It is one month since i lost my golden retriever. I have sobbed, wept and continue to mourn my loss. The pain is so bad I crumple to my knees because I miss him so much. He was my only constant companion. Now I go nowhere, eat little. No beautiful boy to walk in the woods, no one to stroke, brush and cuddle with. How will I ever get over this? I sit beside his grave in my garden and yearn to see him again. can anyone help me through this? I am desperate.

Dear Camum,
All I can say is to know that you are not the only one to feel such terrible pain. My Furry has only been gone a week & 2 days but I'm still in as much pain as that first day, perhaps even worse because I still can't accept that I will never be able to stroke & love her again. Was he an old boy? I found it helped me to tell others here about Furry, so perhaps you could tell us all more about him.
I know how you feel, but I can't find any way to ease the pain either. Knowing they were much loved omly makes it seem more unfair that they were the ones who had to go.
Thinking of you.

Dear Camum - Everyone here who reads these postings knows what you are going through, and feels for you. I am so sorry about you losing your Golden. I think is was a great idea that you write to us and tell us all about him. It will hurt, but it might help you too. Unfortunately we cannot escape the pain we feel. The only thing we can do is cry and know we loved our pets with all our hearts. Your Golden was so lucky to have you. It sure sounds as if you were great buddies. It has been 16 days since we lost our 6 year old cat Scooter to Kidney disease. We knew that someday the day would come and we would have to let him go, but accepting that fact became so difficult as the time neared. I cried and cried, and didn't think I had any more tears left. But, my heart has different ideas. There are many stages of grief. I don't think I've been through all of them yet, not even close. Denial, grief, anger, depression, and acceptance? I'm not sure. They say you can move through them, and then go back and forth from one to the other. I know I've been through the denial and seem to be stuck between grief and anger. Anyway, please, come here and talk and just let your feeling flow here. I have found comfort here, I know you will too. There are many wise people who come here, and I know they will help you as they have helped me. My thoughts are with you. You are not alone.

Camum- I am very sorry for your loss. One month ago today, I lost my lab/pit mix, Mocha. It was so devastating as she was my baby. 12 days later, I was visiting my parents and we had to have their/our golden, Montana put to sleep. He had a brain tumor. Mocha's illness, or symptoms of, came on in April of this year, so I knew she was sick for a couple months before I lost her. Montana had a seizure on the 4th of July and looked and acted like he had a mild stroke. It wasn't until July 13 that he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and that same evening he had a severe seizure that left him paralyzed.

Your relationship with your boy sounds very similiar to the relationship my dad had with Montana. He loved having his coat brushed, cuddling with my dad in "their" chair and most of all, just following dad wherever he went. I understand how you are feeling and how overwelming the feelings of grief can be. This site has some very wonderful and caring people to share your thoughts and feelings with. We have all suffered the loss or are preparing for the loss of our "babies". Please visit this site as often as you want to as you will learn that it offers great support when you need it most.

I found this in a book I am reading about cats
" People imagine that losing a loved one acts kind of like giving up smoking, he said. The first day is really hard, but the next day is less hard & so forth, easier & easier the longer time goes on. But instead it's like giving up water. Every day you notice the loved one's absence more & more." That's how we feel.
Judith

Dear Camum,

It is very difficult to get through loosing a loved one. I am very sorry that you are experiencing such pain. But each day will get better, little by little. Remember the good times you had with your puppy and how special your bond was. I too have just lost my baby - just 4 days ago and it has been very hard. But reading and writing to this forum has helped me express my feelings. There are so many kind and generous pet owners with open arms and ears to help you through this tough time.

It helps to let it all out. Its okay to cry and show your love. That is the way we heal. Your puppy is in God's loving hands now. He will take great care of your baby, you don't have to worry about that. The lonesome times will pass, but if I could give some personal advice it would be to try and keep busy with projects, work or other things to help ease your pain. It will be hard, but it will help to cope with your loss.

I am sure that with time you will be able to think of your golden and not be sad, but happy for all the good times he/she brought you. As I said it has been only 4 days since my baby left me, and I too have cried every day. Yes, it is very hard to go about your normal daily schedule, but it is very important that you do. You must remember that your puppy always loved you and is lucky to have such a wonderful owner. I had my first dog for 16 years before I too had to put her to sleep due to tumors. But I remember thinking that she wasn't in pain any longer and that she could rest easier.

Perhaps in time you could get another pet to share your love and life with again. I know that any new pet could never replace your lost golden, but it may help you to live life again. I hope you are able to get through this as the days go on. For me, I have had such wonderful support from this forum. It has made a difference in my healing. I hope that you too will be able to share more about your baby, because it does help to get it all out, more than you could ever realize.

Take care and God Bless you and your baby.

Hello,

I just want to say how truly sorry I am for your loss. I know exactly how you feel and have been the same way for some time now. It is going to take all your strength to get to a place where you can feel happy about memories of him and I confess I am not there but hope that one day I will be. Please eat and try to look after yourself. I know you dont want to , I really truly do. But you must because you have to remember how much your baby loved life. That is your gift to him now he is gone to live and remember him the way things were. I try every day because I know that Max would not want to see me otherwise. Its a struggle. Its been 6 and a half months for me and Im still in a bad place but I go on for him and my family who he loved as much as me. I must look after his grave in my garden, Its the first time I have ever made any thing grow in my life and I know he helps me do it. Things like that will let you know he is still with you. I grieve for him as much today as 6 months ago and dont know if I will ever get a handle on this loss that is so profound it often brings me to my knees even now. But I always remember what he would have wanted and that is to try and give like he always did for me.

I send you prayers all the way from Ireland and please please let me know how you are doing. I wish you well and if you are able you might want to go to rainbow bridge and set up a site for your boy. It helps me to go there and talk to him .

Lisa Quirke