Hello, I lost my precious cat almost 3 weeks ago. I wake up everyday hoping that the pain will not be as bad that day. I wake through the middle of the night either because of a nightmare or because I just starting thinking about him. I have never felt this much sadness before in my entire life and I am 27 years old. I am married with 2 children, but he was my constant. He was always there. I am not sure how to let go and accept that he is gone. I have another cat that is mourning pretty hard too, I am trying to be strong for her as well. I feel as though I am being selfish because some mornings, I do not even want to wake up. I have a beautiful family that I love very much, but now part of it is gone and I am not sure how to put one foot in front of the other. My children are young so they don't fully understand and my husband is just "not thinking about it" to get by. He was my best friend and now that I have lost him I feel so empty inside. I keep thinking about all of the what-ifs. He was a beautiful Maine Coon. He had FUS (feline urological syndrome) and had a urinary blockage. I took him in and he was there for 9 days. The morning I woke up to the phone call from the vet was the morning I was suppose to pick him up. The vet has no idea why he passed. I think that is another reason why I am having trouble with letting go. Maybe he died from a broken heart, that he thought I wasn't coming back to get him. There are so many things that I wish I could have done differently and I would do anything to have just one more moment with him. I miss him so much. I can still see him everywhere and feel him. He use to follow me to the bathroom to turn the water on for him. I have had many cats, but he was different. I have never loved an animal as much as I loved him. I feel so sorry for my other cat because she misses him just as much. I got her to keep him company so they have always been together, and now she is alone. I want to get another cat for her but I think it may be too soon. Does anyone have any suggestions as to when I should, if I should get her a new companion? Thanks

I am so sorry about Meiko. I know how it is. I lost my soul cat almost three months ago and I am still in a lot of pain. Sidney was incredible and a great pal to my Maine Coon Nelson. Nelson was so bored and he just loves people and cats, so we got Eli last week

Eli is a nine month old cat/kitten who is great, but his back left leg was badly shattered when he was young and it has not healed in a traditional manner. It is so funny to see Nelson, all 18 lbs. of him, running from a small limping cat.

I have been able, lately, to focus on all of the wonderful memories that Sid gave me. The last two weeks I have been working hard to forget, or at least ignore. I miss Sidney so much but what can I do but focus on the good times?

I hope all of the good times with Meiko soon dominate your memories of him.

Just for fun here's my Nelson.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Know that the pain will dull in time. You will never "get over" your loss, but as time goes on you will be able to cope knowing he's no longer with you.

As for getting another cat that is your call, no one elses. You will know when the time is right. Don't push yourself. Give yourself some time to grieve and feel these feelings. Getting another cat too soon may cause you to resent it and not give it a chance to fit in to the family. Animals are very sensitive and the last thing you want to do is give off vibes that you don't fully accept it. When you bring a new one home, make sure it is with an open heart and know that it is not a replacement for your loss. You want to be able to focus all of your energies into the new bundle of joy and let it feel that it will be fully accepted and loved.

Take Care - Chris

Thank you both for your replies. Some days I feel as though I am beginning to accept it and others I feel like I am never going to stop crying. Your supportive words help. I am glad that I found this website, just to know that I am not alone and there are other people out there that loved their animals just as much.

What a beautiful boy! Maine coons are awesome. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so painful and it takes so long to heal. It is tough to explain to anyone who has never been through it, but I grieved my two seniors as much as I did a relative who passed away - I felt guilty about that, so I never told anyone.

As for getting another fur buddy, you will know when the time is right. There is no need to rusn into it. Just give your other cat a lot of attention since she is missing him, too. After Carmen passed, I got another cat (a rescue) after three months because Oswald was ripping his fur out. He had never been the only cat in the house and instead of thriving on it, he was doing very poorly. Then another little female came along to join the group.

I waited almost two years to adopt another cat after Oswald passed. This one looks quite a bit like him, and I felt drawn to him - he had been rescued in March; I adopted him three weeks ago and thought he was running out of time. Use your own judgment and timeframe. Nothing is wrong or right.

Again, I am sorry for the loss of your beauty. You gave him a good life and a lot of love. That is what truly matters.

Talking from recent experience it is definitely a bittersweet act. Getting a new cat. Eli is adorable but my loss is really a little fresh. I would have waited if it were not for Nelson. It took Nelson all of three days to accept him. Tomorrow will be a week and they are already inseperable.

For me it has been a little tougher though. I would trust your instincts, as other people say.

I think I may not be ready but my cat is not use to being alone so it may be best for her. She is starting to get sick I think. I found one that looks like Meiko as a kitten. I am not sure if I should get him because of that. He is beautiful though. Another Maine coon of course, but he is in a foster home waiting to be adopted. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

As I wrote, I got another cat quite soon after Carmen was put to sleep. My other cat, Oswald, had never been alone before. I thought he might enjoy it, being the only cat around, with no competition for attention. He hated it. He started ripping his fur out and looked depressed. I thought he might snap out of it. He didn't. So after a mere month of losing Carmen, I adopted Em. Oswald perked right up and after the initial hissy-fit stage (by Em), the two of them started playing together. He thrived until he was 17 years old.

It was probably too soon for me, but wanted to make life better for Oswald. Of course, now he is gone too, and Em has been joined by Alice and Maxwell.

I have grown to love Em and Alice. Maxwell has only been here for three weeks, but I will grow to love him, too.

If your other cat is starting to get sick, she is probably grieving. I would consider getting another cat, particularly if you are out a lot and the resident cat is alone. Some cats are sociable and really suffer when they are left alone. (Oswald was.)

New to this. I had to put my sweet Abbie down May 22. She was 17 years/10 months old and the "love of my life." I just can't quit crying. I miss her so much I feel like my heart is just breaking. I was OK at work finally on Friday and then started again yesterday and all day today. I just can't believe she's gone. I keep trying to focus on how lucky I was to have her as long as I did, but I feel selfish as I wanted her longer. She was a "rescue" that had been dumped with her brother on the Interstate in Nashville, TN when I got her when she was about 1 month old. And, she was deaf, so I really was protective of her and felt like she was my baby. I just can't accept she's gone.
I tried to get another cat 5 days after Abbie; my hairdresser's daughter wanted to get rid of her 4 year old Himalayan and my Abbie was part Himalayan. But, I just couldn't do it. Her coloring was the same, but their faces were so different. This "new" cat looked mad all the time and I realized it just wasn't fair to her as I knew it was too soon and I wasn't ready, so I sent her back. She was scared to death of my dog and hid in the basement the 4 days I had her. I think I was trying to "replace" Abbie and it just didn't work. There will never be another Abbie and I just don't know what to do with this grief. I don't even want to go to work and think people there are losing patience with me already. I can't concentrate and keep crying so now I'm worried I'll get fired.
I'm feeling afraid to even get another kitty as this pain is as bad as I felt when my Mom died 20 years ago. In some ways, I'm afraid to admit, it seems worse as I pretty much spent every day for almost 18 years with Abbie. I used to have 3 pets so they were my "vacations" as far as money is concerned, so we were rarely apart. My other cat died 2 years ago at the age of 18 also, but this one is worse and now to just have my dog, the house seems so empty and lonely. I just feel like I want to die from all the pain. I hope and pray it gets better. Thanks all, this site is a God-send.