I lost my cat Milton last week and I've been in a black hole of grief. My friend suggested this site. Milton was a Burmese who was to turn 3 in July. Milton acted like a dog (and I know this statement often'offends' cat lovers...)he ran to the door when the doorbell rang. If a new person came over, he had to sit on them. He socialized at parties. He fetched, listened to commands. He turned cat-haters hearts. He was such a part of my life. He followed me room to room. He loved to cuddle. I dread going home beacuse I know he won't be there to meet me. Milton fell off our rooftop deck--I think he may have been chasing a bird or bug. He survived the fall and we got him to the vet but his lung collapsed and wasn't able to make it. I'm 31 years old and this has been the first loss of a loved one that was close to me and I was so unprepared...
I am in physically in pain. My heart is broken. I keep reliving the event and thinking--what if I wouldn't have watered the garden--he would still be here. I carried him upstairs after the fall and placed him on the sofa while I called the hospital. I was petting him and kissing him and the look he was giving me--he was so scared and his eyes were pleading with me. I can't get the look he gave me out of my mind. The next 2 hours were rushing to the hospital and with the doctors. He died during cpr. I didn't even get to spend his last moment with him. I just hopes he know we were there...I'm going to hold a little memorial when we get his remains back.
I almost feel guilty admitting this--but I want a new cat--now. Not as a replacement, just to fill the void of a house with no pets. I dunno if its too so or what

probably best to wait a bit on getting the new pet, for most people it would be too soon. give yourself time to grieve and to remember Milton.

I am so sorry for your loss.
I am 33 years old and when our dog, Snowy, died on October 21st 2005 I was devastated.
It was also the first time I had lost someone so close to me.
Our pets are like our children and it just hurts so bad.
I believe animals have a sort of a sixth sense, and I believe that your cat knew how much you loved him.
Snowy was sick for a while, but her death was kind of sudden too. She got really sick for a week, then died in her sleep.
It was sudden because I think that I thought that somehow she would make it.
Snowy had such a strong spirit. She was a fighter, and I just thought that she would pull through somehow.
I think about her everyday, and everyday I look at her picture and say hello to her.
I can understand you wanting to get another cat, but I agree that it may be wise to wait for a little while. I would give yourself some time to grieve, then look for another cat.
I will pray for you. And again I am so sorry.
Love Wendy

Only you can tell when you will be ready for a new cat. But, remember, the fact that you want one now is a testament to Milton, not a betrayal of him.

Go with your heart - it is never too soon or too late.

Daisy's Mommy

I so understand the new pet feeling. I feel like if I have something to put my attention on it won't hurt so much. But then I wonder... will I compare the 2? If I did I would be so harsh on the new 1. I'm still tossing it around. Either way will be right, because it's for you.

Thank you, Daisy's Mommy, for what you said..."But, remember, the fact that you want one now is a testament to Milton, not a betrayal of him." i never thought of it that way & it does help. Especially since alot of my thoughts are how I'm doing her injustice by holding Spike or by wanting something to occupy my time some. I know I could never replace her, but does she know that as well?

When people who lose their most beloved pet get a new pet, it is not a replacement. Nothing can replace the special and unique soul that is gone. I don't mean any disrespect by making this &%^ogy, but this reminds me of a newscast I saw a long time ago. An older couple lost their three children in the air disaster over Ireland. They later adopted three orphans. Friends questioned if they were trying to replace their children and why they would want more children at this point in their lives. Their answer moved me and still brings tears to my eyes - they had so enjoyed being parents and had loved their children so much, that they did not want to go on without being parents again. They felt it was a testament to their love for their children that they wanted to be parents again during this life. They were sure that their children were happy in heaven and understood that it was because of their parents’ love for them that their parents adopted these three orphans.

Also, our loved ones do not want us to suffer. I know it truly makes Daisy and Milton unhappy that we are so sad here. If a new pet will bring you joy, it will bring Milton joy also. He does not want you to be in pain. He wants the day to come when you will remember him only with joy, and without any sorrow.

Also, our love is limitless. A new pet will not be a distraction - it will be a new individual for you to share your love with. It in no way detracts from your love for Milton.


Anne

Thanks for your kind words and I agree. Today I made it through 1 week without my buddy and every day is getting easier. I think about him everyday--but happily. And I look forward to getting to know and love a new cat in the near future...