Hello,
My name is Jack. I have never done anything like this and I have never grieved over an animal like I am my Schmoo. He was an 18 year old ~~su that I fell in love with so much. At the end of his life he went blind, then lost the use of his back legs. I was basically taking care of his every need. If you knew me you know I had to love him to do this. I knew that I had to do something because he began to suffer. On that day I took him for his last ride in the car (he loved riding in the car with his head sticking out). Of course I had to hold him up for him to be able to do that but I know he really enjoyed it. I held him on my lap and shoulder, which he really loved. I miss him. The house is not the same. I sometimes look for him. Sometimes I go to where I buried him and talk to him. He was my buddy. I think I was much closer to him than I could have ever imagined. I guess I just needed someone that would listen. I cry often and wish I had him back. Thanks for listening.
Jack

Hi Jack:

I am happy that you found this wonderful site, that was a lifesaver for me.....
BUT, at the same time, I am sorry that you had to find LS at all!!!

I am sorry for the loss of your furbaby, Schmoo...... He sounds like he was a real doll!

You know, after we had to put our beautiful Ernestine to sleep on 2/7/2004, I was mad that God didn't take her.
That we had to make that decision to have her put to sleep --- she was suffering as well.

But, some wise soul on this site said to me, "You took on Ernestine's pain so that she could be without pain..."

That was the only thing that made any sense to me AT ALL!!!!.. She couldn't die on her own, we needed to help her.

What I did when I first came to this site on 2/8 in the early AM, I read other people's posts...... from the beginning
to their most recent.
And, I saw the stages of grief that people went through ----
None of us go through grief the same way....that's for sure!!!!!

Of course you loved your beloved Schmoo..... And, he loved you back...

He's over Rainbow's Bridge, with all our other furbabies, and animal friends that have gone on before him....

He'll always be in your heart Jack...

Keep in touch with us here, okay..... I had never know a place like this existed, but I am so grateful that it does!!!

Peace,
Denise

The pain is unbelieveable, isn't it? It just feels like the pain goes all the way down to your soul!! I, too, know how you feel. I lost my beloved Zipper 3/6. The people here are wonderful, they can help you thru some of the worst pain!! They worked wonders for me. I know you feel like part of your heart has been ripped from your chest, but Schmoo is happy now. He has use of his back legs now, at the Rainbow Bridge!! He is feeling no pain, and no sorrow. Sure, he'll miss you, but he knows you will come for him when the time is right. Hold on to that thought, it was the only one that comforted me. Like the people here told me, would Schmoo want to see you unhappy?? No. The pain will lessen as time goes by, relive the happy memories, for Schmoo would want that. And it helps the pain immensely. I talked about my good memories with the doggie daddy several nights in a row, and it sure did help the pain. Please post when you need to, we are here for you. We all know your pain, good luck & HUGS--Zippers Momma

Sorry about the loss of your pet. Hard, isn't it? Had to have my cat Kitt put to sleep in Feb. because of cancer. I know what you mean about still looking for Shmoo in your house. I keep expecting Kitt to jump up on my computer table or come in and watch Judge Judy with me. I have two new furbabies now, but the three days I was catless were the loneliest of my life, so I think I have an inkling of how you feel. Just remember that Shmoo will never really leave you and that he's not in pain anymore.

Jack,

My heart goes out to you. I just read the other responses to your post, and they said it all.

We are all with you in this.

What an awesome Dad you are---I can tell.

You will be in my prayers. Love,

Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

I just wanted to tell all of you how much I appreciated all your comments... they meant the world to me. It makes me feel better to know that there are others that have experienced the same thing that I have and also to know that I won't be judged for how I feel. You do not know how refreshing it was to see answers posted for me. You will never know. What an awesome group of people.
I still really miss my buddy and cry for him often but I know with your help I will make it. Thanks. Jack

Good Early Morning Jack:

Your quote, "What an awesome group of people".......
Well, you said it right there in a nutshell........

I, personally, would never have "made it" if it had not been for all of these lovely & wonderful people here at LS, and also my boyfriend Ben.....

I thought my world had ended, as I knew it...... I just couldn't get up in the morning.....

But, everyone here at LS, whether they have been here since the very beginning, or are newcommers, I find something very special in what everyone has to say!!!!!
No question....THAT'S FOR SURE!!!!!!

Jack, on LS, YOU WILL NEVER, EVER BE JUDGED ON "HOW YOU FEEL"...... EVER!!!!!!
We all care, all of us, soooo very much....how everyone is getting along....

Whether they have been here longer than us (for me, since 2/7/2004)....or, they have just "come on board".... Really.....

