We're devastated and the guilt is overwhelming. Kevin, our funny little orange clown, was run down by a maniac speeding down our street at 10:30 am on June 15th. It was so needless. The guy doesn't live in our neighborhood, he was just speeding through to drive by his ex-wife's house to "check up" on things, whatever that means.

Kevin was supposed to be in the backyard only. Our three other kitties stay in the backyard. Kevin wanted to climb the tree in the front yard so he'd sneak over the fence and wait for us to find him in the tree and coax him down. My husband would stand on the other side of the gate to surprise him and he'd jump back into the backyard. We'd talk about elaborate schemes to keep Kevin from jumping. You see, he'd go nutty crying to get out, he was the only one to do this. He was three years old but acted like an insane kitten to persuade us to let him out. It made him so happy to go out, even though we really prefer to keep all four in the house.

My husband missed two days of work because he just couldn't get it together. It hurt seeing this big strapping guy sobbing over Kevin's little body. We were both on the floor with Kevin saying goodbye. There was just a tiny trickle of blood from his left nostril and a scrape on his upper right canine tooth. No other visible injuries. I apologized to him for not being a better mom by protecting him. A neighbor, a stranger to me, witnessed the accident and sent a sympathy card right away. Turns out she lives on the next street and was walking her dog. She and her husband are animal lovers and understand pets are like children to us. Not even a post-it note from the guy or his ex-wife, even thought she was the one who came to our door to tell us her ex had hit Kevin. She then just turned around and walked home. He just drove off.

His brother Skippy is still looking for him. He cries a lot, roaming the house. Funny, though, Kevin would wake us up at 5:30 every mornng and now Skippy has taking that task over.

After an hour of stunned grieving we drove Kevin to the pet cemetery for cremation. We'd have to wait until the following week to pick him up. My husband called in sick to work and we drove up to the local lake. We sat on the shore crying and saying our goodbyes to Kevin. I took a pretty rock that was the same color as Kevin home and placed in on the kitty condo where Kevin used to sleep. The other cats have accepted it as though they understand the purpose of the rock.

The next day, 24 hours later, My husband and son (who was home on leave from the Army) were watching a movie for distraction when my ##atiel, Mac, gave out a squeaky little cry. He'd collapsed on his landing in his huge cage. He died in my hands a minute later. I'd had him for 23 years, over half my life. It was just too much. Again we were on the floor. My husband draped over me, whispering no, no.

Again, we we paid a visit to the pet cemetery in as many days. The owner said some supportive words and encouraged us to hang in there. We were surprised that Kevin was ready for us to take home. My husband is a carpenter and together we're going to craft a pretty box for Kevin, his collar, favorite toy and a picture in front.

I wrote the guy responsible for hitting Kevin a letter and left it on her doorstep four days ago. I explained how much was taken from our family, that it hurt there was no compassion from them whatsoever. They came home together and he took off when he saw the letter on the mat. No response. She's a mom, an animal lover and a nursing student. I don't get it.

The picture is of Skippy, Kevin and Joe getting some kitty cookies from their dad.

I'm going to pick up Mac now. I'll place him next to Kevin on our dresser...

Dear Seakini,

What a terrible story. I can completely understand the grief you are in. I can also understand your anger and frustration towards the person responsable for this. Unfortunately a lot of people simply do not care for anything, which is a loss for them in the end, but it is enraging if you are the victim of their carelessness.

Please do not feel guilty, this was not your fault. It was a terrible accident. From your story speaks nothing but love for Kevin and your other animals and I am sure you did everything you could to prevent this from happening. I am sure Kevin had a wonderful life with you and was loved and cherished and knew your love.

I can not take your pain away, only time can lessen this, time that you need to spend grieving. But know that a lot of people here understand what you experience. I think you did a good thing by writing that letter to that stupid person even if you did not get a responds. It is a way of channeling your grief.
Know that a lot of people here understand. So please visit this site often, it helped me a lot.

Lots of strength for you and your family in this difficult time.

Essy

Seakini I'm so sorry for you losses. I hope that at some point you can look through your grief and focus on the wonderful memories you made with your companions. I know (and others here) only to well what you are going through.
As for the idiot who hit your car, do not look for any sympathy from him or the woman. It will only make you angrier and more resentful of the situation. Though I know you can't take him entirely out of the equation, it's just best to leave it alone as nothing you say or do will matter to change their attitudes.
For now you and your husband need to help each other get through this time and let yourself grieve.

Take care,

Chris

I am SO sorry about the loss of Kevin and Mac!!!

How tragic. My heart goes out to you and your husband.

None of this was even remotely your fault. Your intentions, and your love, was pure and perfect. You were trying to give Kevin and Mac the best life humanly possible. Don't ever forget that! Guilt is a natural part of the grieving process, but try and remember that you did all the right things.

For whatever reason I believe it was their time. And they're together now, in perfect bliss (unlike what you and your husband are going through right now), in the realm where there's no awareness of separation from you.

You'll be reunited again.

Keep us posted on how you're doing. I'm so glad you and your husband and Skippy and Joe have each other. You are a wonderful family.

Love and heartfelt sympathy,
Kathy

A person who would hit an animal and drive off is so evil that you cannot expect any human response from him. His wife sounds as bad. What a shame that she is a mom.

I'm sorry for your terrible loss. Try to take comfort in the fact that you gave your baby a wonderful life until evil took him from you.


Daisy's Mommy