Our cat who was an "all american tabby" had a habit of getting into the washer or dryer sometimes as I was loading or unloading laundry. We had a top loading washing until about a year ago when we bought a front loading washer. Yesterday
I put laundry in the washer and turned it on and some time later I heard thuds
coming from the washer. I opened the washer and to my horror and shock their
was our precious "Baby King" cat dead! I cried and took him out to the backyard and kneeled and prayed please God no ....don't let him die. He was already dead.


We had BabyKing since he was 8 weeks old and he was a very loving and gentle cat. I feel so guilty for what happened and it hurts my family so very much to
know he is gone. The front loading washing machine opening is closer to the floor than the top loading machine was. I always saw him in the top loading machine because I had to look down.

Please forgive me our precious cat......I am so very sorry.

MamaPerson

We are all human, that means we all make mistakes otherwise we would be god ), yes, she should have looked in the washer seeing as how he loved to go in there, how ever she didn't, what has happened has happened, your kitty knew how much you loved him and he knows that you would never hurt him on purpose! We all make mistakes in one way or another. Some times things just happen for a reason no matter how much we love our babies and try to keep them safe. We are all called home at our certain times I believe. He is happy now with god and one day you will see your lil love again and he will forgive you, you just need to forgive yourself!




Post like these ones are sad indeed, as the one who dropped her lil puppy on the ground, I can forgive accidents like this, how ever I don't forgive people who put down their pets because they don't have the money to care for them, there are so many places on the net to help with bills if you truly are low income. I have seen to many people post about ohh I am sooo sad I put my dog down because of this or that, but really the dog wasn't suffering, the owner just didn't want the bother anymore or the expence.

I am so sorry for your loss (

accidents are accidents. you can drive down the same highway for 30 years and make one wrong move and total your car. this situation is not much different. in today's world, people rush about with lots on their mind and accidents happen.

i have a huge phobia about washers/dryers with pets. now that i have a new kitten who gets into EVERYTHING, the phobia is even stronger (just ask my wife when i yell at her for not paying attention while loading the dryer). i agree with rebecca, make your way through the grieving process and then find a way to forgive yourself for the mishap.

The love we had for Baby King was ovelwhelming and he was extremely special to both my husband and I. He was a gist from me to my husband after our first
"All American Tabby" who was 13 years old was hit and killed by a car. He was also my husbands favorite cat. I searched shelter for two days looking for a cat
that would look like and also hopefully be like our first "All American Tabby" and
Baby King was very much like the first one.

I love animals and do everything I can to protect them. I had two cats that lived to old age and at 18 years old they each died in my arms. I feel awful about what happened and awake in the middle of the night and cry when I see Baby Kings bed
which is outside the bathroom and I am having a hard time forgiving myself.

When we had the top loading washer he would sometimes get in there and I believe I also saw him because I had to look down when putting in or taking out the clothes. The opening of the front loading washer is lower to the floor and you
do not have the visibility of the top loading. I would never do anything to hurt my cats. I also have three other house cats and three cats who live in my yard who I feed and take care of. God knows how much I love animals.

Baby King was the number one cat with the most personality and the most loving and was my husbands favorite. He was so very special!

We all have to find a place in our hearts for forgiveness. Sometimes we are the least forgiving to ourselves. It is also hard to me to hear these stories about pet's deaths especially ones where there are accidents, but we are here for each other and that means listening and responding with empathy and without judgment. I know you loved your cat and he loved you and this has to be an extremely traumatic loss. I'm still grieving over my cat and there is a day, sometimes hour that goes by that I don't think of him and what I could have done differently. He had cancer. I think about the time I took him to the vet and his cat carrier fell off the chair. Did I hurt him. I think about the medicines I gave him that made him gag and throw up. I think about the endless back and forth trips in the car to the specialist office for chemo that didn't work. Should I have just ended his suffering earlier. How many times can I beat myself up. The answer is FOREVER, but I have to at some point choose to know that it was his time and he had a great life with people who loved him very much and he knew he was loved, as did Babyking. Oh boy, her come the tears again. I thought those had dried up but evidentally not. Take care of yourself and keep posting. It helps you move through the grieving process.

