It's been about a month since we put Meg to sleep because of a brain tumor. Most days, I'm ok. I think about her numerous times, but mostly, I am not drowning in sorrow. Tonight, I went through my photo book of pics of her and the box I put together of her things. I am crying with pain that is still fresh. I feel bad because my newly adopted dog sits nexts to me and all I can think about is my Meg.
I was so connected to her, I can't imagine ever having such a bond again. I'm not saying I don't love my new dog Ike, but Meg and I had something deeper than dog/mom. I really felt like she was my baby. One and a half years wasn't nearly enough. I was robbed. Does the yearning ever go away?
Full Version: A Month Later And Still Crying
Meg's Mom,
I'm not sure the yearning ever does go away, and the way I see it, it's not unusual and it's normal for that yearning to be there for a long, long time. There are days when out of the blue, I'll just sit down and start crying, thinking about my Heidi and Magic and Groucho. All the questions, all the anger, all the sadness - it can be overwhelming, and in a way I welcome it, cause it means they're still here. I have 5 other cats, but the pain some days just lingers. One of my cats, Mitts (who has 6 toes on his front feet that look like barbecue mitts, and who just popped out of the ground one night like a leprachaun) will even come over and jump up and pat my face when I cry. I just thank God that I have that comfort, which my family sometimes can't give me.
Anyway, that bond may never be the same with your new dog, but the love and devotion that Meg taught you will benefit the new dog immeasurably, so Meg will always be there with both of you.
Take care - Barbara
I'm not sure the yearning ever does go away, and the way I see it, it's not unusual and it's normal for that yearning to be there for a long, long time. There are days when out of the blue, I'll just sit down and start crying, thinking about my Heidi and Magic and Groucho. All the questions, all the anger, all the sadness - it can be overwhelming, and in a way I welcome it, cause it means they're still here. I have 5 other cats, but the pain some days just lingers. One of my cats, Mitts (who has 6 toes on his front feet that look like barbecue mitts, and who just popped out of the ground one night like a leprachaun) will even come over and jump up and pat my face when I cry. I just thank God that I have that comfort, which my family sometimes can't give me.
Anyway, that bond may never be the same with your new dog, but the love and devotion that Meg taught you will benefit the new dog immeasurably, so Meg will always be there with both of you.
Take care - Barbara
Your new dog understands and will be patient with you. 
SOme days will be easier on you than others, and I'm so sorry for the bad ones.
I'm glad you found this site. Write any time!
Love,
Kathy
SOme days will be easier on you than others, and I'm so sorry for the bad ones.
I'm glad you found this site. Write any time!Love,
Kathy
Hi Megsmom,
First thing, thank you so much for helping me work through my guilt about Jezebel. Like you said, I'll never know now what happened to her, but I'm not still kicking myself over it. I guess we look for signs that we're forgiven and I felt that I got one, although it might just have been me needing the sign. After we buried her along a beautiful trail, we went to a Lyle Lovett concert also in the foothills at Red Rocks Amphitheatre a couple of weeks later. As my housemate and I were having a perfect night enjoying the show, a small bird feather, underfeather I guess it would be, came floating down right in front of her. She caught it and gave it to me and I think we both knew what it meant. She is still with us and, if I do need to be forgiven, that was there also.
Don't feel bad if you haven't been able to feel the same love for the new pup as you did for Meg. We've talked about getting a pair of lovebirds (same sex, so no breeding) and part of the reason, I think, is that I know they'll bond with each other more than with us. I can't imagine having another bird in the house that I'll feel as attached to as I was with Jez, so I'm probably trying to hedge my bet not to feel so guilty if that ends up being true.
You're a very kind person, so I'm sure the love you're giving Ike and the bond you're forming is making his life a very good one. I hope the crying goes away for you soon. I still feel the need with Jez when I look at her empty cage and try to accept that it was a good thing to have had a bond important enough to hurt that much.
