This past Saturday we had to put down our Saint Bernard, Haddie. Haddie has always been a one family dog and we watched her carefully. But on Sat, she barrelled out of the pen when I was giving her water. The tenants little girls were out playing and they ran away even though I was yelling at them to stand still and not run. Before we could catch her, Haddie bit one of them. It wasn't a bad bite, but did draw blood. I think it was just because the girl was a moving target. Thank God it wasn't worse. We made the decision then and there to put her down rather than risk her biting someone else... and within the hour she was gone. I was OK until tonight. I was sad and cried, but tonight it really has hit me that she is gone forever. She and my other Saint (Sathcmo) were constant companions...they played together, slept together, cuddled together...and I feel so bad for for Satch. And I'm second guessing our decision to put her down. Maybe there was something else we could have done. But it's too late now. I can't undo our decision. Did we do right? She was only 6 years old and so happy and smart and active.

We really thought that she would outlive Satchmo (even tho he is only 3...he can't see or hear already). Satch and Had spent most of their time outside during clement weather....inside at night in the kitchen. Although after the birth of my 2nd child, they have been outside more than in. My husband and I had already discussed how since Satch and Had were so close, that if something happened to one, the other would be brought inside on a more permanent basis. We never really thought it would be Satch coming inside....always thought it would be Haddie. Now that Satch is in, it is almost making it worse because we see him and he is a constant reminder of what happened.

I keep trying to tell myself that at least Haddie was a dog and had no concept of death and so never knew what was happening. She never had to get old and suffer. And she lived a good, full 6 years, never wanted for anything. But what if she had got that girl by the throat? Or what if she decided to go after one of my sons when they were playing. My 4 year old would let himself into the barnyard to play with the dogs...what if she had gone after him? But I really don't think she would ever have hurt the immediate family. So I'm having trouble rationalizing that in my heart, even though I guess my brain is telling me that it could happen.

I've had other dogs longer than I had Haddie; and was probably closer to them than I was to Haddie (when I was single, my dogs were my family)....but their deaths seemed
easier and more natural because they were either old or in poor health. HAddie's death seems so wrong becuase she should have had years more to live.

Did we do right. Oh Haddie I feel so guilty and sad and I can't stop crying tonight.

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. The coming days will be tough, and you are already experiencing the guilt and second guessing. We all do it, even though it was the only right thing to do. Now we suffer the LOSS and that's what I find so truly difficult. Because I can't make sense of the loss, I second guess my whole life and time with my beloved furbaby. (Kirstie, cat) She was 16 and very sick, but it's the loss of her not being around I sometimes can't bear.

You were so very wise and loving to do what you did. As you have said, what would you have felt like if your dog had maimed or killed? You did the most loving HUMANE thing for someone you loved.

Grieve your loss, for there is healing in the tears (although it doesn't feel like it sometimes) We all feel your sadness and will grieve with you.

Warmly,

Cindy

Yes, I feel certain that you did the right thing.... as much as it hurts right now!! Biting a child isn't something to take a chance with.

As Cindy said, you are wise and loving and did the most humane thing for someone you loved.

Haddie understands! He had a tendency that he didn't have complete control over (not his fault--just something he had), and you prevented some potential disasters.

I think maybe it didn't "hit you" until later because it was your head that took control and did what had to be done, and now your heart is feeling all the pain of loss.

Sathcmo will need you more than ever. Do you and your husband have a big bed? Especially if he can't see or hear, touch will be extra important now. He must be grieving so. Every kiss and hug and cuddle you give to Sathcmo, I believe you may feel Satch's loving approval. Because they were so close.

Satch is in a realm now where there's no pain or sadness. His soul is enveloped in complete joy, and you'll understand (and join him) when it's your time.

Hugs and comfort,
Kathy

Dogs, like humans, are animals - and are occasionally governed by their instincts. Also like humans, some dogs can control those instincts and some cannot.

There is no "fault" in what happened. You did the right thing. You said that you "don't think" she would have hurt your children. Was it worth the risk? You decided, bravely, that it was not. Although you made the decision quickly, it was necessary.

I know that your pain and guilt won't be eased much by facts... but facts are what you had to deal with - then and now. You made a courageous and loving decision to ensure that nobody else was hurt.

In that decision, you also ensured the integrity of your dog. Haddie, if she were capable of more complex thought, would have been horrified at the thought of having hurt a child - don't you think? If I knew I was capable of spontaneously hurting children I would WANT someone to gently send me on to ensure I never hurt the ones I loved. Better a short life of happiness with my family than a longer one where I hurt them.

You did right. Both for your family and for Haddie.

Thanks for your support...I'm starting to feel better. But I still get a sick, desperate, sinking feeling if I think too hard about having to put her down. Still, life is getting into a new routine, Satch is adjusting to being the only dog (actually, I think he prefers it since he now gets 100% of the attention). I ordered Haddie's gravestone and am thinking about creating a memorial garden down in the corner of the field where I bury my pets. I've got 2 Saints Bernards and a cat there now...and eventually all my current and future fur babies will find their final rest there. I have crocuses and marigolds there now, but think I might take more space and do something a bit "grander".

Thanks again...

Jane