Chestnut's mommy (Catherine)

Dear (((((((MamaPerson)))))))

I'm so very sorry to hear about your precious furcat BabyKing . I'm sending many hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Accidents DO & WILL HAPPEN, TO EVERYONE. BabyKing knows that you loved him so much and would not do anything to intentionally hurt him. Of that, I am very sure!! BabyKing will ALWAYS be with you & your family. Right inside your heart .

Below is a quote from Chestnut's Mommy - Catherine:



Catherine is absolutely right. I and many others are here to support & comfort one another in our very, very painful grief.

Please know that you have many friends here at Lightning-Strike.

I will say a prayer to my precious girl Ernestine to meet up with BabyKing, so that she can show him "the ropes" up at Rainbow's Bridge .

God Bless You & Yours at this very difficult time!

Love, Denise

How do I forgive myself for this. I feel so guilty. It hurts so very much.

I am sorry about the loss of your loved Babyking. Accidents DO happen and they WILL happen. I know you did not mean to do that and what matters is that Babyking knows that ( and I am sure he does). Your guilt will only heal when you let yourself grieve. You have to forgive yourself. You had him and took care of him since he was 8 wks, one mistake and will not change all you had done for him.

Dear (((((((MamaPerson)))))))



You WILL forgive yourself, in time.... Grieving is such a hard thing, and we (as our furbabies parent's), find it hardest to forgive ourselves. BabyKing has already forgiven you, AND, WILL ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVE YOU....
You need to remember that, first and foremost.

And, God has forgiven you, too. What happened was a very, very unfortunate accident. No amount of punishing yourself is going to help. And, I KNOW that your beloved BabyKing does not want you to punish yourself!



I agree with everything that ravenkiddy said.
Grieving is a journey. I urge you to please stay here at Lightning-Strike -- post as often as you need to. Sometimes just writing your feelings out helps -- I know that it did for me.

I know that if you could turn back time, you would. But, that's something that we cannot do.
I believe that it was BabyKing's time to go be with God. You are not at fault, and your baby doesn't blame you. Animals are loving, beautiful souls -- they only know love. And, BabyKing is really just fine at Rainbow's Bridge. I said a prayer to my girl Ernestine, that she meet up with your boy & show him around.

We'll be here to see you through this journey. You are never alone in your grief.

God Bless You & Yours,

Love, Denise

I LOVE THE PICTURE OF BABYKING AND HIS ANGEL----ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!

Oh Mamaking, I am SOOOOO sorry for your loss. Absolutely heartbreaking, and how much horror you must have felt. I just ache for what your heart must be going through. I remember wishing intensely I could just rewind the day, and taken different actions that would have left him purring and content that evening, business as usual. "If I just figure out what to do, I can take it back, make it not happen." That flicker of hope that it wasn't true lingers slightly still, even though it's been nearly 5 weeks, and I've pretty well accepted that it's not going to change and I just have to live with him being gone.

I apologize on behalf of some of the judgmental tone I read in some replies. It is what it is, it happened the way it happened, any parent is going to feel guilt over this kind of death, and the only issue is supporting you as you get through this. The sad thing is, despite our best intentions, deaths like these do happen. It's a sucky thing, but it's just part of life that momentary decisions sometime carry huge unintended consequences, and then we beat ourselves silly with ideas of how it could so easily have gone another way if we'd just...

If you poke around this site, you'll see A LOT of postings dealing with guilt -- you'll find how universal it is.

Are you a gardener? If so, go deadhead some petunias. The fresh buds and the spent blooms sometimes look alike, and try as you might to only pluck the spent blooms, inevitably you find you've accidentally picked a new bloom, ready to unfurl. Young healthy ones sometimes die completely unnecessary deaths. It simply happens, despite our every best intentions.
My condolences,
Kimberly

I am so, so very sorry for your loss. I think most of us have things we've done in our lives that we will regret forever, but as the above several posters said, accidents do happen, and who knows if it's some lesson from a higher being that this happened. My humble opinion is that when terrible things happen, there has to be some unknown reason, and we may never know why, but perhaps it will be made clear to us one day when we are reunited with our beloved pets.

