Hello:

My beloved kitty Chloe has been suffering from Feline Renal Failure for a couple of years, diagnosed in January 2005. She is at the end stages and I faced a decision at the vet today: put her to sleep now, as her kidney levels are sky high and she has lost her appetite, has lost so much weight, is not feeling good OR make one more effort to get her feeling better for a little longer (which involves hospitalizing her and trying a new medication regimen, as well as IV fluids). I chose the latter.

I am hoping I was not selfish in this choice, but I just did not feel she is completely gone yet. I know I have issues with letting go (who doesn't??? ) I know I will have to get used to life without her around soon, and I am dreading it. I will miss her so much. But, I take comfort in the fact that I would much rather have her go to sleep peacefully with me there by her side than keep her alive and miserable. I love her too much to do that. And I would not be able to forgive myself if I did not do everything in my power to prolong her life (as long as her quality of life remains good). My heart is breaking and I know there are others out there who know how I feel. Any kind words would be appreciated.

Chloe's mom

Hiya Chloes mum

I know how you are feeling and should tell you that any decision you decide upon is the right decisision for that time.

No one but you can decide if she needs to be put to sleep, listen to your heart not your head.

Give Chloe a cuddle from me.

Love Sue

We had to have our 6 year old cat Scooter put to sleep not quite 3 weeks ago from renal failure. We had done the iv fluids at home and a special diet, and for 18 months he was back to his old self, and weight. But, 3 months ago, he started losing weight again. So, I understand where you are at. You just do what you know is right in your heart for your pet. See how Chloe responds to the treatment. You will know what to do then. Until then, my thoughts are with you both.

Trish

I am sorry to hear Chloe's health is failing... do what you can, and enjoy each day you get. You will know when it is time. Really.

I lost my beloved Cleo last Friday. His kidney's were failing, but I got almost a whole year longer with him after he was diagnosed. He had lost half his body weight and was so skinny...He was really old too - 18 yrs. I too had to have him euthanized...it was hard, but time, and I gave him the gift of peace.

Please keep us posted on how Chloe and you are doing.

Thank you for your kind replies. I visited Chloe in the hospital last night and she had eaten and been drinking which are good signs (obviously). She was also sleeping soundly when I got there which made me feel good because that means she's not in any discomfort. I will visit her again today. I know the chances are slim she will pull through and I'm being realistic about that, but I feel like I made the right choice in hospitalizing her.

The house is very empty without her and when her time comes, whether it be a few days or weeks or months from now, it will be so hard to get used to it. I'm just trying to focus on her level of well-being and put my needs aside for now. I know I'll get through this, it just feels like hell being in the middle of it! I'll let you know how things go, and, again, thank you so much for your support. It means the world to me to have contact with caring people who truly understand this type of heartbreak.

Linda

Oh Linda, you are such a wonderful mom to your Chloe. With her quality of life at the top of your priority list, it's hard to make a wrong decision. Of course you want to give Chloe...and yourself...every chance for more time together. Thank God you have the resources to take advantage of this new treatment. Just try and remember that a decision made out of love is always the right one, whether it involves saying "yes" or "no". As many of us here will tell you, Chloe will let you know when it's time, and you will know without a doubt what she is saying you. Until then, you are giving your sweet girl every chance for some more quality time with a mom who loves her very much. You are both in my prayers tonight.

Juanita....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

Linda you have done it all. No matter what happens you can take solice in that. I have a dog named Oscar who I have decided to put to sleep. If there were the slightest chance I'd take it to extend his life so I understand you choosing the latter choice. He has an aggressive tumor that can't be takin care of. I don't want to let him go, but he's already had two surgeries, and they can't do anymore.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope this site gives you the comfort I've found. Nina

Dear Nina,
My sympathy to you for the heartbreaking decision you have made. I was at the same place on May 23rd, and it was the hardest thing I have ever done to help my dear soul dog leave this earth. I have missed and cried over losing him every day since I said good-bye. Knowing I made the dreaded decision out of pure love and compassion is acknowledged in my head, but there is a Spike-size hole in my heart that will never be filled. I pray for the strength you will need to help Oscar find the beautiful Rainbow Bridge that we want so much to believe welcomes our beloved furchildren.
Juanita.....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

Chloe and I both were comforted by your thoughts and prayers, all of you who replied to or read my posting. She was doing very well at the hospital over the weekend and my family and boyfriend thought for sure she would be coming home. On Monday August 7th at about 8:30 in the morning she took a turn for the worse. Despite all the efforts made by the vets and all the dedicated techs watching her around the clock, her little body and kidneys were failing. I was not aware of this until I got to the clinic at about 11:30 as my job requires me to be out on the road and the vet could not reach me. I never saw my baby in so much distress and discomfort, it breaks my heart I did not get there sooner to have her put to sleep quietly. Instead, I begged the techs to do something to ease her pain as the only vet on staff that day was out of the office for lunch. They paged her and I sat with my punkin, talking to her and petting her. She died right in front of me before the vet could even call back. I feel awful that she did not die as peacefully as she would of if euthanized. But I am so grateful I was there with her. The staff all beleived she was waiting for me to come before she let go. I miss my little girl terribly, but I know she is no longer suffering, and I know she is still with me and always will be. I am glad I did everything I could to give her the longest and best life possible. I know that all who read this understand my pain. It's so hard to let go of your best friend. But, I do thank you and this site for all of the comfort it has brought. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts,

Chloe and Chloe's mom

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Chloe...my thoughts are with you. Know and believe she did wait for you. Yes, she was in distress, but she was strong and hung on to see you and say goodbye. You also got more time with her while she was comfortable at the hospital. This was the best way for both of you...try to not ponder the "what ifs". You did your best for her.

I understand and feel your pain. Know that there are many of us here who care. Let us know how you are doing.

Chloe's Mom,

You are in my heart and in my prayers at this very sad time. There is nothing quite like the pain of losing a beloved furry "best friend". I'm so glad that you got to help Chloe make the transition. As RIT and Cleo's post advised, try to let the "what ifs" and "should I/shouldn't I haves" drag you down.

Out of hundreds of posts I've read in this and two other pet loss sites, I have seen only one in which the pet owner was completely satisfied that everything had gone as well as possible. Most of us, however, suffer doubts and second-guesses. We can all console ourselves with the knowledge that, when we love a creature as much as we love our furkids, our gut feelings are rock solid, and decisons we make "in the moment" are most often the right ones.

Come back to this wonderful site for as long as you need the understanding and support of those who acknowledge and respect your pain.

Juanita....Loving Mom of Angel Spike

Just want to say that you and Chloe are in my thoughts and prayers.
Steve