I had 2 cats - both Persian mix, long haired black - for 10 years, until today.
They were named Satan and Lucifer as they were both devils!
Lucifer was always getting into trouble - fights, wounds, many trips to the vets, always the adventurous one but also the most loving - a 'lap' cat, always needing to be stroked and loved.
Satan is much more restrained.

But today my world fell apart. This morning I noticed that Lucifer had not come in for breakfast - most unusual as he always thinks of his stomach. As I looked outside the kitchen window to call him, I saw that the lid from the water butt was lying on the patio. Because there is a water shortage in the UK, we have been banned from using hosepipes and can only water from butts. I had checked the butt late last night to see the level of water, and had replaced the lid - safely I thought.
I immediately screamed for my husband as I had a feeling that something was wrong. He looked in the water butt and saw Lucifer in there. He immediately drained the butt but my darling, darling cat was already dead.
I cannot help crying, I cannot help thinking that it is all my fault. I cannot imagine not stroking his sweet face and little head, with his trusting eyes looking at me. I am walking around the house in a daze, I do not know what to do and I feel like I was the worst pet owner in the world. If only I could turn back time, if only I had put a brick on the water butt, if only, if only.

And what should I do about Satan? He knows something is wrong and has been waiting and calling for Lucifer all day, sniffing about the patio and trying to find him.

Please - any advice or words of comfort would be so much appreciated - thank you.

May god be with you.

I am sorry for your loss. I would get Satan another cat. My meiko passed away 6 weeks ago and my other cat started to make herself sick from her grieving. I got another cat about 3 weeks after he passed and she is slowly starting to accept him and it has eased some of her pain. I was not ready because Meiko was like one of my children and I couldn't bear the thought of bringing a new pet home. I felt like I was betraying him somehow. Meiko is very special to me and I do not think I will ever love another cat as much as I love him. I couldn't be selfish though by leaving his sister by herself since he was all that she knew. She use to meow constantly and was very withdrawn. She doesn't meow as much now even though I know she still misses him terrible. I would give Satan a little time however to mourn the companion because Satan could resent the new cat if it is brought home too soon.

Oh, I do feel for you. We had something similar to that happen a few years back - we didn't know that baby bunnies could actually crawl out of their nest, and sure enough one did and he fell in the water bowl and drowned. My son, whose bunnies they were, was absolutely devastated with grief, and so was I cause it was my idea to put a bowl in instead os a water bottle. Today it was my turn to do the opposite - not put a bowl of water out when I should have. The recriminations and guilt are the worst, and no matter how one tries to rationalize them, they just keep coming back. I feel for you, I'm thinking of and praying for you. Take care, Barbara

Thank you all so much for your replies and good wishes.
The pain will go away, in time, I know, but it is so comforting to know that there are others out there who have suffered as I am.

I was amazed when I first came to this forum in December just how many thousands and thousands of people like us there are out there, including those who don't post here, or anywhere. If everyone loves their pets as much as we do, and I can't imagine otherwise, it is incredible to me to think how the world keeps functioning. And when you add in those heartbroken folks who have lost sons (I'm thinking specifically of all those young men in Iraq right now, but there are so many others) and those who have lost spouses and other family members, how does the world keep turning and things keep working? I can only marvel, and believe that there is a higher power that keeps this world lit up.

Hang in there - I know it's easy to say, but not so easy in life. The intense grief will pass, but there will always be remembrance, and one day you will smile at the memories, I pray. Take care - Barbara

I am so sorry for you. I can imagine that it must be so hard for you right now. All I can say is this: Please remember that this is not your fault, it is an accident. We all care for our furbabies and I am sure all of us have left doors open or forgot to put water some time or other, or left the gate open, or let our dogs run free when it was dangerous, or gave them something to eat that was not good for them. Most times such potentially dangerous things pass without harm. All I mean to say is that we are only human and we are not infalible, however much we try to be different.

Please do not blame yourself. I'm sure Lucifer received a lot of love from you, which is the most wonderful gift for every living being.
It will take time to turn your attention to the nice memories of things you experienced with him and give yourself this time, time to grief.
Here you will find people who feel the same, have the same feelings and it helps.

I wish you a lot of strenght.

Essy