I can tell from your first post that you love your pets, and even feed the ones coming around outside, who may have no other means of someone caring for them. You said "God knows how much I love my cats" - yes, He does, and although you and your family are dealing with such a heartbreaking loss, forgiveness IS there, and your BabyKing knows that, and where he is now, he has forgiven you, I'm sure.

I've found, through sharing on this site, that most pet owners feel a sense of guilt when they lose a beloved one, and it may be the most difficult emotion to overcome. You did not do this intentionally - I think you need to focus on that fact, and you gave your furbaby a loving home for a long time that he might never have experienced otherwise. As so many others said, accidents DO happen - we turn our backs for a moment, we forget to do or look somewhere, we think we have time to do something for our pets that we don't do, they get loose and run right into the street - all these things and so many more happen. It's natural and unfortunate that one of our first and lasting emotions with any loss is an unrelenting feeling of guilt. But, by posting your experience, Babyking may have saved several lives - who knows? In the end, it was his time, he's been welcomed, I'm sure, into a better and more peaceful world than we have here. He lives on in your heart and soul, and he will be there with you one day, when it's your time - I hope a long, long time from now, cause you have other kitties who depend on you and love you, and they need you, also.

Again, I send my thoughts and prayers your way. Please try to forgive yourself - blaming yourself is natural but it can turn into a vicious cycle, and you are needed here, in this world, with your other furbabies and your family. Please come back and let us know how you're doing - you have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Take care - Barbara

Forgive me Babyking.................

What a tragic accident. I am sorry that anyone on this site would chastise you for this accident. We all do something that makes us want to turn back time at some point in our lives. It's not your fault that cats like to crawl into tight, dark spaces.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but accidents have no fault, otherwise they wouldn't be accidents.
Be brave - Baby King had many great years with you .... most cats aren't so lucky.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your cat. Accidents happen and we can't blame ourselves forever. It's very easy to point a finger but it doesn't bring our babies back. When my Kurby was hit by a car and killed, I blamed my husband and was very mean to him. I yelled at him. I said horrible things to him. I almost put him out of the house. In fact, I told him to leave. I kept praying to God to help me through it because I know deep in my heart he loved Kurby and wouldn't have him hurt for anything in the world. I still struggle daily but I am doing a little better.
Hindsight is 50/50. Baby King knows that you loved him very much and wouldn't have harmed him for anything. You can't keep blaming yourself.

Your friend in grief,

Kurbysma

You and BabyKing have consumed my thoughts for most of the day....what a horrific way to lose a beloved furbaby. I would like to say that I am very sorry that you have to deal with such unimaginable guilt associated with your kitty's death . I couldn't imagine being in your shoes. My farrier (the guy who takes care of my horses feet) was leaving for work one day and his 4 year old (human) son had come out with the other kids to say goodbye. The others went back inside, and he thought the 4 year old went with them. He put the truck (a large 4 door dually) into reverse and backed out....running over his 4 year old son and killing him . My stomach turns for him just typing it. Proof positive that sometimes, no matter how much we love something, we can get caught up in lifes rush and miss one 'double check' that can change our lives forever. Even when we love something or someone beyond words, we can make mistakes. I know that no matter what we all say here, you will continue to beat yourself up and feel guilty for a long time, that is normal, but my hope for you is that you can someday just feel good about the wonderful life you gave to him for the past 12 years. With thousands of animals dying in shelters everyday, your kitties (past and present) are very lucky to have had your love at all.
I know that Wanda certainly didn't help matters with her unnecessary reply (sometimes, when there is nothing to be gained from our words, when what is done is done, we just have to learn to bite our tongues when we can't say something nice...), but please know that we all know you have run over those thoughts a thousand times and that if you could do it over, you would have done things differently, but that isn't how life works. There are no 'do overs'. We would all do things differently in one way or another if we had that luxury. BabyKing isn't mad at you. He knows it was an accident and he can see your sorrow and guilt over it. I hope you truly know that he is happier now than he has ever been, and you will be with him again someday...
Your friend in grief,
Kim

