Hello all.
I am sad that we are having to meet under these cir%%stances, but on the same note am so glad to have all of you and know that I am not alone.
I just put my 16 y/o cat Kirstie to sleep on Monday and feel like I can't go on. It helps to know others feel so deeply for their best friends in fur (or scales, or feathers, etc) I am not even able to go to my home yet and have been staying with friends until this pain subsides. I know she is out of pain now and that I did the right thing, but I miss her so so much. My whole life felt like it revolved around her love and now I feel so lost and lonely. I read somewhere else on this site about the pain moving through one's soul, and yes i can agree. It is a devastating feeling.
I keep wondering if I gave her enough love, even though I know I did. She was the "queenie" of the house and got whatever she wanted. What do I do now? I move on I know, but with a great big hole in my soul, my spirit and my being. With time I know it will subside, but never go away. I've been through the feeling of never wanting to experience this pain again so not getting another cat. That lasted about 1 1/2 days. I will probably go to the Humane Society in the coming weeks and let one pick me out and save it's life. Or maybe she will be saving mine.
Thanks for listening all. I will be on this site daily, if not many times a day just to get through, and to offer my love, support and strength to all who pass this way with us.
Kirstie, I love and miss you so much!!! Save me a seat in heaven!
Full Version: Unbelievable Pain
My heart goes out to you over the loss of your precious Kirstie. It is heart-wrenching, I know!
Her spirit is with you, I have no doubts. And she is not in any pain---physical or emotional. I have heard, and I believe, about death, that "there is no time or space---only love." And when it's your time, you'll understand everything---as Kirstie already does---and you 2 will be fully reunited. Until then, your soul has more time to spend in your body (and more needy animals for you to rescue and love?... and speaking of this, Kirstie will be proud of you for being able to save others. You obviously have a lot to give. There will never be another Kirstie, but there are others who will find themselves extremely lucky to be rescued and loved by someone as caring as you).
I had to put my sweet cat, Little Girl, to sleep 3/24/04. She would have been 17 this coming Saturday... For the 1st few days all I did was stay in bed with my laptop computer so I could be on this site (and 2 other grief sites), watch movies, and talk about my feelings with a select few people (anyone who wouldn't fully understand I had to avoid). I still am going through a lot of feelings; Little Girl was the center of my life, as your Kirstie was yours. I still check in here each day, but the pain isn't paralyzing anymore. Night after night, I would tell myself, "I made it through another day".
Are your friends supportive? You deserve unconditional support and understanding. When you decide to make the move back home, can a friend stay with you there for a few days, to help with the transition? Or if not, can you have phone support whenever you need to talk? If it helps, maybe you could leave your computer connected to the internet all night, so if you wake up, this group will be right there with you.
Grief follows a general pattern, but everyone grieves differently. Honor your own process, and ask for the help that you need. We're all here for you.
Much love and support,
Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy
p.s.
I just read your post to the person whose dog will be laid to rest on Friday. How compassionate of you, in the midst of your own grief, to reach out and help others in need.
Her spirit is with you, I have no doubts. And she is not in any pain---physical or emotional. I have heard, and I believe, about death, that "there is no time or space---only love." And when it's your time, you'll understand everything---as Kirstie already does---and you 2 will be fully reunited. Until then, your soul has more time to spend in your body (and more needy animals for you to rescue and love?... and speaking of this, Kirstie will be proud of you for being able to save others. You obviously have a lot to give. There will never be another Kirstie, but there are others who will find themselves extremely lucky to be rescued and loved by someone as caring as you).
I had to put my sweet cat, Little Girl, to sleep 3/24/04. She would have been 17 this coming Saturday... For the 1st few days all I did was stay in bed with my laptop computer so I could be on this site (and 2 other grief sites), watch movies, and talk about my feelings with a select few people (anyone who wouldn't fully understand I had to avoid). I still am going through a lot of feelings; Little Girl was the center of my life, as your Kirstie was yours. I still check in here each day, but the pain isn't paralyzing anymore. Night after night, I would tell myself, "I made it through another day".
Are your friends supportive? You deserve unconditional support and understanding. When you decide to make the move back home, can a friend stay with you there for a few days, to help with the transition? Or if not, can you have phone support whenever you need to talk? If it helps, maybe you could leave your computer connected to the internet all night, so if you wake up, this group will be right there with you.
