Since everyone here (me too) are taking their pets' deaths so hard, I wonder how we will react when a close human dies? Or do we grieve our pets more than humans? I read somewhere that people do indeed grieve the loss of their pets more than even close relatives because we have such a special bond with them. But somehow, I can't imagine feeling less distressed with the death of my husband than my dog. Maybe it's just different?

I was thinking about this as well. I was very close to my grandfather, he was like my father. He passed away when I was 18 and I cried a lot and I was very sad. Losing my Meiko, I have felt more pain than I have ever felt in my life. I think if I were to lose my husband or one of my children (God forbid), I would grieve more because I know that I have a close bond with them, just as I did with Meiko. All in all, it is pain that is felt because a loved one has passed. I think people develop bonds with their animals as they would with a human so the pain is the same. I spent everyday with Meiko so it has absolutely devastated me that he is no longer here. I think part of me died with him because nothing, or no one can fill the void that is in my life now. I have to learn to live life without him, I have to learn to live life with that void because nobody can ever fill it.

Unfortunately I know how I would react to the death of a loved human because my dear dad passed away suddenly six years ago. It was an absolute shock and unbearable pain for me to deal with, but I think all in all I handled it okay. I did most of my crying when I was alone and I cried as hard as a human being can cry. I went through a major depression, but I think that if I had had a support network like I have had here, I would have been much better off. If someone had just told me that it was okay to cry HARD, to feel hopeless, to go through the steps of grief, like they have here, the depression might not have been so bad.

The feelings I have felt since I lost Kandy have been very similar and I felt like there was something wrong with me that I could grieve like I did when losing someone so special as my dad. But she was with me every day and she gave me a very special, unconditional love and being on this forum has made me realize that all of this is normal. She was so much a part of me.

I don't think that because anybody here is reacting in such a strong way means that they will not be able to handle the death of a loved human being. I think we are given just enough strength to handle these times as they inevitably come in our lives. The special thing about people here is that we have allowed ourselves to love our animals the way we love the most special people in our lives. Losing them is the worst kind of pain, but as many people have pointed out here, that pain is far outweighed by the joy and love we felt when we were with our pets.

Referring to your comment, my mother-in-law told me something that I think is quite true, but hard sometimes. God never gives us more than we can handle.

I lost my grandfather a year ago, whom I was very close to. He was like a 2nd dad to me. I grieved his death terribly as he died unexpectantly. When my Kurby died, the grief was much more devastating. I think it was because Kurby was like my child. I saw him every day and cared for him every day. Now he is gone.
I don't think that I loved my grandfather any less.....I just didn't see him daily or have to take care of him like a child.

Dear all,

I think I can answer your question honoustly, because I had to say goodbye to a lot of people and animals lately. All I can say is: every death is different.
I lost my mum three years ago, she had cancer. I was very angry for a long time and mostly in denial. My dad died six months ago, also of cancer. That made me angry as well, but less so and I feel I grieved for him in a more "healthy" way (if that exists). Perhaps this was also because with my mum I feared what was to come. With my dad I knew the signs and this prepared me a little bit, though you never can prepare for grieving.
But, and here comes the answer to your question, I lived apart from my parents already a long time before they died, we each had our own lives and I did not see them so often because we live far apart. This means that my love for them was always there, but their dead had no enormous impact in my daily life.
My dog on the contrary, was my "baby". He was with me almost every day for eleven years, gave hugs, played with me, I worried over him, took him to the vet, went for walks. He was there through some very hard times, when I did not feel like getting up in the morning and only did so because of him and my cats. And so, when I lost him, this blew a hole in my life and the picture of who I am to myself. He was just always there and that was how it should be to me. Nothing can prepare you for the fact that once it is taken away. And it is very hard to get over this.
If you should ask me, what is worst, I'll definately say the dead of my dog. But it depends on your relationships of course. And this does not mean that others count less in my life or that I loved them less.
So I guess it is a personal thing.

One thing I learned is to accept death. It is part of life and there is no way around it. So I try to cherish the moments that I had with my loved ones that are gone.
Someone, unfortunately also experienced in this matter, told me that you should take the positive energy that you feel for someone who died and turn it into something beautifull. That is what I will try to do, as soon as I have gotten used to the missing.

Gynnie's essy

I lost my father in 1999 when he was only 52 from a 5 year battle with cancer. That was harder because he was my dad and provided so much guidance for me. I think there were a few differences. For one my kitty didn't know she was going to die whereas my father did. With people you tend to have your ups and downs and they can survive without you, but my kitty always brought joy to me, always wanted love, and needed everything from me. So I think the grief has been different for each of them. But if I had to chose who to bring back it would be my dad. Another thing that made it more difficult to deal with my kitty's death was the uncertaintly of her future (where does she go, does her soul live on, etc) and I didn't have that with my dad. I believe/know my dad went to heaven and experiences afterlife. I just didn't have that same confidence for my kitty. I feel much better about it now, from the responses of the people here. It was pretty different with each loss. I grieved for my dad longer and harder. I was a mess with Little Kitty's death too, but it was not at the same level.

I do believe now that it is because we are with our pets everyday. They are completely dependant on us like children. Seems like the dependance is switched at some point without us realizing!
My husband asked me if I loved Taylor more than him because he cant imagine me grieving any harder than this...
My opinion is that love cant be seperated into boxes... One type for humans and another for animals.
I think its just varying degrees of the love substance for those who are part of our life.
My world revolved around my child, husband and Taylor. These souls make my home and life complete.
I cant escape or take a break from the 'missing' because she was with me every day. Theres no where to run....

If I lost my husband I would have to carry on for my sons sake. If I lost my son my life would be over.

I suppose we are very good at loving and love with intensity. I know I couldnt be any other way. In for a penny.....

I think it depends on who the human is. Our pets are with us every day and touch every aspect of our life, much more than a distant relative we rarely see. It is not unnatural that we would be more upset about the death of the one who is so much closer to us. It is not a matter of which life has more value, if such a thing can be judged, it is a matter of what affects our daily life more.


Daisy's Mommy