Babyking's Mom,
Kim R. has put very well what so many of us feel. She has been on this board many times and has shared a lot of wisdom and comfort for all of us - please know that she has put into words what so many of us feel for you and your family, human and animal. I've also spent a lot of time thinking about what happened to your furbaby - I still believe that you and he have touched many of us with your heartbreaking experience, but I think it's been enlightening for us to have the opportunity to look at ourselves and to know to take that extra minute to check, or look, or be sure, when we do so many things that involve our pets. Your heartbreak is palpable, and I pray that with time you will find comfort and forgiveness for yourself. As so many of us know, someway or somehow, Babyking has forgiven you - now you will have to start the hard journey to find forgiveness for yourself. We are all here for you, we understand, and we care. Bless you, and take care - Barbara

Many people have been critical of Wanda's response, but I think that there is some validity to it. When we take on the care of another living soul, be it a pet or a child, we take on the responsibility of exercising extreme care - the same level of care, if not more, than we would use for ourselves. Failure to do this, when it results in a death, is reckless, and in the case of a child, might even result in criminal charges. That being said, accidents do happen and we are all human - as Jesus said "Forgive them for they know not what they do."

Feeling guilt is appropriate when ones carelessness results in pain to another. Failure to feel guilt shows something worse than carelessness, it shows a bad heart. So, rather than trying to alleviate the guilty feeling, I think one should accept it and then try to make amends by being a better, more careful person. Doing something to help other can also be a way to make amends - volunteer at a shelter, adopt a needy stray, etc.

You cannot bring back the life that your carelessness cost, but you can help others and that seems like a good way to help the healing process begin.

Daisy's Mommy

I have saved animals all my life. I have found dogs and tracked down thier owners and once I found a cat under my house when we bought this house 15 years ago and tracked his owner. They had lived across the street and had moved and the owner came back several times over a two year period but could not find this cat. He had a collar and tag and I used the internet and tracked down the father of the owner. The owner came to my home to get her long lost cat and she was thrilled. And there there are the neighbor cats who I feed and two of them got sick and came to my home for help. Their owners would not take them to the vet even though I told then how sick they were and needed help. I took them to the vet and they stayed in my backyard until they died of old age. They never wanted to go back to their owners. One had been kicked around and abused and the other was just old and hungry. And then there are all of the stray cats which I have fed and given refuge in my backyard. I have several stories of saving, loving and giving refuge to animals which goes back to when I was just a child.

I made a terrible mistake but everyone who knows me knows I WOULD NEVER hurt an animal. I have 5 other cats here at my home. One is "Dolly Queen", a
calico mix who I adopted at a shelter to be Baby Kings mate. Baby King was neutered as all my cats are but he loved "Dolly Queen". One of the 5 cats is a little runt who's feral mother use to have kittens in my back yard every Spring. I raised and hand fed some of those kittens and every single one of them were taken in by a local Pet Shop and got homes. I also save an Akita (dog) who we found while on a bike ride on a busy street and brought him home and located his owner who lived over 500 miles away. The owner was on vaction in this area when the dog was lost. He and his wife drove over 500 miles to my home to get their dog and were thrilled. The other three are house cats who go out in the backyard but never the front yard because I had a 13 year old cat hit by a car on this street 12 years ago.

I made a mistake but God knows I have saved and loved so very many animals.
Baby King was very special and I am a very good person. I have to live with it and I feel for him because I have a heart full of love for every Furbaby in this world. Baby King was a gift from me to my husband after our first "All American Taby" named was Baby Cat was hit and killed by a car right after moving into this house. My husband was heartbroken over losing his cat and Baby King helped feel the void because he looked like and acted so much like the first"All American Tabby". We have been married for 25 years and all of those years he had his "All American Tabby" cats.

And then there are our two cats which we adopted at Golden Gate Park in San Francisco right after we were married. They both lived to be 18 years old and died in my arms. One had liver desease and the other had stipular which made
her go blind and deaf. The stories can go on and on..........Baby King was VERY
LOVED by us and will always be in our hearts. It was a horrible Accident and I will never forget.

