My girl Monda passed away on April 21 after a short illness. After two visits to her vet and an unknown illness, she ended up in an emergency office. They gave me mixed news on her condition, one day saying she was doing better, the next saying she wasn't. She had several things going on, which I would learn later so it was hard for the vet to know what to treat first. I, of course, never imagined she was that sick as she was always healthy. She ended up in an internal medicine facility where she got the best care possible until the end.
I cannot get out of my brain the fact that I let her stay in the emergency facility too long where they weren't really helping her and where she was not given the attention she needed (they never even checked back to see how she was doing after she left). I feel like they kept her because they wanted my money while they should have known they couldn't treat her properly. I wish I had taken charge and reacted quicker to get her to a specialist.
It's now been almost 6 weeks and I still play back her last weeks in my mind...wondering why I didn't realize she was so sick. She had chronic liver disease and although her eyes where yellow, the vet didn't seem to realize what was wrong or think it was serious. She's only been my vet for a year so I didn't know her that well and trusted she knew what she was doing.
Although Monda had a great life and was loved so much, I can't seem to let go of those last weeks. I loved her and gave her so much attention her whole life and feel like I let her down when she really needed me.
I can't seem to get past this guilt and the feeling that if I had reacted quicker to get her to a specialist she might still be with me if only for a few more months.

Feeling like crap.
tracy

Yea, the guilt is really hard to deal with, but you really can't go and second guess yourself. You really thought you were doing the right thing for your friend. Hindsight is 20/20. I'm dealing with the same thing.."if only I would have...he'd still be here." But you can't change anything. Things happen for a reason--no matter how sensless it may seem to us. I am so sorry for your loss and please stop blaming yourself, ok?

Tracy,
I am so sorry for how you are feeling.
You have no reason to feel guilty. You took Monda to the Vet and the Specialist.
That is more than a lot of people would do.
When somebody dies we all feel some guilt, even though most of us shouldn't.
It is so easy to miss an illness in a pet.
I always feel a little guilty that I didn't notice sooner that our dog, Snowy, was Diabetic. But sometimes the symptoms are so vague that we don't notice. Now I try to focus on Snowy's life, not her death.
It sounds like you gave Monda a great life. Monda loved you and would not want you to hurt.
Don't focus on the last weeks, but on Monda's whole life, and how happy she was.
I know it is still new right now, but things will get better with time.
Again I am so sorry.
Love Wendy

Please don't blame yourself or feel guilty. You had your baby in a medical facility, and THEY are the ones who should have known waht to do medically, NOT you. I tsounds as if you wen tthe extra mile to help your baby, so it is NOT your fault.
I know the guilt is a hard thing to overcome. I am feeling guilty for lots of things, that I shouldn't, over my dear angel dog, Lewis. The grief I feel missing him is so overwhelming it is making me sick, and I find it hard to eat or sleep.
PLEASE know you did nothing wrong!
My heartfelt sympathy to you, and I don't care what anyone says, our pets go to heaven!!! Wish AI had room to copy and paste a poem here. HOw long can the messages be here?

welcome to the site.
in the years running this software, i have yet to encounter a limit for text.

My heart aches for you. I hope things get better for you soon and wish I could say something to help.

I felt very guilty after my Little Kitty died. She had liver issues too and I suspect they had been going on for awhile. I didn't opt for the necropsy so we don't really know anything definite. But the vet did say that they are usually asymptomatic until it is terminal so basically there's nothing I could have done to predice or prevent it. But I went though the guilt stage too. I hope you are able to work through that quickly. It helped me to go to the places she spent most of her time and "talk" to her. I told her I was sorry a bunch of times. I think that helped me a lot.

Guilt is a normal part of grieving. Just remember that any act done with love, even if mistaken, is not a cause for guilt.

I feel terrible that I let Daisy spend two days in the hospital before her death. But, if I hadn't, I would have felt terrible that I hadn't tried to save her. I am just thankful that she got to spend one night at home before she passed on.

There are no happy endings, but the ending is just a tiny part of the whole life. Your grief knows shows that Little Kitty had what matters most - love and care during her entire life.

Daisy's Mommy