Grief follows a general pattern, but everyone grieves differently. Honor your own process, and ask for the help that you need. We're all here for you.
Much love and support,
Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy
p.s.
I just read your post to the person whose dog will be laid to rest on Friday. How compassionate of you, in the midst of your own grief, to reach out and help others in need.
Hi!
My thoughts & prayers are with you now as you go through this pain after losing your beloved Kirstie......
I am sorry...
Of course you miss her...... Some people might say, "well, you had her for 16 years, etc., etc....."..... But, even after a day or two with a new furbaby, 99.9% of us have all fallen head over heels in love with our babies.......
I probably sound like a broken record, but....... On 2/7/2004, we had to put our beloved Ernestine to sleep.... She would've been 20 years old, this month....
She was in pain - she was suffering - losing weight - retching -...... Horrible....
And, Ben & I decided to put her to sleep.. It was time....
One very wise soul on this site said to me, "YOU TOOK ON ERNIE'S PAIN SO THAT SHE COULD FINALLY BE WITHOUT PAIN....."
That was the only thing that made sense to me, in a time when nothing was making sense to me at all!!!!!!
Yes, God didn't take her (as I had prayed), so Ben & I brought her to the vet so she could be put to sleep.....
Your Kirstie WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU....... She lives in your heart and she lives in your mind..... ALWAYS.......
What helped me (and I think a lot of the wonderful people here at LS), is that I looked through LOTS of people's posts here..... From beginning to most recent.
In the beginning, I said, "I feel like I'm snooping"...but, that's why all of our posts are here...... For everyone to look at.....
I can't tell you how much reading all of the posts helped me......
I wish you lots of love, and wish I could hug you until you feel better.
But, like Kathy says, it is a process, and it is a journey..... Lightning Strikes has been a life-saver for me..... Everyone here knows that!!!
We are all here for each other..... Always.....
Please, come here often.... And, read all of the posts of people that have been here before and also the people that are still on board.....
I don't think I will ever leave LS, because I still need help... I need to read & I need to remember....
Also, I want so much to reach out to everyone that needs help.... I don't know if I'm helping, I can only pray that I am.... Even if it's just a little bit....
You take care and we'll talk again, I'm sure....
Love, Denise
My thoughts & prayers are with you now as you go through this pain after losing your beloved Kirstie......
I am sorry...
Of course you miss her...... Some people might say, "well, you had her for 16 years, etc., etc....."..... But, even after a day or two with a new furbaby, 99.9% of us have all fallen head over heels in love with our babies.......
I probably sound like a broken record, but....... On 2/7/2004, we had to put our beloved Ernestine to sleep.... She would've been 20 years old, this month....
She was in pain - she was suffering - losing weight - retching -...... Horrible....
And, Ben & I decided to put her to sleep.. It was time....
One very wise soul on this site said to me, "YOU TOOK ON ERNIE'S PAIN SO THAT SHE COULD FINALLY BE WITHOUT PAIN....."
That was the only thing that made sense to me, in a time when nothing was making sense to me at all!!!!!!
Yes, God didn't take her (as I had prayed), so Ben & I brought her to the vet so she could be put to sleep.....
Your Kirstie WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU....... She lives in your heart and she lives in your mind..... ALWAYS.......
What helped me (and I think a lot of the wonderful people here at LS), is that I looked through LOTS of people's posts here..... From beginning to most recent.
In the beginning, I said, "I feel like I'm snooping"...but, that's why all of our posts are here...... For everyone to look at.....
I can't tell you how much reading all of the posts helped me......
I wish you lots of love, and wish I could hug you until you feel better.
But, like Kathy says, it is a process, and it is a journey..... Lightning Strikes has been a life-saver for me..... Everyone here knows that!!!
We are all here for each other..... Always.....
Please, come here often.... And, read all of the posts of people that have been here before and also the people that are still on board.....
I don't think I will ever leave LS, because I still need help... I need to read & I need to remember....
Also, I want so much to reach out to everyone that needs help.... I don't know if I'm helping, I can only pray that I am.... Even if it's just a little bit....
You take care and we'll talk again, I'm sure....
Love, Denise
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