Finnegan, my little yorkie boy, should be lying under my chair right now, just like he always does when I work on the computer. But he's not there and it's breaking my heart. My husband opened the door this morning, right at the moment a cyclist was riding by. Finn darted out after the bike and was hit by a speeding car. He wasn't broken or maimed in any way, thank the good Lord. We think his little heart just gave out. Neither the motorist nor the cyclist even stopped, as my husband stood there with our dying dog in his arms, while my 3 and 4 year old sons stood by. Finn was only 18 months old. My 7 year old daughter, who had received Finn for Christmas the year before last, just cried in my arms, and I cried with her, as my heart was breaking as well. Finn was with me all the time, underfoot, following me around all day, a constant companion. My daughter was his "sweetheart", his pal, but I was his "mommy". I thought Finn would grow up alongside my children, and I just can't believe he's gone that quick. He was a sweet dog, very eager to please, a bit of an old soul. My husband and I often said, Finn was never a puppy. He's always had this seriousness about him - never went through that kind of hyper, mischevious puppy phase, never caused us a lick of trouble, just a quiet, loyal, loving presence in our lives. Goodbye, good little Finn. I know you are in heaven with our baby daughter Theresa, and though your death brings such a heavy sadness to our home, I am happy you will have each other and imagining you together makes me smile......until we are all together again......

I am so sorry for your terrible loss. I share your sorrow and your shock -- I lost my dog, Max, very suddenly after 17 years. He wasn't sick in any way and there was no warning that he would be suddenly gone from my life.

Your Finn was very young but it sounds like he took his time with you very seriously and tried to make every moment count. I know that makes it harder for you, but know that he is not suffering as you are -- he knows he'll see you again someday.

There will come a time when you will be able to remember him with joy. Be patient and gentle with yourself and know that others share your grief. Hang in there, Karen

missingFinn,

I lost my yorkie 1/31/06 to a car. My husband had let him out to pee after he got home from work and went back inside. I arrived home about 5 mins later to find him lying by the mailbox. The car never stopped. Kurby was 4 1/2 yrs old. He was my baby. I had him 2 yrs before I met my husband and he was "my child." We bought a house in the country and before we moved here, he NEVER left the door without a leash. We had trained him over the last year to stay in the yard when he went out but that day, he crossed over to pee on the mailbox (where other dogs pee) and he was hit. He, like your baby, went instantly. (That I thank God for every day.) I am very sorry for your loss. I have been right in your shoes. I had a complete meltdown and in fact, I dont even remember the first week after he died. I still have meltdowns. Kurby would lie under my feet also when I was at the computer desk. Yorkies are such sweet babies.....they love unconditionally. They want to please. Your baby looks like my Kurby.
I find myself especially sad today, on mothers day, because "my baby" is not with me. I have 3 stepchildren and the youngest has had a really hard time with this. Kurby would sleep with her at night.

My heart and prayers go out to you and your family as you start your journey of grief. I bet Kurby and Finn are running and playing together at Rainbow Bridge....

"Kurbysma"

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved Yorkie on April 1st of this year and understand just how you feel. Fortunately, my son was too young to feel the loss, but I cannot get over my grief. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if my child was mourning also.

This is a great site and you can find a lot of support here.


Daisy's Mommy

Thank you for your posts. Especially the post from Kurbysma. I guess because your story is so similar to mine, even the part about how Kurby would sleep with your daughter, it was especially comforting. Finn used to put my daughter to bed, so to speak. He would stay with my daughter on her bed until she was sound asleep. Then he would come downstairs with my husband and I and would spend the rest of the evening with us and would retire for his nights sleep curled up in our bed. It was like he didn't want her to have to be alone and knew that she loved having him there at bedtime.

Just knowing there is someone else out there that knows how I feel, that knows exactly how it feels to lose a little yorkie family member in the same way we lost ours is somehow comforting. It's not that I don't have support. There were so many people who loved Finn and all are grieving, my children, my husband, my parents, even our neighbors. Several of those people are even grieving as significantly as myself. My poor husband is really struggling, dealing with not only the sadness of losing his little pal, but also with having been the one to actually see it happen and having our little Finn pass away in his arms. My dad is also very, very saddened. It was my dad who took care of Finn when we first brought Finn home, those few days before Christmas. They formed a special bond and he loved Finn as if he were his dog. Even now, he says, "You know, Finn loved me best." :o) He's making a special headstone for Finn and has been wearing Finn's collar around his wrist ever since it happened. Nevertheless, there is still this lonely feeling like we're the only ones out there feeling this pain at this time, so I guess that's why the post from Kurbysma was very much appreciated and helpful. Thank you.

