I feel so surreal. I hate the fact that I can't go home and sleep in my bed b/c my faithful companion is not there to greet me at the door. It's only been 3 days, and at times I feel like I'm crumbling from the inside out. I didn't realize how much I "depended" on her companionship. She was the best cat and she loved me like I've never felt love and I loved her so deeply. I really do feel like there is a gaping hole in my soul. Even death doesn't feel like it would alleviate this pain. This truly sucks.

I know exactly how you feel right now. Before my beloved chihuahua Pumpkin died, I thought that she depended more on me than I depended on her. After her sudden death, I was so desolate and alone and realized that I had depended on her companionship and support for years. It has been 7 weeks now, and the pain is still very fresh, but now I can come home without being devastated by the fact she isn't there. I dreaded coming home for weeks, and used to run errands just to prolong the arrival. Weekends are still tough, and I miss her the most on those days.
Please know that you are not alone - your companion was so fortunate to have experienced such love and devotion from you. Too many dogs and cats live out their days neglected and unloved.
The pain will lessen to a bearable level in time, although the loss will still be there. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Thanks runningplace. The sadness is still there but the severity of it is subsiding ever so slightly. Yesterday the vet's office called to tell me they had received her cremains. I went and got her and took her home where she belonged. I felt a burst of strength and decided to stay at the house, in my bed, with my baby. I held that little tin can next to me all night long, just like we used to snuggle before her passing. I slept horrible, but it felt so complete to have her with me. I'm still so sad and want her back, but know that's just not going to happen. At least I feel like she's back with me in some way. I'll keep trudging this sad and grieving road, but with faith that it will get better.

As a footnote to anyone reading this: I have been lighting a candle each night for all the little souls out there who have passed, just so they find their way to a great place; to wait for their humans!

Love and strength to all.

Hi Mayabella:

I just wanted to say that I hope you are feeling even 1% better today......

I was looking at your posts, and although your Kirstie went to Rainbow's Bridge only on Monday, you have had the strength to comfort & give love to everyone here on the site....

As hard as that is, I want to Thank you very much for that........ In your grief, you have gone over and above that to help others..... That is remarkable....

I too, felt that I wanted to help others, as they have helped me (more than they probably ever will know)..... Your beloved baby has just been gone for 4 days....

I just wanted to say Thank you so much..... I personally felt that if I was helping anyone, in any amount that I could, in my very early days of grieving over Ernestine, that made me happy.

I have soooooo much love for everyone on this site; for we are all feeling the same.... We are missing loved ones that are not here any longer in the physical sense, but, I certainly believe that all of our babies live QUITE STRONGLY IN OUR HEARTS!!!!!!

THEY ALWAYS WILL!!!!!! Always remember that your beloved Kirstie is never, ever far from you.... EVER!!!!!

God Bless you Mayabella...... You are helping so many people, probably much more than you could ever know....

You are in my thoughts and in my prayers.....

Love, Denise