Hi,
My name is Deb and it has been over 3 months since I lost my Golden Retriever, Sparky, to cancer. He was only 4 years old and to hear that he had lymphoma (T-Cell) last September was devastating. I put him through the whole chemotherapy ordeal and as a result, would only reach 9 short days of remission.
I feel so guilty, angry and most of all, empty without him. My grief is not progressing and at times, I don't want it to! I want to feel the pain in order to heal. It had been suggested that medication would help, but I feel that this would only be a mask in order to please everyone around me who doesn't understand what I'm going through. I just lost my best friend! No, I can't just get over it! No, I don't want another dog! AND no, I will not talk to you anymore about my grief because you just don't understand!
Whew! Thanks for letting me vent. These feelings have been building up inside of me for a while and it feels good to let it out. I am glad that I found this support forum and hope that I will be able to help some of you that are sharing this grief process.
Deb

Hi Deb,

My name is Steve and my heart goes out to you. I am soo soo sorry about Sparky. It as very hard to loose a Golden so young. We lost our 11 year old Golden, Spencer, on 5-5-06. He had a major surgery 2 months ago for cancer and was doing great. He wansnt feeling good so we took him to the vet and the xrays said he had an enlarged heart and he would not last the nite. There was nothing we could do. We lost our other Golden about 2 years ago, Scarlett, she was 16. We have rescued all our animals, and still have a golden named Gina, a St. Bernard, and 4 kittys. It is so very hard to lose a loved one, especially a 4 legged one. We will keep you in our hearts Deb. There is a great site I found for people like us, it is petloss.com. They have a chat room where people can talk to each other. I am not fond of chat rooms, but this one is a godsend. There is so much love and support is the room. I have found that chatting there helps. I have been on it for 3 days now, and they treat you wonderful. Sparky and Spencer are waiting at the bridge for us. Please email me if you need to, cinni9576@yahoo.com, and I will get right back to you.

You are in my thoughts

Steve

Deb,

I am so sorry!!

You sure tried. Sparky knew, and knows, how much you love him.

And we understand what you're going through. Sparky wasn't "just a dog"!!! When I lost my Little Girl, I had learned (after losing my Mariah) that I'd need to stay right away from people who didn't understand. I know that's not always possible, but I can't believe how insensitive some people are!!!

Please be gentle with yourself. We're here for you, and if you can, take some comfort in knowing that Sparky is fine. He's in a realm where there's no distress or pain, and he knows only bliss. You'll be reunited when it's your time.

In the meantime, you've come to a very caring place.

I'll sending caring prayers your way. Please keep in touch.
Love,
Kathy

I can relate to your feelings. I lost my 7 yrs old maine coon cat Peewee one month ago. My vet told me he needed an operation because he was having problems with his urinary tract.

They performed the operation and he had 4 happy days with us at home and then he got sick again. I had to put him down. I watched him slip away but as he did he gave out to roars. I don't know maybe to let the other side know he was coming. Some Indian tribes practiced this ritual before they died. He was a very strong proud lion cat.

I don't even want to open the vet bill. I don't care if they put me into collection. I never should of listened to them. Maybe he would still be alive right now.