I thought Ella had gone into hiding after passing. She was the kind of cat who hated being handled. Thats why we didn't do the sub Q or hormones. I always promised her I wouldn't torture her in the end. I just knew that was what she wanted. She was super gentle, but hated Tonic Lax, nail clippings, vet appointments, crates, car rides...even being picked up. So when she passed quite quickly in my arms it was as if she had said "what the hell?" and hid under bed in a other wordly way.
When I went to the cremation and held her frozen body and begged her forgiveness, reading her a letter I wrote and weeping...I felt as if she was there. It was weird. She was still there inside her little self waiting for me. When I left I asked her to come with me ( I know weird) and I wasn't sure she had.
But here's the deal. Her litter mate, brother PT has taken on some of her very specific mannerisms. We always slept with her on my right side and her paw on my arm. PT has started sleeping on my right side with his paw on my arm. He has never done that....really. I swear I heard her call out today. It was a very specific sound...nothing else could sound like that. I had almost forgot what her meow had sounded like...couln't recreate it in my imagination...but there it was. And then just now PT went to lie down in the garage in the bed where Ella spent her last month. I tried many times to get her inside but its where she wanted to be. Anyway he is out there right now sleeping. The first time he's gone near that bed in at least a month. He didn't spend much time with her when she was sick.
So my girl has come out of spiritual hiding and I am happy that she is okay now. I can feel it. I went and saw a grief counsellor over this because as I wrote in my last post I have a 2 year old that has her own loss issues and I can't be spending hours weeping in the garage like I would like to. The one thing that the counsellor said that really resonated was that I was there for Ella right up to the difficult end and that she knew that. If she knew nothing else...she knew that. I never left her side. And for that strength that I somehow summoned I am grateful.

On a completely seperate note...how have those of you that have had cats with kindey issues dealt with the incontinence? I had my carpets cleaned today and they showed me with one of those nasty black lights that Ella had been peeing for quite a long time in our room on the floor. I thought it had only started in the last 2 months but it looks as if it was going on for longer.
Because I quite expect PT do have the same issue hopefully not for somtime, what do you do? I had put down incontinence pads for Ella in the end but she wasn't using those ...she was just voiding where she lay. Do you crate them? Do you keep them in one room? Do you say what the hell and replace the carpets later? What do you do?
With love to all of you who are hurting tonight. May your angel return to you and give you a sign that they are all right too.
I've attached a photo that we took of our Ella watching out for our daughter after she had fallen asleep. We look at that photo today and tell ehr that's her Ella angel and that she's watching her while she sleeps and plays to make sure she is safe.
Peace to all of you and your pets.
xo

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS! ELLA WAS A BEAUTIFUL BABY!!! MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU.

Ella's Mom - what a lovely photo of Ella and your daughter. Yes, she is an angel watching over all of you. She understands and is sending messages that it is OK through PT. Believe. Please do not torment yourself with the images of the end. Ella is at peace now.

It is a good idea to talk to your vet and switch...there are many vets out there that will lead you through the difficult end with much more care and dignity for the pet. Some vets make house calls too. Just like we should switch medical Drs if we don't like the service, why not Vets.

My vet as I wrote before had a separate living room set up (the vet's office is in an old home. All women vets and assistants too). They explained the process carefully asking my preferences all along the way...Cleo was so well cared for even in the end.

Regarding incontinence....I ended up putting litter boxes on every floor of the house, especially where Cleo peed....I'd put the pads all around and then kept the boxes very clean. This helped alot, but the smell and sand was not that pleasant for me. But, it was worth it for Cleo. He really only could not make it to the litter box the last couple days...I too did not want to put Cleo through too many treatments that last year.

I did clean the carpets well and use differnt enzyme sprays, but I think it is still there, My little Kitty Ginger keeps sniffing, but hasn't done anything yet.

Ella's mommy. How wonderful that Ella is sending you signs! I keep asking Mitou to somehow let me know that her little cat spirit is out there and all is well but so far nothing from her.
About "inappropriate elimination" several litter boxes in different areas is good. Mitou had litter box issues and a couple of months before she died had a urinary infectionand was on antibiotics. The vet advised keeping her confined for a month--I had her in the bathroom-- until she was using the box regularly. That never happened sometimes she would, usually she went on the floor and I had newspaper spread around and would put fresh paper down and mop 3 or 4 times a day. We let her out when we were there to watch her and confined her at night. I think towards the end it was incontinence because her bedding had to be changed and washed every morning. I know they have doggie diapers, don't know if this would work for cats!
Judy (Mitou's mommy)