SUCH a mixed bunch of feelings! Perhaps I started looking too soon, but at the rescue shelter I found a pair of siamese mix kittens. They're in my house, at my feet for a "test drive" adoption. Ohmigosh, I think I might be just crazy for doing this! They already have that brotherly-love thing going, and were affectionate with the other kittens, so I'm hoping they will share that with Willow. He's been SO lonely, and tells me every morning about 6am (when he and Mink used to wash each other). He wants to play, but I only know stupid human tricks, not catplay. The kittens are separated in the office, Willow is hiding under the bed.

I feel guilt. Wanting to bond. Reluctant to bond. Afraid to hope. Knowing that one of them will charm my socks off if I let him. Completely unsure about the other one. Afraid I'm adopting them only because they have the bonded dynamic like Mink and Willow. Am I just trying to replicate it? [I don't think so.] Or am I just free to get to know another bonded pair of kitties and enjoy it? Oy, I just found out the lap sitter is a real drooler! Do I want to sign up for 17 years of drool on my lap?! (My beloved childhood kitty was a drooler, and I thought it was gross.)

I've thought of waiting until I find that one kitten that just oozes "I'm the one," but I'm afraid to pass up on this two-peas-in-a-pod duo. I'm picking them more because of what they are to each other, rather than that soul-moment zing of "Ah, there you are." Yet everyone says that siamese are notoriously people-oriented, and I can definitely see that in them.

Well, I have them for the weekend, I guess I'll know a lot more by Monday. Am I deceiving myself about something here, or are my feelings normal?
Kimberly
PS: you can see them at www.kittenresq.net, Adoptions, Purring Primaries

I too have a similar dilemma. I adopted Ike on Sunday not long at all after Meg passed, and now he is sitting on my lap (with the worst breath ever even though his teeth are clean) and I'm in love with him. (see my posting) You will know for sure by Monday, but you will probably know sooner. Try to think of the new babies without Mink's shadow. It's hard to disassociate them from the one you are missing, but they are individuals and no matter what you think, thought, felt or feel about Mink, that has nothing to do with them. You can still love Mink and love your new kids - I think you have room for that.
Good luck and let me know how it's going.

I think that this is the main reason you were 'guided' to this pair . They need to be together, and who better to understand that bond than you? If someone else were to get them, they would probably have been seperated , so you were the perfect person to take them home and appreciate such a close relationship between the two . I'm sure willow will take to them just fine, and as cute as they are (beautiful,really), I'm sure you will,too!
Much luck with your new guys, I hope all works out as it is intended to.
Kim

I chickened out. I wasn't ready. It wasn't right. All evening I felt invaded, like someone else's cats were in my home. I took them back first thing in the morning and felt a little sad but mostly relief. (The shelter director knew that this was a test run. I used to volunteer there, so I know this was an okay thing for me to do. She's all about getting the right animal to the right home.) My heart just wasn't open to them. That's so odd for me to feel, because I adore cats. I had wanted to adopt them based on logic and hope, not heart. (Kim, no worries, the shelter will ONLY let them be adopted together. And Norma's picky, she'll flat out tell someone no if she thinks it's not a good match, or the cat shouldn't be in a home with kids or other animals, etc.) Instead of "trying to talk myself into it", I got them back in circulation at the shelter quickly before the busy weekend.

Every cat I've ever had that was one of those magic, soul relationships -- the cat picked me. I need to relax and know that the right cat will cross my path at the right time. In the meantime, Willow's becoming a lot more snuggly. I'm now more comfortable having some time with just the two of us first.

I found a video of Mink and Willow last night. I knew there was a few minutes of tape, turns out it was about 40 minutes worth. It was SO nice to see him, because it was the way he moved that enchanted me, which still pictures don't catch. But it made me ache all over again.

*sigh* Grieving is such lonely work....
Kimberly