Pumpkin, I miss you so very much. Yesterday was your 2wk bridge day. I just couldnt write to you, I just couldnt see through my tears. Than out of the blue, Missy came and sat with me. I know she misses you. We had a talk and I let Spirit out to play with her. She actually played. I know she misses you. She is showing her age since you have been gone. Her coat looks so good now though, since she isnt grooming you, she started grooming herself. I miss you more than words can express. I just havent had the strength to set up your memorial, though I did do your website. That took so much strength which I feel I just dont have. Aunt Allison is coming over today to say goodbye. She is moving half way across the country. I feel so lonely without you. You were always my strength and comfort and now I have no one. I keep reliving those last few days. Thinking all these "what ifs...." they are driving me mad. I know you are at the bridge playing, happy and healthy. Though that thought brings comfort to my head, my heart still aches for you.

I wish I could see you, feel you one last time.
I wish I could hold you smell you one last time.
I wish I could touch you kiss you one last time.
I wish I could play with you one last time.
I feel so angry so hurt and scared.
I feel so lonely and crazy.
I would trade anything to be with you if
even just for one moment
to tell you all the things I think you didnt know
But you do know, I know you know
You saved my life, you saved my soul.
I love you and miss you so very much.

Love your Mommie

ravenkiddy, thank you for sharing. your poem made me cry. it is beautiful and touches everything i am feeling. thank you.

Ravenkiddy,
Your Pumpkin knows how you feel, and her spirit presence in your life will always be there with you. I'm glad you still have Missy - it sounds as though she understands your pain and empathizes with you. In that sense, you are very blessed. You have that bond in common, and I know we can't understand the thought processes of our pets (which I think are quite a bit more sophisticated than we know) but Pumpkin, where she is, must be very comforted to know you aren't completely alone. Sorrow and guilt will follow you - it's hard not to feel those things whenever you lose a beloved soul - but one day you'll have an eternity to tell her these things, to stroke her, to smell and play with her. I know it's small comfort now, but in time these things will make more sense and be more understandable. You'll be a different person from now on, having suffered this loss, but you'll never be alone. Please come back and let us help you through this heartbreaking time. Take care - Barbara

Ravenkiddy - Your poem was beautiful. You and I are at about the same place. I lost my Scooter on 7/15/06. The pain is so unbelievable, and I too, am wondering all the what if's. I have pictures of him in beautiful frames on the TV, and have cremains back. I thought that would help, having any part of him back home, but, only a little. I hope that my Scooter will come to me in a dream, but, no. He lives in my heart. You are not alone here. Please take care, I am so sorry for your loss.

Trish

Thank you all so much. I miss him so much, I am glad to have Missy here. She has never been a loving cat I saved her 7 yrs ago because she was going to be put down. She had been severly abused and was scared of everyone and everything. When I looked into her eyes I knew I had to save her. My family and friends hate her because she isnt nice but I Love her despite her anger issues (I would be angry if for 7yrs I had been abused, had my tail broken in numerous places as well as my lower back). She lets me pet her (I am the only one) She looks after my daughter. She yells at my husband for me (like when he leaves the basement door open...she stands at the top of the steps and lets out these cries until he comes back up and closes it, our daughter is 18 mons and I always yell at him about the door in fear she will fall down it)Its so funny to hear her do that. I never really paid all that much attention when Pumpkin was here.She isnt a lap cat but she stays near me now more than she ever did before. The Kitten that Pumpkin sent us, Spirit has given a new life to Missy, they are playing now and though Missy(14years old) doesnt have the energy like Spirit(8wks old) she runs faster than I have seen in years. I think she is enjoying her new friend. They are actually making me laugh once in a while. I never thought I could.


I am having problems with my account....I changed the skins in the options menu and now when I am logged in I cant see any posts....it wont let me change it back....I contacted the site but havent gotten a reply. Does anyone know how to fix this?????

Your poem was exactly how I feel. My heart is broken over the loss of my Kandy. I am right there with you, even though I lost Kandy on Mother's Day of this year which seems so long ago and yet seems like just yesterday. I feel for you and everyone else here who is hurting so much over our unbearable losses and still has to go on in this crazy human world. Thank you for expressing it.