There is no difference...... We're all grieving, and we all grieve in a different way; which does help.....People can advise what hill we might have to climb next.....
That hill might not "even apply to us"......

I've learned that grieving is really, individual...... (In my journey, anyway....)
The journeys are all different.....

I have "met" sooooooo many fantastic, wonderful, caring people on Lightning Strikes..
If someone had told me about this site, I never would have believed it; but, I found it on my own.....(Thank you God!!!!!)

You will make it Jack, slowly.....I call it "baby steps"....(probably stealing it from that Bill Murray moving about 6 years ago)........

You will look for your beloved Schmoo for awhile; probably just like I did my girl, Ernestine...... I thought, "where could she be....????"..... And, then I'd remember...... And, I'd cry....

But, crying helped me to heal...... They still do....... I don't cry as often, but when I do, I think of my very special beautiful girl.......
Almost 20 years of my life.....she was my daughter (I don't have any "human kids"...)

But, one month later we adopted two "teen" furbaby kitties.....
Lucy (Goose) and Yo-Yo (Ma).......................
They will NEVER BE OUR ERNESTINE, but, they both have their own, VERY INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITIES......... VERY DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one is EVER THE SAME!!!!
But, they are very special gifts from God.....they sure are, Jack......

They don't replace Ernie......no kitty could......NONE!!!

But, these two are sooo special, and we love them with all of our hearts......

I'm glad that we didn't keep our hearts closed to loving again....for, we had so much love in our hearts TO GIVE..........

So Jack, please stick around here......whenever you want, how ever much you want.... there's always someone new "coming on"....(not that we have any "set schedules".....I just believe our furbabies say, "Hey Mom/Dad, why don't you go on LS and see what's up"......
(I really do believe that)......
It's 2:08am on Wednesday morning and I just came on and saw your post time at 1:39am....... SEE........ It's our furbabies at work, (I believe).

Well, gotta go to bed, getting tired.... But, I am glad I read your post.... You sound better......and I am glad that you feel better.... It helps to know that others share your feelings.....Really!!!!!

And Jack, You will make it may friend........ It just takes patience & time....

Your Schmoo is looking down at you and though He knows that you miss him == He is doing JUST FINE...... REALLY.... BELIEVE ME......

He can see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can use his back legs!!!!! Jack, Schmoo is WHOLE, ONCE AGAIN.......AND, HE LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He really is over Rainbow's Bridge, and having a blast with all of other furbabies & furkids who have gone on before him................... Really!!!!!

When you arrive there, (someday in the very far, far future), he'll be there waiting for you....and for Schmoo, it'll be just like one day has passed.......

So you please take good care of yourself....

Write often, read often.....find peace in everything here, OKAY???????

Goodnight & God Bless You,

Love, Denise & Ben
Peace to you, as well!!!!!

Dear Jack,
I am very sorry for your loss of your beloved Schmoo. I am glad that you found this wonderful site. As others here have said, I am also sorry for the reason you had to come here. This place is really great. Everyone here is so supportive. We all understand what you are going through. I lost my beautiful Mittens, a female tortoise shell kitty, in November of 2003. We had to put her down because she had emphasema. She was suffering and I couldn't have her living and barely breathing, in pain. The grief and pain are still very real to me. I wonder about my husband, he doesn't talk about her, but he doesn't talk much about anything. I am heartened to see that a man can feel a deep loss when a pet dies. You are a special man, Jack.
Keep coming here, whenever you need to. There will be someone here to talk to.
It's hard for me to come back, and I don't come as often as I should. I feel bad for not keeping up with everyone. I sometimes feel like I am re-living my loss again. Sorry.....crying again.
Take care.
love, Janice

I am so sorry for your loss. The last trip to the vet is so tough - I have it burned into my memory. Oswald (kitty) has been gone for almost two months but, like you, I took care of him for a few years because he had diabetes. It was unbelievably painful to lose my long-time friend and companion. I hated to come home for weeks after, because he always greeted me at the door. Even when he was ill he managed to get enough energy to walk down there. The pain has abated a bit with time, but I was opening a can of tuna a few days ago, and he wasn't there, badgering me for the juice. I started to cry again. They are such a huge part of our lives. Please accept my condolences for your loss.

Dee Dee

Jack-I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard to get through the grief and pain. My furkitty has been gone 53 days and his last few hours is still vivid in my mind. I love him so much and I know he loves me to. I had him 17 years sinse he was a kitten. I miss him very much! I am glad I found this site and there are so many wonderful and caring people here. They have made me cry a few times but then crying is a healing. It has been a great help coming here!

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.


Wanda