I will go on saving and loving animals because that is my nature and I will never forget Baby King.

BabyKing's mommy,
You need not defend yourself here...the 'judgemental' replies you receive should simply be ignored. I am ashamed that there are people here that feel they need to cause you further pain...as though you didn't already learn a HUGE lesson from what happenned, they still feel it necessary to 'school you'. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and the sad part is that we generally don't realize we are making a mistake until it is too late. In other words, if we had the forethought that what we were doing was going to have tragic results, we wouldn't do it! That is why I find it hard to hear people being so heartless toward you when, regardless of what they may believe, it could have happenned to even them! Furthermore, (as a vet tech) I know from previous postings of those who judge you that there were things missed and things that could have been done, that should have been done, in their own situations as well that could have changed their own animals outcomes....I just don't/didn't feel it necessary to rub salt in a wound when nothing can be done about it now....I only wish they could have the same consideration for you (and others for that matter...you aren't the only one who has been 'judged' by them).
God Bless you for all that you do for the animals that come into your life, and remember that as human beings, we all make mistakes....I just hate that yours had such tragic results. Please, continue to come here, and know that you have many people here that care about you.
Kim

BabyKings Mom,
Please let me say I'm so very sorry about what happened to your beloved one. It is not easy to lose one. It matters not if they are lost due to accident, sickness, or they are simply tired and just worn out. The loss is just as painful. My thoughts and prayers are with you and that beautiful creature. I am not a wordsmith but what I'm saying is from the heart.
Sincerly,
Steve

Dear (((((((BabyKing's Mommy & Family)))))))

Everyday since BabyKing went to Rainbow's Bridge, I have thought & prayed for you and your family !

QUOTE (KIM R. @ Jul 23 2006, 02:59 PM)



I totally & fully agree with EVERYTHING that Kim R. posted to you!!

You have many friends here and I hope you will always know that!! I know that your heart is broken and that you are hurting terribly.

Please don't pay attention to those who do not have anything comforting to say to you. They're not worth it -- you are suffering enough!

God Bless You & Yours,

Love, Denise

I am also very sorry that people are saying things like it is kind of your fault what happened. It was NOT your fault. Those people are being very unrealistic about life and what happens in it. If you have pets or children, bad things are going to happen no matter how much we try to prevent them. People have accidents and die or get injured, and pets have accidents and die or get injured. Your cat went into the washer himself. You didn't lock him in there. You took great care of him all his life, so you have nothing to be guilty about. It was his time to go to the Rainbow Bridge and you will see him again too. My sincere sympathy.

I am not saying that you are not a good and caring person, and I feel badly that you must now live with this loss and terrible memory.

I just don't agree with those who think that one should try to feel better after such an accident by saying things like "accidents happen." To me, that negates responsibility. I believe that only by feeling sorrow and remorse can a person find peace and forgiveness within.



Best wishes,


Daisy's Mommy

I have spent so much time and thought thinking over what has been written here and conveyed by so many people. I'm glad in a way, and also very sad, that this has turned into a topic which causes people to think and realize how heartbreakingly easy it is for any of us pet owners and parents to lose those "do-over" moments. I still don't believe that there is a single person on earth - and that's billions - who wouldn't want a "do-over", and there are so rarely those opportunities.

I believe that the majority of people who come here to communicate are aware of that single second that can happen which will change our lives forever and break our hearts, but also contribute to how we grow and change as human beings. I agree with Daisy's Mom that being able to contribute to other needy animals is a healing process, and it sounds as though you do that through the many things you've done to help animals in the past, and will do in the future. I also believe in the apt Biblical verse that Christ conveyed when he saw someone being condemned - "He who is without sin should cast the first stone." He urged His followers to forgive when he was on the cross, yes, but that action and those words were in response to a deliberate act of maliciousness and murder, and while I would never describe myself as a Biblical scholar, I just have to see a difference between what happened to Babyking and what happened to Christ on the cross.