Today, Mother's Day, was tough. For the sake of my children, I had to put on a happy face and be joyful, but inside I was crying, because I just kept thinking, "Finn should be here with us, with his family. It's not fair that any of us should be joyful and happy, that we should just "go on", when he's in the cold ground, separated from us, the people he loved so much and who loved him so much." I feel like it's not fair that he should be "left behind". He doesn't deserve to become just a memory of a dog we once had! He deserved life, a life with us, his family! I know he's in heaven. I know he's in a happy place. I believe that. I really do. Still, though, I can't help but feel somehow he's been robbed and so have we.

missingFinn,

My parents as well are having a very hard time with Kurby's death. They would keep him when we went on vacations and had become very attached to him. I could say "let's go see granddaddy" and he would run to the door and bark at me. My dad would spoil him....he would sneak him pieces of bacon and eggs for breakfast! They have his picture in a frame that say "grandkids give the best hugs". Before I met my husband, they would say "he's the closest thing to a grandkid we'll ever get from you!" When I called my mom to tell her about his death, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't even get the words out. She frantically said "Kurby????!!!!!!" She knew.... She dropped the phone and she started yelling and crying.

I traveled with my job the first 2 1/2 years I had Kurby. We went all up and down the east coast. Everyone that met him, loved him. I got so many cards and calls when people found out he had died. I didn't realize just how many people DID love him.

We ended up having Kurby cremated because I couldn't bear to leave him in the ground. (My husband had buried him in a little box and I made him dig him back up because it was cold and rainy.) I know what you mean when you say you feel his little life was robbed. Kurby was 4 1/2 and that was waaayyy too young to die. I can't imagine losing him at 18 months like your baby.

I tell my stepdaughter that Kurby is in heaven with my granddad (who passed a year ago.) I tell her he needed Kurby to keep his feet warm. That makes her feel a little better.

I have went thru alot in my journey of grief. Not only did I have to grieve the loss of my furbaby, I had to learn to forgive my husband.... To not be so angry and yell at him and blame him like I did when Kurby first died. (I had asked him to stay outside and watch Kurby when he let him out.) Only God can help me thru this.

I can't imagine what your husband is feeling. I carried Kurby around in my arms rubbing his little feet and balling... I don't know what I would have done if I had to watch him die in my arms. It makes me so FURIOUS that the person that hit your baby did not stop. Especially with your husband standing there.

Please keep me posted on how you guys are doing. Come to this site often and let us know how you are. This site has helped me alot.

"Kurbysma"

I can't get over how simliar our situations are. My dad did the same thing as yours. He always brought special treats for Finn and was always sneaking him table food. He was especially furious when he found out the driver didn't even stop to offer help, nor did the cyclist. Perhaps it wasn't obvious to them that Finn had been hit, since his body was completely intact and my husband was holding him as if he were still alive, holding him close against his chest, with his little head tucked under my husband's chin. I don't know. It's hard for me to believe people could be so unfeeling and insensitive.

Finn and Kurby look so simliar, coloring, features, size, and even the way their coat was trimmed! As I was reading your post, my boys saw Kurby's picture and asked if it was Finn. I explained to them that Kurby had gotten hit by a car too and was in Heaven, perhaps playing with Finn. They got up close to the monitor and looked and looked at Kurby (the picture on the left-hand side of the post next to your username). Then they started giggling, saying he was winking at them. I took a closer look at the picture, and, sure enough, he looks like he's winking.

Do you think you will ever adopt another yorkie? The reason I ask is because about 3 or 4 months ago, I decided I wanted another yorkie. Everyone thought I was crazy, because we are getting ready to move and are going to be so busy. We'll be traveling and looking for a new home, etc., and having two dogs in tote would just make it more stressful. Even I had reservations, but I just couldn't shake the longing to have another. So about a month ago, we adopted another little yorkie male, Huck. Now I understand and everyone else says the same thing - perhaps God knew we would only have Finn a short while longer and knew having Huck would help along the healing process, especially for my kids. Huck in no way replaces Finn, they are completely different personalities, but having him to cuddle and love and take care of does cheer me up.

Anyway, I'm so thankful I stumbled upon your story. Our situations are so similar, and reading your posts and talking with you has been so helpful. I'm sure the fact that our paths crossed is no coincidence.

I have no doubt that Kurby and Finn have brought us together. Maybe to help us heal. Kurby was quite a character. He would sit with his head ##ed to the side looking at me when I talked to him. Most of the time, he would talk back by barking at me. I honestly think he understood me and was trying to tell me what he thought! He would come up to me when I was sitting and put one paw on my leg and look at me.....Man I miss him so! After he died, I realized I only had one pic of the two of us thru all these years. I was always the one snapping pics of him. I have made a memorial wall in our den with several 8x10 pics of him and his ashes in a little shadow box. It comforts me to look at them....and talk to them.

I do want another yorkie and my husband and I have decided to look next spring. I need at least a year to get myself straight. Yorkies were/are my first love. We had actually gotten a JRT puppy 2 wks before Kurby was killed for my husband. A JRT was what he had always wanted. Kurby loved her! They played so well together. When we went to get her, we were stuck between her and her sister. Once Kurby died, it didn't take us long to decide to go back and get her sister. I'm so glad we did. The two of them have helped me tremendously. They are very loving girls.....shower me with kisses. They certainly aren't my Kurby...and no dog will ever compare to him. But, they are sweethearts!

I am so glad our paths have crossed. I wish it would have occured in some other manner....
Keep in touch....You are welcome to email me anytime.

Tanya
"kurbysma"