First thing, thank you so much for helping me work through my guilt about Jezebel. Like you said, I'll never know now what happened to her, but I'm not still kicking myself over it. I guess we look for signs that we're forgiven and I felt that I got one, although it might just have been me needing the sign. After we buried her along a beautiful trail, we went to a Lyle Lovett concert also in the foothills at Red Rocks Amphitheatre a couple of weeks later. As my housemate and I were having a perfect night enjoying the show, a small bird feather, underfeather I guess it would be, came floating down right in front of her. She caught it and gave it to me and I think we both knew what it meant. She is still with us and, if I do need to be forgiven, that was there also.
Don't feel bad if you haven't been able to feel the same love for the new pup as you did for Meg. We've talked about getting a pair of lovebirds (same sex, so no breeding) and part of the reason, I think, is that I know they'll bond with each other more than with us. I can't imagine having another bird in the house that I'll feel as attached to as I was with Jez, so I'm probably trying to hedge my bet not to feel so guilty if that ends up being true.
You're a very kind person, so I'm sure the love you're giving Ike and the bond you're forming is making his life a very good one. I hope the crying goes away for you soon. I still feel the need with Jez when I look at her empty cage and try to accept that it was a good thing to have had a bond important enough to hurt that much.
Hi Meg's Mom,
It was two months on July 23 since I had to help my sweet Spikey cross, and I still cry just about every day. Spike was my best friend, my baby, my soulmate for 14 years, and even that seems too short a time.
I kind of like what MackProv said about having a bond so strong that it hurts this much. I know I'll never get over losing Spike. I still have six cats, and I love them dearly. I have always owned multiple cats and have lost a number of them over the years. It always hurt, and I mourned each of them, but the connection I had with Spike was like nothing I'd ever experienced and doubt I will ever experience again.
I remember reading in another forum about trying to incorporate your new pet into your grieving process....the way you might tell a small child about a beloved relative they never knew. I think Ike will listen, and I know he won't mind if you cry. And....who knows....the two of you just might form a wonderful bond of your own.
Juanita
It was two months on July 23 since I had to help my sweet Spikey cross, and I still cry just about every day. Spike was my best friend, my baby, my soulmate for 14 years, and even that seems too short a time.
I kind of like what MackProv said about having a bond so strong that it hurts this much. I know I'll never get over losing Spike. I still have six cats, and I love them dearly. I have always owned multiple cats and have lost a number of them over the years. It always hurt, and I mourned each of them, but the connection I had with Spike was like nothing I'd ever experienced and doubt I will ever experience again.
I remember reading in another forum about trying to incorporate your new pet into your grieving process....the way you might tell a small child about a beloved relative they never knew. I think Ike will listen, and I know he won't mind if you cry. And....who knows....the two of you just might form a wonderful bond of your own.
Juanita
Thank you everyone who posted. I am having good and bad days. It is very true that I will never have the bond with any dog that I had with Meg. She had a terrible life before she came to live with me and was sick for a third of the time she was with me. She needed me and I grew to need her. On top of the brain tumor, she had disk disease in her neck and back. I spent a lot of time each day giving her massages just to keep her comfortable. When I see Ike move freely and normally (he's a Boston as well) I fully understand how her problems affected her. I guess spending that much time as a caregiver - moreso than the average pet needs - makes for a very close bond. She was my baby and I was was her mommy and nurse. It was fate that her last year and a half on earth was spent with me. Many people would never have had the resources or understanding to care for her (I'm in the vet industry). I just hold those thoughts tight when I miss her and rummage through her box of belongings. Although I truly believe fate took its course, I still feel robbed. How is that possible?
I hope everyone is coping well with there own losses and anticipated losses. Just imagine our lost babies frolicking together with endless treats, couches and streams. We'll see them again someday, and they want our hearts to be filled with joy and to give our love to other deserving creatures.
I hope everyone is coping well with there own losses and anticipated losses. Just imagine our lost babies frolicking together with endless treats, couches and streams. We'll see them again someday, and they want our hearts to be filled with joy and to give our love to other deserving creatures.
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