I can understand how someone's first reaction would be something like - "Oh, that would never be something that I'd do" - but none of us, not a single one, is ever immune from the tragic things that happen in our lives. Kids will run into the street in front of us, animals will find a way to escape and get hurt or killed or be attacked, bridges will fail and crash down on us, earthquakes will hit, hurricanes will develop and cause misery and death and uncertainty about what life is all about. I could go on and on, but I think the point is made. If you've never done anything you've regretted terribly to someone or something before now, you very likely will in the future - it's inescapable. None of us goes through life without experiencing tragedy - whether we're responsible or not, directly or indirectly.

I don't mean to offend anyone - please believe me, I've found so much comfort here from so many people, and I don't think I would have made it through my losses without this board - I'd have become a blithering idiot without the support I've found here. I have enormous respect for all the people who care enough to come here to find and give support, and I'm in awe of all the folks out there who care so much about other people and animals. Sorry for rambling on, but you still have my sympathy and I care, as so many others do. Take care - Barbara

Babyking's Mom,

I completely agree with all the "good" posts to your letter, and I'm aghast and angry about the judgmental, cruel posts. You don't deserve this at all !!

You have been a wonderful Mom to Babyking, and he knows this!! And you'll see him again. When it's your time to pass from your body, you'll be reunited. In the meantime, his spirit is in the realm where there's no distress of any kind, and no awareness of separation from you. To him, it will seem like no time has passed---and there you'll be.

We will help you get through the guilt and the grief. Please let us know how you're doing. In case you don't feel safe posting in this thread (for fear of more cruel responses), please feel free to email any of us individually.

You're in my prayers!!

Love,
Kathy

My heart goes out to you. Our son's cat just died this morning after a week in intensive care, and I have been crying all day. I keep wondering if I could have done something differently to see that she needed to be to the vet's sooner. She was everything to my son and I have to tell him tomorrow when he comes home from camping. Please know that I send you a virtual hug and am so sorry that there are a couple of posts that are critical. They obviously have not been in the position you are in, and I hope they never have to be, but something similar could happen to any of us. I just saw the movie "An Unfinished Life" and it deals with the fact that accidents happen and there is no undoing that moment in time. You have a big heart--that is so evident, and I am sure you were a great owner for Babyking. Please know I send you a virtual hug and wish you peace.
Karen

Karen,
You and your son have my deepest sympathy for your loss. Kids (yes, even boys - my 17-year-old son is totally devoted to his cat - a very unsociable cat who will only let him handle her) and it will be heartbreaking to have to convey what happened when your son was gone. I'm so sorry - please come back and let us know how you and he are doing. Take care - Barbara

BabyKing,

Your cat family misses you very much. I cried today when I had to buy cat food and saw your favorite flavor.

Your "Baby bed & blanket" are still where they always were with your favorite
toy laying it just where you left it. I know I should take it away but it reminds me so much of you.

Love,

Mama Person

BabyKings Cat Family....................

They all miss you and looked up to you. I will take good care of them but will never forget you.

I had Angel since he was 2 months old and lost him to cat Leukemia after spending very high vet bills to save him and taking care of him at home. The hurt
of losing a pet is not new to me but I have never felt so much guilt as I do now
because of what happened to BabyKing. BabyKing was one of our "sentimental"
cats with a history of so much love.


Love,

MamaPerson

Dear Mama Person

My heart is breaking for you and your loss. Such a terrible ACCIDENT. Last week my daughter and 3 year old grandson were at my community pool. Alex had gotten out of the pool as we were going to leave. My daughter and I were sitting on chairs and talking when we heard a gurbling sound. In a minute's flash, Alex had gone back into the pool and was going under. We jumped in and brought him out. He didn't know what almost occured. He said "I got water in my eyes". My daughter and I both sat and cried and hugged him.

A moment we wish we could take away so it hadn't happened. Just like you. A moment of carelessness because we are only human. I know there isn't anything we can say that will help right now as you will need to work through the grieving process. Please don't listen to hateful words. Surround yourself with those that care (like us).

You matter. Babyking mattered. Make his life count by educating everyone you can about the dangers animals face even in our own home.

Joelle