First, I just had to get up out of bed again. I just want to lie down and cry and I just seem to keep thinking of Hannah's last day, instead of just thinking about Miss Hannah and me and our 16 years together. I am trying the Serenity Prayer, I have talked to so many people, I have tried to give this pain and endless worry about things I cannot change to God, but I can't seem to let it go. I feel sick, my blood pressure is up pretty high, and I sometimes and particulary now I just don't think I can get anything right. I know in my heart there are better days ahead for us all, but right now, I am really really down low again.
Secondly, this is incredible! I just tonight realized that I had made my initial posts about Hannah to ANOTHER SITE! I was online and looking at my favorites and went to one I had marked: http://www.petlovers.com and sure enough there were my two posts, one questioning having her put to sleep and one I posted right after. Somehow later, when I got back online again I went to Lightening Strike and made the rest of my posts there! I knew I have been in a fog and struggling with so much pain, but this is unbelievable, except that the people there sound just like us on LS. Only just a little while ago did I re-enter the Petlover site. This is so weird, I think. It must have happened for a reason. I hope all of you will visit that site and check it out and please read my first two posts about Miss Hannah. I know in my first posts to y'all I thanked you for sharing your thoughts, etc., but I actually had made no previous posts on LS.
I am going to explain this to my friends on petlovers site too and ask them to visit LS site.
So strange.
Marcia